


In Dreams Lay Answers

by Theneras



Series: Switching Dreams [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Minor Female Trevelyan/Cullen - Freeform, Minor M!Trevelyan/Dorian, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Non-Canon Relationship, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Past Violence, Pre-Canon, Slave Fenris, Trespasser Spoilers, other pairings mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2018-04-26 01:31:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 129,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4984705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theneras/pseuds/Theneras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Original Character finds herself in Thedas in a world and time she shouldn't be familiar with. The answers to her past and her present lay in muddled dreams. But what of her future? Can she embrace the world she has found herself in, or will she fight to return? This is a modern woman in Thedas but not. It will not always follow canon. All Dragon Age Characters belong to Bioware. Not a self-insert.</p><p>If you want the 'smut free' version it can be found here<br/>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11539057/1/In-Dreams-Lay-Answers</p><p>Significant changes made with Chapter 27-33. All effected chapters are now updated.  Latest update--Chapter 38  posted 3/23/2018</p><p>Currently on hold. Sadly I have far too many projects simmering on the back burners and this one is getting shuffled to the back for a bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated on 5-5-16: Chapter has been recently edited from 1st person POV to 3rd Person POV. I will get these edited as quickly as possible for new readers so there isn't a ton of confusion with the change in POV from chapter to chapter.

_She stood before the shimmering surface. Her companions had already passed through. She felt a rush of pain in her heart. He was not there._  
  
_"Dareth Shiral, Banal'ras." Her voice was a whisper into the wind. She dashed the tear from her cheek, readied her daggers and stepped through._  
  
She woke with a groan and raked a hand over her face. Breath turned to fog in the chilled air of the room. Cara glanced at the clock out of habit, but she knew what the time would read, 2:15 AM, it was always the same. Only the end of the dream, in the moments she came awake, stayed with her.  
  
She took a deep breath and threw off the thick blanket, grabbed her winter robe and shoved her feet into fur line slippers. The sudden cold pulled a hiss from her lips. Warmth from her body soon took the chill from the clothes as she moved to the fireplace.  
  
The coals were still warm, but the damper in the flue had shifted again. She didn't relish having to fix it again. Dusty, dirty work, with ash filling her nose and lungs, but if she didn't the fire would die each night. She pulled on the chain, felt the subtle change in the updraft, and poked at the coals. The flames crawled over the scorched log, the fire flared to life; the warm heat seeped into the room.  
  
There would be no going back to sleep. She had tried many times before, hoping to learn more of the repeated dreams, only to stare at a dark ceiling until the first lights of dawn crept into the room. She stepped out into the hall towards the kitchen. As she passed the computer, she hit the on button and moved to the coffee pot.  
  
Yesterday's coffee was still sitting in the bottom. She dumped it down the drain, then washed and filled the pot, poured the cold water into the reservoir and took the basket out. Cara dumped the grounds into the compost bucket, replaced the lid, and reached for the coffee tin. Rinsed the basket, replaced the filter, opened the tin and breathed in the deep rich smell. The basket dropped into place and she pushed the button. She stoked the fire in the wood stove and added another log to chase the chill from the room.  
  
Cara moved to the desk, typed in her password, and opened the document she had started months ago. The same time the dreams started. She closed her eyes and began typing. Sometimes she typed the same scene, but other times she was rewarded with a glimpse of the dream her conscious mind forgot.  
  
_"Ir abelas, Renan. I bring sad news." Her heart studded to a near stop._  
  
_"Mana, I will not believe he is gone!" She would not let him speak those words._  
  
_"You must accept that he is gone. If not dead, he wishes it now."_  
  
_"Our people do not fall so easily, and Banal'ras is one of our greatest warriors. He will find a way."  She slashed at the tear that dared show she believed him but part of her knew it to be true._  
  
_"The war is destroying our world. You cannot wait any longer. You must go…"_  
  
"Well, that's new…." The soft pad of paws and the click of claws on the wood floor told her he was awake. "Sorry to wake you." A soft growl told her she hadn't. Cara reached out and rubbed his head. He pushed it into her lap, rolling the chair back to make room. "I wish you could talk. I want to discuss these dreams with someone. They feel so real, I feel her pain as if it is my own." The aroma of fresh coffee filled the air.  
  
She pulled the cream from the fridge and poured a generous amount into a mug, then shuffled to the pot and filled it with the dark chocolate brew. "Why is it coffee doesn't taste the way it smells?" He cocked his head and huffed at her. She ask him this question often. Cara took a sip and felt the warmth flow through her. "Ahhhh, Heavenly." She found few pleasures left for her here, but a warm cup of coffee was one of them.  
  
_Warm laughter filled the room. The joy in her daughter's voice tugged up the corners of her mouth._  
  
_Grace mimicked her favorite character. "First it's 'I like you', then poof, Frog time." It kills me every time he says it!" The tears filled her eyes; she's only a memory now, gone from this world too soon._  
  
There on the counter was her last gift, a copy of the current chapter in their beloved series. They had spent hours together discussing the game, reading and discussing their own theories, debating their favorite characters and war table missions. Both had played out a different story. Grace chose a fiery, red haired, human rogue named Amelia, to romance the handsome Templar.  
  
_"You would like Solas," she said, "you talk like him sometimes. You get that distant look in your eye when you talk about history. You know, like you've been there."_  
  
_Cara smiled. "Who says I wasn't? No one has disproved reincarnation."_  
  
_"Right. So just how big were the dinosaurs again?" she teased._  
  
_"I didn't say I saw dinosaurs, just the last few thousand years," Cara teased back. Sometimes it did feel like a strange Deja vu when she read history._  
  
Cara created an elf mage, and found Grace was right about Solas. He was interesting, and the way he spoke made everything sound like poetry. She dove in heart first, and the egghead crushed it. She knew if Grace were there, she would have found some way to cheer her, convince her it wasn't the end --- but Grace was gone.  
  
Cara grabbed her phone, opened a playlist, and hit play. The first song played was _Over You_ by Miranda Lambert. "How fitting." She snorted and hit the repeat button and turned on the game. As long as she still felt something, she was still alive.  
  
Cara doesn't play Grace's favorite songs repeatedly, but the game is their connection. She felt Grace with her, remembered their talks and it's not so lonely.

* * *

  
_"You are our last hope! If he cannot defeat the Evunaris then we must flee this world. Start a life somewhere new. You must scout the other places and find this new home." There were enough elves willing to start a new colony on a new world if they couldn't return with news._  
  
_She stood staring at the shimmering surface and as the ripples faded, her reflection shone back at her. Large violet eyes, white blonde hair, full lips, slashing dark brows and long slender ears._  
  
_"You are Our Voice of reason," he said, "you can ally with the people of these other places and make way for our people."_  
  
_"I'm afraid. This is my home, I feel like I am abandoning him. He could still be alive!" she cried._  
  
_"You know he would support this. You are here because he believed you could find a way for us."_  
  
_She sigh deeply and blink back the tear. "Ir abelas, ir suledin."_  
  
_He smiled, clapped a hand on her shoulder. "Go child. Dareth Shiral, Var'Renan."_  
  
Cara jerked awake. "What the hell!"

The clock blinked 2:15 AM. "Of course it is." The warm summer breeze flowed through the screened French doors that lead to her private garden. The star and moonlight cast an ethereal glow to the wooden floor. The familiar scent of flowers and pine carried in on the breeze soothed her nerves.  
  
"I need a vacation."  
  
He raised his head.  
  
"How about we go camping?"  
  
He answered with an enthusiastic 'Woof'.  
  
She knew he would. Cara moved to the dresser and pulled a duffle bag out from under it. She opened drawers and tossed in some clothes. It was mid-August and was hot and dry. She penned a note for Jess and Harris. They knew where to find the will if anything should happen to her.

* * *

  
Cara spent the week camping alone. Well, not completely, Remus her husky/wolf hybrid was always with her. Sean, her brother thought she was crazy when he heard she had saved him. But when she first looked into his pleading blue eyes, he stole her heart. She was a sucker for a pair of sad eyes.  
  
Cara thought about her daughter. The two had been a team for a long time. She had stayed single for fifteen years, and told Grace it was too late to be thinking of men now. Grace told her to look around, men were drawn to her. She scoffed and told her it's just their small community being friendly. Grace gave her a smug smile, the kind which says, just wait and see. But she was gone and Cara was alone.  
  
As she thought over events in the past and the present, wondered about the future --- the semi in front of her lost control. The driver most likely had fallen asleep at the wheel. Cara slammed on the brakes and tried to find a safe place to go. Then she saw what had caused the accident. Some idiot, most likely drunk; was driving the wrong way down the two lane highway. The last thing she remembered before the squeal of brakes, and blinding headlights was the time --- 2:15 AM. Then a sickening crunch before she felt herself falling as the world around her faded to black.


	2. A Curious Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Herald and her team find an injured elf outside of Redcliffe soon after sealing the rift found outside the gate. But that isn't the only thing odd about their discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor edits to grammar and punctuation. No significant changes to the chapter's content.

"What was that?" The Herald, Mia Trevelyan, asked.  
  
"I think we could have done without these things getting any weirder," Varric answered.  
  
"The veil is weaker here than in Haven, and not merely weak but altered in a way I have not seen," Solas added.  
  
"We need to find out what is going on, but be on your guard. Wait, what is that?" She pointed to an odd shaped pile, and moved closer to it.  
  
"Careful sister, no telling what might have fallen out of that rift," Maxwell said.  
  
"Solas, it's an elf and she hurt!" Mia cried excitedly. She was dramatic sometimes, but she seemed to genuinely care about the well-being of others.  
  
"Well, shit, was she there the whole time? Or did she fall out of the rift as well?" Varric asked.  
  
He didn't hesitate to kneel beside the girl. He ran a hand over her to know her injuries before moving her. Along with a broken arm and rib there was a deep gash along her side and she had lost a lot of blood. She was also very cold. "A restorative potion please, in my bag." He handed it to Mia and she dug through it while he stopped the bleeding. Until he set her broken bones the only help he could give her was something to help with regaining her strength. "I'll lift her head you give her the potion, slowly, she is very weak."

"Is she going to be okay?" Mia whispered. "Maker, she so small, there is no tattoo, but is it possible she is Dalish?"  
  
"She is very weak and her breathing is very shallow, but I do not think we are too late. Hopefully, the cold has worked in her favor to slow the blood loss." Mia wasn't wrong, the girl was small even for an elf, though she was no child. Full breasts pressed against the thin cotton shirt, and a narrow waist flared just at her hips. He held her head while she gave her the potion, just a few drops at a time. He let out the breath he was holding when she began to swallow it. He continued to send healing magic into her wound, closing the deepest of it and working his way out. He could feel the Fade on her. Another survivor of the Breach? Could it be possible there were more? Were some of them trapped physically in the Fade? He shuddered at the thought. Once the wound was sealed he covered her in a barrier of heat to warm her.  
  
"Did she come out of the rift Solas?" Mia kept her voice low and glanced over her shoulder.

Varric and Maxwell were talking with the guard at the gate. Cassandra was talking with one of the Inquisition scouts.  
  
"I am uncertain, but I can feel the Fade on her, perhaps she was too close to the rift. Or pulled through from another opening up near her. There is still much we do not know about these rifts. If she wakes and remembers, perhaps she can tell us more." He moved on to the rib and the girl groaned as he put it back in place. He could feel the sweat on his brow. "Lyrium please." Mia opened the vial and put it to his lips tipping it as he tipped his head back. "Thank you." The rush of lyrium coursed through his veins and for just a moment sent his senses reeling from the rush of sudden power. He hated needing to resort to lyrium, but until his orb was returned he would have to make due. "Lord Trevelyan, I require your assistance. I need to set her arm. Would you please hold her still."  
  
"Of course." Mia's brother, Maxwell, knelt at the girls head and gripped her shoulders. He looked past Solas into the woods and narrowed his eyes.  
  
"What do you see?" he asked him.  
  
"I'm not sure. It was big and for a moment I thought it was watching the girl, but it's moved out of sight," he said.  
  
"Whatever it is, it can't do her harm now."  
  
"It's not her I'm worried about," Maxwell said.

Varric watched the trees with Bianca ready in case something attacked.  
  
Solas gripped the girl's arm above the break and just below it. "Hold her still." He pulled the arm and set the bones together. "It is a clean break and should heal fully." Though he doubted anyone cared but him. After knitting the bone he ran his hands over the small cuts along her arms and face. Her bruises could wait, he needed to conserve his mana in case they found themselves in a fight later.  
  
"She sure is pretty." Maxwell said as he stood. Solas was offended instantly by his comment. Humans were happy enough to sleep with an elf one minute but treated them like animals the next.  
  
"Herald, a healing potion please. Now that her bones are set she can have one." She pulled one from his bag and took the cork from it. He cradled the girl's head, lifting her up to drink it. As soon as she swallowed it he felt the soft pulse of energy crawl across her skin. A mage. Perhaps she had been turned out of her clan because there were too many mages. It happened more often than the Dalish cared to admit. Especially to those with weak abilities. It would explain the lack of Vallaslin. He thought it the most likely but as the potions began to work, her magical energy increased. Perhaps she was a city elf who had escaped notice. He doubted she was with the Rebel Mages or she would be wearing a mage's robe. Her clothing, if it could be called such, was unlike anything he'd seen before. Her shirt was of thin cotton, similar to something worn under clothing. He wouldn't call those breeches either. They stopped mid-thigh. She had no real protection from the elements and there were no weapons nearby. "She is stable for now, but she has lost a lot of blood."  
  
Some of the scouts joined them and offered to take the girl back to the main camp and have the surgeon watch over her. "Also, I want someone to ask about her in Redcliffe, find out if anyone knows her. If not, we will take her back to Haven with us. When she recovers we will help her get home," Mia said. She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Thank you, Solas."  
  
He grabbed his pack and his staff and stood. He moved away from the girl to let the scouts move her onto a stretcher. Mia was grinning at him. "Something amusing, Herald?"  
  
"I was just thinking how the rift like to send us gifts, some good, and some bad," she said.  
  
"Most of them try to kill us, Rosie. I'm not sure I see the humor in this one," Varric said.  
  
"I think you will in time, Varric," she said.  
  
"She isn't going to have a tag along is she, Chuckles?" Varric asked.  
  
"No, any spirit or demon would have healed her, or altered her form from her pain, she is 'tag along' free." Though he was beginning to think she wasn't a simple elf.  
  
"Good, now let's go meet with Fiona," Mia said.

* * *

No one in Redcliffe knew who the girl was, but then he hadn't expected anyone to. They stopped at the main camp to check on her injuries and to find if any of the scouts had found anything different about the girl.  
  
"Nothing? No one has seen her? What about the guard outside of Redcliffe? The one that wouldn't let us through the last time?" Mia asked.  
  
"No one has spoken to an elf of her description, in or around the city. It is possible she arrived just before you did, or in the night and was ambushed. Though her clothes weren't splattered with just blood, but demon filth. Whatever she fought wasn't human. Before you go, you should know the surgeon holds little hope for the girl. She's broken out in a fever and she's had little luck cooling her." Solas' jaw twitched at the news --- they understood little of healing. How half of their injured survived surprised him.  
  
"I would like to check on the girl, Herald," he said.  
  
She followed him into the surgeon's tent, where they found the girl stripped of her clothes and wet rags covering most of her skin. "Herald, I'm not sure what more I can do for her. There is an herb that reduces fevers but we are out. The field, where I know to gather some, burned during the fighting last month and I've been unable to get anymore."  
  
"Solas will see to the girl, would you give us a moment?" Mia asked.  
  
The woman eyed him warily. "Aye. Your healing skills are incredible, ser. She shouldn't even be alive after her injury."  
  
"Had we found her any later, I doubt I would have been able to save her." The woman left and he sat next to the girl, and began removing the rags from her body. "Herald, would you find her a blanket please. Her 'fever' is her own magic taking over the healing process and not a fever." He began to wonder just who the young elf was. Few elves in this age had the ability to heal themselves while they slept.  
  
She brought one near. "This is the softest I could find. So she is a mage? Then she could be a First, or even a Second for her clan?"  
  
"You know much about the Dalish. Few humans care to learn anything about them. Though, I'm not certain she is Dalish." Her knowledge surprised him. If the girl had walked among the Dalish she had left intentionally. She looked young, but her power and the control over her magic led him to believe she had at least been formally trained. Her small size would add to the deception and she could probably live with a clan for a number of years before they questioned her lack of aging.  
  
"There is a clan in the Free Marches between Ostwick and Wycome. They are friendlier than most and trade freely with towns along the coast. When I was very young, my mother and I were returning from visiting my father's Aunt when we were attacked by bandits. Dalish hunters came to our rescue and their Keeper tried to save my mother. She lived only long enough for them to find my father and bring him to their camp. While I was with them I learned a lot about them. I'm sure it was to distract me from worrying about my mother. One of them taught me to shoot a bow. Anytime they were trading near Ostwick he would visit and check on my progress."  
  
"Interesting. Both that they saved you from bandits as well as cared to teach you," he said.  
  
"He said it was no accident that our paths had crossed. Of course, I was certain he simply said it to make me notice him.  He was a bit of a flirt and only a few years older than I was, but now I wonder if there was more to it." She brushed away a tear.  
  
"Forgive me I didn't mean to bring up unpleasant memories. I was simply curious," he told her.  
  
"No, it's not that. Mahanon had become a good friend and was at Haven before the Breach. He said his Keeper sent their First to find out more about the Mage/Templar conflict. He came to accompany her because they were going to be married. They were both lost to the explosion as well as the family members I accompanied. Simply another time in my life where I survive and those I care about do not." She took a deep breath and let it out. "Her color is looking better." She placed a hand on her forehead. "She isn't as warm as she was earlier."  
  
He wouldn't press her further. The loss of life at the Conclave was uncalled for. He'd not expected the Magister to choose such a public place. Another time he'd foolishly underestimated the people in this world.  
  
He took the elf's wrist and felt her pulse. "Her pulse is stronger and her breathing isn't as shallow. I think the worse is over." She was drawing strength from the Fade, another reason he was certain she was no modern elf.  
  
"Is she well enough to move? We need to get to Master Dennett's again but we can do that tomorrow on our return to Haven, " she said.  
  
"She is. She only needs rest. You still intend to take her to Haven with us?" He had questions for the girl, but was surprised the Herald was so eager to help her. At least he was until he heard her experience with the Dalish. If only his own had gone so well.  
  
"No one here knows her. She has no weapons, no armor, no provisions and will still need days to recover. What she wore before couldn't be called clothes but now thanks to the surgeon she has no clothes at all. It would be irresponsible to leave her for those reasons alone. What if she was at the Conclave? Even if not, I have questions about how she got here and who she is. I don't want her interrogated by Leliana's scouts, she is not our enemy and I would not have them insult her by treating her like one. We know Alexius is messing with Time Magic is it possible that she was somehow pulled to this time? It's a crazy theory, but what if she was there and was drug into the Fade with me, but somehow her timeline was messed with, and instead of being trapped in there for a month --- to her it was a day."  
  
"It is a fantastic idea, but improbable. I am, however, impressed that you thought of such a theory."  
  
"Why? Because I'm young? Or not a mage?" she asked.  
  
"I --- Forgive me, I meant no offense. You simply continue to surprise me."  
  
"Your opinion of people must be really low then."  
  
"Not entirely, but few care to seek a deeper meaning and prefer to simply take things at face value. They are swayed by popular opinion rather than seek any information on their own."  
  
"I suppose that's a fair assessment of some, but even those that seem shallow and vapid are scheming. One does not deal with nobility without knowing how the game is played. Sometimes you make an outward appearance of going with the masses while subtly planning to turn them all on their asses. You don't stay single at 22, without taking a hit to your reputation, unless you can expertly turn attention elsewhere."  
  
He laughed at the imagery. "You surprise me again."  
  
This time she laughed. "Good! If nothing else it temporarily wipes that constant scowl off your face."  
  
"It is not a scowl," he said.  
  
"Right, and I'm the Herald of Andraste."


	3. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on their way back to Haven with the still unconscious girl, they encounter someone new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor edits to grammar and punctuation. No significant changes made to the chapter.

Mia returned to camp from speaking with Master Dennett. She had successfully secured, not only his horses, but he agreed to help tend them in Haven. Solas stepped out to greet her.  
  
"How is the girl, Solas?" she asked.  
  
"She's recovering slowly. I had hoped she would awaken today," he said.  
  
"Hmmm, can she handle the trip to Haven? It's just over half a day by wagon," she asked him.  
  
"I believe so," he said with a wave of his hand, "there is something you need to see."  
  
She stepped inside and there lay the largest wolf she had ever seen. The creature was black and silver, with blue eyes. "Oh! So this is who's been following us around."  
  
The wolf was curled next to the girl his head resting on her chest. He only moved his ears when she stepped through the flap, but lifted his head when she stepped closer.  
  
"Is it safe to get near her?" she asked.  
  
"He seems to know we are helping her, he would have already warned you if he thought you were a threat," he said.  
  
"Goodness he's bigger than she is!" She looked at his paws and tried to imagine how tall he would be if he stood on his hind legs. He took a shuddered breath. "Solas, I think he's injured. Have you checked him over?"  
  
"No. I found him shortly before you returned. The horses were uneasy and I went to check on them. When I returned to the tent he had snuck inside." He moved near the wolf and checked him for injuries. He found the deep gash just below his rib cage. The wound should have killed him, and was still seeping blood.  
  
"Ir halani, falon." He didn't know if the wolf would understand elven or not, but the girl was an elf so his chances were high. The wolf sighed and rolled to his side. It caused him a great deal of pain and he saw the shudder move through his body. "This might hurt a moment." He told him. He placed a hand on his head, ready to hold him down if he needed to and sent a wave of healing magic into the wound. The wolf simply flinched and whined. "Ir abelas, falon."  
  
"That was quick. Is that it then?" Mia asked once he ended his spell. The wolf jumped up and yipped.  
  
"I think that is a yes, but perhaps some food as well. I doubt he's been able to hunt with that injury."  
  
The wolf huffed. He looked at the entrance to the tent and back to the girl and whined.  
  
"She will sleep while we hunt," he said and moved outside, the wolf followed.  
  
"Andraste's Ass, that's one big wolf!" Varric said, "he's bigger than I am."  
  
"Everything is bigger than you are, Varric," Cassandra said with a snort.  
  
Varric waggled his brows at her. "Not everything about me is small, Seeker."  
  
Mia coughed at his statement while Cassandra blushed and sputtered a reply but stopped, speechless. Maxwell hid his laughter behind his hand. Solas chose to pretend not to hear them as he wandered toward the river, the wolf at his side.  
  
"Wait Solas, there is a rift at the falls. I'd like to close it before we leave. Would you mind helping before you two go hunting?" Mai asked.  
  
He had almost forgotten. "Of course." He pointed to the tent. "Change of plans falon, stay with your mistress."  
  
The wolf huffed and moved quietly back to the tent.  
  
"He is quite the animal. I didn't know wolves were so intelligent," Mia said.  
  
"Few people see them as anything but a mindless beast. A predator to be destroyed." There was more venom in his voice than he intended.  
  
"I didn't like killing the wolves either, Solas. Had I been able to kill the demon sooner, maybe we could have saved more." Mia's voice dropped to a near whisper.  
  
"Forgive my tone, I am not angry with you, Herald. You did everything you could, the fault was not yours but you sought to right the wrong. It is what we will continue to do until order is restored, if not outright peace," he said.  
  
She smiled at him and nodded her head. "Well let's go fix the rift and make this place safe from more demons."  
  
The spirits pulled through had come through against their will and were then corrupted by the sudden shock of reality. There was no hope for them though and death was the only way to renew them. They would return to the Fade and maybe one day begin to remember what they were, or they would stay simple wisps playful and curious, leading dreamers to treasures within the Fade.  
  
It was his usually thought process as he fought demons pouring out of each rift. There was little consolation though, at the loss he felt even in the need to end their suffering. Something none of them should have ever faced if not for him. His thoughts were turning dark and he realized the Despair Demon was targeting him and breaking though his barrier.  
  
"You cannot save her. She will die, but then what is another dead elf to you?"

"Enough!" he yelled and struck back at it with a fire ball.  
  
It screamed in rage and pain. "You may defeat me but I have many sisters. She will be ours. Her bright light will turn dark just like me." It screamed one last time.  
  
"Away with you!"

While Mia closed the rift he used that moment to control his thoughts.

"How many nugs do you think that wolf will eat? Two or three?" Varric asked, cutting through his thoughts.  
  
"Possibly three." He had no idea how many days the wolf had gone without food. He heard the twang the crossbow made and knew the dwarf was already handling the matter. "Thank you, Varric."  
  
"I have my reasons. After seeing the wolf I have a feeling our friend is no ordinary elf," he said. "I got two, but I need to work a bolt free, Bianca jammed on me for thinking about our mysterious friend." The dwarf wandered off to collect the nugs while muttering apologies to his crossbow.  
  
Solas chuckled. Anytime the crossbow acted up the dwarf blamed himself for upsetting her. He didn't understand his obsession with the weapon, but he was amused nonetheless. He saw the nug crossing the stream and sent a blast of ice at it and then used magic to pull it to him. A snap of his fingers and the nug was free of the ice. It was a faster death than crushed in the jaws of a wolf.

* * *

He rode in the wagon with the girl. The ride was uncomfortable and bumpy. He kept a constant barrier around her to protect her from the worst of the jarring. They would be there in less than three hours now.  
  
The horses slowed on the steep path. The road now smooth --- due to the Divine's efforts to improve the road to Haven ahead of the Conclave --- lessened the jarring of the wagon. He could relax and meditate now. He needed to rid himself of the dark thoughts pushed upon him by the Despair Demon. Even allowing a small sliver of doubt left one vulnerable to future attacks. He settled near the girl and closed his eyes and began to meditate.  
  
Just as they reached the base of the mountain and were nearly to Haven he felt whole again. The girl still slept soundly. It would be three days tomorrow since they had found her and he was beginning to wonder if she would wake or if she was slipping into a deeper sleep.  
  
The wagon slowed to a near stop as it made a sharp turn and he jumped out to stretch his legs and walk beside the wagon as they entered Haven. The wolf trotted up to his side, nearly pressing himself against him. He imagined the beast was worried about entering the town ahead. Even from here the clank of metal on metal as recruits went through training echoed off the mountain. Though, those sounds would cease in the next hour. Mia noticed he was walking and slowed her Charger, to a slow clip, to ride next to him.  
  
"How is she? Any change?" she asked.  
  
"She is the same, perhaps some improvement. She is no longer healing her own injuries so that is a good sign. She may simply be weak from the blood loss," he told her.  
  
"I'm putting her under your care, Solas," she told him.  
  
"I have a lot of research I am behind on as it is. I would prefer to not waste time running between the healer's tent and home to check on her throughout the day and night." He hoped she would simply send her to the healer's tent and let someone else care for her. He had become too involved with her already.  
  
"That's why she should stay with you." She held up a hand when he began to protest. "When she does wake she needs to feel safe. She may not if she wakes among humans or in the healer's tent. Smell is a powerful trigger. No one else has your understanding of magic and you have made a connection with her wolf. He trusts you, and should ease her fear of us when she wakes. You do know we can't simply let her wander free in Haven until we know who she is? She either stays with you or we ready a cell for her until we know she isn't a threat. I would prefer not to resort to such heavy handed measures without proof."  
  
He clenched his jaw. He'd like to continue to protest but he would not see her made a prisoner. He realized the Herald's own experience was the reason she was treating the girl with such compassion. There were dozens of reasons her being placed under his care was a bad idea, but she had made valid arguments as to why he was the best qualified. As much as it irked him she was right. "Very well Herald. I have one request."  
  
"Certainly." She smiled sweetly, he wasn't sure if it was because he had given in so graciously or if she was planning on denying his request.  
  
"It is one thing for me to attend to her injuries. I doubt she would be pleased if her privacy was violated beyond what is required." He watched the Herald blush. She hadn't realized, though he couldn't fault her, she had thought of everything else.  
  
"Of course. I will send Rylia over with some clothes and ask her if she would be willing to assist with the rest."  
  
"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Language used.
> 
> Ir halani, falon.--I will help, friend  
> Ir abelas, falon.--I am sorry, friend


	4. Waking in Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our OC awakens in Haven. How will she handle finding herself in a world she thought existed only in fiction?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edits made on 5-6-16 : Rewritten into Third person POV. Also cleaned up through weeding of unnecessary extra words. No major changes in events or plot.

_The roar of battle was deafening. All around her warriors and archers fought. Blood soaked the ground, the air filled with the metallic coppery scent. So many dead. She tried to engage an enemy but he moved right through her to a warrior behind her. Another dream, only this one felt so much clearer than before._  
  
_She turned to see the fight behind her and saw the familiar martial arts moves she had learned. The dark haired elf was clearly skilled. There was something familiar about him, but then it is how these dreams felt -- familiar. The dead around his feet were too many to count, but he would not be able to continue the fight for much longer. There were telling signs of fatigue in his moves, each one taking more effort than the last. His comrades had all fallen and the enemy advanced in numbers too great for one elf to defeat._  
  
_"Take this one alive," she heard one of them say._  
  
_"It won't be easy, he's killed over a hundred of us already!" another said._  
  
_"Then you can explain to your God why he was not captured." She watched as the other one visibly paled. "All we need is to distract him long enough for Assan to get close enough to fire his dart."_  
  
_A dozen warriors advanced on him, circling and drew him into another battle. With many more ready to take the place of any who fell. A grim smile settled on his face; he would not survive, but he would take as many with him before he fell. He made them wade over the bodies of their own and took advantage of their stumbling. Until a dart pierced his neck._  
  
_The other elves fell back out of range of his blades and waited while he swayed and staggered, fighting the inevitable. He fell to his knees and spoke into the wind. "Ir abelas, emma'lath. Ar lath ma."_  
  
_"No!" she cried out._  
  
Her own voice woke her. The ache she felt when she heard his words lingered still. Who was he? Why did he seem familiar? Then it dawned on her -- she was in a strange bed.  
  
Cara sat up in the bed in shock. "Where am I?" she cried. This wasn't home and it certainly wasn't a hospital. The place was a simple home with walls made of wooden planks. There were short walls which provided some sectioning of the one room home. A fireplace along one wall crackled and glowed, and provided heat for the room. Across from the bed was a desk cluttered with papers and books and notes tacked up on the wall. Not unlike her own desk at home. She took note of herself, expected to find injuries, at the very least bandages. But found none. There were no aches, pains or bruises, only a tenderness in her left side. Her hair flowed around her, the color was pale silver blonde, almost white. She brushed the bangs from her face, tucked some of it behind an ear and felt the pointed end. Her hand froze.  
  
The click of the door latch preceded a man -- an elf -- wearing a tan cotton tunic and green breeches. Beside him was Remus.

She choked back the elf's name, at least she hoped she stopped the thought before it passed her lips. A million thoughts ran through her mind. _"There is no fucking way I am actually here! How is it even possible? It has to be a dream."_ She pinched herself, _"Owe! Shit this can't be happening!"_   She held her head in her hands to hide her expressions from the elf that watched her. _"Ir din'an,"_ she whispered, unaware that she had spoken elven as if it were her native tongue.  
  
The bed shifted with the weight of Remus. He shoved his nose up under her arms. She gripped his scruff gently shaking him back and forth as he growled softy. Her tears fell into his coat. Relief flooded through, she had thought him lost in the crash.  
  
"I'm ok. Everything will be okay," she whispered. He huffed and then whined and she laughed weakly. "No, I know it's not home. I'm not sure where we are."  
  
He cocked his head. She hugged him, breathed in his familiar scent and a warm wet tongue licked her ear. He licked it again. She growled at him, the ears were sensitive. He whined an apology. She slid to the floor as he rolled to his back for a belly rub, and growled softly at the attention. She kept her focus on Remus until the screaming in her head quieted and she felt she could speak without the thoughts spilling forth. Being seen as a raving lunatic was not the impression to make in this world.  
  
She was afraid to look at Solas. If she allowed herself to believe she was in Thedas, and Solas was real she -- well honestly she didn't know. She fought down the panic and fear that clawed at her throat. She knew she couldn't ignore him for long.  
  
Remus was content, certain she was ok, and had the attention he had needed. She didn't know if Solas would understand her or not. When she did finally look at him he was frowning at her.  
  
_"Ir abelas,"_  she said. "Forgive my manners. This is a bit of a shock to me." She used a mix of elven and English hoping to convey her meaning.  
  
"Have we met before?" Solas asked.  
  
_Shit!_ Did she actually say his name out loud? Had she said anything to give the impression she had known him or gave any clue she wasn't from here? She couldn't think of anything. That he understood her meant she had one less thing to explain.  
  
"I don't think so? Where am I?"    
  
His eyes narrowed at her.  
  
She'd never been good at schooling her expressions, her eyes gave away her every emotion. She stood, a hand still in Remus' fur.  
  
"You are in Haven."  
  
"Haven. How did I come to be in Haven?" She was actually here, in Haven, in Thedas. She was speaking with Solas, and was an elf! Her heart rate rose and she made a conscious effort to take even breaths, trying to calm herself.  
  
"The Herald nearly tripped over you closing a rift near the town of Redcliffe. No one there knew you, and you were in no shape to leave behind. Do you remember none of it?" She watched his lips move as he spoke. His voice washed over her like a caress. Really, it wasn't fair how someone could be so sexy without trying. Then his head tipped slightly as he waited for her to speak.  
  
She frowned as she thought of what had happened. She couldn't tell him a car accident brought her. It's absurd! Even to her and it's what happened! "Just before everything went dark there was a rippling green light. After that, nothing. What is a rift?"  
  
"A rift is a tear in the Veil that separates this world from the Fade. Though that is a vast oversimplification."  
  
She wanted to smile at his explanation. She loved how he said oversimplification.  
  
"How long have I been here?"  
  
"We found you four days ago. I was beginning to worry you wouldn't wake."  
  
"Was my wolf with me?" she asked.  
  
"He was nearby when we found you -- but afraid to come close. When he followed us, rather than run away, I realized he was following you. It was another day before he was brave enough to sneak into camp. He startled the horses and he snuck into our tent while I checked on them. I returned to find him curled next to you."  
  
"Our tent?" She always saw Solas as a private person. Someone who would want privacy at camp and kept himself away from the rest as much as possible.  
  
"I am the only healer in our party and you were badly injured."  
  
_Oh_ , she thought, she had read more into it. "I owe you my life then. Thank you." She bent her head to him.  
  
"It was nothing, but you are welcome," he said. She didn't miss the light in his eyes or his slight smile.  
  
She felt herself blushing. She was standing there in a thin, white cotton gown, most likely something meant to sleep in. Feeling exposed, she focused on Remus instead of Solas' intense gaze.  
  
"Where are you from? Perhaps we can help you get back to your family."  
  
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she took a shuddered breath. "No, there is no one to go home too." The familiar ache at the loss of her daughter rose, but it had been eight months since her accident and the pain wasn't as sharp. For protection she should pretend she didn't remember her life before, it would be easier than trying to alter events. "I'm afraid I don't remember much, but I do know it's just me and my friend here."  
  
For a moment there was a look of sadness in his own eyes, but was gone just as quickly as it came. He was simply silent as he studied her.  
  
"Did you come for something, or just to bring my friend back?" she asked.  
  
"I came to see if you had awoken yet. If you feel well enough, the Herald of Andraste and Seeker Cassandra would like to see you in the Chantry. I suspect they have questions. As for your friend, he has only left your side when I take him to hunt. He is a magnificent creature."  
  
She smiled, and pushed Remus in a playful way. He jumped in a circle and wagged his tale. "He is." She sighed. "I'm afraid I know less about why I was near Redcliffe than you do. I doubt I will have any suitable answers to their questions."  
  
"In time your memories may return. It is not uncommon for traumatic events to cause temporary memory loss."    
  
What would he think if she told him where she was from? Right now she's not exactly sure if she were real, real or real like Cole. The dreams also didn't make any sense. None of the events in her dreams had been documented in such detail within the games. Maybe her love of history, myth and legend had created them. But it didn't explain why the dreams started long before she first played Inquisition.  
  
Her stomach growled loudly and heat fill her cheeks.  
  
"I will return shortly, had I known you would wake today I would have brought you some food. It will also give you time to change." He left the cabin and pulled the door behind him.  
  
The chamber pot, and the pitcher of water was a disappointment. There was no mirror in the home. She found a comb on the wash basin. Her hair was loose around her but was relatively tangle free. A braid was quick and simply enough, and soon tucked it into a bun. She smoothed the bangs to the sides and tucked the longer strands behind her ears. It would do for now, but she wanted to know what she looked like. Her hair color was similar, only a shade  lighter than her normal color. What of the rest? How much had this world changed her other than her ears?  
  
Looking around for clothes, she found only a green mercenary coat, well, a vest laid out. Along with the accompanying ugly pants, and a cotton shirt. "Hmm, I wonder where my own clothes are." She'd worn a pair of tan cotton shorts and a white tank top. What had they thought of her clothing? Probably thought she was running around in her under garments. The air which seeped under the door told her she would have been cold if shorts were the only thing she could wear. The faint scarring along her left side caught her attention. As if the wound was from years past, but the surrounding area was still sensitive, as if only a few days old. She sighed and dressed. Everything was way too big. She had to roll the hem of the pant legs and they were baggy as hell. The shirt she tucked into the breeches. The boots were too large as well but with the clothing she found two leather strips. She smiled at them -- elven foot wraps. From Solas no doubt. Due to her martial arts training, she had the knowledge of wrapping hands and feet to protect them. She left the vest off since the room was pleasantly warm even with the cold wind which drifted under the door.  
  
He returned with what looked like oatmeal, honey to sweeten it, bread, and warm apple cider. "Thank you." She almost said his name, but remembered he'd neither offered it, nor asked hers. She ate some of the porridge slowly. Her stomach complained at the sudden intrusion of food and she took a few deep breaths before sipping the warm cider. She poured some of the honey over the bread and took a bite. The honey was perfect. Pure, unprocessed, unfiltered and not made from feeding bees sugar water. She both tasted and smelled the peach blossoms and sighed. "Mmmm, fit for a god." She murmured and Solas chuckled.  
  
Feeling eyes on her, she looked up and stared back at him. He smirked and she gave him a narrowed look before returning to the food. She wouldn't let him intimidate her. He found a book more interesting. Or pretended to. She still felt his eyes on her as if he was analyzing her every move. She wasn't able to finish all the food and offered the porridge to Remus.  
  
He ate greedily. For a moment she thought sharing her food with the wolf might be rude. Her own friends detested when she shared food with him at get togethers. When she looked up Solas was smiling at them. Cara felt refreshed, thanks to the honey -- she had eaten most of it with the bread.  
  
"Thank you again," she said as she stood and retrieved the vest and scarf from the screen. "I suppose I should go, wouldn't want to keep them waiting."  
  
"I will escort you."  
  
" _Ma serannas._ I am grateful for your help." She bowed her head to him and almost missed the surprise in his eyes. Was it her politeness or her use of Elvish which surprised him?  
  
"It is nothing."  
  
They stepped outside and she realized they had been in his cabin. Clearly an unexpected turn of events and she wondered why. They walked side by side toward the Chantry and she noticed the curious glances from those they passed. Their voices grew silent as they drew near and started again after they passed. They seemed nervous, but was it her or Solas who made them stare. The other thing she noticed as soon as they stepped outdoors was how cold the wind was and the odd feel to it. Energy was carried with the wind and it caressed against her skin, a tingling sensation, but not altogether unpleasant.  
  
She was thankful she wasn't the Herald, but what was her role going to be? Cara wasn't unskilled, but she wasn't trained for actual combat. Maybe she could help Dennett with the horses. She was a black belt in Karate, had messed around with a number of weapons and was an archer. Maybe they would find one of those skills useful. She didn't expect to be a part of the Herald's inner circle but she also didn't want to be a burden. However, a soldier she was not. Cara was lousy at taking orders. She had been in charge of her own life and others for far too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish used in this chapter.
> 
> Ir abelas: I am Sorry. (I am filled with sorrow)  
> Ar lath ma: I love you.  
> Ir din'an: I am dead.  
> Ma serannas: Thank you.


	5. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping her secret is going to be much harder than she first thought. How long can she continue to trick the trickster?

Cara and Solas entered the Chantry to an argument over the mages and Templars. They had returned from Redcliffe after meeting with Fiona and Alexius. From what she heard, it sounded like the Herald intended to approach the mages instead of the Templars. Cara began to wonder just how this world might play out. The Herald/Inquisitor looked like the one her daughter created. Which was bittersweet, she wasn't sure if fate was kind or cruel at the moment.  
  
Remus ran up and said hello. He was comfortable around them which eased some of her anxiety. Leliana turned to her and nodded. Next to her stood Josephine, Cassandra and Cullen. "Thank you for all your help," she said, as they introduced themselves, "it's nice to meet you all."  
  
Mia Trevelyan was young, early twenties, with deep red hair of medium length. Mia's sharp cheekbones drew Cara's gaze but Mia's eyes held it captive. The bright lyrium blue was a stark contrast to her tan complexion and dark red hair. But their center was what pulled her in, as she tried to determine where the blue faded to purple and then to pink. All of the most glorious colors of a sunrise swirled into the bright blue dawn. The Herald noticed she was staring at them and smiled.  
  
"Forgive me, I didn't mean to stare. I don't think I've seen such a striking eye color combination. I couldn't help but study them." She felt her cheeks warm at Mia's laugh.  
  
"No need to apologize, through if you start spouting poetry I want a written copy." Her teasing set Cara at ease. "I've gotten used to that response. I imagine you get a similar reaction to your own. But enough flattery. What should we call you? You didn't tell us your name," Mia said.  
  
Cara opened her mouth to tell her and two names flashed in her mind for a moment. Both felt right. She frowned and shook her head. Which name was hers? "I seem to have forgotten. I'm sorry, I suppose that sounds like a lame excuse to withhold my name."  
  
"Hopefully it will come back to you. Memories are funny things. There are many details around the events at the Conclave I don't remember. I didn't remember my own name the first time I woke either, and the rest was as clear as mud for the first week. Do you remember anything?" she asked.  
  
"The things I do remember seem odd to me. I know of Haven and I've heard of the Conclave. I remember some events of the last ten years, like the Fifth Blight and the Mage/Templar war. I see flashes of things in dreams but nothing that explains how I got here."  
  
"Do you have family in or near Redcliffe? If so we can make sure you return to them quickly."  
  
"No, it's just me and my wolf. My home is lost to me."  
  
"If you have no one, then you are welcome to join us. We are always looking for people with skills. We have numerous positions available. Do you have any combat training?" Mia asked.  
  
"I remember hunting with a bow, but little else. Perhaps if I tried my hand I might remember," she told them. "I know I am able to track game. Perhaps I could be a scout if I lack any skills other than the bow."  
  
"Fair enough. We will get you set up with accommodations as soon as we can, in the mean time you can continue to stay with Solas. I do apologize, Haven is filled to bursting. Any spare tents and bedrolls went to the Crossroads, for the refugees," Mia said.  
  
Cara turned to him confusion filled her expression. A tent and his home? Why? There had to be something she was not seeing.  
  
"I have grown used to her wolf under foot. Until she has a place of her own I doubt anyone else would be as accommodating," he said.  
  
_"Ma serannas_ , Solas," she said to him with a nod.  
  
"It is nothing."  His expression gave no indication of how he felt about the situation.  
  
Staying in his home while needing healing was one thing, but to share it with him? She wasn't sure she liked the idea of being so close to him. This was Haven, not Skyhold, and she understood space was limited. As for Remus, most people were afraid of him when they first saw him. His size alone was intimidating, but it's his uncanny ability to understand and respond to questions and comments truly unnerved most who meet him.  
  
Her biggest concern was how long she would be able to hide the fact she knew and remember much more than she admitted? Solas had spent the past hour observing her actions and reactions, eventually he was going to realize she wasn't being truthful. What if the dreams continued? But she would not throw a fit about it and look ungrateful no matter how much her mind was screaming this was a bad idea.  
  
"Wonderful, it should only be for a few days, a week at the most. There are a few visitors leaving within the week and you may take one of the vacated cabins. If you are feeling well enough we can meet after lunch and you can figure out your skills," Mia said.  
  
"I would be happy too," she said. Solas and Cara excused themselves.  
  
The advisers began talking when they thought her out of ear shot, but they underestimated elf hearing.  
  
"What do we know of her?" Mia asked. "Did your search turn up anything?"  
  
"Nothing, no one knows her, nor has seen her before. I thought her wolf would have been memorable, but no one remembers him either." She heard Leliana say.  
  
Cara wanted to slow her pace to listen to more but they had reached the front of the Chantry. She expected them to look into her story, or lack thereof. What might they think when they found nothing about her? She could say they had been wandering alone through the woods avoiding people. It worked for Solas.

* * *

He gathered her dishes from earlier.

"If you tell me where they go --- I will take them back," she offered.  
  
He simply shook his head. "I will return shortly, make yourself at home."  
  
As she watched him leave, she wondered what she was missing. Something didn't feel right. Solas in the game is a quiet, private man. He's skeptical, not accepting, so what was his motive? Maybe it's a ploy to get her to lower her guard, to catch her in a lie? She felt a subtle shift in the energy in the air around her. She had felt something similar before they exited his home earlier but she had no idea what either might be.  
  
She moved near the fire. She was used to the cold, Montana winters are harsh and last forever, but the odd chill in the air wasn't just from the cold. Cara felt the Breach and it worried her, did everyone feel it? There was a slight vibration of energy which crawled across her skin and faint sounds, as if there were whispers in the air around her. If this was felt by others she could see why it would be unnerving. Just one more thing to reminded her ---this wasn't Montana anymore. "I should have called you Toto," she joked.

Remus curled back his lip and snarled.  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry, I was only teasing. Toto was an annoying mutt, nothing at all like your handsome self."  
  
Remus answered with a "Woof" of agreement.  
  
"Does this world feel different to you?"  
  
"Woof." He stood and walked to her, leaned against her legs, and she rubbed his head. She didn't have to bend to reach him. At least he was here. She knew she would be a lot worse off if he weren't.  
  
"It's not just the world that feels different. I am different --- more than just physical appearance different." She told him and he huffed at her in response. She looked at her hands and arms. They still had the long, slender fingers but they seemed smaller. She was not tall, even as a human, and Solas was nearly a head taller than her. The top of her head barely reached his chin. She rubbed her arms to warm them and felt an odd sensation under her hands. She gasped at the warmth which flowed from her fingers. Remus growled low. "How is this possible?" she said out loud.  
  
"How is what possible?" Solas asked as he entered.

He had lousy timing, or perfect timing. She really needed to learn to bite her tongue, but she was so used to talking with Remus and speaking thoughts out loud had become second nature.  
  
"That I am a mage?" she asked him.  
  
"Ah, so that was why you did not mention it, you did not know?" he said with a smirk.  
  
"No! I never would have thought it possible." She couldn't tell him her world had no magic. "This could be a problem. I'm not sure what control I have."  
  
Cara took the chair he motioned to. He'd brought lunch. There were fruits and bread as well as a stew. She was going to remind him she had eaten only an hour ago but found herself reaching for some apple slices. The smell of the stew also pulled at her and she found she was hungrier than she expected. He handed her a mug of something.  
  
A honey Meade. "My father used to make this. Thank you." Stronger than his, but was still a familiar taste. There were enough similarities --- this world wasn't completely foreign. "How do I explain I'm a mage? They will think I lied to them intentionally."  To withhold the truth was one thing, but outright lying was another matter. The first she was comfortable with, but not the latter. Cara didn't want them to have any more reasons to doubt her than they already did.  
  
"You need not worry, the Herald is already aware that you are a mage. Your memory loss is easily explained," he said.  
  
Though she had a feeling he knew she was being deceptive. Of course _he_ would find the lie in the half-truths.  
  
"You are very accommodating, Solas. Treating my injuries I understand --- but the rest? Why?"  
  
He shrugged. "Few things outside of the Fade interest me. You were a mystery, you still are. It is one thing for The Herald to have emerged from the Fade, we know that her mark can affect the Veil and manipulate rifts. There is nothing to suggest that you could have done the same."  
  
Something in his answer seemed flat to her. She shook her head as she realized just what the earlier shifts in energy were. "No, there is more to it. There are too many questioning glances and obvious nervousness around me. They haven't decided if I can be trusted yet, but they have no reason to put me in a cell." The smirk that crossed his face told her --- she was right. "So this is house arrest, and therefore, makes you my jailer."  
  
"If you wish to look at it as such," he said.  
  
"I understand the caution. I am not ungrateful." She could have a little fun with this. She waited a moment. "There are worse fates than to be held captive by a handsome elf." It took a great deal of willpower not to laugh out loud when he choked on his drink. Yes, she would enjoy this. If nothing else she would keep him on his toes.  
  
"I am amazed that you are so fluent in Elvish. I wonder how it is that you understand and speak it so easily. Few understand more than a handful of phrases." He had smugly turned the tables on her.  
  
While they ate he had asked her questions in Elvish and she had answered them as if it was a second nature. What other surprises would await her here in Thedas? The game of cat and mouse continued.  
  
"I could ask you the same thing," she said.  
  
"I have learned much in my travels, and exploration of the Fade." Of course he would say that. "Few, however, can say the same."  
  
"I'm not sure. It feels natural, but that's absurd isn't it?" It wasn't a lie. It didn't make sense to her why she could speak it fluently. Before all this happened she knew only a handful of phrases commonly used in the games and a few more from looking through the wiki. She sat with her head in her hands to hide her expression. This was why she didn't want to spend time around Solas until she had all of her thoughts under control. If anyone would figure out she was more than a simple elf he would. "Why do I remember something like that so clearly, but not others?" She couldn't tell him why she shouldn't know elvish.  
  
She flinched when his hand touched her shoulder. When she looked up, instead of his usual stoic expression it was one of concern.  
  
"It is not important that you answer that now. Struggling against the memories will only cause you pain. In time you will find your answers," he said softly.  
  
She disliked the deception, but until she had a better idea of what was going on she couldn't share her secret with anyone. Especially him. Sorry, Dread Wolf. She would play to his sympathies, if they would help hide her secret. In time he might know it, she only hope he would continue to be understanding when he did. She realized he suspected she must be an Ancient but she no more knew how to act like one, than she knew how to not act like herself. She would have to continue to feign memory loss until she could be more convincing. Oh, what a tangled web she wove….  
  
"Okay, then I will try to relax and give it time."  
  
"Now let us see about your magic." He explained he was placing wards around the room to prevent the magic from going wild while she called on it.  
  
She stood and moved near him.  
  
"Place your hands palms down, over mine. Most mages have one possibly two natural talents. Elements are often the most common. This exercise will help you identify where your strengths are. Look within and find your aura, try and describe it."  
  
She took a deep breath and thought about the power she felt earlier. But what she found wasn't fire as expected, but earthy. She felt life, fire and wind. "I feel connected to the earth, the plants, the trees, but also deeper. I feel as if I could control the very ground and rocks."  
  
"Good, what else?"  
  
"I feel wind. It's strong like a horrible storm lashing with ice and electricity. But there is also something else. It's soothing…" and her eyes snapped open. She felt the connection to spirits and the knowledge of healing. "I'm a healer!" and he nodded.  
  
"You have a great deal of talent and power. Now reach out and use your aura to search for mine."  
  
"Are you sure? It won't set us on fire or anything like that?" she asked.  
  
He chuckled. "No, the wards will prevent it from going wild, and I am confident I can contain it before you cause either of us harm if you cannot control it."  
  
If anyone knew magic it was Solas. She locked eyes with him and reached out weakly. She felt it building in her fingertips but she was afraid to push out with more.  
  
He frowned at her. "You have more power than that, do not be afraid."  
  
She stretched out her aura and slowly dropped the shield that she recognized. To expose it was as simple as lifting a lid and then channeling it where it should go. As she did, the tremor she had felt earlier in the air grew stronger and her aura instinctively reached toward it.  
  
_"Reach out your aura child and seek mine." The hands looked so small against the hands they were placed upon. "Identify the elements that I command." She looked into his violet eyes and he smiled at her. "Do not be afraid, you will not harm us, the wards will protect us."_  
  
_"I'm afraid of the lightening, Uncle." She studied the face in front of her. There was humor there in the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. "I didn't meant to shock him."_  
  
_His warm laughter filled the room. "He earned it little one. The only thing shocking is that your magic has come so soon. Your parents would be proud."_  
  
_"I miss them." She blinked back tears that stung her eyes._  
  
_"They are with you always. Here." He touched her forehead. "And here." He pointed at her heart. "They live in your memories --- as long as you remember, they are never lost." He took her hands again. "There is nothing to fear. You will learn to control the storm, my girl, it will not harm you. I will protect you."_  
  
She felt a shock of electricity across her palms. She jerked away from him and cried out. For a moment she was still there. _"Ir abelas!_ " Solas gripped her wrist not letting her retreat.  
  
"I can't!" She felt frantic and tried to pull from his grasp.  
  
"You are safe now. Take a deep breath." When she began to relax he released her wrists. "Forgive me, you slipped into a dream. What did you see?"  
  
She took another shuddered breath. "I --- I don't know. Another elf, she --- I was much, much younger. He wanted her to seek his magic, they were doing this very thing. It felt so real." Whose memories were she seeing? They couldn't be her own, could they?  
  
"Do you know who he was to you?" His curiosity was piqued.  
  
"The girl --- I called him Uncle. Just before the memory, I felt a tremor in the energy around us and reached out to it. Please, no more today. I'm sorry."  
  
He smiled at her and then shook his head. "No need for apologies. You have a great deal of power and remarkable control. Though, slipping into the Fade, while awake here in Haven, is not the wisest action. The Breach in the Veil allows you to easily call on the Fade, but there is danger here. Especially for a dreamer."  
  
She frowned. "It was unintended, and that worries me. Is this normal? To dream while conscious? Is that common?" She now understood the tremor she felt in the air, the Fade.  
  
"No, it is not common in this age. You are unique. Few will attain the abilities you have now in their entire lives. Your power will likely grow as well. You are quite remarkable. Do not let them see your full strength, they may not understand."  
  
She raked a hand over her hair and felt the loose strands around her ears. "You wouldn't happen to have a mirror would you?" She wanted something else to focus on to calm her rattled nerves.  
  
"No, but I can create one in the wash basin." He crossed to the water pitcher, poured water in the bowl, and waved a hand over it --- freezing it into a reflective surface.  
  
"Neat trick." She had one of these at home but it's decorative only, a remnant from history. Her reflection filled the surface. She was surprised by the face that looked back at her. The features were elvhen. Her nose was only slightly different, it wasn't as high, and the bridge flatter and slightly wider. Her eyes were the same shape only slightly larger, violet with lighter purple accents near the center. Her face was still oval shaped, and her cheekbones were still high and well defined. Her features had been out of place on Earth, and had been called interesting, or different by her friends and family. Those not so close to her said they were strange, or odd. As an elf, they worked --- the face looking back her was pretty. She also looked to be in her late twenties early thirties rather than forty-two. Though, even as a human she had aged little in the last fifteen years.  
  
"Lady Montilyet thought you might like these," Solas said holding out two decorative hair sticks. They were carved out of ivory. A lavender rose in full bloom was carved at the top of each with rosebuds and vines carved and painted along 2/3rds of them.  
  
"Oh, they are lovely. Yes, perfect! Thank you." She pulled the braid free and worked her fingers through it. Twisted her hair up into a loose bun and slipped them through to hold it in place. She turned and saw Solas watching. He was nothing like she expected and yet --- he was. She smiled at him nervously before speaking.  
  
"Well, I uh, I should go to the training yard. I assume they will have weapons for me there?" she asked.  
  
"I am sure they have everything you may need."  
  
He opened the door and waved her through. Remus trotted beside her and as they neared the gate he became excited.  
  
"I have been taking him hunting just past the training yard. There are an abundance of nugs there, he seems to enjoy them."  
  
"I'm glad you've let him hunt. I take him hunting at least every few days. He is mistaken for a dog, but his hunting instinct is strong."  
  
"I hadn't considered. While his coloring is different from most wolves, he's not so different in behavior. Other than being at ease around people, well mostly." He chuckled when Remus intentionally pushed against his legs and then danced around. She smiled at the two of them. The attention Remus paid him made him look younger, lighter --- for a moment he'd forgotten his burdens.  
  
"I'm just surprised that he snuck into camp. He's not usually so brave." Remus woofed at her and then gave a low growl. "Alright, I get it, you were worried." He still was, and so was she.


	6. Part of the Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will our OC find a place with the inner circle? What skills does she have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated leaving this chapter out. It's our OC demonstrating her skills and meeting the few members of the inner circle that have been recruited so far. It's one of those behind the scenes things I thought about where the Herald makes sure that all her inner circle are properly armored and issued weapons, mounts and what that process might have been like. I decided to keep it because this is her first introduction to the rest of the team and some known character in Haven.
> 
> (Edits made on 5-7-16 : Rewritten into Third person POV. Also cleaned up through weeding of unnecessary extra words. No major changes in events or plot.)

She tried not to gawk at everything around her, she was in Haven, in Thedas. This wasn’t a dream. Nearby other recruits practiced. The clank of metal on metal filled the air as they struck and counter struck. The crisp autumn air carried the scent of pine. There were birds and insects, sounds of the wind through the trees, even the squeaks of nearby nugs as they chased each other through the snow. No dream would have been this real, had this much depth and vibrancy, would be filled with this much life. All of it was real.  
  
What there was of the inner circle had come out to meet her and see what she could do. There were also a number of scouts and recruits. Mia introduced her to Maxwell, Mia’s brother, Varric and Sera. Maxwell was an older, male version of his sister. He was as handsome as Mia was pretty. As for Varric, the game really doesn’t give the chest hair justice. Sera was as impish as she expected and she loved her immediately. Who doesn't enjoy the occasional prank?  
  
Vivienne wasn’t there and she wondered if Mia would recruit her. If there were one person in Thedas she would not get along with it would be Madame de Fer. With their opposing views on mages and templars, she shuddered at the thought of her becoming the next Divine. Mia hadn’t recruited Iron Bull or Blackwall yet either.  
  
“Before we begin I should tell you, I’m a mage. I didn’t mean to mislead you, but I seem to be slowly remembering things,” she told them.  
  
“Think nothing of it. Solas and I knew you were a mage. Honestly, I forgot it myself,” Mia said.  
  
Cullen looked skeptical as he studied her a moment. “What would you like to start with?” he asked.  
  
“I think the bow first. Do you have a few I can test the weight of?” He waved a hand to his right and she stepped past him. There were four to choose from. She picked up each one, but none felt right. “Is this it? I was hoping for something in between these.”  
  
“Here try this one.” Mia held out a dragon fire bow.  
  
“I couldn’t! That is far too fine a weapon. While these aren’t ideal for me, I can make one of them work,” she said.  
  
“I insist. This is not mine, it’s an extra I had made recently.” She held the bow out.  
  
Cara took it and found the balance perfect. She pulled back the string and smiled. “It’s perfect.” She slipped a quiver of arrows over her shoulder and eyed the targets they had. They were at varying distances but none of them were very far away. Most were within fifty yards. This was too easy. “Is there no target farther away?” Mia waved her around a tent where she saw a target set back in the trees about seventy yards away.  
  
She found a spot where she could reach the four farthest targets without moving. There was a faint breeze from the east to account for. She pulled an arrow from the quiver and sent it into the closest target. Quickly grabbed a second and shot the target farthest away. The two middle targets were nearly identical in distance and she was able to rapidly shoot at both. A low whistle and clapping sounded behind her.  
  
“Impressive,” Mia said.  
  
She had hit dead center on three of four targets, the other still well within the center circle.  
  
“But can you do it again?” Mia asked.

She turned and shot four more arrows. Splitting the flight of one and placing two right next to the first arrows. The farthest target had the largest spread, but both shots fell within the center circle. Cara had been part of the archery team in middle school and high school. She was naturally good at it, from the moment her father handed her a bow.  
  
“Holy Shite!” Sera said. “She shoots better than I do!”  
  
“Alright, what next?” Cara asked.  
  
Mia handed her a pair of blunted practice daggers. “How do these feel to you?”  
  
She took the daggers from her, turned them in her hands and lifted them, balancing them on her palms, getting a feel for their weight.  
  
_“The daggers are an extension of yourself. Remember this and you will retain the fluidity of your movements.” The same violet eyed elf she had seen in the earlier vision handed her the weapon she dropped. “Now try again.” Then he struck out._  
  
She dropped the daggers and yelped at the shock of the flashback. Solas was already moving toward her.  
  
“Well that was unexpected,” she said half joking. She knew her expression was one of bewilderment when she looked at him. Cara had intended to deceive them, pretend to remember an event, but this was not exactly what she had expected. She trembled from the shock of the unexpected flashback.  
  
“I’m okay, it was just a flashback, no unintended trip into the Fade this time,” she said quietly as he drew next to her.  
  
“Perhaps, you should do this another day,” Solas spoke quietly. She could see he was concerned about the memories nearly as much as she was. Or maybe he was worried how the others would react to them.  
  
Cara shook her head, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m alright now, it has passed. I would prefer not to put this off. It was not unpleasant, simply unexpected.” He nodded, then retreated back to the edge with the others. Both Cassandra and Cullen were ready to smite her should she do anything dangerous or magical. She smiled at them. “Sorry to alarm you. It was a memory of training with another elf. It seems I know how to fight with daggers.” Neither of them completely relaxed, but at least they didn’t look ready to strike her down either.  
  
Cara retrieved the daggers from the dirt and brushed them against her pants. She pushed all thoughts of the flashback to the back of her mind. She would deal with any implications of it later, or maybe never. Never sounded good. She wasn’t ready to admit what the flashback meant. She did a few stretches and spun her arms loosening her shoulders. Then moved through a few warm-up moves. When she felt ready she turned to Mia.  
  
“These will do well enough. Would you care to spar, Herald?”  
  
“Please, call me Mia,” she said as she reached for another pair of blunted blades and went through a short warm up herself.  
  
There was some murmuring among the companions, and recruits.  
  
“Varric are you taking bets again?” Mia asked.  
  
“Now, Rosie, would I do that?”  
  
Cara bit back a smile. Of course he would, when didn’t Varric bet on anything?  
  
“You would, and I want in on the action. Ten Royals,” Mia said.  
  
“Alright 3 to 1 odds in Rosie’s favor,” Varric said. “First to five hits.”  
  
“Sounds fair, wish I had something to ante up,” Cara said, “I don’t suppose I can bet on credit?”  
  
“I will spot her ten Royals, Master Tethras, and place ten Royals on our new friend as well.”  
  
“Really, Chuckles? I didn’t take you for a gambler. You do realize Rosie has never been bested?” Varric asked.  
  
He simply shrugged. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He was taking a big risk, but then so was she, if she lost she’d owe him ten Royals. She didn’t even know how much ten Royals were. But if she won --- He looked inordinately pleased, as if he was about to watch a favorite play. He gave her a smug smile and a slight nod.  
  
Cara stepped to the area Mia indicated and readied both daggers. Mia smiled and readied her daggers. Cara took a deep breath and rushed her. Mia spun away but Cara spun with her, their daggers met in a clank of metal. Cara pushed her away and spun around behind her, Mia met her and deflected the blow. Cara rolled her shoulders. Mia was good, but she was just getting started.  
  
Mia smiled. “This will be a close match.”  
  
Cara grinned back at her, and they began to spar in earnest. The match was close. Cara gave her the advantage the first part of the match and soon the score was three to zero in Mia's favor, while Cara learned her style. She had her reasons and before Mia could land two more blows Cara was out maneuvering her. If she had fought dirty, she would have won far sooner, but she wanted them to trust her. Beating the Herald too soundly wouldn’t be wise. Mia was good, but she gave away her moves too easily --- if one knew where to look. There were subtle shifts in her posture as she prepared her strike. She would drop her right shoulder if she were rolling to the left. Soon they were tied four to four.  
  
Mia made her move. Cara saw it in the change in her expression. A smug look. A look which said she was going to use something that had always worked in the past to end a match and Cara was ready for anything. Mia crouched and swiped out her left leg to throw her off balance, but Cara leapt over it and twisted in the air toward her. Mia ducked under her as she turned. Cara landed behind her, striking the fifth blow across her side.  
  
“Well fought!” Mia said. “Where did you learn that move? You really have to show me again sometime.”  
  
“It’s a risky move, not one I would use in a real combat setting unless it was my only choice. It leaves you vulnerable.” If she had landed wrong it would have twisted her ankle or knee badly, not something she would risk if her life were on the line. Growing up Cara and her brother were encouraged to try any sport they wanted. She didn’t take karate as a child with her brother but instead chose gymnastics. When she did take karate as an adult it made it so much easier.  
  
“Some of your moves remind me of Fenris. Of course he’s a warrior, but he doesn’t fight like one half the time, ” Varric said as he tossed her a small leather pouch, heavy with coins. “Have you ever used a sword? Some of your attack moves are not quite those a rogue would use.”  
  
She knew how to use a blade, but did not want to be a tank. “I doubt I’d make a good warrior, considering my size. Who is Fenris?” Now there was one elf she would love to meet. If only she had found herself in Kirkwall instead of Redcliffe.  
  
“He’s an elf too, we used to work together back in Kirkwall. He’s a good kid, bit of a lone wolf. You’d like him,” he said.  
  
She nearly laughed. She would like him, but doubted he would trust a mage.  
  
“He’s one of the best warrior’s I’ve seen,” Cullen said. “We sure could use his help.”  
  
“He has these lyrium tattoos that give him almost magical abilities. He can pass through objects and people at will. The last I heard he was tracking Tevinter slavers in the Free Marches,” Varric said.  
  
“He sounds interesting.” How disappointing to never meet her favorite elf. She would settle for stories of him instead.  
  
“I would like you to join my team,” Mia said after handing Varric her coin. “A mage that fights like a Rogue, with both bow and daggers, is a valuable asset.” She turned to the rest of the circle. “Do any of you object?”  
  
The only one who regarded her oddly was Cassandra. Cara hoped, in time, she would come to trust her.  
  
“Though we will need to call you something. To call you Girl or Elf just seem like insults. Perhaps you could choose a name until you remember your own?” Mia asked.  
  
Cara was the name she identified with most. The other was a name given to the elf in her dreams, though she was finding it harder to think of them as simply dreams. They felt more like memories of a life before. Cara didn’t feel like she belonged in either world. “Carina. I believe that is my name. It feels familiar to me anyway, or Cara.”  
  
“Alright Cara, let’s head over to the smithy and the stable,” Mia said. “You will need armor and a mount.” She looped her arm hers mine and led her away. Cara looked over her shoulder at Solas, he gave a slight nod and led Remus away. “I think medium armor,” Mia said. “You're a mage, but with your other skills I think you would be comfortable in medium weight armor.”  
  
“What you have looks comfortable, and you certainly move easily in it.”  
  
“That’s what I was thinking.” She leaned over and whispered. “The men certainly seem to like the look of it as well.” Cara's laughter rang out with hers. Mia was light hearted, with a quick wit, and a generous nature. She liked her, and felt like she was making a genuine attempt to make her feel part of the team.  
  
“You’ll need a staff as well,” she said. “Which element do you prefer?”  
  
“Any of them actually. I know a few spells in each element, though electricity is the easiest to call.” She hoped she was right --- if the flashback of the young mage's first spell was any indication of her abilities, then electricity was her main element. “I don’t know that I would use a staff much, if at all.” She had no clue if she knew how to use magic fast enough for combat. But would she give away too much if she asked Solas to teach her?  
  
“Then this will work perfectly. It never hurts to have more magical backup and your rogue talents will be especially useful. Harritt, we need to fit Cara here with armor and weapons,” Mia said.  
  
“Hmmm, what kind?” he said gruffly.  
  
“I thought something like the Herald’s gear would work?”  
  
“Yes, and I want daggers like mine for her, as well as a set of lock picks and throwing knives. I will also give her the other dragon fire bow.” She turned to Cara. “I have a staff that I think will work for you. I’ll send it by Solas’ later.”  
  
Harritt stepped to a crate at the back of the smithy.  
  
“I appreciate this, Mia. Not many would accept a stranger with a questionable past.”  
  
“I remember my own introduction here all too well. Just don’t mistake kindness for a lack of caution,” she said.  
  
Cara smiled at her. “I had come to that conclusion. Your trust won’t be misplaced.”  
  
Mia gave a slight nod. “I would like you to join us on our trip to the Storm Coast and then to Redcliffe. Your trial by fire, so to speak. Stop by and introduce yourself to Master Dennett.  I’ll tell him I want you issued a mount and then meet us in the Tavern at the eighteenth hour for dinner.” Mia left her there to get outfitted.  
  
“This will hold up against your own magic use.” He handed Cara a bundle tied with string. In the stack was a supple, pale pink, almost white, nug leather coat/vest, a silk scarf and sash, with tan breeches and a silk shirt. As well as knee high boots, gloves and bracers to match.  
  
“It’s so soft.” As durable as it was, she hadn’t expect it to be so soft.  
  
“You can try it on in there.” He pointed to the building next to the smithy. She slipped through the door and quickly changed. The breeches fit better than she expected. The shirt was only slightly loose and would give her plenty of room for movement. She pulled the vest over her clothes and wrapped the sash around her waist. The boots fit well, so did the leather gloves and bracers. All of it fit perfectly.  
  
“The boots and breeches fit well, but I’m not sure I have this tied right,” she said as she stepped out.  
  
“Looks right to me.” He motioned for her to turn. Then nodded and waved her over to a cache of weapons. “I keep an extra set of daggers for the Herald. Try these for weight and balance.”  
  
Cara took them from him and spun them. “I’ve never used dual edged daggers.” She twisted, spun, and moved them getting a feel for their weight in her hands. They felt strange at first but in no time she was able to spin them without worrying about injuring herself. “These will work fine. Thank you, Harritt.”  
  
“You aren’t done yet.” He showed her where all the pockets and loops were for daggers, throwing knives, the lock picking set, and spell book. There was even a spot in the back of the coat for a hidden dagger just in case. “You look fit for battle,” he said. “If you wear them, there are some hats over there.”  
  
Cara looked at where he pointed and saw some wide brimmed hats. She found one made of the same leather. She grabbed a silk cowl as well, attached it to the top of her coat, and pulled it up. She was getting lots of stares and they made her uncomfortable.  
  
He showed her a quiver of arrows before she left. “These have a fire enchantment, and these are the regular arrows.” The fire arrows had red flights, the others were brown.  
  
“I never expected to be fitted with such finery. Thank you again. Do I owe you anything?”  
  
“Nope, I’m paid by the Inquisition. The Herald provides the materials, and she sells her extra gear through me. I’ll have your weapons sent to Master Solas’.”  
  
Cara handed him back the daggers and all the throwing knives, then reached for the hidden dagger. She understood they weren’t ready for her to wander town armed.  
  
“Keep the dagger, miss; a gal shouldn’t be completely helpless.”  
  
“Thank you, Harritt. I will feel calmer knowing it is there if I need it.”  
  
He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “You need anything, you just let me know.”

* * *

She walked a few feet to meet Master Dennett. “Hello, I’m Cara. The Herald said to introduce myself and that you would issue me a mount.”  
  
“Yeah, Inquisition stopped by and said to let you have your pick. Do you know anything about horses?”  
  
Cara smiled at the title he gave Mia, as if she was the entire Inquisition. “I have some experience. I at least know which end bites and which one kicks,” she joked.  
  
“That’s more than half of these lads know.” He said with a laugh. She liked Dennett already. “Haven isn’t made for the number of mounts we have. It’s groaning under the weight. Come, I’ll show you what we have. These are the mounts for the inner circle. The others are in corrals with make shift shelters. It’s been tricky but I’ve made it work.”  
  
“They are all magnificent creatures. Why has no one chosen the Hart?”  
  
“He’s a picky beast, he hasn’t befriended anyone yet, not enough to allow them to ride him. He’s tried to bite anyone that gets near him. I’m about to send him off to pasture, he’s just taking up space that a more useful mount could use.”  
  
He was beautiful. His coat was a mix of pink, purple and brown. She’d never seen such coloring on any animal before. The paint was beautiful too. Cara knew what to expect from horses, but a Hart was completely different.  
  
“Do you think I could take the paint and the Hart for a ride? I can’t decide just looking them over. I need to know how each will react to me in the saddle.”  
  
“It’s the only way to know an animal, I’ll get the Hart’s tack ready while you saddle the paint. Maybe you’ll have better luck with him.” He pointed to the saddle next to the door.  
  
She moved into the stall and his ears perked. “Hello, handsome. How about we go for a little ride?” He stamped a hoof and blew out a breath. She slipped the saddle blanket over him and then lifted the saddle into place. She leaned down and pulled the cinch strap under him and he shivered as it slid across his belly. She quickly had all straps and cinch tightened and waited on him to let out the last breath before she fully tightened the cinch. Cara smiled at his stamp of irritation as she tightened the belt, once he relaxed.  
  
“You have a way with horses, too. A woman of many talents.” A voice said coming up behind her. She turned and smiled at Cullen. “And what other talents do you possess?  
  
“Oh, I think I’ve shared enough of my secrets today. Though, in all honesty the rest are secrets even to myself,” she said with a bright smile.  
  
“I’m surprised you didn’t choose the Hart. Even Solas went for that Hart first. That one is his.” The Hart he pointed to was the Brecillian-Surefoot.  
  
“I haven’t made my mind up yet. I need to ride them both. You really don’t know if you work well with an animal until you ride it.”  
  
“If you’ll wait a moment I’ll saddle mine and ride with you. We don’t often have trouble here but you shouldn’t ride out alone.” She suspected everyone with any authority was to observe her so they could decide if she was a threat or not.  
  
“Alright. That way if the horse runs off with me someone will know what direction to look.” Cara wasn’t worried, she’d trained many horses over the last ten years, and there were only a few she couldn’t eventually control.  
  
While he was busy she checked the shoes of the paint. “Lift,” she told him and he listened. He was well trained and obedient. He seemed anxious, probably due to a lack of hands to exercise the horses. Dennett had complained a lack of competent help. Cara was satisfied, his hooves were well tended and the shoes tight. Dennett managed a good stable. She doubted she had seen better, other than her own.  
  
She led him out and leaped into the saddle. The paint danced, shuffling his weight from foot to foot and she felt his muscles bunching under her thighs. He was anxious to run. Cullen was soon beside her. He wasn’t as graceful getting into the saddle, his armor was too bulky, but he sat his horse like a man that knew how to ride.  
  
“Is there a safe place to run? He has a lot of pent up energy that needs burned off before I’ll know how he truly handles.”  
  
“That way past the tents, there is a decent road past the gate there. We can let them run once we are through.”  
  
“Lead the way Commander.” She bit back a laugh when he blushed at her brightest smile. She needed to tread carefully. This was no longer just a game --- the rules were completely different now.  
  
The horse had fine form and was quick to answer even the slightest commands. He would be a fine horse, or so she thought until a ram bolted through the trees and startled him. He reared up and almost dumped her off. Cara flattened against his neck and cooed at him. When his front hooves touched the ground, she pulled the rein to the left, and forced him into a turn so he couldn’t rear again. “I don’t think he will be good in battle without more training.”  
  
“I think you’re right. I’m just surprised you kept your seat, he’s dumped more than a few riders.” Cullen was grinning.  
  
“Oh? So he has a reputation?” She laughed. “Another test? How many more can I expect?”  
  
“Nearly everyone tries the paint. There isn’t a finer horse in the stable, aside from his flaw.” He smiled. “You’re a talented woman. Rogue, mage, equestrian. Do you cook as well?”  
  
“Why? Looking for a woman who cooks before you settle down?” she teased.  
  
“Perhaps.” His voice was lower than usual. His gaze was intense and his eyes darkened.  
  
Cara felt her cheeks warm with a blush, and it deepened his seductive chuckle.  
  
Dennett had the Hart ready when they returned. “Did you have any trouble with Rascal?” he asked with a grin.  
  
Why oh why didn’t she ask his name before taking him out? She might have expected trouble from him if she had.  
  
“Some, he startled at a ram, but didn’t unseat me,” she said.  
  
“She sat like she was part of him,” Cullen said.  
  
“Few can hold their seat with him. He gives no warning when he rears. I’m not surprised a Halla rider would keep her seat. Some of the mounts are still half wild. I don’t have the time to rough break them let alone do it right. I sure could use your help when you aren’t traipsing about with the Herald.”  
  
“I’d love to help in any way I can.” Cara didn’t like sitting around when she could be busy. She had grown up around horses and had taken over the family horse ranch fifteen years ago. She had more than a little experience with horses.  
  
“I’ll see to him, take the Hart out, just remember he will run like a deer not a horse.”  
  
Cara walked over and stood in front of the Hart. She’d never been this close to anything like him before and wasn’t sure what to expect. He almost looked like an elk, but had antlers which were more moose like. He turned his head to get a better look at her and then stuck his nose out and sniffed. Then he blew a breath in her face and nosed her chest.  
  
“I think he actually likes you,” Dennett said. “Usually tries to bite anyone that gets that close.”  
  
She rubbed his nose and stroked the side of his face. “Does he have a name?”  
  
“Not yet, we’ve tried but he didn’t like any of them.”  
  
“How about Hanin?” she asked. “It means Glory, and you my friend are a glorious animal.” He tossed his head and stamped a foot. “Shall we take a ride?”  
  
He lowered his head and almost knelt for her. She grabbed the tuft of fur on the back of his neck and swung up. He stood and shook his head.  
  
They slipped through the gate with Cullen trailing just in case. Cara leaned forward, nudged Hanin's side gently with a heel, and thought about racing down the road. He leapt forward with a bound and sprung away. It was an amazing feeling to have him bounding at full speed over the open road. When they had gone nearly a mile she pulled back gently on the rein, sat down in the saddle and he slowed easily. Trotting in an arch then raced back to the gate; the cowl fell back in the wind and her hair came loose. She reached back and grabbed the sticks, letting her hair fall behind her.  
  
Solas had brought Remus and had a hand fisted in his scruff to hold him from bolting to me. He needn’t have worried, Remus knew how to behave around horses. Cara slipped off the Hart and started to lead him into the stable. He nipped at her ear with his lips and blew out a breath. She laughed and pushed his head away. “Behave, you big flirt.” He pushed his nose into her back and she pulled the sugar cubes she had stuck in her pocket and gave them to him. He nibbled them up greedily and nosed her chest for more. “Sorry sweetie, but no more today.” He lipped her cheek and she laughed again.  
  
“The Hart will suit me well Master Dennett.”  
  
“You go get cleaned up for dinner, I’ll see to the Hart, miss,” he said.  
  
“Thank you.” She turned to Remus and Solas.  
  
“I see he has taken a liking to you. Many have tried to befriend him, myself included.” Solas almost seemed jealous, or maybe he was just surprise.  
  
“I heard he was difficult. It was why I rode the black and white first.”  
  
“Did he throw you? He’s thrown every one that has tried to ride him.”  
  
“He tried, but I managed to keep my seat,” she said and sighed, “he’s too magnificent of a horse to be so jumpy. I wonder if I could work that out of him.” Cara believed there was no such thing as a bad horse. You just had to learn what worked for them.  
  
“Did you find a name the Hart found agreeable?” he asked.  
  
“Hanin.”  
  
“Glory, a fitting name. I brought Remus out to hunt. The cottage is free if you care to bathe before dinner. The tub is enchanted, simply activate the rune.”  
  
“Thank you.” She bit back a smart ass comment about roaming through Haven without a keeper. She ruffled Remus’ scruff and headed for the cottage.


	7. Playing with Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking and other shenanigans. OC lets her guard down and shares a memory with a curious wisp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edits made on 5-7-16 : Rewritten into Third person POV. Also cleaned up through weeding of unnecessary extra words. No major changes in events or plot.

Cara stood outside the tavern, off to the side of the door with her back to the wall. She didn't want anyone to think she was anxious about entering. She had trouble with crowded, loud environments. She was already anxious and more than a little confused at being dropped into a world she thought was a fantasy. Though, being found out as a fraud or a freak was what worried her most. She didn't have a divine mark to protect her if they learned her secret.  
  
"Thinking of running off?" A male voice cut through her thoughts. Maxwell Trevelyan, the Herald's brother. He shared Mia's English accent.  
  
"No, I just don't like crowded places." She glanced at the door at a particularly raucous cheer from inside.  
  
"They are a rowdy, but friendly bunch. Cullen runs a tight ship. Letting off steam is acceptable, but any vulgar behavior is quickly dealt with."  
  
She snorted. "For humans I'm sure, as an elf I doubt I'll be given the same courtesies."  
  
"Then allow me to escort you. No one would dare assault the _companion_ of the Herald's brother."  
  
She didn't like the way he said companion nor the way his eyes wandered over her. His protection would come at a price. The tremor she felt was not a pleasant one under his gaze. He had stepped closer to her as he spoke and she pressed herself against the wall to avoid touching him. She was about to decline his offer when they heard the soft growl.  
  
"Lady Carina, there you are," Solas said.  
  
While Maxwell was looking at the wolf, she slipped around him and closer to Solas. Remus placed himself between Maxwell and Cara.  
  
"You were late, so I thought I'd meet you here," she lied.  
  
"Forgive me for keeping you waiting. We lost track of the time," Solas answered. "Thank you for keeping Lady Carina company while she waited for me."  
  
She felt the tension leave immediately. Lord Trevelyan was a man used to getting what he wanted. As the oldest son and heir, he expected elves, servants and lessor nobles to accommodate his requests or deal with the consequences.  
  
"My pleasure," he said. "Perhaps another time then, Lady Carina." He gave a mock bow and entered the tavern.  
  
She hugged her arms around her waist. She didn't want the Herald's brother as an enemy, but she would not be his plaything.  
  
"Are you alright?" Solas asked.  
  
"He only made a suggestion. Though, I doubt this will be the end of it." She felt a shudder at the thought of dealing with him again. "Thank you for playing along."  
  
"I am afraid this is partially my fault," he said.  
  
She looked at him questioningly.  
  
"You are, after all, sharing a home with me."  
  
It took a moment for it to sink in. Ah yes, a gal's reputation was a big deal in this age. She nearly laughed at the thought, but held it back. It wasn't something to be taken lightly. "The rumors will die down. I'd rather these rumors than for anyone to think I had a part in the plot that destroyed the Chantry."  
  
"Accompanying me to dinner will only add to the gossip." Though the look on his face showed he wasn't sorry about where the thoughts of others had drifted.  
  
She was thankful for the sunset, at least she could hide the flush in her cheeks in the colors of the setting sun.  
  
He offered his arm with a smile. "Shall we?"  
  
Cara hesitated a moment and then slipped her arm around his. "Of course, thank you, Solas."  
  
He opened the door and stood there a moment. The voices began to quiet and many faces turned to see who was entering. He took her hand and guided her in front of him. The arm she had held was now behind her, his hand lightly against her lower back. It was only for show, she told herself. That his touch sent her heart racing was something she would have to ignore. As they moved inside people turned back to their food and drink and the voices started up again.  
  
"Here she is, the newest member of the team!" Varric cheered.

She smiled and greeted everyone. It all was unreal. This life was a gift. She should be dead, she wasn't going to waste a minute of it. Solas held the chair to the left of Mia out for her. Then he moved around the table and sat across from her next to Varric.  
  
They, of course, asked questions. Mostly about how she ended up outside of Redcliff, and what did she know about her attackers?  
  
"The last thing I remember was falling, there was a strange green light and then nothing until I woke this morning."  
  
"Where are you from? You don't have the Dalish tattoos or whatever they call them," Varric asked.  
  
"I'm not Dalish, so no clan for me. I don't remember where I am from. It's been just Remus and I for the last few months. My family is gone." It wasn't exactly a lie. They traded stories around the table as they ate and drank. Thankfully, no one asked more questions about her past. Merely mentioning losing her family and home was enough to deter them from more prying.  
  
Varric insisted she learn to play Wicked Grace. It's an odd game, similar to poker, but the game can last an unknown round of hands due to the Angel of Death card. It took her a while to remember what the cards represented. Thankfully, they weren't playing for money. Varric likes to chat while he plays and he's interested in stories from everyone. Cara loved listening to his tales, and encouraged them. Especially those about a certain broody elf.  
  
She didn't miss the slight nod and eye contact between Cullen and Solas when Solas excused himself. Her guard had changed so she could stay and enjoy the game. Cara couldn't decide if she was getting the hang of the game or not, but in all honesty she wasn't ready to return to the cabin and Solas.  
  
Everyone took turns ordering the table a round of drinks. From brandy to Meade, she tried more new drinks than she could name. The last thing handed her was a mug of something, what she wasn't sure, but it wasn't bad. Like an Ale but stronger. It was certainly easier to drink than shots of Jaeger or Tequila. Neither of which was available, of course.  
  
Finally, she said good night and stood. Her head swam. She wasn't exactly a light weight, and thought she had paced the drinks enough for some of it to work out of her system. Thedas alcohol was much stronger than she was used to. Her companions shared a few laughs at her expense. Someone reached for her elbow, but she waved them off. She took two steps and felt the room spin, and found herself sitting in Cullen's lap when she stumbled.  
  
"Sorry Commander."

She felt herself being lifted up and looked into Maxwell's eyes.  
  
"I'll see Lady Carina home," he said.  
  
Alarm bells went off. She was about to protest.  
  
"No need to put yourself out, Lord Trevelyan. It's on my way," Cullen said. His hands were on her shoulders and she leaned back against him.  
  
"Thank you, Commander," she murmured. "Good night, Lord Trevelyan." She politely dismissed him and held her breath until he walked out the left side door.  
  
Cullen guided her outside. The cool night air did little to clear her head.  
  
"Are you alright?" He looked at her intently.  
  
"I guess some of that stuff was stronger than I thought," she said.  
  
"That isn't what I meant." He voice was gruff.  
  
She let out a sigh and said, "Lord Trevelyan didn't like my refusal of his escort and protection earlier. Solas happened to appear at just the right time to make it look as if I'd already made plans."  
  
"I see." His jaw twitched in anger and she could see the thoughts running round his brain.  
  
"Don't do anything rash, Cullen. Lord Trevelyan is used to elves acting a certain way. To deny him is an affront to his title and his manhood. I know how to protect myself, I just don't want to make an enemy out of the Herald's brother."  
  
He rubbed the back of his neck. "No, that wouldn't be wise for any of us. I will talk to Varric and Leliana. We will make sure of your safety here in Haven."  
  
"Thanks, Cullen." He helped her up the stairs. Anyone watching would find it a comical scene. She could barely stand, and by the time they reached Solas' cabin both were laughing. The drinks had fully caught up with her and she was a stumbling, dizzy, hysterical mess.  
  
Solas was at his desk, book in his lap, ink stains on his fingers from writing. From the look on his face he was not at all pleased by the noise they made.  
  
"Commander Cullen was most kind in escorting me home," she slurred and then giggled.  
  
"Thank you, Commander. I will handle it from here," he said slapping the book shut. His tone was curt, and she winced at it. Solas took her arm and led her to the chair.  
  
"You're so cute when you're angry."  
  
He made a sound of distaste she could only  describe as a growl, which sent her into a fit of giggling again.  
  
"She's going to have a hell of a hangover in the morning," Cullen said laughing on his way out the door.  
  
"Naw, I don't get hangovers."  
  
Solas tisked at her. "How much did you drink after I left? You seemed fine when I left half an hour ago."  
  
"I guess they were stronger than I thought. Sorry to be a burden."  
  
He was unbuckling her boots, and she leaned down to help. Her forehead collided with his.  
  
"Owe!"  
  
He pushed her up against the back of the chair and his stern expression sent her into another round of laughter, while she rubbed her head.  
  
"There is a clean sleeping gown behind the screen if you think you can manage on your own," he said once her laughter died down.  
  
All she needed to do was get to the screen without falling over, but the room was spinning too much to stand. She leaned forward, head in her hands and groaned. "I can't. I can't even stand right now," she said quietly. "I'll just stay right here until I can see straight, then I'll change for bed."  
  
If she stayed, she would pass out in the chair. Instead of leaving her there he carried her to the bed. She clung to him her face against his neck, breathing in his scent. He smelled of citrus, herbs, and cedar, with a hint of musk. She hummed in pleasure of it against his throat and heard his heartbeat speed up. Her own matched the speed of his. He set her on the bed, unwrapping her arms from his neck as he straightened.  
  
"You aren't going to be sick are you?" he asked.  
  
She shook her head, she wasn't that drunk. Warm hands hands slid her shirt up and over her head. She crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to be modest and the gown slipped over her. She worked her arms through the sleeves as he pulled her to her feet. She gripped the front of his shirt to steady herself and felt her breeches slip off her hips. The brush of his fingers was warm against her skin. Their eyes met. Her heart was in her throat. His hands stayed at her hips and she felt a jolt of pleasure at his touch. She leaned into him and raised up on tip toes to kiss him but he pushed her down to sit on the bed.  
  
"You're drunk, my dear," his tone was sharp.  
  
She sighed, a little disappointed. For just a moment he had moved closer, and for one short second she thought he would let her kiss him. What made her so impulsive? She could blame the drink, but hated using it as an excuse. Alcohol doesn't make a person behave badly, it can't change a person's character. To say she did it because she was drunk was a lame excuse. She was an emotional mess from landing in a fictitious world, with a character she was already intrigued by, was a more reasonable explanation. To her he wasn't a stranger. Somewhere in the haze it dawned on her that there was only one bed in his cottage. The bed he was tucking her into.  
  
"I don't want to kick you out of your own bed."  
  
"You haven't."  
  
She probably should have protested, but was too tired or too drunk to care.

* * *

She wasn't sure how long she wandered the Fade before realizing she was dreaming. The place was unfamiliar to her, but most of her dreams were always hazy in the beginning. Sometimes she would let them wander, other times she would try to guide them. Often she failed, but she always tried.  
  
She smiled at the wisp as it buzzed nearby. "Hello." She could feel its excitement. "Did you want to show me something?"  
  
It jumped, danced, and then raced off. She followed and soon found herself in a quiet meadow outside a simple cottage. She could feel the influence of a powerful spirit near.  
  
"I'm not certain it is wise to intrude, little one." It seemed to dim at her comment, sad she didn't want to see more of what it wanted to share.  
  
"But this is a private home, it is impolite to visit without an invitation. Perhaps, in time I will meet this spirit, but tonight it feels like it is busy." It buzzed from side to side, it wasn't happy.  
  
"What if I showed you something?" she asked and it brightened. They walked back to where the wisp found her.  
  
She closed her eyes and thought of home. The river that flowed near the ranch, and the streams fed from it. The fence line damaged from the flood. The partial receding flood waters, and the snow still covering the ground in the morning shade. She rode up on Scout, a black and white paint. It all unfolded before them. She could even smell the pines, the wild flowers, and felt the moisture in the air.  
  
Near the fence was a wet mass of fur. She slid from Scout and stepped to it.  
  
"It's a wolf pup. Poor thing must have washed down river."

Scout snorted and stepped closer and nosed the mound of fur. It opened its eyes, blue as a Montana sky, and her heart melted.  
  
"Not drowned, but half froze." Despite the morning chill she removed her jacket and pulled the sweater over her head. Then slipped the coat back on. Cara wrapped the pup in the soft wool sweater and rubbed his fur, both drying him and getting the blood flowing again.  
  
He wiggled at her rough hands, and whined about the confinement, but he was too weak to fight. "You can't be more than three months old, barely old enough to be out of your den. Where is your mamma?" There hadn't been any wolves sighted near the ranch, but a pack might have moved through. The ranch was only a few hours north east of Yellowstone. Scout nudged her shoulder.  
  
"You're right we can't leave him here. He'll starve or freeze." She went to the saddle bags and pulled her lunch out. Usually she brought sandwiches and fruit, but she had left over chicken noodle soup she had made two days ago. She poured mostly broth into the lid and set it near him. He was too weak to raise his head. She pulled out the hunk of bread, dipped a piece of it in the warm broth, and then slipped it past his teeth. He protested the first bite until the taste hit his tongue and then he eagerly waited for more. Once he finished the broth, she gave him the chicken and noodles. He ate it all greedily.  
  
"Goodness, you were hungry weren't you? You've eaten all my lunch." A thermos of coffee was all she had left and his ears perked up thinking there was more. "Well, you don't get my coffee you greedy boy!" She filled the lid and drank a cup, saving the rest for later. She still had the fence to fix. The pup curled up on her discarded sweater next to Scout and fell asleep.  
  
"Well Scout, watch over him I have a fence to fix." She grabbed a cotton shirt out of a saddlebag and removed her coat.  
  
"Few would tend a wolf pup, let alone share their food."  
  
She jumped and nearly screamed at the intrusion.  
  
"Shit! Where did you come from?" She felt the flush of heat over her chest and face. The last part of her memory had her standing there without a shirt in a lacy bra. She should have known if she dreamed of wolves in the Fade it would call the Dread Wolf himself. She quickly banished the scene. There were risks to recalling things from her life on Earth. Cara hoped he hadn't noticed the differences in clothing and gear.  
  
"I felt you walking through the Fade and followed. It can be very dangerous interacting with spirits."  
  
"Of course, once again I need a protector." He frowned. "Ir abelas, I didn't mean to offend. It's been a long time since someone cared about my well-being without an ulterior motive."  
  
This seemed to appease him. "You have been alone a long time then?"  
  
"Well, not really alone, just the only one old enough to be in charge. There was my daughter, but she is gone." Her voice cracked slightly. "As for the wolf pup. I figured a life with me was better than leaving him to die."  
  
"So you are remembering more?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, a little more seems to untangle itself, though not anything really useful. This was mainly for the wisp here. It took me to a cottage and was upset that I didn't knock on the door. I offered a memory to cheer it." The wisp buzzed around then darted off.  
  
"Why not knock on the door?" he asked.  
  
"I felt a strong presence. I am certain a spirit has made their home there and it would have been rude to simply drop by without being invited. I didn't want to intrude."  
  
"Few would have thought of the spirit's comfort, more I suspect would have fled in fear."  
  
"It didn't 'feel' threatening, simply strong." She wasn't sure what to think of the way he was looking at her, but knew she needed to put distance between them.  
  
"I think I've had enough of the Fade for one night."  
  
"I am afraid I cannot let you leave just yet. This is the safest place for us to talk." A smug look on his face.  
  
"You can't let me leave? I see you have decided to really take the jailer persona seriously." Her voice was laced with a bit of snark. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him defiantly. "Fine, you wish to talk, then talk."  
  
"Your memory creates many questions. Few have the ability to manipulate the Fade in such a way. You have not been truthful in what you remember," he said.  
  
"I have told no lies."  
  
"By omission then. You speak in half-truths."  
  
"Something you know all too well. Tell me, Solas, how many omissions or half-truths have secured your place within the Inquisition?"  
  
His eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"My visions and flashbacks, not a lie. That I have no memory of traveling to Redcliffe, not a lie. The memories I see 'feel' like mine, but they are memories of a different life. So forgive me if I choose to keep those things to myself until I make sense of them." She turned away from him then to hide the tears as she blinked them away.  
  
"They frighten you, these visions, and the memories." It wasn't a question but she felt the need to answer.  
  
"Yes." She wanted to be angry, but his statement simply made her feel small and alone, and her voice reflected those emotions. "Because to accept them as truth changes everything."  
  
He sighed audibly and she turned to look at him.  
  
"Are we done here?" He nodded and she felt a shift of energy in the air around her. "Thank you."

* * *

She woke to find him next to her on the bed still asleep. She had bought herself some time, but eventually would have to tell him. She turned away from him, putting more distance between them. Certain she would lay awake, but the events of the day and the Fade had taken its toll and she was soon asleep again.


	8. Into the West

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they are out of Haven. Some references to hunting are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edits made on 5-8-16 : Rewritten into Third person POV. Also cleaned up through weeding of unnecessary extra words. No major changes in events or plot.

Cara was up early, slipped from the bed and quickly dressed. Solas still slept and she wanted to be ready before he woke. The first lights of dawn had just begun to show over the mountain in the east. Haven was just coming awake. Footsteps and the clink of chain mail announced soldiers doing laps around the edge of town. She’d slept in, but otherwise felt great. No hangover was a plus considering her indulgence the night before. Remus went to the door as she grabbed her coat and quickly wrapped the sash. Before touching the door she remembered the energy shifts the day before and sent out her aura to test it. Sure enough there was a ward in place.  
  
She could wake Solas but decided to attempt to disarm it. It wasn’t a ward that would cause any harm, simply one that would have created a noise of some sort if triggered. Cara wasn’t familiar with wards in general, and had no clue of how to disarm it.  
  
“Sorry, the door is locked and our magical friend is the only one who can unlock it.” Remus huffed at her. “You want out, you wake him up.” She went about cleaning up the cabin. It wasn’t a hard task and it was finished sooner than expected.  
  
Josie had sent over a number of items which including some large pieces of fabric, along with a small sewing kit and matching thread. One of them was a thin pale purple cotton, meant for a dress, the other was a heavier cream colored linen and it was perfect to make a gi. She quickly set it out and traced a pattern, using the dagger Harritt had let her keep, to cut it out.  
  
Gathering the thread, needle and fabric she moved Solas’ chair closer to the fire. It took just over an hour to finish and Solas still slept. He evidently wasn’t a morning person.  
  
She changed and was pleased that it fit. She found an undershirt and put it on with the pants, leaving the tunic. If she was going to wait she could at least get a workout in. Remus moved over near the fire and went back to sleep.  
  
She moved to the middle of the room and started a yoga routine that normally took an hour. Solas woke as she began Sun Salutations. Remus let out a quiet woof. She heard Solas step into his breeches and move across the room. Not willing to abandon the routine, she moved into a high plank, and then into upward facing dog and then rolled into downward dog to begin the series the third time.  
  
“You wobbled on that last move.”  
  
Great so he’s a yoga expert as well. She ignored him and continued. Once finished with a third Sun Salutation she moved into upward dog and then began the camel pose. When she was sufficiently stretched she continued into three more steps. Stretching her arms out behind her with her head in line with her heels she held for five breaths. Then curved back more until her hands were flat on the floor.  
  
“Your flexibility is impressive.” His tone reminded her of his subtle flirts with Lavellan but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him. Getting her heart broke in a game was hard enough thanks. She wasn’t going to fall for Mr. Smooth so easily.  
  
“For one who supposedly knows so much, you’ve failed to grasp the focus required aspect. Your assessment of my performance can wait until I’m finished.”  
  
She held another two breaths to account for his interruption and then walked her left hand to her heel, and then her right, pulled her elbows to the floor and rested her forehead on the backs of her feet. Moving from camel to pigeon in just a few moves. She thought she heard a sharp intake of breath from Solas, but she was trying hard not to focus on him. After five breaths she reversed the steps and then countered with child’s pose.  
  
Thankfully he stayed silent through the rest and soon she was resting in corpse position. Remus was the one to break the silence by whining at the door. Cara sat up, her back still to Solas and motioned at it. “You have it warded to create an alarm. I didn’t know how to disarm it without setting it off.”  
  
“Had you been in a better state of mind I would have shown you last night,” he said.  
  
She shrugged. “Didn’t bother me. I was quite productive this morning.”  
  
“So I see. Feeling no ill effects from your over indulgence?” He’s tone was disapproving. She wasn’t sure if he was upset that she had drank so much or that she wasn’t hungover.  
  
“My, my aren’t you pissy in the morning.” She goaded and nearly laughed at the snort he made. She gave him an impish smile. “I feel perfectly fine. It’s not the first time I’ve over indulged, I’m sure it won’t be the last. If you’d be so kind as to see to the ward I will change and we will be out of your hair.” Cara grinned at his disgusted look. “Ah, touchy as well as pissy.” She turned away before giving into the urge to let her eyes wander over his bare chest and stepped behind the screen to quickly get changed.  
  
“Would you like fresh juice or cider? I thought I’d get breakfast for us on my way back from his walk,” she said as she stepped around the screen.  
  
He was standing near the bed reaching for his shirt and her heart skipped a beat as the muscles in his back moved. He was very fit for a mage.  
  
“I will go with you. Perhaps the fresh air will improve my mood,” he said.  
  
“I thought after last night the idea was to quell the rumors of the two of us. Escorting me around Haven isn’t going to do that.”  
  
“After the incident with Lord Trevelyan, I would prefer you not go anywhere alone.”  
  
“I will have Remus with me, and Commander Cullen was going to discuss the incident with Leliana and Varric. I’m sure you have more important things to do than to babysit a grown woman.”

His expression told her arguing was pointless.

* * *

“Good morning, Cara. I’ve been looking for you,” Mia said as she stepped out of Leliana’s tent. “Good morning, Solas. I need to speak with Cara for a moment, would you please excuse us?”  
  
“Of course, Herald. Carina, I will leave Remus with you.” He turned back toward the cabin but did not go inside, instead he stood and watched the Breach.  
  
“I wanted to talk to you about my brother,” she said.  
  
Cara felt as if ice had hit her veins. “What about Lord Trevelyan?”  
  
“Lord Ass is more appropriate. He can’t seem to help it.”  
  
“I really couldn’t say.”  
  
“Oh, you are smooth.” She smiled. “It’s alright. I have heard from a little bird that he’s been less than a gentleman toward a few of our elf friends. Feel free to bloody his nose, I certainly do.”  
  
Cara couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “I know I can defend myself, I would just prefer a more diplomatic solution. He is, after all, your brother and we are allies. I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”  
  
“Then simply tell him he’s being insufferable. He’s lived too long thinking he’s entitled because he’s the oldest, but he’s really not a bad person. He does take no for an answer. It’s my fault really, we had an argument before dinner and he doesn’t handle losing to me well. He was looking for someone to --- well, I'm sure you understand.”  
  
Cara chuckled at her last comment. “My brother didn’t like losing to me either. He either sulked or picked a fight with someone else.”  
  
Mia nodded in agreement. “Would you mind meeting me at the training yard in an hour? Having someone to spar with that challenges my style is something I’d like to take advantage of. Maybe I’ll even learn a few things.”  
  
“I’d be happy to.”

* * *

Cara found the next few days very busy. Solas had shown her how to disarm the ward he placed on his door. She was up and gone long before he awoke. Cara returned to share breakfast with him and then would be gone the rest of the day. There was an urgency to her sparring, but she wasn’t the only one. Mia was glad to finally have a sparring partner that challenged her. Cara needed to know she was fully recovered, and could handle the battles to come. The two fighters were evenly matched and Mia learned some of Cara's moves quickly. A rogue should know how to read a fight and adapt quickly, and Mia was good at it.  
  
Cara quickly fell back into her normal sleep routine, late to bed early to rise and even though she fell asleep curled up with Remus before the fireplace long after Solas was a sleep, she found herself in the bed each morning. She was grateful when she could move her things to a new cabin. Continuing to share a place with Solas was a bad idea. Cara needed distance and perspective, something that was hard to find waking up near him each morning. There were no more meetings in the Fade or the impulse to kiss him, mainly because she avoided being alone with him for long.  
  
They were soon heading for the Storm Coast to meet up with The Bull’s Chargers and The Iron Bull. After traveling most of the day they still hadn’t rounded the top of Lake Calenhad. When they set up camp, there were three tents and six of companions, not including the wolf.  
  
“Mages sleep together,” Varric quipped.  
  
Cara gave him a narrowed look and he just shrugged.  
  
“I asked for four. Who was in charge of tents?” Mia asked. Everyone shrugged. No one on the team had checked the supplies to make sure. “I didn’t look through the stuff, the list said four so I assumed four, sorry.”

Cara had hoped to avoid sharing a tent with Solas, but she’d shared a cabin, and a bed, with him for nearly a week. Sharing a tent wasn’t any different.  
  
She grabbed her bow and whistled to Remus as she walked out of camp. Some time alone to settle her nerves before sleeping was what she needed.  
  
“Just where are you going?” Mia asked.  
  
“Hunting. You want dinner don’t you?”  
  
“Not alone you aren’t, we don’t know who or what might be in this area,” Mia said. “Everyone sticks to pairs outside of camp.”  
  
“I’m not alone, I have Remus, and in case you haven’t noticed he’s damn near the biggest thing out here.”  
  
“Solas, please go with her,” she said.  
  
Her heart pounded in her chest. She wanted time alone. At the very least she wanted time away from Solas. Cara hoped he would hesitate, act as if he wasn’t thrilled with the idea so one of the others would offer to join her but grabbed his staff and stood. She started to say he could go alone, but he must have sensed this.  
  
As he walked past her he whispered, “Coward.”  
  
She swallowed back a growl but still gave his back a narrowed look and followed him out of camp.

Cassandra had a dreamy smile on her face.

 _‘Et tu, Brute?’_ she thought.  
  
Cara kept track of landmarks and rock features. They were between the edge of the Frostback Mountains and Lake Calenhad, but well away from the Imperial Highway. Solas seemed to wander aimlessly as if he was intentionally trying to get her lost, but she was confident she could find her way back to camp.  
  
He waited until they were well away from camp before he stopped. “Is there a reason you have avoided me?” he asked. His voice held a note of concern.  
  
She had hoped sharing breakfast each morning made avoiding him look unintentional. “ _Ir abelas_ , Solas. I am not used to sharing a home with anyone. Especially a man, I like my space.”  
  
“The last time we spoke at any length was in the Fade, and it did not end well,” he said.  
  
“I would rather not discuss it. No, that sounded harsher than I meant it.” She shook her head and sighed. “What I mean is --- you don’t need to apologize, I don’t intend to.”  
  
A slight nod from him and the matter was put to rest. For now. If given the chance to interrogate her he would.  
  
A  howl from Remus returned them to the hunt. The wolf had found dinner. Cara found a boulder that would give her a good view while hiding her. It was not a large boulder but the top of it was slightly wider than one person. She thought it narrow enough to deter Solas from joining. As he slipped beside her she moved to slide over and give him room but his arm slipped around her waist, preventing her from moving away.  
  
“Solas…” Her heart was pounding in her throat at his body pressed against her side.  
  
“Shh, you’ll give away your position,” he said with a smirk.  
  
Cara gritted her teeth, took a deep breath and readied the bow. A ram burst through the trees in a direct line toward them, but Cara needed it to cross their path to get a clean shot. She howled and the ram altered course, Remus howled behind it preventing it from returning the way it came. She pulled lightly on the string,  and became one with the bow as she kept the ram in her sights, waiting for the perfect shot. As soon as it came back into view she let the arrow fly and the ram dropped immediately.  
  
“Impressive marksmanship. Hitting a stationary target is one thing, such accuracy with a moving target is another.”  
  
With her focus was no longer on the ram, she felt his breath against her ear and the heat of his hand on her hip and his arm across the small of her back. Not to mention that he was stretched against her side. She breathed in his scent and felt her heart skip a beat. She looked to her left and rolled away from him, landing in a crouch on the ground. Standing she took a deep breath and willed the butterflies in her stomach to quiet. She cursed in her head, _'it’s my own damn fault'_. She had tried to kiss him a week ago.  
  
“Years of practice, I’d better be good at it. I just wish arrows were more effective against bears,” she said and shuddered. There were plenty of bears in the Storm Coast and the Hinterlands. She was not looking forward to fighting one again. She crossed quickly to the ram to make sure it didn’t suffer, but her aim had been true, it had died almost instantly.  
  
Cara gave out a yip mimicking Remus’ and he crashed through the trees. The signal it was safe for him to approach. She pulled the arrow from the ram and wiped it in the tall grass.  
  
“Impressive how the two of you hunt together, you mimic pack behavior,” he said.  
  
“As close as one can I suppose? The two of us are a pack. It’s easier than when he was a pup. I actually had to chase prey to show him how. Occasionally I have to remind him that I am his alpha. When he decides I no longer am, he will seek a new pack or start his own.”  
  
“Many would shape the wolf to suit them and pen a wandering hound. I am impressed that you did not.”  
  
Remus caught up to them and she patted him on the head. “Well done! He is not mine to control, he is family, a child I suppose. We hunt so he remembers who he is. If he chooses to leave I will not stop him no matter how much it will break my heart.”  
  
“He is very patient as well.”  
  
“Yes, he will wait for his portion. Alpha gets first choice, just like the wild,” she said with a grin. “But he knows he will be rewarded.” Cara quickly field dressed the ram at the stream nearby. Remus getting some of his choice pieces no one else would want. Solas handed her his staff and lifted the ram to his shoulders. He made it look effortless and she couldn't help but think it was sexy. She scanned the horizon finding her landmark and headed back to camp. It took far less to return. The elf had weaved and even circled places after we left camp.  
  
“Did you think I would get lost so easily? I’ve learned how to get from point A to point B.” She stopped at the outskirts, the exact spot they had left camp. “See, there is where you stepped too close to a mushroom. And there is where you put your weight on your staff.” The mushroom was bent over, but not broken.  
  
“Are you certain it wasn’t you who stepped there?” He had a smile on his face.  
  
Cara took his staff and lifted a leaf from the ground. “There is my step, under the foliage rather than crush it. Old age isn’t catching up to you is it?” She was rewarded with another smile and warm laughter. She may not be familiar with Thedas, but she had spent most of her life on a ranch. She knew how to walk through a forest and leave no trace if needed, or how to track game over most terrains.  
  
Remus followed Solas as he took the ram out beyond the edge of camp to prepare it while Cara set up the spit over the fire Mia and Varric had made.  
  
“So, what is the plan for tomorrow? I hear the Storm Coast is rather wet,” Cara asked Mia.  
  
“I know and I hate the rain. I hate fighting in it, walking in it, everything!” she grumbled.  
  
“I don’t mind it as long as it’s not too cold, though after a few hours being soaked to the bone is tedious.” Cara knew her armor was cold resistant, she noticed the difference when she first put it on, but doubted it was water resistant. At least her silly hat and added cowl would keep most of the water off of her hair and from running down her neck. She wondered how Solas would stay dry. Probably with magic. She called on her own magic like she had when she thought to warm my arms in Haven a week ago and felt a faint heat cover her.  
  
“What are you doing Cara?” She had sensed her aura.  
  
“Simply was warming myself against the night air. It’s a handy little spell, but I don’t know how to share it without contact.” She was going to look really foolish if she caught herself on fire.  
  
“Well I guess you will be warm on the Storm Coast. If I get cold I’m holding your hand.” Mia said with a grin.  
  
“Hard to fight holding hands,” she teased. “You’ll just have to have Harritt enchant your armor for you.”  
  
Maxwell made a comment that riled Mia and the two of them began to argue. He and Cara had come to an understanding of sorts. He had apologized for his behavior and she promised not to gut him like a fish as long as he didn’t do it again. Not really, but she had thought it.  
  
Their teasing barbs back and forth reminded her of her own brother. Cara smiled at their banter, but was soon lost in thought. Tomorrow would be in her first real combat setting. She had trained herself to duck and dodge, sneak in and slip back out while dealing as much damage as she could. At least, she hoped that was how it went when she saw her first fight. Hunting for food was one thing. She had never actually hurt a person before. Blows were pulled and weapons were meant for show only. Tomorrow would decide if she could do this or not. Fighting in a tournament and knocking an opponent out of the ring was child’s play compared to what she would have to do. At least she knew what they were facing. Though maybe the knowing added to her anxiety. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.  
  
Solas knelt beside her bringing her thoughts to the present. She started roasting the meat and smiled at the front quarter he had given Remus. Cara tried and failed to focus on something other than Solas. He was too close. Close enough for his scent to hit her senses again.  
  
Her heart sped up a beat. The twitch at the corner of his mouth told her he sensed the change. It was entirely unfair that he seemed so unfazed. She knew that wasn’t completely true. If this was how he behaved around an Inquisitor Lavellan no wonder she fell for him.  
  
“I think he’s had his fill,” he said. The wolf certainly looked content. He was simply enjoying chewing on the shoulder he held between his massive paws.  
  
“He’s a glutton, he’ll eat half a ram if you’d let him,” Cara said, thankful to have something neutral to talk about. Remus raised his head and huffed at her. “It’s true you greedy boy. But you earned this one so I won’t complain.” He growled softly and went back to his bone.  
  
The camp laughed at them.  
  
“So Cara, do you know any stories? You haven’t told any yet, so I’m just curious,” Varric said. “I know you said some of your memories were returning.”  
  
“What no nickname?” she asked.  
  
“Not yet, I’m still deciding. It took me two weeks to give Rosie her nickname so I’ve still got time,” he said with a grin.  
  
“Hmm well I don’t remember any stories. At least not enough of one to give it a proper telling. I’ve been remembering more details, but they don’t all make sense. I could share a song if you’d like?”  
  
“A song! That would be lovely,” Mia said. There were agreements from the others.

 

_Into the West_

_Lay down_

_Your sweet and weary head_

_Night is falling_

_You’ve come to journey's end_

_Sleep now_

_And dream of the ones who came before_

_They are calling_

_From across the distant shore_

_Why do you weep?_

_What are these tears upon your face?_

_Soon you will see_

_All of your fears will pass away_

_Safe in my arms_

_You're only sleeping_

_[Chorus]_

_What can you see_

_On the horizon?_

_Why do the white gulls call?_

_Across the sea_

_A pale moon rises_

_The ships have come to carry you home_

_And all will turn_

_To silver glass_

_A light on the water_

_All souls pass_

_Hope fades_

_Into the world of night_

_Through shadows falling_

_Out of memory and time_

_Don't say_

_We have come now to the end_

_White shores are calling_

_You and I will meet again_

_And you'll be here in my arms_

_Just sleeping_

_[Chorus]_

_And all will turn_

_To silver glass_

_A light on the water_

_Grey ships pass_

_Into the West_

Writer(s): Howard Leslie Shore, Frances Rosemary Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Howard Shore, Annie Lennox  
Copyright: La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., New Line Tunes, South Fifth Avenue Publ, La Lennoxa Ltd.

 

Everyone was silent when the song ended and Cara felt embarrassed all of a sudden.

Mia broke the silence. “That was --- beautiful and touching. Truly. Was it written about elves?”

“It could have been, but I’m not sure.” Cara thought how stupid it was to sing it, it was about elves, but not Thedas elves.

“You have a beautiful voice,” Cassandra said. “Thank you for the song. It was very touching, as the Herald said.”

Varric and Maxwell said much the same thing.

“Thank you, maybe I will remember more songs in the future.” Cara looked over at Solas and saw a slight smile on his face and a faraway look in his eye as he gazed into the fire. He didn’t look up or speak, lost in his own thoughts. Part of her was disappointed, but if her song had made him remember something pleasant from his past she would count it a success.

Cara slipped into the dark tent and out of her armor and clothing. She sighed when she removed the breast band. It was uncomfortable, and really did little for support, but the thin silk shirt didn’t cover well enough to not wear one as well as a thin chemise. She was almost asleep when Solas entered the tent.

She kept her eyes turned away, even though she wanted to turn when she heard him removing his armor and clothes. He’d conjured a wisp for a light that cast a blue, ethereal glow, about the tent. She pretended to be asleep, but should have known he knew she wasn’t.

“Forgive me, I wanted to tell you how lovely your song was, but could not find the words,” he said. “Perhaps you will sing it again sometime.”

“You speechless? I’m surprised.” She turned to him and it was her turn to be speechless. He was leaned up in his bedroll, propped on his elbow with his chest bare and for a moment all she could think of was how his muscles would feel under her hands. He smirked at her hesitation. “I am flattered that my song had such an effect.”

Cara tried to hold back the yawn but couldn’t. “Mmmm, forgive me, it’s been a long day. _Atisha somniaren_ , Solas.”

“You as well, Carina,” he said letting the wisp of light back into the Fade.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Atisha somniaren: Peaceful dreams.  
> Atisha = peace or peaceful  
> somniar = dream  
> –en: suffix indicating plural  
> (Elven language-Dragon Age Wiki)
> 
> I think it's time to speed things up, but didn't want to just jump to the Storm Coast. Next chapter sees our OC in her first battle, as they help the Chargers fight Venatori.


	9. The Storm Coast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our group is heading to the Storm Coast to meet up with Iron Bull. The OC faces the reality of war, and finds ways to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-19-16 Minor edits to chapter to correct grammar and clean up sentences. Also rewritten into Third Person POV

The relentless rain of the Storm Coast soaked through everything. Only enchantments placed on armor, offered protection from the cold threatening to seep into their bones. Not even Solas was able to stay dry. The small group looked and felt like wet rats trudging through the forest toward the base camp.

Scout Harding was able to give them Iron Bull's location, but little else. What scouts and soldiers had been sent ahead were missing, and all efforts to find them thwarted by bandits.

Mia sighed and promised to search for them after meeting with Iron Bull. The group moved on toward the coastline. The rocky shores were littered with boats and debris. The waves crashed angrily on the beach, sending sprays of icy salt water to mix with the rain. At the nearby sound of fighting, Mia called the group to a halt. Mia went into stealth to sneak over and make sure this was the group they were meeting before getting in the middle of a skirmish.

"Well shit," Varric said.

"Does she do this often?" Maxwell asked.

"She does," Solas, Cassandra, and Varric all said.

Cara could hear the irritation in their voices.

"I fail to see why this is an issue. Varric does the same thing!" Mia said.

"Because I don't sneak off from the group and charge into battle before anyone realizes I'm gone!"

"Well, I haven't yet. I'm going to sneak ahead. I'll be back in a few moments with a report."

Cara chuckled at their banter.

"You could sneak over with me," she offered.

Cara felt her blood run cold, Mia and Cassandra were the only ones who knew sparring was the most action she'd seen.

"Naw, I'll just stay right here. I'm not exactly eager to engage in my first battle."

The look on their faces would have been comical under different circumstances.

"I know how you feel. The day I woke in Haven and had to fight my way to the Breach was the scariest day of my life. I can't say I feel better about any of it, but somehow you learn to separate yourself from it," Mia said sadly.

"I did not just hear you say you have never seen a battle," Solas said.

"The worse thing I've done is bloody a nose."

Three men cursed under their breath.

"My thoughts exactly," Cara said.

"Remember your training and you will do well, Carina," Cassandra offered comfort and encouragement.

She was humbled by the thought of taking a life for the first time. Hunting to provide food was one thing taking a person's life was another. Her skills had been to give her a sense of control over her life, that she could protect her daughter and herself, but she never had to put them into practical use. There was no need for such measures. The worst that had happened was a friend was nearly beaten to death after he hit on the wrong guy in a bar. Cara had felt guilty for so long that she'd not been there to protect him. But he had sent her on her way home, staying behind alone.

Mia soon returned and pulled her from her thoughts. "This is the group. They had it under control until more came in from the east. I'll take out the archer closest to us, you guys know the routine. Cara, you'll be fine, just stick close to Solas."

This was it. Mia took out one of the archers nearest them and Varric slipped into his place. Solas next to him and Cara moved next to Solas. She cast ice and the occasional electricity but mainly shot arrows at Tevinter spellbinders.

Mia and Cassandra worked as a team, Mia distracted while Cassandra cut them down.

Cara was rushed by a warrior with a shield. She dropped the bow and grabbed her daggers. Spun to the left and got behind him, as he reached her and sunk a blade through his armpit. He roared in pain and dropped his shield. As he whirled to strike, she slit his throat with the other dagger. Cara flinched when the severed artery spurted as he fell spraying her with thick hot blood. The coppery metallic smell filled her nostrils and she looked down at him in horror, a gurgle in his throat as he died.

She had killed a man, brutally killed him. It had taken seconds to plunge her dagger deep under his arm and yet at the time, it was as if it was all in slow motion. She saw him coming and saw what action would defeat him. She felt no pleasure in it. She attempted to take a breath but the smell and taste of blood choked her. She felt the panic claw at her throat and tried to scream but nothing came out.

"It is over, Carina." She heard his voice soft and quiet behind her, and turned and sagged against him. It was either cry or completely breakdown.

His arm came around her and he led her to a fallen tree. "You fought well," he said.

As if those words made killing someone all right. She snorted. "Fought well? I damn near had a panic attack!"

"You did not hesitate to do what must be done. Considering what I know of you, I would be more worried if it had not affected you at all," he said. He sent a wave of magic over her. "Are you injured?"

She was a fright, blood ran off her with the rain. "No, none of it is mine." She shuddered again at the memory of the blood spraying out from his throat with the final beats of his heart. The fear that she saw in his eyes through his helm. "Does it get easier?"

He sighed. "Yes and no. Only you can find what you need to separate from yourself so it does not consume you. Some deaths will stay with you no matter what." He sounded sad as he spoke. Cara knew there were many deaths he was responsible for. She tightened an arm around his waist for his sake, not hers.

Varric brought over her hat. In the commotion, she hadn't even noticed it missing. It was a muddy, bloody, mess. "I think I'll just burn that, but thanks, Varric."

"You still managed to take out more than I did," he said.

Cara almost laughed that he had kept score, and appreciated his attempt to make her feel better. She knew he didn't enjoy what had to be done either.

"Are you going to be alright?" Maxwell asked when he joined them. He handed her a clean cloth.

The front of Solas' shirt was smeared with blood and she knew it came from her. He'd managed to stay out of the melee fighting. She took the cloth from Max and wiped it over her face and neck. Then he handed over the daggers and bow she had dropped.

Her behavior shamed her. All of them were seasoned warriors, most of them younger than she was and she was the one crying like a child. "Thanks. I will be. It was one thing taking someone down with a bow. But having him dying with my blade still through his chest was a bit too real." She turned back to Solas and squeezed the hand he had on her knee. "Thank you."

He squeezed back and nodded.

* * *

Knowing Cara was in good hands Mia turned to the Qunari. He wasn't hard to miss. Not only were the horns a dead giveaway but with a name like Iron Bull he would be the biggest thing on the battlefield. "Iron Bull I presume."

"Yeah, the horns usually give it away."

She wasn't sure what to think of him. He wasn't like any Qunari she had ever heard of. He was Ben-Hassrath, a spy, and had been ordered to infiltrate the Inquisition. She was taken aback by his confession. She wasn't sure she could trust him "Alright, you run all your reports past Leliana first. If you double cross us, Cassandra will eat you alive."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Krem! Pack up and head to Haven, the Chargers just got hired! I'll send my men on to Haven and stick with you if that's ok."

"Certainly. We have one more thing to handle here before we head to the Hinterlands. A squad is missing. There are reports of a hostile unit in the area but we don't know much more than that. I mean to find my soldiers and stop these people before more of my men die."

"Is your elf going to be alright?" he asked, "she looks a little green."

"This was her first battle. She's never killed anyone before," she said looking over at the supportive group around Cara. "But she's stronger than she looks, so I think she will be."

"Well, she has two things going for her. She's skilled, and she didn't lose it until after the fight," he said.

* * *

Mia joined them with Iron Bull and Cara looked up at the massive Qunari warily.

"This is The Iron Bull. The mages are Solas and Cara, Varric with the crossbow and Maxwell my brother. You already met Lady Cassandra."

He looked at her oddly a moment. "A mage? Impressive bow and dagger skills for a mage," he said.

"At least you didn't call me a bas or saarabas even," she said.

"So there is a bit of fire to you after all." He clapped a massive hand against her shoulder and would have knocked her off the log if she hadn't of had an arm around Solas' waist still. "You'll be alright. Just remember these guys were assholes."

"I'm not sure if I feel better or worse, but thanks for the vote of confidence. If you all will excuse me, I'd like to clean some of this blood off." Cara moved to the shore and rinsed the cloth Maxwell had handed her and wiped at the blood. The shirt would need to be soaked, but at least her white leather was no longer red.

Cassandra would be leaving with the Chargers back to Haven and they all returned to camp so she could gather her things. Cara wandered across the hill behind camp and picked elfroot. Then found the skull that makes the shards visible. She knew what it was but to actually see it and realize it was a real person's skull sent a shiver down her spine. It belonged to someone that was once a mage, with hopes and dreams. Someone whose very spirit was severed from the Fade, stripped of everything that made him or her unique, special. It was another harsh reminder that the world she was in was nothing like her own. To survive she would have to look at things through the eyes of this world and not her own. Just like the skull, the view through it would show a different perspective than what the naked eye could see.

"While we were in Redcliffe we learned that the Venatori murdered the Tranquil to create the skulls. They light up shards when looked through," Solas said.

Cara heard the tremor in his voice that gave away his feelings on their senseless deaths. She hadn't realized he had followed, but she shouldn't have been surprised. He had always kept a close watch over her.

She stepped up to it and could feel the strange magic. "Strange, the energy crawls across the skin." She shuddered but looked through it. She knew the general location of these three shards and found them quickly.

* * *

They went in search of the missing soldiers. Cara knew what they would find and was glad Remus was with them. She'd left him at camp earlier, not wanting him injured fighting with allies who wouldn't know he was friendly. They soon crested the hill and found the Blades. Remus quickly took out the mabari that charged while she took out the archers that threatened the melee fighters. She felt the disruption in the air behind her just a second before she felt the cold snap of ice magic. Cara whirled and saw the shadow rogue frozen, with blades aimed at her back. She wouldn't have moved fast enough to prevent a serious injury. She lashed out with the arrow in her hand as well as the edge of the bow and the ice shattered in a hundred bloody pieces. She swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise at the sight of a person in so many pieces and turned to find the next target. Soon it was over and Mia and Solas were next to her again.

She gave them a weak smile. "I'm alright." She let out the breath she held and turned to Solas. "Thank you. I doubt I could have moved fast enough get away from him."

"It's my favorite trick of his. Makes my job so much easier," Mai said. "Thanks for the range support. You really have done well today."

Cara had taken out a warrior that had tried to flank her. Mia nodded to her and moved to search the buildings. Cara knew what they would find and instead went to search the trunks and pots, collecting elfroot along the way. She also collected the shard on the rooftop. Solas climbed up after her.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I will be. It was a shock, but not as bad. I realize it's either them or me. They attacked first, I simply have to remember that."

"There are drier spots for the two of you to make out," Maxwell called up.

Cara blushed and moved away from Solas to the ladder. His hand brushed against her arm as if he thought to grab it and thought better of it.

"Carina," he began and she turned to him. "The day you woke…." his expression turned sad.

"Don't. I was drunk Solas, it was ill-considered and impulsive. Thank you for not taking advantage of the situation. It won't happen again, think nothing of it," she said.

"Come on you two, we have some supplies to gather. I have a crest I need to make if we are going to resolve this with as little bloodshed as possible," Mia called.

Cara turned and was thankful for the rain as it hid the tear that fell. She moved to the edge of the roof and jumped off rather than go down the ladder. She heard him yell her name and when she looked up he was looking over the edge. His expression went from concern, to shock, to anger.

"Do you know how foolish that was?" he snapped.

She shrugged and walked away. No more foolish than falling in love with the Dread Wolf. She heard him cussing in elvhen and smiled to herself.

* * *

"So how does this thing work?" she asked Mia.

"I guess I wear it and walk right into their camp. We just have to find where it is," Mia said.

"Did the message give any clues?" Cara asked.

"Only that it is to the west," Mia said.

"Well I took this off one of them, maybe Remus can track their scent back to their stronghold." They had returned to the place of the fight and looked for more clues.

"Even in this rain?" she asked.

Solas was pretending not to listen.

"Of course. Once a wolf catches a scent there is no escape." Cara saw him smirk out of the corner of her eye.

She held out the helm and let Remus smell the inside of it. "Find where they are, boy." He put his nose to the ground and then sniffed the air. Then he took off over the hill to the west. He avoided the beach, which she was thankful for. Cara didn't want to fight the dragon or giant just yet.

When the fort came into view she whistled for Remus to disengage. Cara didn't want him rushing in and starting a brawl with the entire fort.

Mia took the lead and marched in confidently. She strode up to the man. "You murdered Inquisition Soldiers. We cannot let this stand."

"You wish to challenge me! So be it!"

Mia ducked his battle ax and came in low slashing as she whirled around him. Remus and Cara were engaged in battle with an armed Mabari while Varric and Solas range attacked the one trying to flank Bull, Mia, and Maxwell as they engaged the boss. The leader of the Blades went down easier than his damn dogs, and Cara was happy that Remus was uninjured when it was over.

She was removing the armor from one of the hounds when Maxwell joined her.

"I'm pretty sure that's not your size," Maxwell teased.

Cara grinned up at him. "No definitely not, but I thought maybe with a pattern Harritt could make some for Remus. He's been lucky so far, but maybe some armor would be a good idea." She stuffed it into the pack he offered. "Thank you."

"Not a bad idea. Damn, but he will look fierce in something like that. Not that he isn't fierce looking now, of course." He sputtered the last and she could swear there was a bit of a blush creep into his cheeks. Cara went to move away and he grabbed her hand. "Are you doing okay? With what happened before I…"

She turned and looked up at him and her mouth went dry at what she saw in his eyes. It wasn't the predatory look like the night in Haven. It was softer.

"I'm doing ok." She pulled her hand slowly away from his. "I appreciate your concern." He smiled at her and she didn't seem to know what to say.

"Hey, Charming, come help me with this door, it seems to be stuck," Varric called.

Cara looked over and he winked at her. She mouthed him a 'Thank you', as Max walked away. Varric gave her a short nod. She took a deep breath and lifted the pack onto her back. Solas was staring at her, his expression stoic as ever. She lifted an eyebrow at him and he frowned.

"Is my brother acting weird again or is it just me?" Mia asked as she joined her.

"Noticed did you?" she asked. "I'm sure it's just the 'knight in shining armor syndrome'. He saw me as a damsel in distress earlier. He'll get over it," she said. "So will Solas."

She looked over Cara's shoulder at him. "Are you sure about that?"

"When this is over he will leave. I doubt there is anything I will do to change things," she said.

"Are you also a Seer?" she asked as she studied her face.

Cara shrugged. "I have seen things, but they may not be set in stone."

Mia gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sorry if I caused you trouble by pushing you two together." She looked a bit guilty.

"I understand. Sit in a jail cell or stay in the home of a single man. Either way, my reputation would have been in tatters. Tough call."

"It was the lesser of two evils. As for reputations, I am a declared Heretic and have shared a tent with Solas and with Varric on different occasions. It's war, we can't be bound by stupid noble notions all the time," she said. "You can always share a tent with Maxwell, I think he'd like that," she teased.

"Oh, no we are not going there. Though, I prefer this side of him, to the other," Cara said.

"This is more his nature, just remember he's not as sweet and innocent as he looks," she said.

"No, a man that looks like that wouldn't be…." She coughed. "er…Sorry. Still, I'm not going there." Cara really didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Are we done here? I felt a disturbance earlier. I think it's a rift."

"You felt it too? Interesting. I wonder if it's because you went through one. You did right?"

"I don't remember entering the Fade, only being there and then leaving," she said. "It's the mark, it changed. Just a subtle change, but that's what I felt."

"Yeah, it's like a rift finder. I can almost let the damn thing drag me to them." She grinned.

Mia turned to Ivor, her now first in command of the Blades. "I need to return to the Hinterlands. If any issues arise get word to Haven. I will have my scouts send ravens for you to send messages."

He saluted by slapping his fist over his chest. "As you wish, Herald of Andraste."

They were in awe of her. If anyone was doing good work in Thedas it was Mia. Cara was proud to be a part of it too, even if it was the weirdest damn thing she'd ever experienced.

* * *

It's official. Giant spiders are now one of her biggest fears. Damn things are big and hairy and spit poison. And Cara thought the little ones were scary! Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if they weren't in a dark, damp, cave. The smell of mold and death was not a smell that led to pleasant thoughts. Just brushing through small webs made her skin crawl. These were much worse. They were much stronger than any web she'd seen and they had to be cut.

Remus was her protector once again. Him and Solas. Between them both, not one of them got close to her and she was able to offer range support.

Maxwell and Iron Bull collected the spider ichor and venom to make an antidote for spider bites. Better them than her. Yuck!

They found two rifts. Also a first experience for her. The pull of the Fade near them was more familiar than she expected, as if it was natural for her to be connected to it at all times. Killing demons was easier than people, but they are more dangerous.

To reach one of the rifts they had to fight through the dragonlings. They are vicious little things, but even so it was a shame to have to kill them. Cara half hoped that one of these trips they could find some eggs. How bad could a baby dragon be? That crazy Kolgrum was able to talk with the high dragon and the cultists seemed to coexist with dragons of all ages, so it must not be impossible to tame one.

* * *

Finally, they moved south toward the Hinterlands and Cara was grateful to be out of the rain. Mia acquired another tent from the Blades so they now had four. Cara claimed the fourth one for herself and started to set it up. She found herself with more help than she bargained for. Maxwell, Solas and Iron Bull all approached from different directions. Cara looked at Mia, who just smiled and shook her head. Cara was going to argue that she could set up her own tent but instead threw her hands up in frustration. The looks they gave each other were comical.

"Fine with me boys. Knock yourselves out, literally, figuratively, I really don't care. I'll just take Remus hunting. Varric, care to join me?" Cara wasn't going to stick around and give them an audience. It would merely add fuel to the fire.

Varric grinned. "Sounds like fun." Solas gave her a narrowed look. She was half tempted to stick her tongue out at him but bit back the childish response. After the day she had she was not amused by the idea of a pissing contest on her behalf. Men!

"Ya know, you just took all the wind out of their sails by not sticking around," Varric said.

"Yep. I'm not playing that game."

"So why did you drag me into it?" he asked with a grin.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. You're neutral territory, simply a friend. I know you're not interested any more than I am."

"Well then, I completely agree to help you drive them crazy," he said with a laugh.

"All this…" She waved back at camp. "It's a little overwhelming. I have zero interest in any intimate relationship with Iron Bull or Maxwell."

"You didn't mention Solas. So I assume you've considered it. I have to say I'm surprised to see Chuckles flustered. He's usually in complete control. I think you're just what he needs." He looked at her a moment. "But….you think it's one of those romances don't you. The kind that ends in tragedy?"

"I haven't decided if I'm willing to risk it for the small hope it doesn't," she said. "But then you know all about that don't you?"

He let out a long breath. "Yeah I do. How did you guess?"

"It's easy for one troubled soul to see the same thing in another. Like Romeo and Juliet."

"Who?" he asked.

"Sorry, a tragedy from long ago. They were star-crossed lovers. Long story short, they married in secret, would have run away, but in the end committed suicide to be together."

"Wow that is tragic," he said.

"A tragedy makes for a great story, but it's hell if you actually live it."

"If it's okay with you, I'd rather not talk about it."

"I understand. I just meant you and I know what it's like to want something and no matter how right it feels, it ends badly. Sometimes love just isn't enough to overcome."

"Yeah."

Cara saw the ram out of the corner of her eye and gave a yip to Remus. He circled behind it and drove it closer. She lifted the bow and readied an arrow. When the ram was nearly in position she pulled the arrow back and kept it in sight until it passed behind a boulder. She counted the seconds before it should emerge and when it cleared the boulder, let the arrow fly. She was off on the shot and ran to the ram to end its suffering.

"Damn! You really are good with a bow. You knew where the ram was going to be before he did," he said.

Cara grinned at the compliment. "Thanks, but if you keep sweet talking me I'm going to demand that I get to run my fingers through your chest hair," she teased.

"Shhh, Bianca might hear you. She gets jealous easily."

"I needed this. Today has been a bit more than I could handle all at once."

He took the ram and they headed back to camp.

* * *

Cara knew she wouldn't sleep for a while so she volunteered for first watch. She was falling back into her old sleep pattern 1AM to 6AM. The quiet was nice, and she took advantage of it to do some research. She had brought a book found in Haven on spells and was trying to understand how to call certain elements at will. So far she could send a wintry blast freezing someone or send electrical current through a few of them. The last one was easiest and she could now use it fairly often. The book was extremely dull, she sighed in frustration as she slammed it shut.

"I take it you did not find what you were looking for?" he said.

She was startled by his voice. He'd been quiet the whole time and she'd nearly forgotten he was there.

"No, circle mages have a different way of looking at magic. It doesn't sound like it would work efficiently." She called on the ice and felt it form a ball in her hand. She wondered if she could do something else with it and thought of a rose as she waved a hand over the ball of ice. It became a clear as glass rose in full bloom. She laughed. "I didn't think that would actually work." She looked over at Solas across the campfire, his gaze was on her hands, and he seemed surprised. "Was I not supposed to be able to do that?"

"I doubt anyone has thought to use magic in such a way. May I see it?" She tossed it to him and plucked a purple wildflower that was at her feet.

She twirled it between her fingers and thought how the pale purple color and the pattern on the leaf would be pretty as a fabric. As she studied the subtle shading in the petals she felt the need to reach out her aura. The petals shimmered and grew in her hands, weaving themselves together. It felt completely natural to her and it grew in size and shape. She heard the sound of ice shattering on the ground. Solas stood there a shocked look on his face. Cara was just as surprised, but she wasn't going to stop until the spell was finished. Though, she was beginning to think she might have to end it early. She felt the sweat beading on her forehead and she furrowed her brow to keep it going. She felt her power fading, probably because it was a new spell and she was already exhausted from the day's events, she tapped into the Fade to pull mana to complete the spell. Finally, she felt the spell was nearly done and the ends of the fabric knitted to seal it. Instead of a flower, she held a soft, shimmery, fabric. There were nearly four yards of fabric, it was light and gauzy but not quite see through. The shades of purple seemed to move like waves when the fabric moved.

"How did you do that?" He looked angry. He sounded both surprised and angry, but worse was the angry energy she felt rolling off of him.

That terrified her and she dropped the fabric and scrambled away from the fire as he moved closer. He scooped up the fabric from the ground and held it up. She expected it to be smudged with dirt and ash from the fire, but not even the corner that had fallen in the fire was singed.

"Do you know what this is?"

She stopped retreating, it was foolish anyway. He continued walking toward her, but his focus was on the fabric in his hands. Why was he so upset over a piece of fabric? "I just thought it would be pretty."

"You thought?" he snapped, and then he started to laugh quietly. "You simply thought of a spell that no one has seen in thousands of years." His expression changed then. It softened and he stopped in front of her. He unfurled the fabric and draped it around her shoulders. It felt alive; as if she could shape it into anything she wanted and it would mold itself.

"You've seen this before?" she asked him.

"I have seen much in my journeys into the Fade. Forgive me, I didn't mean to frighten you. You did nothing wrong."

Cara let out the breath she was holding and stepped around him. She removed the fabric, folded it up, and put it in her tent. She didn't want to touch it until she decided what to do with it. She paced around camp unable to relax.

Remus watched him warily, Solas' outburst had disturbed him as much as it had frightened her.

Cara understood his reaction and didn't really blame him for being shocked and angry. She had just created a magical item that hasn't been made since the days of Arlathan! She'd not had any more dreams of elves in over a week and had begun to think she had simply made them up, but this? What in the world was going on?

He sat and picked up the pieces of the shattered rose. The ice hadn't melted even though it lay near the fire. Cara watched as he waved his hand over the pieces and they fell back into place and he refroze it. Then she felt his magic change. Curious as to what he was doing she moved closer. She stopped when she saw the corner of his mouth turn up. He'd done it to gain her attention, knowing she would want to see what he was doing. Instead, she walked back to her spot at the fire across from him. He held his hands in such a way that she would have to stand behind or sit beside him to see it.

Cara picked the book back up and began leafing through the pages. She was not a child who couldn't be patient. But concentrating on the book was exceedingly difficult. It was a bunch of rubbish. Nothing truly useful. How to create a warming rune, to heat water or conjure water, but nothing remotely useful in combat settings. She felt his magical aura dissipate. Whatever spell he had been weaving was complete or he had given up due to her lack of interest. The position of Satina, the secondary moon told her it was near the one o'clock hour.

"Did the book suddenly become interesting?" he asked as he sat beside her.

She jumped at the sound of his voice. She'd not even heard him move. "Not particularly, but I thought reading was safer than creating ancient elven magic on accident. Maybe I should learn some of these mundane spells so I fit in, because obviously, I don't know what I'm not supposed to be able to do."

"Ir abelas. I did not think it possible for anyone to create such magic. I overreacted." He was trying to find how to explain his reaction without giving himself away. Cara thought he'd have figured out what to say by now.

"It doesn't matter. I'll stick to daggers and bows and just stay away from creating magic on impulse. Obviously, I'm not smart enough to know something can't be done."

"It was not my intent to discourage you. Half of the spells known happened because someone dared to try something no one should have been able to do. Few have such talent. The Chantry and Circles have put unnecessary limits on magic and have done mages a disservice."

"Ok, but next time I do something I shouldn't please don't freak out on me."

"Ma nuvenin, lethallan," he said.

She turned her attention back to the book to hide the smile at his term of familiarity. She felt his eyes on her. Cara really wanted to know what he'd done with the rose but is also very stubborn. He'd made it a challenge, and she never backed down from a challenge.

He leaned over and read from the page she was reading, and Cara felt his breath against her cheek. "No wonder you have not found anything useful. The writer does not understand how magic is actually called. Where did you find this?"

"I had reached the same conclusion, but I thought if I had an idea of how a spell was done I could do it, just like the last three spells I simply 'tried' on my own." Cara flipped to a section about lights. "See here? The writer doesn't even know you actually call a wisp from the Fade. They act like the mage is just creating light, a simple illusion."

Cara reached into the Fade and called a wisp. It danced and its color changed randomly, even the vibrations it made changed to show its excitement. "Shh little one," she said as she sent a calming aura toward it. "Would you like to play a game?"

"What are you doing?" he sounded displeased.

"I will send the wisp back when I'm done, it won't come to any harm." She held out her hand and it settled in her palm. She whispered what she wanted it to do and lifted her hand sending it on its way.

They watched it as it entered Maxwell and Iron Bull's tent. Both had next watch. Solas chuckled quietly when he understood what she was doing.

Suddenly the lighting in their tent brightened and the wisp's vibration was heard in a shrill whistle sound. The sound of them scrambling for weapons in the tent and their cursing sent her laughing. She put her hand over her mouth and held her stomach as she laughed as quietly as she could. After a few moments, she held up her hand and called to the wisp. It slipped through the tent flap and settled in her open palm.

"Thank you little one, now back home you go." With a flick of her wrist, she called on the Fade and sent it home.

With the sudden loss of light, they tripped over each other and Cara was surprised the tent was still standing. Unfortunately, the commotion also woke Varric and Mia.

Four heads poked out of their tents. The looks on their faces were priceless.

"Sorry. I was practicing a new spell, it didn't exactly work like I thought," she said innocently.

Once they knew it was her spell they relaxed, just not before they gave them both murderous looks.

"It's time to switch watch anyway," she told them.

Cara looked at Solas and was pleased to see the smile on his face. "Thank you, that was quite entertaining," he said quietly.

"The wisp enjoyed it too."

Iron Bull was the first one out of the tent.

"Sorry I was trying a spell from this book, but it was badly written and it didn't work right," she told him.

He snatched the book from her.

"I was only going to light up the tent to wake you."

"A light spell? Isn't that something mages learn early on?"

"Yes, but I didn't learn mine in a circle so I thought I would try their application method. I've learned now the author either forgot a step or didn't know what they were writing about." She managed to keep a straight face and he bought it. "I'll be more careful next time I try a spell from a book." Cara faked a yawn which turned into a real yawn. "I'm going to step out of camp a moment and then head to bed."

As she was heading to the tent she realized Solas hadn't shown her what he had done with the ice rose and he was nowhere in sight.

She found two bedrolls instead of just one. She bit back the curse that threatened to spill from her lips. She would not let him get to her. She shrugged out of her coat and was tugging off a boot when he entered the tent. She raised an eyebrow at him and he simply looked at her. She would have to make a scene to make him leave. He sat and faced her as he unwound his foot wraps. She unbuckled her other boot and leaned forward to push it off when he leaned forward and reached for it. He gripped the heel of it and placed a hand on her thigh, pulling the boot easily from her foot.

"Thanks."

He leaned back onto his bedroll and removed his shirt. Folding it neatly beside him. Was this another silent challenge? Would she look away? Would she continue to undress with the tent lit or would she wait until it was dark? Elves weren't as prudish about their bodies around each other. Public baths were common so she pulled her shirt free and lifted it over her head. Then stood and loosened the laces holding her breeches, and slid them off. If he thought she would be scandalized by standing before him in a breast band and panties he was wrong. It was no different than wearing a bikini to the pool. She folded her clothes slowly and slipped under the blanket, undid the breast band and placed it on top of the clothes next to her.

"Good night, Solas," she said and turned away from him. Cara smiled when he let out the breath he had been holding. She had called his bluff and won another round.

"Good night, Carina," he finally said. The tent went dark a moment later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an extra chapter about what happened to the tent while she and Varric were hunting. I decided to make it a one shot on it's own you can find it here.
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/5026090


	10. Dreams and Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our OC is beginning to remember more things about her past. Like the other dreams it leaves her shaken and vulnerable. Not ready to trust anyone with her secret she's finding it harder to hide. She may have to trust a certain elf whether she is ready to or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-19-16 Edits made to clean up sentences, fix grammar mistakes missed, and change POV to Third person.

Cara woke to soft laughter. She blinked at the sudden brightness of the morning light as she pushed the images of the dream aside. She realized the laughter had been Solas, and turned to ask him what was so funny but the sound came out in a low growl. She yelped in surprise. She was no longer herself but a white wolf. She covered her head with front paws and groaned. This couldn’t get much worse, thankfully it was Solas who saw, rather than one of the others.  
  
“You are full of surprises, _lethallan_ ,” he said. “However lovely your wolf form is, you should change back quickly.”  
  
She whined an answer. She didn’t know how she had become a wolf, let alone how to end the spell. Remus pushed through the tent flap and crept closer, his front half pressed against the ground submissively. She snapped at him when he licked her face.  
  
“Ah, unsure how?” Solas asked.  
  
She made a quiet huff.  
  
“It should be simple to reverse the spell. I suspect you simply need to think of your elf form,” he said. As if it should be second nature.  
  
Cara really didn’t like the smug elf then. She sighed loudly and then looked for the magic that had created her current form. Her aura stretched out and surround her. She didn't understand what needed done but thought of being an elf again. A light began shimmering around her until Remus yipped, drawing her attention back to wolves. She growled in frustration.  
  
Solas put a hand on Remus. "Quiet _falon_ , she needs to concentrate. You must not distract her."  
  
Remus whined an apology.  
  
"Try again. Put all thoughts of anything other than yourself aside."  
  
Once more magic to surround her. As the tent filled with her aura, she thought about being an elf again. The shimmering light started dimly and then brightened as she added more mana to the spell. The tent glowed with white light and her skin itched as her form changed. She worried it would be painful to shift, but it was merely an odd sensation as the magic washed over her. Before the light faded she grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her. Cara sighed in relief when she was once again herself.  
  
“Well, that was unexpected,” she said.  
  
“I am curious to know why you shape shifted into a wolf?”  
  
“I dreamt I was a wolf running through the forest at night. It seemed completely natural to be a wolf.” She shivered. Was that another memory? If so, of which world? Remus whined at her, and she rubbed his head. “Sorry boy, you know the rules.”  
  
He woofed an agreement and left the tent.  
  
“Fascinating. Becoming a wolf was as natural and as easy as breathing,” he said.  
  
“You will keep my secret?” she asked.  
  
“Shape shifting is not common, but it is not unheard of,” he said.  
  
“No, but it is still not sanctioned by the Chantry. I’d prefer they not know. My position is precarious enough, all things considered.”  
  
“You have nothing to fear. I will protect your secret,” he said.  
  
“ _Ma serannas_ , Solas.” Cara grabbed her clothes and turned her back to him. She quickly donned a shirt, then slipped into breeches and boots, gathered the rest and left the tent so he could dress. She doubted things could get much weirder.

* * *

The camp was quiet, the only person at the fire was Varric. He'd taken last watch allowing Bull and Maxwell a couple hours of rest before they would continue their journey.  
  
“Morning, Violet.” He had a curious smile on his face.  
  
“You look like you have a secret, or learned someone’s secret,” she said.  
  
“You could say that, but don’t worry, it’s safe with me. Hawke played that trick on us once.” He laughed. “He always was pulling some prank or another.”  
  
Cara grinned at him. “I couldn’t resist. Not after all they did last night putting up my tent.”  
  
“One thing’s for sure. It won’t ever be dull with you around,” he said.  
  
“God, I hope not!”  
  
She gave Solas a smile when he left the tent. Remus danced about him excitedly as they headed out of camp together. She should be jealous the wolf enjoyed the elf’s company so much, but she simply couldn’t be. If anything she was jealous she didn’t spend as much time around the elf herself, but then she reminded herself why. She grabbed a small square of cheesecloth, filled it with dried herbs and leaves, tied a string around it, and dropped it in a mug. She poured hot water over it and stared into it while it steeped.  
  
“You alright this morning?” Varric asked. “You’re quieter than usual.”  
  
“Hmm, oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just had an odd dream is all, but then I’ve been having them for a while. Most of them are memories, others I’m not so sure.”  
  
He shook his head. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to dream.”  
  
“Well, it’s like when you read a well-written novel and you can imagine what the character looks like. You can picture the places they go, the things they see and hear and smell, only the story is in your mind and not on paper.”  
  
“Yes, but the Fade is where demons and spirits are. I think I’m just fine not dreaming at all,” he said.  
  
“I guess I’ve been lucky, I rarely encounter anything more than a playful wisp in the Fade.”  
  
Varric handed her a plate of porridge. She was beginning to acquire a taste for it, though it was far from a favorite for breakfast. While she ate she thought back on the dream. It had a familiar ring to it, far more familiar than just a story she had read at some point as if it was something she had actually experienced.

* * *

 _She stretched and shook the dirt from her coat. Someone nearby twitched in their sleep, haunted by dreams. She heard the sound again. It was faint, carried on the wind and barely penetrated the mouth of the cave. She looked over her shoulder at the sleeping forms. They had found her and given her a home, a pack without question, but she was healed now and it was time to move on._  
  
_She slipped out of the mouth of the cave and into the moonlight. The full moon cast a soft blue glow to the world around. These were the nights she was restless. When the moon was full and the sky was free from cloud cover. The faint breeze carried many scents, some new, some familiar. Each one told a story. The smell of lavender, someone had run through the nearby meadow stirring the fragrant blossoms, mixed with a hint of musk. Deer had crossed a nearby meadow._  
  
_The smell of smoke very faint, from a cottage a few miles away. Along with it the scent of meat and vegetables simmering over hot coals. Her stomach growled softly at the tantalizing scent and she sighed. It had been too long since she had eaten cooked food. Then the sound pricked her ears again. A soft wail and it tugged at her human side. She picked her way quietly over rocks, careful to not leave a trail. They would try to track her in the morning, but they were better off without her presence._  
  
_When she was far enough away she moved into a lope, swift paws stretched out, sprung from the earth and gave her speed. The sound grew louder and what she thought to be one soft wail had become two. She found a stream and ran down the center, hiding her trail even more. The stream widened into a river and she was forced to skirt the edges as other streams met with it carrying water from the mountains._  
  
_The sound was closer now, and she could smell the faint scent of flesh on the breeze. she stopped and listened. Wary of going closer, mindful of any possible traps. Humans were often cruel, and fearful of wolves. She tried to ignore the cries, but they grew pleading, and she knew she would risk whatever danger for those the voices belonged to._  
  
_She crept along the edge of the river and found them. Tucked carefully into a basket made of reeds, two babes. Twin boys. She moved cautiously forward and peered into the basket. One boy babe looked up and stopped his cries. A tentative hand reached out and she pushed a white snout closer. She huffed when his tiny fingers gripped her nose. The other also quieted and they looked at her, eyes filled with wonder._  
  
S _he slipped her head through the basket handle and lumbered back into the trees towards the mountain and caves she knew would found there. It would provide temporary shelter from the cold night, and safety for the babes while she searched for food._

* * *

The cheerful woof of Remus returning to camp pulled her from her thoughts. She would have to dwell on the dream another time. Perhaps then she would remember more, and would begin to understand what it meant. Now, it was time to break camp and head to the Hinterlands. She was looking forward to the ride. They were well away from the relentless rain.  
  
After everyone had eaten she gathered up the plates and headed toward the stream. Her guardian elf took them from her.  
  
“They aren’t heavy, Solas, I can manage,” Cara said.  
  
“I do not think the Herald expects you to take on the role of a servant." He sounded as if doing such a simple task was beneath her.  
  
“I don’t mind. It’s not as if I have to do this at Haven. Traveling is different. Everyone takes on multiple roles. Besides, I would like to know the plates are actually clean, no one else seems to care.”  
  
He gave a short chuckle. “There are more important issues than clean plates.”  
  
“Not if I have to eat off them there isn’t. Laugh if you want, but I’m not risking getting sick from unwashed dishes.”  
  
He laughed again and she jerked the plates from his hands and stomped toward the stream.

* * *

The trip was uneventful and aside from a short stop at The Spoiled Princess they saw no other travelers until they reached the Hinterlands. It was a slow, easy pace, which matched the stride set by The Iron Bull. Until they reached the main camp in the Hinterlands, he was without a mount. Neither of the two extra horses would allow him to ride.  
  
Cara was lost in thought while Hanin followed Mia and Solas at the front. Behind them, Varric and Maxwell guarded the rear.  
  
“So why isn’t the elf riding with you?” Iron Bull asked.  
  
"Is there a reason he should ride with me?" she asked.  
  
"Elves usually stick together, you two aren't often far from each other and share a tent. But, this morning you have avoided making eye contact and haven't spoken to him once."  
  
“Hanin.” Cara pointed to the Hart. “He has chosen me and doesn’t like other mounts near me, and he is especially jealous of Solas’ Hart. I gave him an apple once and I thought he would break through his stall to fight him for it. It's simply easier to put some distance between them, rather than fight to keep them from challenging each other.”  
  
His laughter caused Solas’ to turn and look over his shoulder. She saw his frown a moment before Bulls’ hand was near her knee, a second before Hanin swiped his head back to strike at the Quinari with his massive antlers. Solas’ lips twitched in a slight smile at the curse that left Bull’s lips then he turned his attention forward again. Maxwell and Varric laughed behind them.  
  
“You really shouldn’t do that,” she said. “Hanin is quite protective of me.”  
  
“I see that. Tell me, how did an elf like you end up with the Inquisition?”  
  
“It’s an odd story,” she told him  
  
“We haven’t much else to do, where are you from?”  
  
“I don’t know. The first thing I remember is waking up in Haven. I don’t remember any other home here.”  
  
“We found Violet outside of Redcliffe. Rosie let Solas take her home like a stray,” Varric teased.  
  
Cara nearly laughed when Solas stiffened.  
  
“That is hardly accurate, Master Tethras,” he said.  
  
“Lighten up, Chuckles, anyone of us would have taken her in, you just happened to be the one that was keeping her alive.”  
  
“You didn't remember anything? Everyone remembers something,” Iron Bull said.  
  
“I remember faces but little else. I remember training with another elf, but not where he is, or why we aren’t together.”  
  
“Like together, together?” he asked.  
  
“No, he was my uncle, at least I think he was. The memories are fuzzy. Anyone else is lost in a sea of faces and strange events that don’t make sense to me. Why does it matter?”  
  
“I just like knowing who my competition is,” he said.  
  
Well, shit! Though she should have known, Bull hits on everyone. Just then Hanin swiped at him again for getting too close.  
  
“Damn! Does he dislike everyone this much or is it just me?” Bull asked.  
  
“Just you.” Four voices answered in unison for her and Cara had to laugh.  
  
“He’s a good judge of character, and he knows your intentions,” she said.  
  
Iron Bull shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for trying. Pretty girl like you, if I like something I like I go after it.”  
  
Cara wondered how long she would have to ignore him before he went away. She didn’t dislike Bull, she just wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship with him.  
  
“I think you’re already too late, Tiny. I’m pretty sure Chuckles is at the front of that line.”  
  
“Just rumors Varric, you know that. We are just friends.” Cara said. Though she knew it didn’t convince anyone. Bull studied her a moment, but before he could say anything else Mia cut him off.  
  
“That’s enough. Cara is a member of my team, not a serving girl or a tavern wench. I will tell you the same thing I've told everyone else. I expect everyone on this team to show her the same respect shown me.”  
  
“Sorry, Boss. Sorry, Cara,” Bull said.

* * *

They met up with the Warden Blackwall. A burly man who believes in honor. Cara knew more about the man than the rest but would let things play out. Mia may find him an asset and who knows he may grow on her as well. She believed everyone should be given the chance to redeem themselves.  
  
While Mia talked with him, Cara wandered about collecting herbs and soaking in the scenery. The area reminded her of home. Rugged mountains, crisp clean air, the sounds of birds, and squirrels searching for food. The gentle breeze through the trees rustled the leaves and the waterfalls were all soothing sounds. She wandered closer to the lake’s edge searching for herbs. She knelt to pick some elfroot and saw his bare toes behind her. “Enjoying the view?” she asked him.  
  
He chuckled. “It has a certain appeal.” His voice was quiet and low.  
  
She leaned back to stand and put weight wrong on her left knee. His hands reached out to steady her.  
  
“Thanks.” She took a step and stretched the knee, frustrated that it was bothering her today. It was her own fault. She had jarred it when she jumped off the roof the day before and then today she had carelessly stepped off the dock and twisted it as they neared the cabin to help fight off the bandits who attacked.  
  
“You are injured.” He took her elbow and led her to a crate to sit on.  
  
“It’s nothing, an old injury. I doubt you can…” She gasped as she felt healing magic searching. It wasn’t unpleasant but it had a certain intimacy to it that threw her.  
  
“I see, it was not healed properly,” he said, and his magic soothed the ache twisting her knee had caused. Cara watched him a moment studying his face. She fought the urge to reach out and touch him.  
  
“Do you mind if I ask you something?”  
  
“What would you like to know?” he asked.  
  
“What made you start studying the Fade?” It was one of her favorite dialogues, and in all the time she had known him hadn’t really asked him anything about himself.  
  
“I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade became troublesome.”  
  
“Did spirits try to tempt you? So far I have only met wisps, but I know there are others I may have to deal with eventually.”  
  
“No more than a brightly colored fruit is deliberately tempting you to eat it. I learned how to defend myself against more aggressive spirits and how to interact safely with the rest. I learned how to control my dreams with full consciousness. There was so much I wanted to explore.”  
  
“I gather you didn’t spend your entire life dreaming.”  
  
“No, eventually I was unable to find new areas in the Fade.”  
  
“Why? I would think the Fade would be limitless as far as memories and information are concerned.”  
  
“Two reasons. First, the Fade reflects the world around it. Unless I traveled, I would never find anything new. Second, the Fade reflects and is limited by our imaginations. To find interesting areas, one must be interesting.”  
  
“Is this why you joined the Inquisition?”  
  
“I joined the Inquisition because we are all in terrible danger. If our enemies destroyed the world, I would have nowhere to lay my head while dreaming of the Fade.”  
  
“Ah.”  
  
“That is why I joined, not why I stayed.”  
  
“I hope you find what you are looking for.”  
  
“Thank you. In truth, I have enjoyed experiencing more of life to find more of the Fade.”  
  
“So after spending much of your time dreaming you suddenly find life awake enjoyable. Why?”  
  
“You train to flick a dagger or an arrow to its target. The grace with which you move is a pleasing side benefit. You have chosen a path whose steps you do not dislike because it leads to a destination you enjoy. As have I.”  
  
“So you’re suggesting I’m graceful?”  
  
“No, I am declaring it. It was not a subject for debate.” He looked up at her and his expression was a mix of desire and uncertainty. She’d rejected a number of his flirtatious advances and his look was one that showed he was worried she would reject this one as well. She could have reminded him that she wasn’t as graceful as he claimed. She had just twisted her knee, but more than anything she wanted him to smile at her again.  
  
She laughed. “Smooth, very smooth.” He smiled and her heart skipped a beat.  
  
“I try,” he said.  
  
“Do you really fall asleep in ancient ruins? Isn’t that rather dangerous?”  
  
“I do set wards, and if you leave food for the giant spiders they are usually content to live and let live.”  
  
Cara shook her head. “After fighting the giant spiders on the Storm Coast I think I will avoid ruins filled with them.”  
  
“Would you like to discuss what happened this morning?” he asked.  
  
Cara looked at their small group before answering. “Not really? I know I should, but I’m not ready to. This isn’t exactly a private spot to talk, and to find privacy implies other things are going on between us.”  
  
“Then we will find a way to speak privately,” he said.  
  
“You mean the Fade? Where hundreds of spirits listen in, remember, and share those memories with anyone willing to seek them out? That doesn’t exactly sound private,” she said.  
  
He shook his head. “Why must you continue to complicate matters?”  
  
“Now that is a loaded question. I‘m not the one making things complicated.” It wasn’t exactly true. She was complicating things and her own mixed signals didn’t help. "It hasn’t exactly been easy trying to piece things together. I’m not sure I’m ready to share this puzzle with anyone.”  
  
“You cannot continue to ignore your magic. You must learn to consciously control it or it will continue to manifest unexpectedly. ”  
  
“You aren’t going to let me put this off are you?”  
  
“No. Whatever has caused the lapse in memory is losing its hold and it is having adverse effects. You are remembering skills and spells, yet you have no memory of learning them. All of which makes you vulnerable and dangerous.”  
  
Cara chewed on her lower lip. He was right, and she knew it. She knew what his answer would be before she asked. “Alright Solas, what do I need to do?”  
  
“You need to trust me,” he said.  
  
She didn’t know if she could. “Easier said than done, Solas.”  
  
“Have I given you reason to think you cannot trust me, _lethallan_?” he asked.  
  
Shit! She opened her mouth to say something then closed it. No, in the time she had known him personally, he had not. Was it fair of her to judge him based on events which haven’t happened yet? Part of her said yes. She let out the breath she held. “So far, no. Very well, I will try.”  
  
He stood, took her hands and pulled her up to stand in front of him. “There, that should help. Though I will warn you, no jumping, twisting or wild flips in the air. You _lethallan_ , are grounded for a week while it fully heals.” Something in his smug look told her, while maybe not intentional, he was going to use it to his advantage.  
  
“Are you shitting me?”  
  
He shook his head.  
  
“And just what am I supposed to do in a fight now? You’ve taken away most of my defensive and offensive moves for both daggers and the bow!”  
  
“Now you have no choice but to work on, and use your magical skills,” he said.  
  
“This doesn’t help you in the trust area,” she said angrily. She wasn’t competent enough to use only magic in battle. She only had two spells and staff work was never her strongest area in martial arts.  
  
“You will thank me for this eventually,” he said smugly.  
  
“Don’t bet on it,” she mumbled. His soft chuckle drained some of her anger. It was hard to stay angry when she knew he meant well. But damn, using magic she knew next to nothing about, to defend herself and others, scared the shit out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my chapter needs a little clarification. The dream she has is based on the myth surrounding Romulus and Remus. I won't go into too much detail here because more will be explained in future chapters. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. I'd like to know what you think of my story so far.


	11. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Accepting help is sometimes more difficult than it should be. It can be even more difficult to accept when that help comes from a smug apostate elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Huge thanks to SableR for taking the time to edit this chapter.
> 
> Edit: 5-21-16 chapter rewritten into Third person POV and minor changes to fix mistakes in grammar.

She had been quieter than usual today, avoiding him as much as possible. He should simply let her, but he could not. The more he learned about her, the deeper the mystery grew. He was certain she had lied about her memory loss, yet there were many things which surprised her. She looked at the world around her as if for the first time, and yet she was completely at ease in the wilderness. Her hunting and tracking skills rivaled those of Dalish hunters, yet she made no connections with the Dalish scouts in the Inquisition. She seemed to avoid anything elvish and often seemed more human than elf. It was as if she was torn between two worlds.

Her combat skills confused him as well. There was a formality to them. They were nearly identical to skills taught to warriors in the days of Arlathan, and yet, there was an incompleteness to them. They were unrefined, untested in battle--and it showed. Her instincts were uncanny, though, and she seemed to know how things would unfold. It gave her an advantage while fighting, but afterward, she would nearly fall apart. She was both young and old at the same time.

She sat alone near the edge of the fire’s glow. There was enough lighting for him to see the expression on her face. It was the same expression she had anytime he questioned her about the past. Something in her memories frightened her, and he had added to her fear by confronting her on the lack of control she had over her magic. He had been content to allow her to use the few skills she was comfortable with, but when she woke as a wolf he realized how lacking her control was. Eventually, she would call a spell she could not control, or harm someone unintentionally. Now, she was angry with him and afraid of her own talent. She kept glancing back at the fire, and then out to the forest; she was contemplating whether or not she could simply disappear. If she did, it would be his fault.

* * *

Cara thought about running. If she left, she wouldn’t have to face him. She wouldn’t have to tell him anything about her dreams. Her secret would be safe. She would be safe. She watched them quietly from the edge of the camp. Mia and Maxwell were playfully bickering as only close siblings could. Varric and Iron Bull were discussing the Arishok. The newest one and the old one, which made her wonder if the Silent Grove series happened just before the Conclave. It must have, for Varric to have met Sten. Occasionally they would look over at her and grow quiet. As if they wanted to say something but didn’t know how she would react. If only he would stop watching she could slip quietly out of camp. It would be easy to change into a wolf and disappear into the night.

She knew where they were, and knew if she continued south would hit the Korcari Wilds. If she traveled east she would find the Brecillian forest. She stared off into the forest. She could easily avoid people and disappear. She could, but she wouldn’t. If she left, she would still have to face the consequences of his plans. If she stayed she might be able to sway him. She would stay. She would face him, and would deal with what might happen. Cara wouldn’t volunteer anything without him asking specifically, and hopefully, he would understand why she kept her secret from him for so long.

She jumped when he spoke.

“Thinking of running?” Solas asked. He’d waited until her attention was no longer on the camp.

It irritated her how he knew what she was thinking. “I was,” she said, “but you needn’t worry, I won’t. I made a commitment to Mia and I will stick it out.”

“I can’t imagine that your past is so terrible that you are afraid to tell anyone.”

“It’s not that it’s terrible, it’s just…” Cara sighed in frustration. She was tired of him asking about it. “I don’t understand, so how can I expect it to make sense to anyone else?”

“Perhaps a new perspective will help?” he asked.

Cara knew he was trying to help ease her fear but it’s not as if she can just say. “By the way, I’m probably an ancient elf who was sent to another world before you created the veil and destroyed all of Elvhenan. Which also severed that world from this one for thousands of years. Until recently, I didn’t realize this world even existed. Then somehow, the Breach created a connection between them and here I am.” She wasn’t ready to accept it, so she knew he wouldn’t be.

“Why don’t we start with me learning to control my talent, and I work toward trusting you with the rest, okay?”

“Might I suggest a compromise? You should share any memories involving your magic with me. It will aid my understanding of what you know and where we should begin.”

“Then you may as well start at the beginning. The few skills I have, I’ve pulled out of thin air with no idea if they would work or not. The only book I remember reading is the one we have already dismissed as being completely useless.”

It was his turn to sigh in frustration. “I have never taught someone before. Most of what I have learned was self-taught. If you had time to learn on your own, I would not interfere. Traveling and fighting with the Herald takes that luxury from you.”

“I get it. I know I don’t have the time to learn on my own, but I hate needing to rely on anyone.”

“Sometimes we must rely on the help of others whether we wish it or not. Let us start with summoning a flame and learning to control it.”

She snorted.“I’m not sure fire is the best thing for us to be messing with.”

He gave her an irritated look. “You need to use an element you are not comfortable with. Fire seemed the logical choice.”

“Perhaps, but it isn’t exactly your strongest element either. You did set your coat on fire earlier.”

“Merely a figment of the Fade.”

“The singe marks on your coat say otherwise.”

“It did go out, eventually. It was not worth mentioning.”

“It was, it really was.” She couldn’t help but tease him for it, and gave him a mischievous smile.

He chuckled. “Then we will both benefit from the lesson. I often forget fire is susceptible to changes in wind direction and fail to account for it.”

“Alright, where do we begin?”

“We should find an area with less plant life, near the pool perhaps.”

Cara motioned for Remus to stay at camp and they moved to the small pond below the lake. He found a spot he was satisfied with and sat against a round boulder. Cara moved to sit next to him, but he pulled her over to sit between his knees.

“Is this really necessary?” she asked. She really didn’t want to sit this close to him, and certainly not in such an intimate way.

“It will be simpler to pass the flame between us, and I can dispel it swiftly if need be.”

Easier for him maybe, but this was closer to Solas than she wanted to be. Cara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willed her heart rate to slow to normal, and forced herself to focus on anything but him.

“Well done. You have already mastered the first step.” Smug bastard--he’d done it intentionally. “Now summon a flame, a small one.”

Cara let out a half breath and thought of fire. It was heat, energy, light, but it was also alive. It needed fuel and oxygen. Fuel could be liquid, solid or even vapors. Since she didn’t have gasoline, a piece of wood, paper, or cloth, she had to pull elements from the air around her. Small amounts of the atmosphere were made up of flammable vapors. In small quantities they weren’t dangerous; combine enough of them, and she could create an explosion or sustain a flame. Slowly, she pulled them to her; a flame appeared in her right hand.

“Now pass it to your left hand and then into mine.”

It flickered as she passed it to the left but didn't go out. As soon as she passed it to him, he leaned closer, she wouldn’t have thought it possible.

His breath was warm against her cheek as he spoke softly in her ear. “Focus on the flame as I pass it back to you. Keep the flame the same size.”

Cara bit the inside of her jaw. She needed the distraction from him pressed against her back before she took the flame in her left hand. Then she moved it to the right, and then to his. She was relieved when he flicked his wrist and the flame went out.

“You learn quickly, the flame flickered only once.”

Cara moved away from him as soon as he lowered his arms.

“So now what? I can control it while I’m awake, but what about in my sleep? That seems to be where my weakness is. That is where the memories are stronger than my control.”

“There are wards that would wake you in the event of using magic, but…” He hesitated and she understood.

“Great, I get the idea. They are used for children.”

He nodded.

Just fucking wonderful: wards to wake you if you use magic accidentally, like those alarms parents can buy for kids to wake them if they pee the bed.

“There is an alternative.”

No. Absolutely not. She was not going to let him into her dreams. Most of the time she had control over them, but there were enough times she didn’t. She couldn’t risk letting him see something from her world.

“No. Neither option is acceptable.” She began walking back toward camp.

“Now you are being childish. You cannot simply ignore this.”

“I won’t. I will figure something out that doesn’t involve childproofing my sleep or allowing you into my head.” She left him standing there shaking his head. Damn it. She was not going to voluntarily let him in her dreams.

“Trouble in paradise?” Iron Bull asked.

“Oh, go fuck yourself, Bull. It was just a magic lesson.” She was not in the mood for his shit either.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” he asked.

Cara turned to say something to him but was interrupted. “You alright, Violet? You don’t exactly sound like yourself,” Varric asked.

He was right. She wasn’t herself. She was pissed. How dare Solas call her childish because she wouldn’t allow him in her head?

“I sound like a child, which apparently I am.” She really didn’t care if she sounded childish or not. “Do I have watch tonight?”

“No, Chuckles and I have first watch. Rosie and Max have the next, and Tiny the morning watch.”

“Thanks. I’m calling it a night.” She was in no mood for company. She hadn’t been since the fighting at the Storm Coast. She was not handling the after-effects of killing as well as she had first thought.

“Cara, can I come in?” Mia asked.

Cara pushed open the tent flap. “Sure, come in. You are welcome in here, Solas is not.” She saw him at the campfire. His shoulders relaxed when he saw her. Did he really think she would run because he’d made her uncomfortable? Avoid him yes, run away no.

“Are you alright?”

“Honestly? No, I’m not. I’m a mess.”

“Do you want to talk about it? If I didn’t have Elaina back at Haven to talk to I think I would go mad with all this.”

Cara took and then let out a deep breath. “So I’m sure you noticed that I don’t use a lot of magic when fighting.”

“I had assumed it was because you preferred other methods.”

“Kind of. The truth is, I have almost no memories of using magic. Solas confronted me about it earlier. He’s concerned that I lack control.”

“Ah, and he’s his usual know-it-all smug self about it.”

“See, you know him so well.” Cara laughed. “But yes, he gave me two options since I lack control over my magic at night. Neither one is acceptable, then he told me I was acting childish.”

“You would think, as smooth as he is, he would know to never call a woman childish.” She shook her head, and Cara snorted at her comment. “But none of this would be a big deal if not for the rest.”

“Right, I’m used to solitude. I don’t mind company during the day, but I need a certain number of hours alone to recharge. Being around people is draining. I can’t get that with him constantly following me around. Again, as if I’m a child.”

“We are all worried about you,” she said. “No one can go from near panic to everything is fine in one day of fighting. You have to figure out how to let go of it.”

“Oh, I’m not holding it in. Well, I’m not trying to. I was just lucky no one saw me retching behind the building while you found the dead scouts. I know I’m a bit over emotional right now. I always was a bit of a drama queen as a child.”

“Just know you aren’t alone in dealing with this. If you ever need to talk, I’m available.”

Cara took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I appreciate it. You wouldn’t happen to have extra paper and something to write with?”

“I do. I’ll be right back.”

Mia left the blank journal with her. Cara contemplated sneaking out the back of the tent and finding her way to Calenhad’s Foothold for a quiet place to think. It wasn’t far from camp, but it also would have been reckless and childish. She really hated all the turmoil in Thedas. She was used to riding out alone and connecting with nature to unwind. She couldn’t do that here without an escort.

* * *

_She sat at the window, looking out at the night sky. The soft blue glow of the lights around the garden below shed enough light to illuminate the grounds, but not enough to drown out the stars. Ripples of colors moved through the sky, and she felt the tingling of the Fade along her skin._

_She looked behind her at the room filled with ornate decorations. Gilded framed mirrors on the walls, crystal columns which spread like tree branches at the top and held up a ceiling of glass, mosaic tiles on the floor, and a canopy bed draped in translucent fabrics like the one she had woven with magic._

_She turned back to the window and looked out over the garden below. Trees in pinks and reds dotted the landscape while flowers of all kinds and colors lined paths and filled cultivated beds. As she looked over them names came to mind, and she realized that she knew what each of them were even though she had no memory of seeing them before. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fragrant breeze as it wafted through the open window archway._

_“I thought I might find you here.” A deep male voice spoke, as warm, strong hands rested on her shoulders. She leaned back against him and he placed a kiss on her temple._

_“Join me. The garden has visitors lingering still,” she said. He settled behind her and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. All of it felt right. She knew him, knew what he looked like without turning. She settled against him and sighed._

_“Feeling refreshed yet? I know today was taxing.”_

_She smiled and nodded. He understood these quiet moments were important to her. She enjoyed social events but needed time alone to recharge._

_“There is talk of sending colonies out to the other places,” she said. “They want me to lead one.”_

_“We will go together.” His arms tightened around her. “You won’t face it alone.”_

_“I know. It’s just…this is home. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”_

_“Our word is dying, love. If we stay, we perish with it. Home, for me, is wherever you are.” He turned her to face him, and she looked into his golden eyes. She reached out and brushed away the wisp of black hair which always fell across his forehead. Then traced her fingers along his temple toward his pointed ear. “You are trying to distract me,” he said with a smile._

_“Is it working?” she asked as she threaded her fingers through his hair, cupping the base of his skull._

_“It always does,” he said before his mouth slanted over hers. His tongue ghosted over her lips, a gentle request to allow him entrance. She parted them, and his tongue darted past seeking her own. She sighed and melted against him. His hands burned a trail over her skin through the thin gown. When she was breathless, he broke the kiss, lifted her up and carried her to the bed. They stood next to it, her hands lifting his shirt while his worked the ties of her gown._

_Then the sound of wolves howling filled the Fade, and the scene vanished. Cara stood there a moment, catching her breath, and realized the Dread Wolf had been watching her dream._

She woke with a start and sat up in her bedroll. Solas was sleeping nearby in his own. Damn him! He’d invaded her dreams after all, and she couldn’t confront him without giving away she knew who he was. Not only had he watched, but he had also ended it before anything more intimate happened. Why? And how much had he seen?

There was one thing about the dream she could no longer deny. She had been here. This was her home at one time. The warrior she had dreamt of was someone she had loved. She wondered what had become of him. Had he survived? The last memory of him was his capture.

It was still dark out, but she knew she wouldn't fall back to sleep. Cara dressed quietly and slipped outside. The first rays of light were beginning to gather on the horizon. Pink, orange, red, gold, and purple reflected against the clouds in the east. Iron Bull was the only one at the fire; the early morning watch had started about an hour before.

“Morning,” she said as she sat across from him. She reached for the tea and began preparing a cup. “Would you like a cup?”

“Yeah, I would, thanks.” He watched her make it in silence. When she handed it to him, he spoke. “Are you doing better this morning?”

“Some. It’s still a lot to take in all at once. Three battles, two rifts, dragonlings, and a giant, all in one day.”

“Yeah, the giant was awesome! Too bad the dragon got away. She sure was a beauty.”

Cara shook her head at his enthusiasm. “Before then, the most I had done was knock a guy on his ass and bloody his nose.”

“Anytime you need help letting off steam, let me know.” Surprisingly, there wasn’t a leering look on his face.

“And exactly what are you offering?” she asked.

“There are a number of things. Meditation, drinking, sparring; I know an exercise that helps work off stress and a few breathing techniques. I prefer sex, but it’s not everyone’s thing. Usually, the best things are those that make you cut loose in a way opposite from the norm.”

“I was going to keep a journal. Sometimes writing out what is bothering me helps. Especially troubling events. I write them out and then burn them. A kind of symbolic way of getting it out and then destroying it so it can’t haunt me. It doesn’t always work, but it usually helps.”

“Yeah, Stitches does that. He’s the company healer and hadn’t seen combat until the Blight.”

“Thanks, Bull. I’m going to go sit by the pool and watch the sunrise before I miss the rest of it.” He nodded as she stood, and she walked off with her tea. She walked around the pool of water to the edge of the cliff and sat with her feet dangling over. Remus curled up beside her. Sunrise was one of her favorite times of the day. Soaking up the sun’s rays was almost like recharging her internal batteries. At home, the kitchen and breakfast nook faced east, while the bedroom and private garden faced west. She enjoyed the sunrise each morning and the sunset each night.

“If you’re looking for Cara, she’s at the pond.” Cara heard Bull say.

Solas must have woken. Worried she had run away, he went looking for her when he found her absent from their tent. If not for the water he had to walk through to reach her, she wouldn’t have heard him approach. But then, she could also walk just as silently when she wanted to.

“I’m not a child who needs looking after, Solas.”

“No, you are not. It was inconsiderate of me to imply such a thing last night. _Ir abelas, lethallan._ ”

“Thank you, but it is not entirely your fault. I have been on edge since the first fight on the Storm Coast.”

He sat beside her. “Are you feeling less on edge this morning?”

“Some. Having pleasant dreams helped.”

“Oh?”

“Nothing worth mentioning. I’m sure you would find it rather boring.” She almost laughed at his look of disappointment, but she dared not. She stood. “Well, I suppose I should help with breakfast.”

“Then I shall take Remus hunting.”

Remus jumped up excitedly.

They would return to Haven today. The advisers had sent a raven yesterday requesting the Herald return to Haven to attend to important matters. Either they had enough support to approach the Templars and Lord Seeker Lucius, or they had received an invitation from Magister Alexius. Either way, she could offer insight, though she was afraid to tell anyone she had knowledge of any events to come.


	12. Trust and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She has accepted her past but is still reluctant to trust Solas with her secret. As usual, events seem to work against her and she may have no choice but to begin to trust him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-22-16 correction to grammar and changed POV from First to Third for all characters.

They stopped in Redcliffe on the way back to Haven. Mia and Solas had thought if Cara saw where they found her, it might trigger her memory. They meant well, but it was a painful reminder; the world she had thought of as home for so long was just an illusion. Maybe not a fair observation, she had a history there, had lived there longer than she had lived here, or so she imagined. She had no idea how long she had lived before the trip through the Eluvian and without any records of elvhen history she would never know.

Cara paced the area, and half hoped to find something that had crossed over with her. She supposed it was absurd. She didn’t even know if she had crossed over physically, though the injuries suggested she had. It was a long shot thinking anything other than she and Remus had come through. Even Remus was missing his collar when he was found. Perhaps some things were not allowed to slip through. She blinked at the tears that threatened to fall.

“Are you all right, Violet?” Varric asked.

“I had a necklace; I had hoped it might be here.”

“A gift from someone special?” Maxwell asked.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not here.” She saw only the soil darkened by blood, where she had lain. There was no use dwelling on it; that life, that world, was gone. “Is there a bookseller in Redcliffe?” she asked Mia.

“There's a dwarf near the docks who had some books. I didn’t stop to see what he had, though. We have an hour, but we should split up. A couple of us won’t be as noticeable as all eight of us.”

“I’ll go with Violet to the book merchant. He’s an old friend of mine. Decent dwarf, but he loves to haggle.”

“I will keep Remus with me,” Solas said.

“Thank you, he isn’t fond of crowds,” she said.

“Beardwall, how about a drink? Not enough time to get drunk, but enough to catch up on local gossip,” Iron Bull said.

“It’s Blackwall, sounds good after months of traveling.”

Cara couldn’t help but chuckle at his nickname for the bearded man. Iron Bull gave her a wink as the two of them walked off. No one else seemed to think it as funny as she did. Oh well, their loss.

“Varric, what brings you to Redcliffe? I thought you were in Kirkwall?” the dwarf asked.

“I was, but my friend here asked if I would travel with her to Haven. How’s business, Dern?”

“It was better before the mages showed up. They’re more interested in selling their books than buying new ones.”

“Oh? As in books on magical application?” she asked.

“I’m up to my stones in them. Can’t give them away. Have a look; I’ll give you a discount for every book on magic you buy,” Dern said then he turned to Varric. “I sent an order to your publisher but I'm getting the runaround. There's a demand for your books, but they want to raise the price on them. These people want entertainment but can’t afford to pay what she expects. Think you can help a friend out?”

While they talked business, Cara searched through the books. Many of them were similar to the one found in Haven, which meant they were worthless, but she managed to find three which held promise. Then she found it, hiding in the back, behind rows of worthless books. The tome was old and tattered. The enchantment protecting it from the passage of time was still strong. The gold embossed title and symbol on the front had nearly worn away, but the pages were pristine.

She held it in her hand, traced the letters on the front, and then traced the markings of the tree symbol on the center cover. She opened it and read the inscription. There were two, one in common and one in Elvish. In waking dream is freedom. Mala tara aravas, ir su aravel tu elvaral u na emma abelas. Tel’enefenim, lath sulevin, lath araval ena. (Your mind journeys, but the journey is longer when alone within. Never fear, be certain in need, and the path will emerge.)

She flipped through the pages and many of them were half filled, but the pages were enchanted. What was written was in Common, but it was incomplete. At first glance, the spells appeared unfinished, but they were done in cipher. Only someone able to unlock the code could reveal the hidden writing. This was exactly the kind of book she was looking for.

She placed the stack of books on his counter. The special tome stuck in the middle. “Let’s see what you’ve found.” Dern took the books and set them in two stacks. “These three here, 15 royals and I’ll throw in those two there for free.”

“Wait, you’re going to give me those two for free?” The tome she expected to pay the most for, was one of them.

“The book on herbs you can find anywhere. I have a dozen of them. This one?” He held up the precious book. “It’s gibberish, and frankly it makes me feel weird being near it. I almost feel guilty giving it to you. That book is no good. Besides, I owe Varric for getting me started. I’d still be bumping around Darktown selling poisons if not for him.”

“Thank you, Dern. I’ll be sure and recommend you to anyone looking for books.”  She added a blank journal and ink and he added her total.

“Appreciate it. Good luck with that book, and thanks for taking it off my hands.”

Cara stuck all the books in her pack and tried not to bounce on her toes in excitement. While he and Varric shook hands and said goodbye she slipped some coins under his ledger book. He would find it when he closed up for the day.

“Alright, Violet, what is so special about that book. You look like Bartrand did when he found a rare item.”

“It is rare indeed, one of a kind no doubt. It’s a spell book. The reason no one can read it, is that it’s done in cipher. It was probably the only thing of real value he had.”

“Shit, and you took it, just like that?” He sounded both awed and disappointed.

“Actually, I slipped him an extra 10 royals for it.”

“You’re all right, ya know that?”

“Thanks, Varric. I thought if I acted surprised, he’d realize it was worth something to me. Even if he didn’t know what it was worth, it felt wrong to cheat him.”

Cara didn’t have any other things she needed to do in Redcliffe. Any armor or weapons she would purchase and sell through Harritt so they returned to the gate to meet up with the rest of the group. Along the way, they passed an elderly elven man muttering apologies to his wife for not visiting her shrine during these troubled times.

“Sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but overhear. Perhaps, I could help you?” she said.

He looked at her for a moment. “You would help an old man out? You have the look of a city elf, but your weapons say otherwise. Are you Dalish then? Did you leave before you received your vallaslin?”

“Neither city elf nor Dalish, though in all honesty I don’t remember much. I do know how important it is to remember our loved ones and would be happy to take flowers to your wife’s shrine.”

“Few would help a stranger, especially in these troubled times.”

“If not for the kindness of strangers I wouldn’t be here. Let’s just say I’m paying it forward.”

He gave her the location in an area the scouts had marked but Mia hadn’t yet explored.

The storyteller was trying to interest people with tales of Redcliffe. When she spoke of Alastair as a young boy asking for stories and toy soldiers they stopped to listen. She told them of a spirit in the lake to the north. A spirit of Valor who likes blood lotus flowers is rumored to dwell in the lake. Cara filed the information away for later. It could be some time before they returned to Lake Luthias.

* * *

It should be a simple task taking flowers to a shrine. At least it would be easier for them than for an elderly man, due to the rifts, demons, and bandits. Just as they found a campsite, a bear attacked and Cara froze.

She felt the fear creep up her throat and steal her breath away. She tried to draw on magic to cast a barrier but couldn’t. The Large Bear barreled down on her, but she was rooted in place. Just as a giant paw was about to strike, she was flying, something had knocked her out of the way.

* * *

He tried to get to her in time but she was too far ahead. She was just out of range of the group when he cast his barrier. He watched as the paw was about to crush her, and then a blur came from the side and sent her flying. He breathed a sigh of relief and rushed to her. Soon he was next to her pulling her to her feet and pushing her behind him as he cast his spells.

“Carina, you can do this.”

She couldn’t see him, or hear him. She was still trapped in her fear. He cast another barrier spell over them and turned to shake her gently, to get her to focus on him, but they had limited time. The commotion alerted two more bears nearby.

“Cara, please! Look at me!” Finally, her eyes fluttered as she began to focus and she was back in the present.

“Solas?” She looked behind him, her face hardened and she stepped around him. Instantly the atmosphere changed. Her magic flared and the clouds turned dark as she called the storm and rained down lightning. For a moment, he watched in awe at the power she had just called forth. He knew the power was there, but this was more than he expected. She continued to surprise him.

* * *

When she finally came around Solas was gently shaking her to get her to focus on him. Just as she realized what had happened she saw the bear reach out to strike him. Cara finally felt her magic return. Now, her anger at her own weakness, and fear for Solas, brought a storm more powerful than anything she had expected.

Iron Bull and Blackwall were occupied with the first bear. Remus and Maxwell were battling another while Mia and Varric fought a third. Then behind Varric, a damn rogue came out of nowhere. Cara froze it, and Varric turned and shot an exploding bolt into him. She rained down lightning while her staff shot ice bolts and electricity. Just as the first bear fell, another joined the battle as well as another rogue. She could feel the disruption of the air behind her, spun, and froze him before he could sink both his daggers into Solas’ back. She struck him with the staff blade, and then spun behind him and struck again causing him to shatter.

“Nice one! Now can I get a little help over here?” Bull yelled.

Cara cast a barrier around as many as she could reach. Hers was nowhere near as strong as Solas', but it would help a little. “How many damn bears are there? Is that five or six?”

“I think that’s only four, Violet, but keep the lightning coming as long as you can,” Varric yelled back.

Electricity filled the air arching from her staff as she spun and threw it into the nearest bear, and then it arched into the others. Slowly each bear fell, one by one until only one was left. With a final slam of her staff, she sent electricity into the bear as lightning struck from above. Solas continued to cast ice at it and everyone else struck simultaneously. The last bear finally fell and Cara collapsed to her knees, the storm disappeared as fast as she had called it.

* * *

He was soon beside her, checking for injuries. He released the breath held when he found only minor ones. “I’m okay, just exhausted. I don’t think I’ve ever called a storm, let alone kept one going for so long.” She told him weakly and then passed out in his arms.

“Shit, she’s okay isn’t she?” Iron Bull asked. All of their companions surrounded him, their worry and affection for this slip of a girl clear in their faces.

“Solas, what was that? I didn’t know she could do that,” Mia said.

“I doubt she knew she could either. She will be all right. Thank you, The Iron Bull, she has a couple of bruised ribs from being knocked out of the way, but no other injuries. A day or two of rest and she will recover.” Remus whined quietly beside her. “She just needs sleep, _falon_.”

* * *

_There was a risk to approaching the man. She moved slowly, whining to show she meant no threat. He was afraid at first and then became curious. She needed him to be curious, needed him to follow. She crept closer, head and chest low to the ground, in a show of submission, friendliness. He began to relax. When he stepped forward, she stood and turned. A soft woof and then walked away. He stopped. She turned back, whined, and then began to walk again. He needed to follow. After a few failed attempts, he finally understood._

_He was hesitant at first, but she didn’t blame him. She was as afraid of humans as they were of her. They moved cautiously through the forest toward the mountain, closer to the cave where the babes were. She heard their voices on the wind. They were hungry again. She turned and yipped at the man urging him to hurry. Their cries would bring others and at this pace, she would have to leave the man behind or risk their safety._

_He understood and quickened his pace. Soon they were close enough for him to hear them and his steps found a new purpose. She raced toward the cave ready to defend them, but all was well. They both squealed in delight when she approached. Tiny fingers poked at her nose while a tiny hand pulled on her ear. She would miss them, but soon they would be toddling about and she could not continue to care for them._

_The Shepard put down his staff and knelt beside her. The babes looked at him with wonder. She doubted they had seen another human; at least they would have no memory of one. He reached for them and they grew silent. She huffed hoping to reassure them he meant no harm. He spoke to them in a language she did not understand. Lifted them up and set each on a knee. They pulled at the fur collar on his coat. He looked at her and reached a hand out slowly. She shied away from his touch at first, but his voice was soft and quiet. She allowed him to reach for her, allowed a gentle hand to rub over her shoulder and back. He would take them in; her work was done._

_She walked to the entrance to leave and he followed. When she went in the opposite direction of his home, he called to her. She hesitated, he was a sheepherder, and wolves were his enemy. She should move on. When she didn’t turn he followed. When she stopped he turned back motioning for her to follow him this time. The babes cried out to her as well. She sighed and followed cautiously._

_They reached his home and a woman came out to greet him. She cried when she took one of the babes. Talking excitedly and asking questions. He showed her the basket and motioned toward the edge of the forest where she hid in the shadows. The woman was frightened at first but called her closer. When she was near her, the woman knelt and the babe in her arms reached for her. She laughed and moved to hug her in a gesture of thanks. Then she stood and opened the door to their humble cottage, the man walked past her with one babe, yet she stood there waiting. She called to her, “Lupa”, and motioned for her to enter. She would have a home if she wanted it._

* * *

Cara woke in a tent with Mia beside her, placing a cool cloth on her forehead.

“You’re awake! Solas was certain you would sleep a few more hours,” she said.

Cara tried to sit up, but her body ached all over and the world spun.

“You really shouldn’t try to get up. You over did it with that storm. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.”

Cara gave up on sitting, any movement made the pounding in her head worse.

“I wish I knew where it came from.” She knew one skill mages had was a lightning cage, but what she had done was larger. “So what exactly happened? I remember the fight, but before that. The only thing I really remember was the bear coming at me.”

“Iron Bull was the only one that could reach you in time. He knocked you out of the way while we redirected the bear’s attack. All the noise brought the attention of two more, and then others that were nearby. I had no idea there were going to be so many bears in the area.”

“Well, it explains why I feel like I was trampled by a dragon,” she said.

Mia laughed. “I’m sure he will be happy to hear the comparison.”

“So how many did we kill? I lost count at five.”

“There were seven total, plus three mabari and two lyrium smugglers. They must have followed us from that last group of bandits we fought. They intended to injure us and let the bears finish us off, but your quick reflexes saved Varric and Solas.” As if on cue, he entered the tent. He gave them an irritated look.

“You should be sleeping still,” he said.

“A headache makes it nearly impossible,” she said. He nodded sat beside her. His hand slipped under her neck, cradled the base of her skull, and sent a wave of healing magic as well as a gentle wash of ice which eased the pain. “Mmmmm, thank you, much better.”

“I will leave you to rest,” Mia said as she slipped out of the tent. Then the voices of the others mixed with hers. “She’s awake, but needs to rest more.”

Solas handed her a mug. “Drink this; it will help restore your mana as well as help you rest.” He helped her sit up so she could sip the warm tea.

“Thank you.”

“We will return to Haven tomorrow after you have rested.”

“Again, I’m a burden rather than a help, and because of me, plans are delayed.”

“No, you were very helpful. Your storm was just what was needed. Not one of us was injured thanks to the distraction it caused the bears. We would still be here healing wounded instead of you simply needing rest.”

“I’m glad everyone else is ok, considering I was the one who ran straight into the mess.”

“We are all fortunate. You especially, since taxing yourself to such a state is not wise. It also raises more questions. No one in this age possesses such skill or talent.”

Cara sighed. Once again, she had given away more information than she wanted to. “Always with the questions, tell me, if the roles were reversed what would you do? Would you guard your secret well, or trust me?”

“Perhaps, we share a similar secret. Do you not sense it?”

Cara should have known nothing she had done had changed his perception of her. Her mind raced a moment as she thought just what he was implying about himself, but then she realized he simply meant he was also Elvhen. He’d shown he had some trust in her. She thought of the dream and how humans and a wolf had trusted each other. Could she do any less with Solas?

“There is still so much I don’t remember, I hadn’t realized what I sensed.” She chewed her lower lip. There were times she could almost sense him near before she saw him. When he was close, she was too overwhelmed to focus on anything but keeping her own feelings under control. “You’re right; there is no point in denying it.”

As soon as she admitted it, his aura changed. He had let his guard down, one he held as tightly around his emotions as he held on his expression. There was one less secret between them. _“Ma serannas, lethallan.”_

Cara handed him the empty mug, handle out, but instead his fingers curled around hers. She left her hand there a moment before slowly pulling back and settled back into the bedroll. “Now what?”

“Now you rest. When we return to Haven, we will continue your training. You must learn to contain your power,” he said.

“What about today? You know there will be questions.”

“This can be explained away as a rare event, but you cannot continue to display such abilities without drawing attention. None but other Elvhen will sense your aura; it is up to you if you choose to mask it.”

“I’m an open book to you, aren’t I?”

His smile made her breath catch in her throat.

“It is refreshing. A pleasing side benefit I did not expect to find when I joined.”

Her heart skipped a beat at his flirting. “Sweet talker,” she murmured.

Had she been sitting up she might have kissed him, but the sedative in the tea had caught up with her. As she drifted off, she thought of his partial confession. It was an unexpected deviation from the game, and she began to wonder what other things would be different between them.


	13. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short return to Haven to meet with the War Counsel and decide who to approach first, Mages or Templars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-22-16 chapter revised into third person POV and additional correction to grammar and sentences made for clarity.

Cullen paced his office. Each time he passed his desk the open box called to him. The pull of the lyrium was especially strong today. The Herald two days late getting to Haven wasn't helping. He'd begun to worry about them and was about to ask Leliana to send out more scouts when the report came in.

They had just reached the mountain pass and would be in Haven in an hour. The previous report the Herald had sent concerned him. The elf, Cara, was not having an easy time of things, not that any soldier had it easy during times of war, but her luck seemed to drift more towards bad luck.

The safety of everyone in Haven was his top priority, if she was a risk in the field he would need to find her another post. She had skill but lacked experience and temperament for the daily grind of constant skirmishes. He rubbed the back of his neck while he read the last report. Something about her latest display of magic bothered him. In all his years in the circle, he'd never heard of any mage displaying such power or talent. Only a handful of mages in each circle were permitted to research and learn combat magic, and those had to undergo rigorous tests to ensure they wouldn't be a threat.

This girl was not a circle mage. She hadn't gone through a harrowing, there was no phylactery for her, and the only word she was no danger was from another apostate. One whom, as far as he was concerned, wasn't qualified to give such a recommendation. He had never trained in a circle, and was more comfortable talking with spirits than with people, was all they knew about Solas. Cullen raked a hand over his face and sighed. He'd brought his concern to Lady Cassandra but she had reminded that he was no longer a Templar, and the apostates were their allies until they proved otherwise. Leliana and Lady Montilyet agreed with her.

She reminded him of Neria. She had been talented, confident, as well as selfless, and kind. All had been her undoing. Due to misplaced loyalty, she had helped a friend escape, a blood mage. She was made tranquil for it. When the tower fell to Uldred she had been among the missing. Her fate haunted him still. He'd been unwilling to help her escape, he'd put his duty before her, and had lost her, twice. His face contorted into a sneer. He'd allowed worse to happen in Kirkwall, but there he'd hardened his heart. He'd refused to find any common ground with his charges. He'd not felt guilt for the consequences they brought on themselves until it was too late.

All of it a painful reminder of the man he had become, the man he no longer wished to be. He stopped at his desk and stared down at the vial. It had been 4 months since he had last taken it. He could still feel it sing in his veins, quieter, but still present. Was his worry for the Herald and the team, the girl, or was he overreacting due to lyrium withdrawal? Some days he felt he couldn't trust his own judgment. A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. He quickly closed the box and placed it in the drawer.

"Come in," he said.

"Commander, the Herald and her team just reached the eastern gate, ser."

"Thank you. That will be all, recruit." The soldier crossed an arm over his chest in a salute and backed out the door. He grabbed his cloak and followed. He needed to see with his own eyes they were both well.

* * *

They entered Haven around mid-day. Mia noticed Cullen came out to greet them, something he had never done before. When their eyes met, she gave him a bright smile and saw the color in his neck creep up toward his cheeks. The poor man blushed at any personal attention she gave him but avoided her. She wasn't sure what to think.

She watched his gaze settle on Cara, she didn't blame him for finding the girl attractive. The pretty elf had a gentle quietness about her, almost innocence until she spoke. Then it was either some sarcastic comment, or a profound thought, and often not something she expected the girl to say. She looked young, but there was experience in her eyes, not with war, but with people, with life. Where had she lived to avoid bloodshed? She was a mystery to them all.

"We were worried you wouldn't make it back today," Cullen told her as he grabbed the reins of her horse. He held out a hand for her. She felt the heat of his fingers, through his leather gloves, as they curled around hers. The heat spread up her arm, and she felt a shiver of pleasure over her skin. She'd met many potential suitors over the last five years, but none made her feel anything. A simple touch, a hand offered in friendship or aide from Cullen and her heart skipped a beat.

"Cara was well enough for travel. She didn't want us delayed longer on her account," she told him.

"Was that wise? Considering how over taxed she was?" He looked at the elves in the back again and his jaw clenched as Solas helped her from her Hart. The stag swiped his head back but met the man's staff instead of his face. Cullen shook his head. "That beast hates everyone but her." He chuckled at the animal's antics as it was led away.

"I don't know enough about magic to have an opinion, but she was stronger today. We didn't expect trouble on the road, so there was no reason to linger," Mia said. "The missive I received said to return in all haste so we have."

"Yes, we have received an invitation from the Magister and have support with Orlisean nobles to approach the Lord Seeker. After you've settled, meet us in the War Room. Leliana would like Cara there as well."

"Cara? That's a surprise, is there something I should know about?" she asked.

"I think they want her help with a Dalish matter, beyond that I do not know," he answered.

"We will be there after we've eaten, say an hour from now?"

He nodded, turned to leave, but stopped and looked back.

"I'm glad to see you back safe," he said.

"Thank you, we have Cara to thank," she said.

He took one last look toward Cara. She saw him, waved and smiled. He gave her a short nod before he turned toward the gate. Mia caught her attention and waved her over.

"The advisers would like you to join us in the War Room. I told Cullen to give us an hour," Mia said.

"Me? I wonder why they want me in the War Room; I know nothing of strategy or troop movements, or even dealing with nobles."

"Cullen said something about a matter with the Dalish they wanted your opinion on." Cara looked at Solas in confusion, then back at her.

"I doubt I can offer much insight, but I will offer whatever help I can," Cara said. "I will meet you outside the Chantry in an hour."

* * *

"Welcome Carina, please do come in," Cassandra said.

Josephine and Leliana both offered a kind smile.

"Thank you, though I will admit I'm surprised to be here," she said.

"We received a missive from a clan of Dalish in the Free Marches. Only some of the message is in Common, the rest is written in elven. The only scout who can read some elven is not in Haven, and won't return for some time," Leliana said. "I had hoped you could translate it for us."

She handed her the parchment. Cara scanned the document and the elaborate script. At first, only a few words were clear, and she was about to tell her she couldn't read it.

"May I have parchment and pen?" Josephine slid some over and she began to write the words she did know first and soon found she could read them all.

"The message is from their Keeper, she apologizes for writing in elven, but she feared it might fall into the wrong hands. She claims their First and one of their hunters were in Haven at the time of the explosion. They have not returned, and with the loss of life, she fears the worst." Cara summarized the message she had written.

"Which clan?" Mia asked. "I know that Mahanon was here along with the First of Clan Lavellan."

"That is the clan named in the letter," she said.

"Mahanon was a friend of mine, as is their Keeper. I sent a message to them weeks ago; it should have arrived by now," Mia said.

"I intercepted that message," Leliana said. "It was not wise to inform them of their deaths until they admitted to sending spies into the Conclave."

"You should have told me," Mia snapped.

"I'm sorry, but our priorities are to seal the Breach and find those responsible. That two Dalish elves had slipped in as spies indicated the possible involvement of the Dalish. Until I had more information, I was not going to volunteer any knowledge of their presence."

"You also thought there might be a connection to myself," Mia said.

"Yes, with you unable to remember the events it was possible they had involved you in their plan. I do not believe this is the case any longer, but you do understand my concerns."

Cara saw Mia's knuckles turning white on the hand she clinched below the table. She didn't blame her. Mia simply nodded a response.

"I have scouts in the area and will send them a response, as well as a peace offering," Leliana told her, and then turned to Cara. "This is where you come in, I would like you to write the message, and wonder if you have some insight as to a gesture the clan would appreciate."

"I say we send soldiers to offer them any aid they might need preparing for winter," Cullen said.

"No, to send human soldiers to the clan would be seen as an act of aggression. Send some elven scouts and have them deliver food, healing herbs, and animal pelts,She wrote the message Leliana and Mia dictated.

"There are two more things to consider," Josephine said. "We have an invitation from Magister Alexius, but we also have enough influence with the nobles to approach the Lord Seeker."

Cara stayed silent; this wasn't her call. Whatever Mia chose, she was walking into a trap. Cara chewed her lower lip.

"Do you have some thoughts on this, Carina?" Leliana asked.

"I'm not sure my opinion can be taken without bias. As a mage, I would like to see the mages freed from the foolishness of their Grand Enchanter. From what I have heard of her, this is out of character. I wonder how far she has been manipulated."

"What does the Magister say about me?" Mia asked.

"Alexius' letter is so complimentary we are certain he intends to kill you," Leliana added.

"This won't just go away. Felix and Dorian say the Venatori are obsessed with the mark. I suspect they are behind the Breach," Mia said.

"If they aren't, they wish to capitalize on the power you control," Cara said. "The time magic Alexius is messing with is a serious concern."

"Yes it is; do you have any new information on how you were brought here? Do you remember where you are from?" Cassandra asked.

"No, I wish I had something helpful, but aside from the mage issue, leaving a hostile force in Redcliffe is a mistake. Especially, if Alexius can control time through magic," Cara said.

"I agree. We cannot afford to allow Tevinter zealots to have a hold in Ferelden," Mia said.

"Even if we could get into the castle, an Orlesian army marching through Ferelden would be taken as an act of war," Josephine said.

"There has to be another way in, an escape tunnel perhaps?" Mia asked.

"Wait. There is, it leads into the dungeon. We used it to free the castle and stop the siege of the undead," Leliana said. "We would need a distraction. The envoy Alexius wants so badly."

"Send the Herald in as bait? I won't allow it!" Cullen barked.

"She won't be alone; she simply holds his attention until we make our way into the castle," Cara said.

The door burst open and a tall, dark, and handsome man, waltzed in. "If you are going after Alexius, you need me. You'll never get past the guards, or his wards without my help," he said.

"This is Dorian, the one who warned us in Redcliffe," Mia explained.

"You don't have to do this, Herald. We can find another way or we can approach the Templars," Cullen said.

"I have a brother who is a mage, and a brother who is a Templar. Though both are home safe, I know the role each party has in this war, and what is at stake for them if they lose. If there is time, I would like to approach the Templars as well, but right now the Venatori are the closest threat," Mia told them.

"Alexius expects you there in two days. We will have to leave by noon tomorrow to be in Redcliffe in time," Leliana said.

"Then we'd best have a night off for everyone. I expect you all to join me in the Tavern for dinner," Mia said.

* * *

The tavern was loud and crowded. It was expected, considering the number of scouts and team members heading out tomorrow. They were sneaking into a castle, heavily guarded by magic and Venatori was all they knew. Cara knew what awaited them. Each cheer, each boast, and each fist pound to the table, made her jump.

She should have tried to relax and enjoy the night of fun, but couldn't. She wanted Mia to leave her behind, but it was a selfish thought. Was she really so cold to allow friends and companions to suffer for a year, even if they wouldn't remember it in the end, and not suffer with them? Her biggest fear was she wouldn't be strong enough to withstand the torture they would be subjected to.

"You are worried about Redcliffe, why?" Solas asked.

Cara closed her eyes and took a drink. The brandy no longer burned her throat, but the warmth spreading from her stomach was welcome, as was the slow haze clouding her mind.

"A dream, or a vision, I have seen something there that troubles me," she said.

"You are a seer? Should you not share this information with the Herald?" he asked.

"No, Mia will be unharmed. It is what the rest of us may face that frightens me," she said.

"Visions are not always accurate; they often do not play out as expected." He tried to reassure her.

Cara wished she could explain why she knew it would be bad for them. Instead, she smiled and squeezed his hand. "You're probably right. We know it's a trap, the risk of failing is slim."

"You don't believe that. You simply don't want me to worry for you," he said.

Cara caught the barmaid's attention for another drink. "Maybe I'm just a pessimist." She grinned at him and leaned close to whisper in his ear. "Or maybe I want you to try and take my mind off it."

"The drink has made you forward." He attempted to sound disapproving, but she heard the hitch in his breath as she spoke into his ear, and the quickened pace of his heartbeat.

She leaned back, shrugged and turned away. She didn't remember enough of her life before to remember the intricacies of flirting and attraction with elves. Each time he pressed, she had retreated; each time he retreated, she ignored him. The few times she had flirted had been to tease him, to see him caught off guard. Did he think her remark was another comment simply meant to pester him? Felissa brought her drink and Cara handed her the empty glass.

"Thank you; bring another the next time you come through," she said.

She looked a bit surprised but nodded.

"Is that wise?" Solas asked.

"Not at all, it's called letting go, cutting loose. You have heard of these things haven't you?" Cara saw Dorian through the crowd and raised her glass to him. He seemed momentarily surprised but raised his glass slightly in answer.

"When did you meet the Tevinter mage?" Solas asked.

"In the War Room earlier. He's sneaking in with Leliana. He and I will be disarming wards and other magical traps," she said.

"You are not entering the Castle with the Herald?" He sounded worried.

"No, initially I thought I was, but she is limiting that group to three including herself in hopes of not tipping her hand. I'm going in as the other magical expert." Cara started laughing.

"You may not find it so amusing when you are disarming wards," he said.

"I tried to explain I was no expert, but they refused to listen. Told me, anyone who could call and hold a storm for as long as I did, knew more about magic than anyone here, other than you."

"I see. Then forgo the next drink and we will work on disarming wards." He took the glass from her and set it on the table just out of reach.

"I wasn't finished," she said.

"You need a clear head to analyze wards and understand the steps to disarm complex combinations," he said.

"Logic puzzles?" she asked.

He nodded.

Cara smirked and leaned over him grabbing the glass. "I can do them in my sleep."

"You were unable to disarm a simple alarm on my door."

"True, but I didn't have any memories of using magic then; but, to humor you, I won't have another." Cara took one last sip and placed the empty glass on the tray Felissa had. "Take that to Lord Dorian, I believe he is drinking the same thing?" she told her of the drink previously ordered.

"He is, but I thought this was yours?"

"I changed my mind, it's been a long few days and I'm calling it a night." Cara tossed a coin on her tray, stood and waved to Mia. She and Cullen were sitting together with Varric and Maxwell.

She stepped out into the cool night air and took a deep breath. The mountain air was clean and inviting after hours in a stuffy tavern. She began walking toward her cabin. Solas hesitated outside the tavern door. She turned and looked at him. "It provides the same gossip no matter whose home we use."

He nodded and followed. Remus was sitting outside the cabin waiting.

"There's my handsome guy," she said rubbing the top of his head, ran a hand under his ear, and leaned down to kiss his nose. Cara could almost swear she heard Solas suck in a gasp. She smiled to herself and waved a hand over the ward on her door.

"When did you learn that? Do you remember more about magic?" He sounded disappointed.

"No, I agreed to tell you if I remembered anything from my past about magic. Remember the bookseller in Redcliffe? I found a few helpful books among the useless circle tomes." She pushed open the door and walked in. She pointed to the bookshelf and three books she had found. The fourth was at the bottom of her pack, she wasn't going to risk losing it if they had to leave Haven quickly.

He moved to the shelf and picked up the one on wards and runes. As he flipped through it, he smiled. "This is a treasure of information. You were fortunate to find such a thing."

"The others are just as helpful." One was on elemental magic while the other was on dreamers. All of them were rare items. He set it down and picked up the spell book.

"These books cover a lot of information but do not rely too heavily on the tomes. Seeing how a spell is done, feeling the magic that is called and hearing it described are all key to truly learning a spell."

"Worried I no longer need you to teach me?" she teased.

"That isn't…" he stopped. "I simply meant that magic is multifaceted."

She moved to him and pulled the book from his hand, intentionally brushing his fingers. Then turned from him and flipped to the last page she had read. The place was marked with a page of notes, questions she had about techniques used and other things she found unclear.

"It goes into great detail, I'm confident I can learn enough to refresh my memory." With her back to him, he couldn't see her smirk.

He stepped closer, took her elbow and turned her toward him.

"Or, you could harm yourself trying a spell you can't control."

Cara smiled at him and handed him the list of questions. "Maybe I took notes to ask you later?"

His shoulders relaxed, and his frown faded. "I believe we can work on these."

She reached for the hand the notes were in, curled her fingers around his. "We were going to work on wards, not techniques," she said softly.

"There is always time to work on technique," he answered just as softly. The hand on her elbow tightened and pulled her closer.

"Hmm, tempting," she said taking the paper from him. She stepped around him, placed it back in the book, and put the book on the shelf.

Cara shivered at the cold in the room and waved a hand toward the fireplace to light it. Remus moved closer to it and flopped onto the floor with a sigh.

"Shall we begin?"


	14. Remembering Redcliffe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Herald has just defeated Alexius and allied with the mages, but not every companion has forgotten the year spent in an alternate future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-22-16 Changed from First to Third POV and made corrections to grammar and sentence structure for clarity where needed.

Cara felt something cold on her face and opened her eyes to find Iron Bull supporting her head. Solas used ice magic to bring her around, that's what she'd felt. Tears filled her eyes. "You're alive!" she whispered. She remembered it all, but they were safe now. Remus stood with Leliana. "All of you, you're all alive."  
  
"Of course, we're alive, we are in Redcliffe Castle. The Herald has just allied with the Rebel Mages. You missed King Alistair and Queen Anora, they just left," Solas said.  
  
Mia and Dorian were at her side in the next moment.  
  
"Are you okay?" Mia asked.  
  
"I remember all of it."  
  
Dorian and Mia both paled.  
  
"That's not possible; your memories should have been erased with our return," Dorian sputtered.  
  
"What memories, what happened?" Solas asked.  
  
Cara struggled to stand. "I need some air, a moment alone, please."  
  
Mia nodded.  
  
Cara whistled at Remus and staggered toward the door. A flood of memories hit at once, like a giant wave crashing over her. She had to get away. She reached Hanin and leaped to his back. "Just run." She growled and he leaped away.  
  
At the edge of town, she let loose the storm. Some mages call fire when angry or hurt, others electrocute or freeze something; hers is a thunderstorm.

* * *

As Alexius cast his spell, she collapsed beside him, clutching her chest, but there was no injury. When she came around, he felt her aura, her magic, and her emotions barely contained. Something had happened in that short moment when Alexius cast his spell and a blinding light ended it.

"You're alive!" There was anguish in her voice as well as relief and surprise.  
  
They had witnessed something. How had she remembered when he did not? He followed her to the gate but before he reached her side, she leaped gracefully onto her Hart's back and bound away at full speed.  
  
"She needs a moment to come to terms with it all," Dorian said.  
  
"Come to terms with what? She was beside me the entire time," Solas asked.  
  
"What happened back there?" Leliana asked Dorian.  
  
The worry for Carina was clear on the man's face. "Alexius' spell sent Lady Amelia and myself a year into the future. We fought our way to Alexius to retrieve his amulet. She watched the three of you die before she died defending us so that we could return to this time."  
  
"Damn," Iron Bull said.  
  
"All of you were imprisoned, tortured, and exposed to red lyrium. I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. I was there for a day, but she suffered for a year," Dorian said.  
  
"I just worry that she's out there alone. How do we find her?" Mia asked Solas.  
  
"We follow the storm." He pointed to the clouds racing away from Redcliffe towards Haven. The storm was a product of her distress.  
  
"I will stay with the mages. You four find her and keep her safe. We would slow you down," Leliana told them.

* * *

Her mount was much faster than the one they had found for Iron Bull, and it took them half the day to catch up with her.  
  
"One of you should talk to her," Dorian said.  
  
The Herald stepped forward but Solas shook his head. "I should go." He wasn't sure what her state of mind might be and he was the only one able to dispel her magic if it came to it.  
  
He found her at the center of the storm, the wind lashed at him as he struggled to reach her. "Lethallan, please."  
  
"Stay away…I can't….."  
  
He was about to cast a disbursement spell but the storm ended; she had no mana left.  
  
"Dorian explained what happened. Ir abelas, but it will not come to pass; you changed it, now it is only a bad dream." She was shaking, crying, and exhausted from the effort of the storm. He knelt beside her and pulled her against him.  
  
"I wish it was just a dream. I shouldn't remember any of it. Like you, I should be unaware of what happened. But I do remember, I remember the torture, he tortured Remus. I close my eyes and I can feel the red lyrium scratching under my skin. I remember telling you…." She stopped.  
  
"Telling me what, Carina?" he asked.  
  
"It doesn't matter, you remember none of it. You aren't him." She pulled away from him and stood. "It is meaningless. Ir suledin." She wept and he was at a loss as to how to comfort her.  
  
Her laugh was bitter. "This is your fault!" He cringed. Yes, all of it was his fault. This world and the danger it was in were his doing. "Just before the end; you wished that I would remember, that I would tell you in this world." She hadn't accused him of the Breach, but for remembering.  
  
"Why did I want you to remember and what did I want you to tell me?" he asked.  
  
"I asked you that..." She shook her head. "It doesn't change anything. You may be the same man, but he had a year to think, just as I did. It's not fair that I remember and you do not. Ir abelas, Solas, but you cannot help me." The pain in her eyes tore at him.  
  
The Harts stamped their feet. The others had joined them now that her storm was gone.  
  
Mia went to her side and Cara wrapped her arms around her. "We'll make camp here. The mounts need the rest after that neck breaking pace," Mia said.  
  
As they walked off he wondered what she hesitated to tell him. Did she know, he had suspected for some time she did? He realized he wanted her to, it would change everything.

* * *

Mia walked to a shaded spot under a tree sat beside Cara. "Did you tell him what you whispered to him there at the end?"  
  
"No, because he's not him. I have to accept that, no matter how much my heart wishes otherwise." Cara leaned against her shoulder and cried. "It's not fair. I was supposed to forget, just as they did. I can't un-see it and I can't un-feel it. The pain that ripped at my heart, when I saw him dead at my feet; hurts even now, seeing him alive and well. Yet he remembers nothing, feels nothing."  
  
"Give it time," Mia whispered.  
  
Remus whined beside her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and cried. Cara was still crying when Solas lifted her and carried her to a tent. She didn't want him to care, yet she would have been hurt if he had ignored her. Her feelings were irrational. He stayed silent as if he knew pity was unwelcome now.  
  
Light broke through the tent. "I thought tea would help," Dorian said.  
  
Solas left. Cara lay there staring at the wall. Her tears were spent an hour ago. At least she hadn't had a panic attack.  
  
"Here, drink this, it will help you sleep, but keep you from dreaming." He held out a cup of tea. "I'm so sorry. I feel responsible for this. I did help him develop this magic after all."  
  
"It's not your fault, Dorian." Her throat was raw from crying. "If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer something stronger than tea." She had indulged in self-pity long enough. She was going to retrieve the brandy she had in her bag.  
  
He pulled a gold flask out of his cloak. "I thought you might."  
  
Cara took the flask from him and removed the cork.  
  
"One of Tevinter's finest brandies, it packs a punch, so go easy."  
  
"Pfft." Cara tipped the flask back, taking a long drink. It was sweet and strong, the familiar heat spreading out from her throat, and stomach as it warmed her limbs, was welcome. She handed it back to him and he took a drink as well.  
  
"I have another bottle, but this is hard to come by here in the south."  
  
"No problem, save your brandy. I have a bottle of Antivan Brandy in my bag." She pointed to the bag and he handed it to her. The brandy was at the bottom. On top of everything was the fabric. Cara should have left it back in Haven, but feared someone might find it. She took it out of the bag. It seemed to move on its own under her hand, or it was the way the pale, lavender color, shimmered across the translucent fabric.  
  
"What is that? It's beautiful!"  
  
Cara handed the fabric to him.

"Why it feels as if it is alive!"  
  
She'd thought the same thing the first time she held the completed fabric.  
  
"I made it on accident. I called some ancient elvhen magic lost for millennia. Solas says there is no name for it in the common language, in elvhen it is called tu'ena, 'to make emerge', or something like that."  
  
"What will you do with it?" he asked. "The color is remarkable. How did you make it?"  
  
"Would you believe I wove it out of flower petals?"  
  
His eyes widened with disbelief.  
  
"I didn't think so. Remind me to show you when I have the mana to cast the spell. I'm not sure what I will make with it."  
  
Cara reached into the bag, pulled out a small, fist-sized bundle that shouldn't have been there. Wrapped in the cloth was a deep purple rose, made of Amethyst or crystal. The color of it matched her eyes and her heart skipped a beat. So, he wasn't indifferent after all. She laughed nervously.  
  
"Maker's Breath! Is that? May I see that?" Cara handed it to him. "It's flawless. It feels like Amethyst, but the color is deeper." he handed it back to her, "it matches your eyes!"  
  
She took it from him, cradled it in her lap. "The night I made the fabric, I made this rose in clear ice. Solas dropped it and it broke. He put it back together and then spent an hour on a spell. I never asked him what he had done with it." She wrapped it back in the linen and returned it to the pack.  
  
"Remarkable," Dorian said.  
  
"Oh, I was looking for more brandy. Ah, here it is." Another drink and she soon felt the effects of the brandy. "I only keep it for medicinal purposes you know."  
  
"Of course, it's a multipurpose medicine," he said.  
  
"It is good for sore throats, colds, nightmares, and heartbreaks, it helps dull the pain. Thank you, Dorian. I needed this." Cara grabbed her boots.  
  
"You know, no one will judge you for staying in your tent for the rest of the night."  
  
"I will. I'll be damned if I let Alexius break me now!" She pulled on her boots and coat, wrapped the sash around her waist and stepped outside. She blinked in the late-afternoon sun and reached for her bow.  
  
At the campfire sat Mia, Solas, and Iron Bull.  
  
"Rabbit or ram?"  
  
All of them were surprised. Solas frowned and started to speak, but Mia answered first.  
  
"Someone else can hunt today," she said.  
  
"Why, because I should hide in my tent?" Cara shook her head. "I've wasted enough time today on self-pity."  
  
"Fenedhis," Solas cussed. "You should be resting, not hunting."  
  
She frowned at Solas as she walked out of camp. She wasn't angry with him but felt torn between the present and future. That he was being his usual, insufferable self; annoyed her.  
  
"I'll be back." Cara whistled to Remus.  
  
"Don't blame me! You asked me to help; I just did what you asked," Dorian said.

* * *

Cara was tired of nug and tired of ram, she wanted rabbit or pheasant. They moved silently through the forest until she found a suitable clearing. There was plenty of purple clovers as well as tall grass. She settled behind a medium sized boulder and set her bow on top of it. She set the quiver of arrows beside her. If Remus and Cara did this right, he would scare them up and she would shoot them. She heard the leaves rustle just before Solas settled behind her. The space between the boulder and tree was just big enough for the two of them.  
  
"You should not be out here alone." Magical energy rolled off him, he was angry.  
  
"I'm not, now hush or you'll scare away the game," she told him. "And you can clamp down on your magic, they will sense that too." Remus slipped around to the other side of the clearing and she waited for him to get in position. She pulled the brandy from her coat pocket and held it over her shoulder for Solas. She would wait until she got back to camp before drinking more. Just when she thought he wouldn't take it, his fingers brushed hers.  
  
"Carina," he began. "I…"  
  
"Do we need to discuss this now? I'd like to get dinner," she said.  
  
His hands gripped her waist making her face him, pressed her back against the boulder and knelt between her knees.  
  
"I am not indifferent," he said.  
  
"I know that," she said. "I lived a year no one remembers. I'm still wrapping my head around it. I saw those I cared about dying, I saw you die." She thought she'd have no tears left until she felt it fall. She tried to calm her nerves.  
  
"I am very much alive." There was a fire in his eyes, passion, and desire; emotions she had seen in his eyes in the future. His mouth brushed over hers and his tongue plunged past her teeth and sought hers. She tasted the brandy on his lips and tongue as she kissed him back. The heat from the brandy was nothing compared to the fire he awakened with his kiss. She pushed against his chest to break the kiss.  
  
"Please don't, not now," she said.  
  
He pressed his forehead against her. His hands rested on her hips. "Ir abe…"  
  
"Don't apologize. I couldn't bear to hear this was just a mistake."  
  
Cara focused on the clearing. She grabbed two arrows, set one on top of the boulder, and notched the other. She gave a short whistle to Remus when she was ready. She hoped he would find a pheasant or similar and was in luck when two flew out and up. Their flight path was perfect to take both birds before they were out of range. A third flew up, it would be out of range before she grabbed another arrow, but Solas froze it. "Ma serannas." She gave Remus an all-clear signal and stood in front of Solas.  
  
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers burning a line along her cheek. When his hand cupped her cheek, she pressed against it closing her eyes. For just a moment, she imagined he felt here what he felt in the future, but she knew it was too soon. For him, it's been a few weeks. She had a year to think about him. Cara stepped away to meet Remus and gather the pheasants. The rabbit scurried for cover just as Solas froze it, Remus ran to retrieve it.  
  
They found two more rabbits along the way to camp, giving them plenty of food for all five, plus a rabbit for Remus. Cara walked into camp and handed the game to Iron Bull.  
  
"One of those rabbits is for Remus."

She went to the tent to grab clean clothes and her bag. She wanted to bathe, wash away some of the memories. There was a wide stream just east of camp with plenty of cover.

* * *

Cara heard a twig snap as she undressed. She called lightening and readied for any enemy who came around the hill.  
  
"It's me!" Mia squeaked.  
  
Cara shut down her magic. "Sorry, I'm a bit on edge still."  
  
Mia came around the hill with her things. "You rushed out so fast I didn't have a chance to ask if I could tag along. I hate bathing in cold water and hoped you would warm it for me."  
  
She reminded Cara of her daughter in so many ways.  
  
"Is it Solas?"  
  
"I don't know if I should slap him or kiss him sometimes."  
  
Mia laughed. "Did you slap him?"  
  
"No, he kissed me, our first kiss. I know he's interested, but…" She threw a rock downstream and watched it skip five times before sinking.  
  
"So what's the problem?"  
  
"He was going to apologize, just a mistake. Worse, he came to me out of pity. I can't undo a year worth of feelings and for a moment, I wanted to believe that he felt the same."  
  
"I think I'd feel the same."  
  
Cara warmed the water. It was a simple spell that required little mana. Mia talked while they bathed. Cara thought she wanted quiet, but Mia's easy chatter was soothing. It was how she was with everyone; she wasn't placating to keep the elf happy, she was caring person.  
  
When the water cooled, they moved to the shore. Cara felt refreshed after the strain of the day.  
  
Mia sat next to her and took the comb from her hand. "Sorry, when we were in the future your hair was short like mine and it broke my heart to see you without it." She combed the tangles out of it and then braided it for her. Cara wouldn't tell her why she cut it. No one needed to know what had been done to break her. The consolation was in this world, they were only memories. In time, they would fade, as would any nightmare.  
  
"How about you, the future had to mess with your head too?" Cara asked.  
  
There were tears in her eyes. "Not so much for me as what the rest of you suffered. It was a kindness to think none of you would remember. I don't understand why you do."  
  
"I have a theory about that but I don't know if it's possible," she said. "The Chantry would scream 'Make her tranquil'; if they knew."  
  
"Cassandra isn't here, and I'm not in agreement with the Chantry on their treatment of Mages. So, hit me with it. I have a brother who is a Templar and one is a mage. We've had many interesting family debates about magical theories."  
  
"I think it's because I died just as you were returning to the present. When Alexius first began his spell, I was fine. The moment after Dorian made it go wild I felt as if someone had run a blade through my back; but there was no wound, no blood, and then everything faded out and went black. When I woke up looking at Solas, I remembered seeing him dead as I lay beside him dying. In that moment, I was in both places at once and it all carried over when the spell was reversed."  
  
"So you think it was somehow a blood magic spell?" she asked.  
  
Cara let out the breath she held. "An accidental one, but it's a possibility."  
  
"Damn. Okay, let's keep that between us. I don't need anyone thinking badly of Dorian or you. But you should talk to Solas about it."  
  
Cara didn't know if he would have any more insight than she did.

* * *

Cara was tired of the sideways glances as if she might lose it at any moment. She knew Mia was concerned, but Iron Bull made her nervous. She sat alone, leaned up against a wide boulder, facing away from camp. Solas' bare feet stopped in front of her, he'd brought a plate of food. Cara hadn't thought about food. Hunting was just part of her normal routine, doing things that were normal was important. At least that was what her therapist told her when she divorced 15 years ago.  
  
"Ma serannas, Solas," she said taking it.  
  
He'd brought fruits, a bit of pheasant and rabbit as well as a potato which had been baked in the hot coals. He stood there, waiting; she scooted over, a silent invitation. He slid down the boulder, sat beside her, and held out the bottle of brandy from earlier. She pulled the cork and drank.  
  
Cara held out the bottle and he took it, taking a sip. He studied it.  
  
"Not to your liking?" she asked him  
  
"On the contrary, it is quite pleasant."  
  
"Yeah, well just be careful. It goes down so smooth you forget how much you've drunk. Next thing you know, you're standing in the middle of camp, telling everyone your deepest secrets." She took it from him and drank again before putting it away. She was buzzing, but not close to being drunk. She hoped she'd be able to sleep.  
  
"Perhaps you should drink more." He chuckled when she nudged him with her elbow.  
  
"I found the rose earlier, before I went hunting. Thank you, it's beautiful."  
  
His arm slipped around her shoulders. "I am pleased you like it." His show of affection was surprising. Cara raised an eyebrow in question; he gave her shoulder a squeeze and dropped his arm to his side. They ate in silence, enjoying the evening, and the company. Moments like these were worth remembering. These were the moments to cherish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ir suledin= I will endure


	15. Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara is learning to cope with the memories of Redcliffe, and finding she has more friends and support than she realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-22-16 Changed POV from First to Third, and cleaned up grammar errors and sentences for clarity.

_“No, No, No, I can’t be here again.” She was back in Redcliffe Castle. Her companions were gone. Where she wasn’t sure. She raced through the halls, someone had to be here; even an enemy would have been preferable to the eerie silence that greeted her._  
  
_Cara headed toward the throne room but the hall seemed to grow with each step. She stopped short; it was a nightmare. She took a deep breath and thought of camp instead. She should have been able to manipulate the Fade and stop the nightmare from continuing._  
  
_Instead, she found herself splashing through the dungeon. At least she had weapons. Cara continued the search for companions. Every cell was empty, open as if someone had already let them out, or maybe….But no, she wouldn’t think it. The last thing she needed to do was give the demon more fuel to torment her._  
  
_An eerie laugh sent a shiver down her spine. At least she was no longer alone. She wouldn’t run and hide, it would be futile anyway. She moved toward the sound. Each time she got close, it moved away, but at least it was moving toward the throne room._  
  
_Nearing the dock, instead of mages and demons, she found only bodies of Venatori. Cara felt relieved when she entered the courtyard. It was different from the last time she was here. There was no massive Breach, and no floating rocks or broken bits of buildings. Just like it was when she had snuck in with Leliana and Dorian. Was she behind them then? If so, the path was down the stairs and through the door. There she would find the outer hall._  
  
_Cara hesitated at the door, worried at what she would find. This dream seemed to change between the two timelines with each door she went through. She pushed it open._  
  
_“Ah, there you are. I was beginning to think we lost you,” Dorian said. The hall was broken and littered with dead Venatori as well as splattered with demon ichor._  
  
_“I found the last piece for the door, now we can take care of Alexius and get back,” Mia said._  
  
_Cara nodded; she was not looking forward to playing this out again._  
  
_“Where is Solas?”_  
  
_He was nowhere to be found._  
  
_“Who?” Dorian asked. “Oh, the other elf; he was just here, perhaps he went looking for you?”_  
  
_'Great, just great.' They went through the door and the scene changed again. The outer hall shook and was filled with the sounds of battle. The only people in this room were Leliana, Dorian, Mia, and Cara._  
  
_Before she could prepare for what would happen next, the doors crashed open. Solas’ lifeless form was thrown at her feet…_  
  
The scream woke her and also alerted everyone in camp. When Solas pushed open the tent flap, she screamed again. “No! You’re dead!” Her mind was still reeling from the nightmare. Her magic rose, as she scrambled backward, then nothing.  
  
 She woke in his lap, one hand cradling her head. “ _Ir abelas_ , Carina,” Solas said. “I cast a disbursement spell. I meant to shut down your magic, not knock you out.”  
  
She curled to sit up, leaning against him. “I was there again, in the Castle...I tried to change the dream but couldn’t. I can’t go through that again. I can’t.”  
  
“You’re safe now, it was only a dream.” His arms tightened around her.  
  
It helped a little, but it’s not just a dream. It did happen; it was real.  
  
“Are you alright?” Mia pushed the tent flap open and stepped inside.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Cara said.  
  
She sat beside them and took her hand. “It was Redcliffe, wasn’t it? When…” She hesitated a moment. “That was the same scream you made when…”  
  
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Sorry, I woke everyone.”  
  
Mia squeezed her hand. “Don’t apologize! Nightmares are beyond our control. Besides you didn’t, we were in the process of switching watch.”  
  
“I should have insisted you drink tea before retiring,” Solas said.  
  
“It’s not your fault, Solas. It’s no more your fault I had a nightmare than it is I remember what happened in Redcliffe.”  
  
The tent flap opened again, it was Dorian. “I brought tea. No arguments, you are going to drink it this time.”  
  
“Agreed.” Solas took the mug from Dorian and handed it to her.  
  
Cara took the warm cup. Dorian and Mia left while she sipped the tea.  
  
“All of it, lethallan.” He said when she moved to set the half-full cup down.  
  
Since he made no move to remove her from his lap, she stayed. Cara finished the tea and curled against his chest. It was then that she realized he was shirtless and his breeches were unlaced making them ride low on his hips. She didn’t know when she would be this close to him again. She slowly slid her hand up his chest and smiled at the tremor that went through him and his quick intake of breath. She felt the effects of the sedative and knew she would be asleep soon. “Too bad I won’t be awake much longer.”

* * *

Dorian watched the wolf pace outside her tent. The animal was a wonder to him. He’d heard the legends of elves and wolves, but he’d never expected to see such a pairing.  
  
“She is safe, falon. She is sleeping,” Solas said to him. The wolf slipped past him into the tent.  
  
“She made that sound when you died.” Dorian shuddered to think about it. He’d never heard such a cry of anguish before. “You do realize how hard this is for her?” On their short trip to Redcliffe and entering the castle, he’d chatted with the girl. She was unlike any elf he’d known. While everyone else tolerated his presence, she had accepted him as an ally. He was certain her show of friendship was genuine.  
  
“Why does a Tevinter mage care about an elf? In your homeland, she would be little better than a slave.” Dorian heard the same contempt in the man’s voice he heard from nearly everyone outside of Tevinter. He was becoming used to it.  
  
“Not everyone from Tevinter accepts the status quo. Carina has been kind to me and I am grateful for that. I don’t want to see her hurt more than she has already suffered.” He had seen them together before they reached Redcliffe; now things between them were different, she was vulnerable. “I only mentioned it because I suspect she is important to you.”  
  
“She is. Thank you, for looking out for her.” Considering the obvious contempt the mage had for him, Dorian hadn’t expected to hear the confession nor the thank you.  
  
“I feel responsible, when we began to develop the amulet, I never dreamed it would work. The foolishness of youth, ignoring the ramifications of such magic.” He and Alexius focused on what they could do, instead of asking if they should. “Nothing I do will make up for what she has suffered, but I will do all that I can.”  
  
“If I know Carina, she does not blame you. She is stronger than you think and in time she will put it behind her,” Solas said.  
  
“I hope you’re right. No one should suffer that and remember.”

* * *

They had been back in Haven for a week. Here, Cara found time to herself. She avoided almost everyone. It was the way they watched her as if she would crumble if they said the wrong thing. She just wanted to put it behind her. She was tired of it all.  
  
If not for Solas’ intervention, the nightmares would have taken their toll. Even so, her usual six hours of sleep had dwindled to four. She knew something needed to change soon, or she wouldn’t be any use to Mia in the field. The report was taking longer than she liked as well, and Leliana was impatient for details.  
  
Fiona, Iron Bull, and Solas had mentioned enough things to Mia in the future they began to plan, but Leliana wanted more. With Cara's memories of the future, Leliana hoped to be two steps ahead of the Elder One. Cara knew much more than they suspected. She just wished knowing these things meant preventing them. All she could do was help prepare and advise. Thinking of that time was stressful, so she took breaks from writing often.  
  
The spell book was a welcome distraction, but not enough to keep the walls from closing in. Practicing magic was the perfect excuse to slip outside of Haven.  
  
Cara waved at Cullen as she neared him. He was training recruits as usual. His commanding voice certainly got their attention. She planned to walk past but he stepped out to stop her.  
  
“You aren’t going far are you?” he asked.  
  
“No, just around the bend to the clearing near the logging site, I have some spells to practice and don’t want an audience. Remus is with me, I should be fine this close to Haven.” The tightening of his jaw said he didn’t want her out there on her own. “I appreciate the concern, but I need time alone, to relax.”  
  
“I understand. Just don’t go past the far gate. You may not like it, but I’m responsible for the well-being of everyone here. Stay within shouting distance,” he said.  
  
“I promise, Commander.”  
  
Cara walked around behind the cabin and through the open gate into the small clearing between the lake and the trees. There was plenty of space to practice the Fade Step. The first attempt didn’t go as expected. She traveled farther than planned and hit a tree. She was thankful no one was around to see it. Rubbing her shoulder, she decided she had best learn to cast a barrier as well, or a stronger one. She hadn’t been able to make hers last as long as Solas’. After an hour, she was satisfied with her control of both spells.  
  
The other spell she wanted to test had to do with nature. She felt a deep connection to the world around her. She wondered if she had the ability to make plants grow, or manipulate branches and vines to aid in combat. Cara gathered some elfroot seeds and scattered them on the ground. She held her hand over them and felt the telling itch in her palm. She watched in awe, as the ground around the seeds warmed, and the snow melted, wetting the earth and then the first tender leaves burst forth and stretched toward the sun. She was pleased it worked. This was the first step but she wanted to do more.  
  
Cara walked back to the front of the cabin and down the path with her hands out from her side, willing the seeds in the ground to grow. Many of the plants she knew were at least known to Thedas and as she thought of each type, they sprang from the ground. Next to the boulder, she called for wisteria, and watched it vine up and over the large rock, it began to bud and flower clusters opened. Their fragrance filled the air. Around the base of the boulder, she also called forget-me-nots, white phlox, and buttercups. She found a sapling, dormant from the late fall weather, and she willed it to grow. It took more mana to grow the tree than it did the plants, but eventually it was as tall as she was, and began to bud out leaves and flowers. The smell of cherry blossoms filled the air.

* * *

Cullen stepped on a branch, the sound of it breaking startled her out of her spell. She spun and he felt the air around them change. The clouds darkened and his senses were filled with the sharp tang of electricity. The wolf growled a warning growl.  
  
“Forgive me! I didn’t mean to startle you.”  
  
Instantly the atmosphere settled, though the wolf still eyed him warily. He was impressed with how easily she shut it down. Even experienced circle mages struggled with ending a spell during casting stages.  
  
“Extraordinary! I’ve never seen such magic.” He pointed to the plants she had grown.  
  
She shrugged, “it is nothing.”  
  
“How does it work? Do you create the plants from nothing?” He saw her frown and wince. He recognized the signs of a headache.  
  
“Are you alright?”  
  
“I’ve not been sleeping well,” she sighed. “It’s just a headache. I….It happens when I test new spells. I’m not sure how to explain it. Knowing how the seed grows is most of the spell, or at least that’s how it worked.”  
  
“You did all this without knowing the spell?” He didn’t know if he should be impressed or worried. “How many other spells have you just ‘learned’?”  
  
There was a new hardness to her smile. An expression he knew all too well. “I had a lot of time on my hands in Redcliffe.”  
  
“I had a verbal report from The Herald and Dorian. I can’t imagine what you went through.” He saw the tightening around her eyes, the steeled hardness of a seasoned soldier just before a battle. It was quite different from the reports he’d read of her at the Storm Coast.  
  
“I will have my report in a few days. It’s been difficult summarizing a year of events into something that won’t take a week to read.”  
  
“It can’t be easy having to keep going over it.” He had only a few weeks of torment at the circle, he couldn’t imagine if it had lasted a year.  
  
“I’ve found writing it down to be helpful. Which is why it’s taking so long, I have to write out the personal stuff to get to the information that the Inquisition needs.”  
  
“Don’t push yourself; your well-being is more important than the report.”  
  
“If what I know helps our fight against this Elder One, it’s worth a little discomfort on my part. Burying such things doesn’t make them go away, it creates more of a problem because it has a chance to take root and grow. Like a weed in a garden.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I’m a visual person and creating an image helps me put it in perspective.”  
  
“Don’t apologize. Finding a way to deal with the effects of war is as important as skill in battle. You can’t just teach a recruit how to fight, you have to give them outlets for stress or you break them. Everyone has different ways of coping.”  
  
“Thank you, Commander, I should head back, it’s almost lunch time and I had a light breakfast.”  
  
“I’ll walk back with you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Would you ---that is --- I wondered---”  
  
“Cullen, I…” She bit her lower lip. “I’m not sure how to explain this. While we were in that alternate future, Solas and I met often in the Fade. I care about him a great deal. I’m not sure if things will play out the same or not, but I can’t just turn those feelings off. So if you are fine having lunch as friends then I accept.”  
  
“Forgive me; it was selfish of me, I would be happy to have lunch with a friend.”  
  
“Don’t apologize, Cullen. I think I understand.”  
  
“You remind me of someone I knew long ago, someone I failed to protect. I would be grateful if we began again as friends.”  
  
“I can do that. Thank you, Cullen, right now I really need a friend.”

* * *

She followed him to the tavern but hesitated outside the door.  
  
“You can’t avoid everyone forever, Cara.”  
  
“I know, it’s just…” She bit her lower lip. She was too used to people dismissing her due to her height that she had grown to hate being vulnerable or looking weak.  
  
“Everyone here has been through something. You aren’t the only one who has woken someone in the middle of the night screaming.” Cullen was right; most nights were interrupted by someone waking from a night terror. “It was a week ago, they’ve let it go, so should you.”  
  
After the second nightmare woke part of Haven, Solas began watching her dreams. Cara knew eventually she would have to face the demon who plagued her; it was the only way for the dreams to stop, the only way to regain control of the Fade while she slept. She was thankful he didn’t push her to face it, even while she wondered why not. Oddly, she looked forward to meeting him in the Fade, yet was nervous at the thought of being near him in person. He was right; things were easier in the Fade.  
  
“Violet! Glad to see you,” Varric said. “We need you to settle a bet for us.”  
  
She groaned inwardly. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “What bet is that Varric?” To get the answer she had to follow him inside.  
  
“Well damn. Looks like I lose,” Iron Bull handed Varric a few coins.  
  
“Commander, were you a part of this?” Cara stared him down until he squirmed.  
  
“Naw, Curly here didn’t know about the bet. I just mentioned that you hadn’t been eating enough lately,” Varric said, letting Cullen off the hook.  
  
“Varric, you sly devil,” Iron Bull shook his head. “It’s not outright cheating, but it’s damn close.”  
  
“Ah, there you are,” Dorian called waving Cullen and her over. “You found her, good.”  
  
“You too?” She felt something hit the back of her head. Sera was snickering over her plate while she dug the item out of her scarf, a cherry. “Thanks, my favorite.” Cara popped the tart fruit in her mouth stem and all. Rolled the fruit a moment with her tongue, then tossed Sera the stem.  
  
“Shite! She tied it in a knot with her tongue!” She held it up for the tavern to see, her cheeks pinker than they were a moment ago.  
  
Cara bowed to the cheers and whistles. She thought Blackwall was grinning underneath his beard, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. Flissa walked past with a bowl of cherries; Cara blushed when she suggestively rubbed against her. Cullen was turning pink as well.  
  
Dorian clapped a hand on her back. “I knew there was a reason I liked you,” he said pulling out a chair for her. “Join me, please; you too, Commander.” The only ones missing were Mia and Solas.  
  
Cara was surprised to find she was able to enjoy the company and the conversation. She knew it didn’t mean everything was back to normal, but at least it was an improvement. The next issue was to survive the attack on Haven she knew was coming.


	16. Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The advisers begin to doubt Cara because of the friends she chooses to make. Even the one person she thought was on her side seems to doubt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italic dialog is elven spoken between Cara and Solas. There is far too much of it to attempt to translate it. They only speak it extensively when alone. Around others they speak common, with common elven phrases occasionally thrown in.
> 
> Edit: 5-22-16 changed POV from First to Third, and cleaned up missed grammar mistakes and cleaned up some sentences for clarity.

All of Haven was preparing to seal the Breach. Mages were learning to control their magic. The proximity of the Breach increased their risk of it going wild. At his insistence, Solas and Cara spent hours each day going over her spells. He was frustrated with her use of the staff. She used it like a bo staff.

“Why are you so offended, Solas? Is the staff not as much a weapon as the magic?”

“You waste energy. You miss opportunities to draw strength from the Fade, to replenish your mana. You shorten the effects of many spells. Done correctly they will persist, but not if you resort to bashing at your opponent. It is a staff, not a stick.”

“Very well,” Cara said relenting. “I will treat the staff as a new weapon instead.” She wasn’t thrilled with having to unlearn years of training to make better use of her magical abilities, but he was the expert. She was not a battlemage; she’d never learned the spells needed for offense. She had no prior training with staff use aside from karate.

This seemed to satisfy him and he began again.

Dorian came out to watch. “I rather like her dramatic flair,” he said. “It will distract the enemy. Why change it if it works?”

“Even you understand the importance of conserving mana during battle. Do you cast a single spell or a series of spells that require less effort and have a greater effect? She will only benefit from learning to cast magic efficiently,” Solas said.

The next day Dorian asked to join. Solas wasn’t pleased but he allowed it. Cara understood his reluctance. The spells Dorian cast clumsily were second nature to Solas. Spells perfected by elves from before the fall of Arlathan. Solas resented teaching Dorian what his people should never have learned in the first place.

Cara was frustrated with her progress but Solas seemed pleased with it. When she resorted subconsciously to a move she had known for years and called second nature, he was behind her. His body along hers, showing her how the move should feel. His smooth voice whispering in her ear.

“Magic is a part of your whole being.” He placed a hand around her waist and flat against her stomach. “You should feel it here, and here.” His slid his hand up to just below her breasts. “Not just here and here.” He tapped a temple and squeezed her hand.

By the fourth day, she was half-tempted to continue to screw up spells. She was enjoying his very ‘hands on’ way of teaching.

After a week, they drew a crowd. Many of the Circle mages came to watch.

“Why learn that way, as opposed to the way the Circle teaches it?” one asked.

“If you have to ask it is beyond you,” Solas said.

He was willing to teach, but not willing to explain his methods, or where he had learned them.

“But why is your way better?” another asked.

Solas' jaw twitched. Cara thought he might not answer, or would give another biting retort. She spoke before he could.

“Try the spell both ways and you will have your answer.”

The true value in his method was how easily she could move to the next spell and the combination effect it created. Once she saw the pattern, it became easier. Similar to sparring moves. To stop and attack with an opposite move unless it is already blocked, is a waste of energy. In magic, the chances of them deflecting your next spell are slim, unless you are fighting another mage. Then the key is to inflict the most damage possible, as early as possible, without depleting all your mana with one spell.

“You learn quickly, lethallan.” He sounded pleased with her and she was glad she hadn’t intentionally messed up the spell. Even if his lessons were no longer ‘hands on’.

The mages still argued over the superiority of the Circle's teachings.

“Those that want to learn are welcome to stay, the rest of you, get the hell out of here,” Cara said.

There were a few indignant comments about how mages should be willing to discuss different applications of magic.

“This isn’t a laboratory or a classroom. This is combat magic; if you want to quickly and effectively bring your opponent down, then stay. Otherwise, you’re just here to insult us. The next mage that opens their mouth had better be ready to back it up. They will be my next sparring partner.” The air around Cara danced with electricity, her natural talent.

Solas had his back to the majority of the group. The amusement in his eyes was worth it.

“That is enough for today, Carina.” It was the first time in a week she was thankful the lesson was over, and the three of them walked back to Haven together, ignoring the wary looks from mages and Templars.

“Would you really have used the next smart mouth as a target?” Dorian asked.

“Damn right I would have! Assholes. Only a child needs a complete explanation as to ‘why’ something is done a certain way. They think they are being smart by asking questions, but understanding comes from application and thinking it through. A question is to clarify something you don’t understand.”

“You surprise me again, Carina,” Solas said. “Though, I am disappointed none continued to press their luck.”

"So am I."

“I say, does that mean you think I’m smart, Cara?” Dorian asked.

Cara looped her arm through his and leaned her head against his arm.

“Of course, I do, love. You’re smart and pretty.”

“So good of you to notice my finer qualities.”

Cara peeked behind him; blatantly looking at his ass. “Oh, I’ve noticed your finer qualities.”

“I suddenly feel underdressed. You, my dear, are positively wicked.” He brought her hand up and gave her fingers a teasing kiss.

Solas wasn’t amused. He excused himself soon after they passed through the gate. Cara gaped at him as he stalked away. She wasn’t sure if he was upset that she was making friends with a Tevinter mage, or if he actually thought she was interested in Dorian.

“Did I do something to offend him?” Dorian asked after Solas was well out of earshot.

“No, I think it was me. I do believe he’s jealous that I might take you away from him,” Cara teased.

His quick laughter made her smile.

“Have you talked about Redcliffe with him?”

She shook her head. “He doesn’t want to discuss any of it. It would only put pressure on him to be something he is not. Only he can decide what I am to him.”

“And would you move on if he doesn’t feel the same?” he asked.

“There we knew we were going to die. All we had were stolen moments in dreams. Things are different here, so if this isn’t what he wants I will move on. Simple as that.” It was a lie she told herself. Maybe, if she said it enough times it would be true.

“Alright, but if you get tired of trying to get the old man’s attention, remember I’m here for you.”

Cara knew his preference wasn’t women, but he was a lot of fun to flirt with. “Careful, I may just take you up on your offer.” She walked away before he could comment.

* * *

Tension and excitement had been building in Haven the past two weeks. Preparations to seal the Breach were nearly completed. Adan was stocking up on healing and regenerative potions, thanks to the elfroot Cara’s magic had grown. Each day she delivered a fresh supply for a few coins. She stopped to talk to Solas about Dorian, but he wasn't home.

“Mistress Carina, Lady Nightingale requests you join them in the War Room.”

“Thank you, Charter. I will go at once.”

Cara had expected this as soon as they read her report. As much as she wanted to help, she was not looking forward to this meeting. Rumors of the events of Redcliffe had circulated through Haven. There were looks of contempt and pity. Many viewed the memories as convenient, a way to manipulate Mia and the Inquisition.

Mother Giselle didn’t trust her. She watched Cara like a hawk anytime she entered the Chantry. No matter how polite and sincere she had been, she received a “Maker go with you”, and a short nod. Today her gaze was less than cordial.

Cara knocked on the door to the War Room, Cassandra answered. “Thank you, for coming.”

Mother Giselle made a ‘harrumph’ sound then coughed. Cara rolled her eyes at Cassandra.

“Revered Mother, can I get you some water?” Cassandra asked.

“Thank you, but I am fine, Seeker Pentaghast.” At least the woman had the decency to blush.

Cara mouthed a thank you to Cassandra and followed her into the room. Solas and Remus were there as well. Her wolf often joined him on his walks to the Temple, which is where she expected him to be.

Cara knelt and hugged Remus, “Traitor,” she whispered. He whined an apology. “I take it you all have read my report?”

Solas regarded her sadly.

“There is much here, but you have left out much as well.” His tone held a slight edge to it. Anger or a warning?

“It was personal; I didn’t feel it important to anyone but me.” Was he so concerned about her leaving out important information, or was he so insensitive and felt if something benefited the cause it must be shared? His jaw twitched at her response, which upset her. The one time she had tried to talk to him since they arrived at Haven, he’d dismissed it as a bad dream to be forgotten.

“Was there something specific that needed clarifying? Ask your questions and I will answer if I can.”

“Is there a connection between the Breach and the time magic Alexius used?” Leliana asked.

“In a sense. The magic wouldn’t work before the Breach, Dorian explained this. Alexius could only alter time from the moment the Breach appeared and into the future. Each reset he attempted still had Mia interrupting the ritual.”

“So the time magic needed the disruption of the Fade to work?” Solas asked.

“That is what I understood, yes.”

“Your report mentions an attack soon after the Breach is sealed. Are you certain?” Cullen asked.

“Fairly certain, but predicting the future is more about intents than actual facts. It was one of the outcomes discussed by the guards.”

“So you are not certain.” Leliana seemed content to disprove her prediction.

“What have your scouts found?”

“Nothing, the passes around Haven are quiet,” she said.

“Are you certain? How many scouts have failed to report in? How many have you pulled back? You already know something is coming, yet refuse to believe it.”

“What else did you learn in the _future_?” Solas’ voice was free of any venom, but the emphasis on future implied they didn’t believe she had been truthful with them.

Was this a show for the advisers? Or did he really think she was here as a spy for the Elder One? Cara expected the advisers would question her eventually, but she hadn't expected Solas to agree with them. It sent a chill down her spine.

“I have shared what I believe is important, what will help the Inquisition. Events mentioned the Empress is in danger, Haven is in danger, the Wardens are either involved or in danger, and so are the Templars. What you chose to believe, and act upon is up to you.”

“Your knowledge is very convenient, Carina.” His response was like a knife in the back. He had seen events in her nightmares, he knew some of what she had been through.

"Should I have detailed my torture? Recounted the times I was violated?" The women gasped at this, Cullen cursed, but Solas stayed silent. "Have my nightmares not been enough to show you how painful these memories are?" Cara flinched at the hand on her arm, Mia offered in comfort.

“She has done nothing but aid us, through great harm to herself. She continues to aid us, and has asked for nothing in return,” Mia said.

“She has sent no messages, and received none,” Leliana added, turning to her. “Your memory loss, and now sudden knowledge are suspect. You must understand how it looks; the easy friendship you have struck with the Tevinter mage.”

So that was what it was all about? Whom she had chosen to befriend. “I thought Dorian was welcome here? Has he not done all he can to help as well? I have been a friend to him because no one else has!”

Cullen shifted his weight and studied the map before them. Leliana exchanged glances with Cassandra, and Josephine found her clipboard extremely interesting. Solas stood beside her, but she refused to look at him again, or she might lose what little control she held onto. To accuse her of being an agent for the Elder One was low; considering the Breach wouldn’t have been possible without Solas allowing his foci to be found by the Venatori.

“With the Elder One tied to the Venatori we cannot be too careful,” Cassandra said. “You must understand why we felt the reason for concern.”

“Yet, you allow a known spy into your midst. Do you really think The Iron Bull is less of a threat because of his confession? His reports may seem harmless, but how much do you really know of the Qun?” How could she tell them if they made the wrong choices with Bull he would betray them in the end? Between the Tevinter mage and the Qunari, the mage was the most trustworthy of all Mia’s companions. Even Varric had something to hide.

“I review his messages personally; they receive nothing more than is commonly known.” Leliana was defensive, but they cast sideways glances at each other.

“Are you satisfied I am not a Venatori spy? You have already confirmed I have sent and received no messages. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Forgive us Cara, we had to be sure. What you saw in that future cannot happen,” Mia said.

“Everything in my report was also told to you, by Iron Bull and Solas of that future. Even your other self, Leliana, confirmed everything I have reported. Dorian could confirm it all if you’d ask him, but instead, we are suspects.”

“The Herald did tell us this; forgive me for pushing the matter,” Cassandra said.

“I know events surrounding me are questionable, I don’t have all the answers myself, but I am no spy. Are there any more questions?” Cara needed to get out of there, the walls were beginning to close in around her.

“You are right about the scouts. There are those that have failed to report in. Someone doesn’t want us to know something. Do you know when the attack on Haven will happen?”

“Only that it will happen at night, and that it is after the sealing of the Breach.”

“So I will seal it?” Mia asked.

“Yes, and survive; do not fear it will be a repeat of the first time.”

“Thank you, Carina, I think you have answered enough questions for now,” Cassandra said.

She would not fall apart yet. She winced at the shouting she heard as soon as the door closed.

“Are you all right, child?” Mother Giselle asked.

She seemed surprised to see her leave on her own. Was it enough to have swayed her opinion? Frankly, Cara didn’t give a damn what she thought. She knew she was pale, she was feeling light-headed, and could feel the threat of a panic attack starting.

“As if you care, save your false sympathy.” Cara hurried toward her cabin. They had the information they needed, if they chose to ignore it or not was no longer her concern. Haven was no longer a refuge, she would leave if she had to. Along the way she took deep calming breaths and focused on the town around her.

The Chantry door slammed open, voices carried on the wind; one voice and one word was clear.

“Carina!” Solas called for her to wait.

She didn’t stop; she needed to retrieve her bow before taking Remus hunting.

He didn’t knock before entering and closed the door behind him. “Carina,” he said softly.

“There is nothing to discuss, Solas. You made your opinion of me very clear in the War Room.”

He answered in elvhen. _“No I haven’t, and that is why you doubt me.”_

_“I doubt you because you give me reason.”_

_“Fair enough; however, I am not the only one.”_

_“No, you aren’t.”_ Cara took a deep breath and held it a moment. Perhaps it was time to tell him. _“During the year in Redcliffe, I began to remember more about my past. I still do not remember the name I was given, only my title.”_ His eyes narrowed and for a moment, there was a burst of emotion, he was angry and wary. _“I am VhenRenan_ (Voice of Our People) _; or simply Var Renan_ (Our Voice) _.”_

He stood there speechless a moment. The energy around them filled with many emotions, wonder, denial, curiosity, and relief.

_“Mythal’s ambassador, Var Renan, went missing near the end of the Rebellion.”_

_“I only know it was soon after Mythal’s murder. A hundred others and I traveled through an Eluvian to one of the ‘other places’. If we found it acceptable, we were to return with news; we were stranded instead.”_

_“I knew of no plans to send our people to ‘other places’. Why keep this from me?”_

_“Before Mythal’s death, it was simply a possibility. After, all seemed hopeless, they believed it was the only way to save something of ourselves. Since returning from Redcliffe, you have refused to discuss events only I remember.”_ Cara hugged her arms around her, trying to stop herself from shaking. A warm hand, gently touched her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

_“Forgive me; I thought dwelling on those events would give the nightmares strength. What happened?”_

_“Our people were hunted and slaughtered. Some of us escaped by shapeshifting, but once we had there was no way to change back. From then on I was re-born; that world calls it reincarnation. All of my lives were human, and I lost all memories of this world, and of my lives before. Some returned to me in dreams after returning to Thedas.”_

_“The morning you woke as a wolf.”_ He smiled thinking about it.

_“Only Fen’Harel would think it funny.”_

His warm chuckle would always be her undoing.

_“If your memories were lost how did you know me when you awoke?”_

When he’d let the slip of his name go; she’d begun to think she imagined saying it aloud. No wonder he pushed for the truth. _“You heard that?”_

_“I did. How did you return?”_

_“I don’t know how I got here, and the rest will take too long to explain right now.”_

_"And what of Dorian? Why do you encourage him?"_

Cara bit back a laugh. She knew more of Dorian than anyone here. That Solas was jealous had occurred to her, that he would use it to justify his actions in the War Room hadn't. _"Dorian is only a friend. Perhaps you should try making more of them? Like Sera?"_ His snort had them both laughing. _"Dorian prefers men, our flirtations are simply for our own amusement."_

_“With so much fear in the air you understand my concern.”_

_“I knew more of you than I knew of myself. I didn’t think it safe to tell you what I knew.”_

_“Had you told me I would have warned you of the council’s plan. Forgive me; it has been a long time since I could trust anyone.”_

_“And can I trust you?”_

_“As much as I can trust an ambassador, who is as skilled at the game as I am.”_ His fingers brushed against her cheek, tucking the loose strand of hair behind her ear, an attempt to distract her from asking him directly. Elvhen is a language of intents; a direct answer required a direct question, for that Common tongue was needed.

“I’m severely out of practice, I feel as skilled at the game as Cullen. Yes, or no, can I trust you? If I do not ask directly, you will imply and leave me to assume; so unless you tell me I can, I know can’t.”

“Yes, you can trust me, _lethallan._ ”

Remus decided their conversation was over and whined at the door. He wanted to hunt.


	17. The Breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally ready to seal the Breach, Haven is faced with the threat of attack. Even with Cara's warning of the attack they are caught by surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-22-16 POV has been changed from First to Third, along with missed grammar mistakes.

The path to the temple was still littered with busted barricades and skeletal remains of broken wagons, as well as the occasional scorched vegetation. All damage caused by the violent bursts the Breach had furiously spit out, before the Herald, had sealed the main rift. Though the line of mages and soldiers had planned and prepared for this day, they approached the Temple with slow and carefully guided steps. Those who spoke or joked were given withering looks from those nearest them. The closer they drew to the Temple the quieter things grew. Even the birds and squirrels had fled the woods nearby. Knowing what to expect didn’t prepare her for the sight she saw.

Once a grand Temple, it was now just a shell. Jagged spikes of stone and earth, clusters of red lyrium, and burn marks on the ground where once living beings had stood, were still evidence of the destruction just a few short months ago. Black stains splattered the stones, grim reminders of battles fought in those early days. Days where demons poured from the Breach and tore through with burning rage and hate. Driven mad with confusion, they lashed out at all living things.

Mages filed in quietly, taking up positions pre-determined, and readied themselves without direction. Many hours were spent projecting their magic toward a focal point rather than casting a spell. It wasn’t until Solas was satisfied they could project with ease, that the assault on the Breach began. Soldiers and mages filed out around the floor of the Temple and lined up along the upper ledge. Each found their place quietly and a reverent hush fell over them all.

Along with Cassandra and Solas, Cara followed Mia into the lower room. The Mark on Mia’s hand glowed in rhythm to the swirling energy of the Breach. Cara found a place near the group of mages behind the Herald and watched the three of them. Solas moved with confidence and grace, a general leading his army to battle. Fitting she supposed, considering he had the attention of every mage there. They followed his lead, took his counsel, was it any surprise he stood tall?

“Mages!” Cassandra said. Her voice carried through the temple focusing their attention once more on the elf beside her.

Solas held out his staff and yelled. “Focus past the Herald. Let her will draw from you.” Cassandra and Solas each stood beside her.

Cara watched Mia as she pushed forward, into the swirling wind that lashed and pushed her back. She felt the power of the mages around her and projected her own forward. She felt Mia pull that power into the Mark and send it at the Breach. For those short moments, Cara was connected to each mage there, to the Herald, to the Mark, and to the Breach. All of them sharing the same power for just a moment as the Anchor drew it in and channeled it toward the Breach. Then she felt the Breach shift as Mia closed it, just before the blinding white light and the force of the explosion knocked them all off their feet.

The Fade was cut off in an instant; while there were weaknesses in the Veil due to the many deaths at the Temple, the sudden severance from the Fade was like a slap to the face. Cara lay there stunned she was so affected by the loss. She felt hands gently shake her and took in a gasp of air.

Cassandra was already standing behind Mia as she got to her feet.

Cara sat up, dizzy for a moment, his hand on her shoulder, his eyes searching for injury. She smiled weakly when the dizziness passed and he pulled her to her feet.

“You did it!” Cassandra said.

Cheers rang out through the temple. Mages who had stood rigid and stiff relaxed their shoulders, some clasped others on the back, and some hugged those closest. Cheery smiles and laughter filled the air.

Solas pulled her against him and kissed her, a short celebratory kiss, it was over quickly and left her stunned. There were more cheers, Mia and Cassandra laughed behind them. Cara felt the heat rise in her cheeks; his public display had caught her off guard. Maybe he was just relieved the Breach had been closed. Time would tell, and now was not the time to think about it. The day was still far from over. Corypheus would attack tonight.

Solas stayed at the Temple to ensure that the Breach was truly sealed, and Cara returned to Haven with Mia and the rest of the team.

“Can you tell us anything more about tonight?” Mia asked.

“I’ve told you all I can, maybe I’m wrong and he won’t attack, but if he does I will fight by your side.”

She squeezed her hand. “Thank you, I know you still haven’t grown used to battle. It’s very brave of you to volunteer.”

“It is no different than you facing each rift. You know there will be demons, and you know the risks. I just pray things are better than I expect them to be.”

Since Redcliffe, there hadn’t been any trips with Mia. She had stayed in Haven to rest before closing the Breach. Cara wasn’t sure what to expect of herself. The thought of being in battle again made her throat constrict and her chest tighten, she took a deep breath and banished the fear from her mind.

Mia pursed her lips and nodded. Then she jabbed her in the rib with an elbow. “So you and Solas?”

“What about me and Solas? It’s not like we’ve been strangers for weeks and out of the blue, he kissed me.”

“No, but after yesterday, I feared there would be tension between you. I’m sorry it had to happen that way.”

“I understand why, but it didn’t make it easier.”

“I went to him for advice. I knew they would question, and I feared nothing you said would help you. Solas said he could prove your innocence without either of us defending you.”

“I did figure that out later, that he’d provoked me intentionally. Still, at the time, it felt like a betrayal.”

Mia wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “I’m glad it’s behind us. Maybe it’s naïve of me, but I’ve trusted you from the first day.”

“I appreciate that.” Cara wondered how trusting she would be once she knew her secret. Eventually, she would have to explain but now was not the time.

Dorian caught up to them halfway to Haven. “There you are, I missed you at dinner last night. I had to drink an entire bottle of wine by myself.”

Mia nodded at Dorian and moved ahead with Cassandra.

“Are you alright? I heard they raked you over the coals because you were kind to me. It seems my debt to you continues to grow.”

“It wasn’t just you. I’ve had some --- unique things happen since my arrival. There has always been some suspicion surrounding me. It would have come to a head with or without your involvement.”

“Now my curiosity is peeked. Then the rumor you fell out of the Fade is true. I’ve already seen your unique magic first hand. Some think you are a spirit.”

“Yes, I came through a rift, but I don’t know about being a spirit. What I know of them doesn’t seem to fit. I have strange memories surrounding my life, sometimes I’m convinced they belong to someone else. What do you think?” Cara had noticed the strange looks from some of the more experienced mages. They were curious looks, for the most part, only a couple of them actively avoided her.

“Not to sound too cliché, but you could be an angel sent by the Maker.”

“You didn’t hit your head did you? Usually, you compliment yourself first and then me by comparison.”

“Then again I may have just heard that in the tavern last night. You have no shortage of admirers. No doubt hearts will shatter when they hear of the kiss.” His eyes sparkled.

“Cad.” It felt good to laugh, being around Dorian was like being wrapped in a warm blanket.

 

* * *

 

Laughter and music mixed together as Haven celebrated the sealing of the Breach. All over Haven were groups of people celebrating. Humans, dwarves, and elves joined together, putting aside all prejudices. They passed bottles of wine around and twirled each other until they stumbled, dizzy from drink and dancing. The warm hand that touched between her shoulders made her jump. His hand fell away.

“ _Ir abelas_ , I didn’t mean to startle you,” Solas said.

“I wish they could dance all night. We should be preparing to leave, not celebrating!”

“You have done all you can to warn them. We are ready to face our foe.” He seemed so sure, but Cara knew how this would play out. Yes, many would make it out, but many would still be lost. She knew they had nowhere to go. Solas wouldn’t offer help unless the situation was dire. That she knew where he would lead them must be her secret.

The alarm bell rang through Haven. “Shit! I half hoped….” she said. He took her hand and they followed Mia to the front gate.

Varric, Dorian, Solas, Cara, Iron Bull and Mia would be fighting together. Blackwall would keep Remus and they would protect the Chantry with Cassandra and Sera.

“Never a dull moment for Southerners is there?” Dorian asked joining them. Cara answered with a nervous laugh. Dorian squeezed her shoulder, his smile was tight and didn’t reach his eyes.

“I don’t think I can do this.” Her voice cracked at the lump in her throat. Her heart pounded a stuttered rhythm, each beat felt as if it would crash through her chest.

Solas hadn’t let go of her hand yet and gave it a squeeze. “Do not doubt yourself.”

Cara focused on the feel of his hand in hers. Instead of the coming battle, she focused on the physical world around her, the feel of her feet on the ground, her hand in Solas', something other than the fear threatening to consume her. Her heart rate slowed a little and she didn’t feel so light headed.

Cassandra was demanding a report from Cullen as they arrived. “One WatchGuard reporting. It’s a massive force. The bulk over the mountain.”

“Under what banner?” Josephine asked.

“None,” he told her.

“None?” she gasped.

The gate shook and a flash of light was seen under it.

“I can’t come in unless you open!”

Mia moved to the gate and a soldier opened it. Cullen drew his sword and followed the Herald.

“I’m Cole. I came to warn you. To help. People are coming to hurt you. You probably already know.”

“What is this? What’s going on?” Mia said.

“The Templars come to kill you.”

“Templars? Is this the orders response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?” Cullen roared. The boy shrank back a moment, then turned to Mia.

“The Red Templars went to the Elder One. You know him? He knows you. You took his mages.” He pointed at a ridge far outside of town. “There.”

“I know that man…. But this Elder One….”

“He’s very angry that you took his mages.”

“Cullen give me a plan? Anything,” Mia said.

“Send the Civilians to the Chantry, have them take only the necessities,” Cara told Josephine and Leliana, both nodded and began rounding up those who couldn’t fight.

“Haven is no fortress. If we are to withstand this monster, we must control the battle. Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can! Mages! You—you have sanction to engage them! That is Sampson. He will not make it easy! Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!”

Cara had left her staff at the cottage and opted for bow and daggers. She could still use magic, but wouldn’t draw attention to herself as quickly as she would with a staff. She stayed between Dorian and Solas, the last line of defense in case anything got past their magic and her bow. Varric and Bull stayed with Mia while they all defended the troops. Cara cast barriers over as many soldiers as she could, Solas and Dorian focused theirs on the Herald and her companions.

“You need a barrier as well, _Lethallan,_ ” Solas said.

“No, we save as many soldiers as we can. I won’t cast a barrier over myself until it is absolutely needed.”

His jaw twitched, he would have to decide who to protect, her or Mia with his Anchor. Cara knew who he would choose.

Her ruse worked well, they focused on Solas and Dorian in their range attack, paying her no mind, and she was able to freeze the enemy, then shoot arrows shattering their archers. But she couldn’t stay free of the melee fighting forever. A Templar with a tower shield rushed them, and while she moved before he ran her over, he did trip her as he rushed past. Cara cast a barrier around the three of them and jumped up with both daggers in hand and attacked him before he could turn. Hot blood covered her fingers, corrupted by Red Lyrium and she hissed as it burned. She called fire to burn it away before it could seep into her skin.

“Oh, that’s a neat trick!” Dorian said.

 Cara cast a new barrier over the soldiers fighting at the trebuchet and soon they were firing.

“We need to get to the other trebuchet,” Mia said and raced ahead. Varric and Bull hot on her heels, with Cara, Solas and Dorian right behind her. “It needs armed!”

“I’ll cover you while you arm it,” Cara called a lightning cage over the worst of the Red Templars and fired arrows at them causing further damage. She felt the disruption behind her a second before Solas did. She whirled and slashed at the Templar Shadow. Cara held a blade in front of her and behind her to strike him more with each spin.

“Well done,” Solas said.

She cast another barrier around the few remaining soldiers and fired arrows at the Templar archers who threatened the Herald. Finally, the trebuchet was ready to fire.

Cara didn’t join in the cheers as the snow came down on the enemy. Solas squeezed her hand to celebrate but she shook her head. “It’s far from over,” she whispered, pointing to the sky as saw the dragon fly overhead. It blasted the trebuchet and sent them all sprawling.

“Back to the Gate NOW!” Mia yelled.

Iron Bull smashed the crates that had fallen in front of Harritt’s quarters.

“Just grabbing essentials. I won’t die for the forge,” the smith said.

Cullen was ushering everyone in. “Back to the Chantry everyone. It’s the only building that might hold out against that…. thing. At this point just make them work for it,” he said throwing up his hands.

“We must help all stragglers get to the Chantry. Quickly Lysette is this way!” Cara took off to help the Templar who had joined the Inquisition.

“Thank you. Protect the Chantry,” Lysette said as she ran off toward the building.

Cara knew saving the handful of people trapped or too stunned to move was a race against the clock and dashed through the mob of Templars, slashing at the weakest spots in armor as she made her way to Flissa trapped in the tavern.

“I’m trapped! My legs, I can’t move them,” she cried.

“You’ll be fine, I’ve got you,” Cara told her. She handed her off to a soldier and he helped her to the Chantry. Bull and everyone joined her outside just as the beams fell crashing down covered in flames.

“There, another survivor.” Solas pointed up the hill past his home

“Adan and Minaeve are injured, we must move them before those containers explode!” Cara raced up the stairs. She pulled Adan to his feet while Mia helped Mineave. They stepped away just as the explosion hit. Something struck the back of her head and she felt hot flames slash across her back as she was thrown forward, face first onto Adan, throwing them both to the ground. A scream tore from her throat.

“Carina!” Mia yelled. Cara felt hands pounding on her back, dousing the flames. “Adan, get her to the Chantry. Go with Adan, you need healing.” The world spun around her, and she still felt engulfed in flames.

Cara felt a gentle blast of ice over her back. “Carina, go…you cannot fight with that injury.” Solas lifted her to her feet and handed her to Adan. He and Mineave supported her as they made their way into the Chantry. So much for helping Haven.

The Chantry was full of wounded, and civilians alike. Cara was placed on a bedroll on the floor. Voices filled the air around her, and gentle hands tended the burn on her back.

“Drink this.” Adan held a vial of liquid. “You need to sleep while I clean this burn.”

“Not yet, not until Mia returns to the Chantry.” Just then the doors opened, and Roderick, supported by Cole, was yelling for them to come inside.

Cara felt a chill over her back once more. “Carina, you must drink this, the wound must be tended quickly to prevent scarring.” Solas pressed the vial to her lips, giving her little choice but to drink it. Cara heard them discussing evacuation plans. Remus pushed his nose under her arm with a whine and she threaded fingers through the fur at his neck. Cara relaxed then, let the potion work, now that she knew he was there and safe. He would stay by her side now, rather than fight.


	18. It's Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the attack on Haven the Inquisition is lost in the mountains. Cara is visited by an old friend and finds more answers while recovering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-23-16 Changed from First person POV to Third, along with additional fixing of grammar errors and sentences for clarity.

_There were familiar sounds around her. The gentle wind through the trees carried the sharp scent of pine and sage. Birds sang their greetings to the morning sun, as the first rays peeked over the mountain. The tinkling sound of the waterfall; flowers were scattered down its banks and around the small pool. Cara drank it all in, the fragrance of the blossoms, the punch of pine and sage, crisp clean air, and the scent of fresh mountain water. The cold water flowing over the fall mixed with the geothermal hot spring below, created a warm spray of mist as the waters mingled together. One word came to mind. Home._

_Then the illusions wavered a moment, she was in the Fade. She willed the flowers to make a bed and lowered herself; sinking into the fragrant, silky, blossoms. It was her favorite spot on the ranch. She was dreaming, content to enjoy the familiar comfort of a place she had called home for so long._

_Something shifted in the Fade and the waterfall faded away. In its place was a large, elaborate room, adorned with golden mosaics of the elvhen gods, and gleaming tiles. Pillars supported the high ceiling and arched doorways led to surrounding areas. In the center was a grand fountain, inscribed with elvhen writings. The air was heavy with the fragrance of exotic blooms. Cara scrambled to her feet wary of the intruder that could alter her dream so easily._

_“So, you have returned, I’d heard whispers in the Fade, but you hold your memories close.” A woman dressed as a warrior with a headdress adorned in her hair, the two together formed the shape of dragon horns. Cara’s breath caught in her throat when she realized who she was; Flemeth and Mythal._

_“Goddess! Forgive me, I did not expect to see you!” Two sets of memories pushed their way forward. Part of her still struggled with the reality of this world, while part of her was at peace, knowing some part of Mythal remained. Cara bowed before her until she gestured for her to stand._

_Mythal studied her for some time, and Cara grew nervous under her gaze. “You need have no fear of me, the blame is not yours.” Her voice was soothing, kind. The voice was not Flemeth’s it was softer, kinder, and yet more powerful._

_“How is it not? Had I been more skeptical, you might have been better prepared.”_

_“I knew the risk, I did not go blindly, or unprepared. Is it fate or chance? I can never decide.”_

_“You are…. are Morrigan’s mother?” The newest part of her held to the present and recent past. To learn the two were one and the same was still a surprise to her._

_Flemeth laughed, it was non-threatening, not her usual half mad cackle._

_“I am, ungrateful child though she may be. Many centuries ago I cried out and a wisp came to me. She brought justice for my slain husband and has been a part of me. I doubt anyone could tell you where Flemeth ends and Mythal begins. We are one. She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest. What do you remember of your life here?”_

_“My memories are scattered; lost and broken, over years of being severed from this place, I suppose. Did you bring me here?”_

_“No, that is beyond even my abilities.”_

_“You helped set the Hero of Ferelden, and Hawke on their paths. I thought perhaps you had a hand in this as well.”_

_“Sometimes I am content to watch history unfold other times I give it a nudge.” She chuckled. “I’m not sure what role you may play; I suppose that is up to you.”_

_“Do you know how I came to this world?”_

_“Only that the weakening of the veil has strengthened the connection of that world to this one. A spirit such as yours would seek to return to its world, the Breach made that possible.”_

_“Then I am a spirit, manifested in solid form? Are the memories and the lives truly mine, or do I simply believe that?”_

_“Such a curious child. The people have always been, and some part of them will always be, but only those with a will strong enough to resist the pull of the other side return. You have such a will.”_

_“That is a very Mythal answer.” She never did answer directly, but then the Game required subtle hints and half-truths be used. Every phrase spoken could be turn back as a weapon._

_Her sweet laughter rang out. “You have been missed, Var Renan. The truth then; you look as you did so long ago, though, you have grown more than even I thought possible. Many of our people were once spirits that grew beyond their purpose and became part of the living. Your spirit would be lost traveling the Fade, for you no longer embody a single virtue, you are beyond the confines of a spirit. You are as real now as you were millennia ago.”_

_“Will I be able to return to that world?” Cara was nearly afraid to ask the question but needed to know. Mythal’s expression was one of sadness and she felt the ache in her heart._

_“Only by choice, if you wished to cross through an Eluvian, but your mortal form there is gone. You would not be who you were before.”_

_A mix of feelings washed over her. Cara was relieved that it wouldn’t just happen but sad that she would never see friends and family again. They would have mourned her death, though, and wouldn’t accept her return. “I wish it had been different.”_

_“We all feel that way when faced with such times, but rarely do we get to choose our role. There is a life for you here, if you choose,” she said._

_“Is there? A life of war and death? It is no better than the world I left so long ago.”_

_“You have seen much in such a short time. Hope is still there, but you struggle to see it. All conflicts have an end, the struggle through them makes the new beginnings that much sweeter. You do not travel this journey alone.”_

_“He will leave in the end.”_

_“That is not inevitable. Only you know his secret, only you can understand him. Perhaps that is enough, or perhaps there is another that waits for you. Why limit yourself, we elves rarely do.” Her laugh was filled with humor rather than spite._

_“You see much.”_

_“More than you know child, but you do as well. Your instincts serve you well. Trust yourself. Destiny awaits dear girl; we have much to do.”_

_“I will do my best.”_

_“Of that, I have no doubt. I leave you with one final gift.” Mythal touched her forehead, a flood of images and memories crashed over her._

_Cara gasped and collapsed. Memories of her ‘lives’ there. Her spirit transcending through the ages. For well over a thousand years she had lived, died and was re-born. Memories of Arlathan; of crystal spires and floating castles. Her ‘parents’ who guided her in the early years. Childless, they never gave up ‘hope’ for a child to raise. As a spirit, she was drawn to them and she became that child. A sea of faces and emotions all broke over her at once, too many. Mythal stood over her while she sputtered for breath. Then helped her to her feet after she regained control._

_“Search your memories. They will give you the answers you seek. You are free of any oath to me; the path you take is that which you choose. Dareth Shiral, lethallan.” She stopped and spoke again. “If you see that ungrateful daughter of mine, be sure not to mention me.”_

_She was gone and Cara could finally breathe. The Temple faded away and she sank back to the ground and put her head between her knees. It was almost too much to comprehend. The eluvians, the ones connected to other places, the Fade was the connection. When the link was severed by the Veil they were trapped._ Cara woke with a gasp.

“Solas?” She reached for him but dropped her arm and groaned.

“How do you feel?” His eyes were red.

“I hurt everywhere! How long have I been out?”

“It has been nearly two days.”

“Have you slept at all in two days?”

He shook his head.

Cara was lying on her stomach and wanted to sit up.

“Slowly, lethallan. You have a severe head injury, and the burns need more time, you shouldn’t move. I was concerned you wouldn’t wake; your breathing has been too shallow for too long.” He held her shoulders to steady her as she raised up on her elbow.

Cara closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Got anything for a pounding headache?”

He placed a hand on the back of her neck and she felt a gentle blast of cold at the base of her skull, as well as a surge of healing magic, to soothe the pain. “Mmmmmm heavenly. Thank you, Solas.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “You had me worried, I tried to throw a barrier over you before the blast but I wasn’t fast enough.”

The blast, right before the final battle, and her face off with Corypheus.

“Is Mia alright?”

He nodded and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Many were saved that night thanks to you. The Herald sleeps still, she was nearly frozen, but she will recover,” he said. “Remus led them to her.” At the sound of his name he slipped into the tent and pushed his nose under her hand.

“There’s my boy. I hear you’re a hero.” He huffed an answer, licked her hand, then curled up beside the cot to sleep. Cara lay down on her side and relaxed. Everything from here on would be much easier for them all.

Cara could finally share everything with Solas, but she needed time to put some of it all together. He hesitantly reached for her hand, his back stiff, his breath held, until she laced her fingers between his. Then his posture softened, and a small smile played at his lips. Cara felt lighter, happier than she had been for so long. To finally have answers about herself, her past, and to know she was essentially free, lifted a great burden from her shoulders.

“Is she awake?” Varric asked.

“I am, come on in, Varric.”

“Us too,” Bull said as he and Dorian followed him in.

“Shit, Violet, you really know how to get into trouble! It’s like Hawke all over again!” Varric said.

“It does seem to be a particular talent of mine.”

Dorian said, “you had us worried when you wouldn’t wake. Next time, try harder not to die, I would notice you were gone.”

“Next time you don’t get out of the fight so easily,” Iron Bull teased.

“Damn, got me figured out. I’ll have to find more inventive ways to avoid battle.”

Bull gave her a satisfied grunt then left.

Varric and Dorian followed. As soon as they left, Cara sensed Cole behind her.

“Hello,” he said.

“It’s Cole, right?”

“Yes, but who are you? You didn’t fit there but you fit here.” To hear her thoughts from him was slightly unsettling. “I don’t understand, you are happy and sad to be home.”

“Yes, because for a long time that was home too.”

“She was glad to see you. You aren’t lost, I will try to help. So many voices.” He paused a moment. Cara could sense him searching her memories. “You are too bright, it’s hard to see. You are more than I am, but how? I want to be more too, to help more.”

Cara was watching Solas as Cole spoke and his eyes snapped to hers.

“What do you mean, Cole?” Solas asked him.

“But you already know,” he said to him. Solas’ eyes widened, then he nodded to the spirit.

“I will show you a little at a time, Cole,” she said. Maybe one day he too would grow beyond himself.

“Goodbye,” and Cole was gone.

“You understand what Cole is?”

“I do, and I will help him any way I can.”

“You are even more unique than I thought, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Cara grinned at him. “You can’t really be surprised by that can you?”

He smiled and shook his head. “I find I am surprised by a great many things anymore. What of you?”

“I am… more complex; there is little that can influence my nature now, though events at Redcliffe came close. I’m still coming to terms with it.” Unlike Cole, Cara couldn’t simply wash her memories away when faced with unpleasant things. Like anyone else she had to learn to make them part of her without letting them redefine her in a completely negative way.

“It explains the memory lapse; re-birth often means all but the nature of the spirit is lost.”

“I’ve not been _just_ a spirit for many centuries.” Her head swam with voices and emotions. She closed her eyes and gripped his hand. His grip tightened too. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m alright, an effect of the closing of the Breach is all.”

“Then you remember more?” he asked.

“I had a little help from a friend, she loosened the barrier that held them from me. It will take time to sort through them, but I remember enough to understand who I was and what I have become.” Cara chuckled to herself, there was no need to pretend with Solas now. “I suppose it would cause too many issues if I were to heal myself and get up?” While healing would take effort, it was no longer beyond her understanding. She hadn’t been able to use it because she didn’t believe she could.

“There are enough suspicions surrounding you, best to take a few days. Mia would understand you could heal yourself slowly over time, but even she would have trouble explaining to them a miraculous recovery.” Yes, the Chantry and their fear of spirit healers and blood magic would condemn her to die, or try to make her tranquil. The Inquisition may be apart from the Chantry, but its founders still held many of its doctrines.

“I cannot hide who I am forever. I will have to explain to them eventually.” Lies did not come easy for her, even half-truths were difficult to tell.

“For now, you must. To reveal yourself would put your existence in jeopardy.” He knelt beside the cot. “Promise me, you will wait. At least until it is safer, or you have no other choice.”

“I wouldn’t reveal you, you know that. I can explain myself without involving you.”

“The concern is not for myself.” His voice was soft, his eyes pleading.

Cara reached out and touched his cheek. “Very well, I promise I will wait.” His eyes closed and leaned into her touch.

Just then singing started. Mia was up, questioning what she had witnessed, and what would happen next. “She needs your guidance, Solas.” He nodded, squeezed her hand before letting go. Cara closed her eyes and listened to their song. All of them sang in perfect harmony, it really was breathtaking, even if she wasn’t sure the Maker existed. No matter the struggle the dawn would come and with it hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should find our band of friends in Skyhold. I'm glad to finally be out of Haven. From here there will be a bit of canon bending, especially with Cara.


	19. Past and Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-23-16 Switched from First Person POV to Third. Minor edits to grammar and sentences.

Wagons carried the wounded, making the journey to Skyhold slow for some. Maxwell, Mia's brother, was also injured during the attack. He'd been at the front lines with Cullen, then later protecting the Chantry during the final battle.

With rubble making free space a premium at Skyhold, they shared a tent. Max was a terrible patient and complained about being bedridden. But with a broken leg, he would be for at least a week while the bones mended. On one of Dorian's visits to her, Cara steered them both to a game of chess. She just hopped she hadn't misread the signs. Max had asked a number of questions about the mage after his first visit, so she was doing a bit of matchmaking. Mia stopped by during meals, and the three of them became better acquainted.

Maxwell and Cara had put all issues with that first rough meeting behind them. Handsome, rich, and first-born, he'd grown up with few refusing him anything he wanted. His time with the Inquisition had tempered some of that, due to the changes Mia had made.

Solas stopped by once a day to check on her but didn't stay long. There was little they could discuss around others without arousing more suspicion. Instead, they met in the Fade.

Cara found Solas in the Atrium just after she entered the Fade. The fortress that now stood was starkly different from the spire that once graced the mountain. "You weren't at all surprised that I knew you. When did you know?" Cara spoke in elvhen whenever alone.

"I had suspected for some time. But when we spoke after Redcliffe, you let enough slip to confirm it," Solas said.

"I suppose it was silly to think there was any danger in telling you, but it was so complicated. I'd no idea how to explain knowing you without us ever meeting before. I didn't think you'd believe me."

"It did raise many questions; few would know me on sight. Though we did meet more than once."

Cara searched her memories trying to place him among them, but nothing she recalled sparked recognition. "You have me at a disadvantage, I don't remember meeting you."

"Mythal had thrown one of her masquerades, I only attended when I could go disguised. Had circumstances allowed, I would have asked Mythal to introduce us." His fingers traced along her jaw to her ear.

"I'm afraid I still don't remember. You know how scandalous Mythal's gatherings could get."

" _Everyone's_ gatherings would turn scandalous more often than not." He chuckled.

"True, court was never dull, no matter who the host was." Couples often found a secluded spot, and sometimes less private locations, to engage in one-on-one entertainment. Nearly every noble had converted their grounds into a maze of smaller gardens meant to offer such places. Mythal's palace certainly didn't lack locations. She encouraged these rendezvous; she encouraged a lot of things. Most nobles were free to pursue anyone they chose at such gatherings, despite their relationship status. Engaging in such behavior at unmasked affairs, however, was a different story.

"Mythal had thrown this event in honor of your appointment as The People's Ambassador. It was an impressive achievement. It had been some centuries since they had agreed on anything," Solas said.

It hadn't been easy to gain their approval. They were used to negotiating between themselves, but the position was for The People, not the Evanuris. For a time, it had helped, but gods rarely relinquish power once gained. That particular ball had been the start of change; for the first time, lower class elves had been invited. Cara shook her head; she still didn't remember. She danced and spoke with many that evening.

"I should not have approached you, but I was drawn to you." Her breath caught in her throat at his hungry gaze. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "I vowed I would make you sing for me."

His words sent a shiver of pleasure over her skin. The memory of that evening crashed over her. He had worn simple attire and moved easily through the lower class crowd. The two crowds at the ball had been like two separate parties. Few nobles mingled with those they deemed beneath them.

Solas had interrupted her dance, and before either could protest, swept her across the dance floor. Just as the song ended, he'd led them out into the garden.

"I recall that Mythal was not pleased with you that night."

"Had anyone but she known you had drawn my attention; it would have jeopardized your position."

That was an understatement. Had any of the other Evanuris known they had been alone for even a moment, Cara would have been stripped of her title and rank. It would have been the same with any of the Evanuris, as it would have seemed a show of favoritism. As an ambassador, she was to stay neutral, but that didn't stop the string of interested elves who attempted to gain her favor and affection. Her engagement to Banal'ras had been allowed because they had grown up together.

"I remember you were arrogant and pushy."

He was confident and proud. Had she given it more thought, she would have realized he was not one of the lower class by the way he carried himself? He was also charming and mysterious; Cara was simply miffed at being pushed out to the garden without any warning. Most would handle such things with a bit more finesse. Pretend they needed air, were avoiding someone, and allow the other to decline if they wished.

His warm chuckle brought her attention back to the present. "I thought I had made a better impression than that. Allow me to try again."

He pulled her against him like he had that night so long ago. His mouth covered her while skilled hands caressed with feather light touches, and magic danced across her skin, sending heat through her veins. Cara slipped her arms around his neck, giving into the sensation. His lips applied gentle pressure while his tongue teased and traced the edges of her mouth; it darted forward to tantalize, retreated, then darted forward again. Her body trembled with pleasure in his arms. He lifted her enough to set her on his desk.

As before, a cough interrupted the kiss.

Instead of Mythal, it was Mia. "Sorry to interrupt." She stood there smiling, waiting for them to recover.

Cara cleared her throat, looked at her hands and then looked back at her. "Mia!"

That Mia had found them in a dream was remarkable.

"Cara, the surgeon said you'd be well enough to be up and about today."

"Yes, I'm feeling much better." Cara started to say more, but Solas shook his head slightly.

"I'm glad I found you, Solas. I hoped we could get to know each other better." She smiled almost shyly at them. "That is if…."

"Not at all, I was just leaving." Cara slipped off his desk.

"You don't need to, I'm interested in what you both have told me of yourselves and your studies. If you have time, I'd like to hear more."

"You continue to surprise me. All right, let us talk… preferably somewhere more interesting than this." He took Cara’s hand and they walked out to the Main Hall. Mia didn't seem to notice how quickly they covered ground as they made their way through the Fade.

"Why here?" She asked when they reached Haven.

"Haven is familiar. It will always be important to you."

It was easier to talk to someone in a familiar place. The spirits would draw from all their memories to recreate the lifelike scene.

"I thought we talked about that already."

She seemed frustrated, but who could blame her? Haven had been destroyed so they could flee. Sounds of normal activities around Haven and voices filled the background, deepening the illusion for Mia as they walked into the Chantry.

"I sat beside you while you slept, studying the Anchor."

"How long can it take to look at a mark on my hand?"

"A magical mark of unknown origin, tied to a unique Breach in the Veil? Longer than you might think. I ran every test I could imagine, searched the Fade, yet found nothing. Cassandra suspected duplicity. She threatened to have me executed as an apostate if I didn't produce results."

"Cassandra's like that with everyone," Mia said.

Solas and Cara both chuckled.

"Yes."

He moved for the door and in just moments they were outside once more. It was remarkable that she could still keep up with him; even for Cara, the scene wavered when they shifted from one place to another. If only the Mark wasn't such a danger to her.

"You were never going to wake up. How could you, a mortal sent physically through the Fade? I was frustrated, frightened. The spirits I might have consulted had been driven away by the breach. Although I wished to help, I had no faith in Cassandra…or she in me. I was ready to flee."

"The Breach threatened the whole world. Where did you plan to go?" Mia asked.

"Some place far away where I might research a way to repair the Breach before its effects reached me. I never said it was a good plan." He turned to the sky, and the Breach swirled above them. "I told myself: One more attempt to seal the rifts. I tried and failed. No ordinary magic would affect them. I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to flee, and then…." He took her hand and sealed the rift in front of them. "It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture…and right then, I felt the whole world change."

"It was that impressive to see me awake?" She seemed to think it a small thing that she had survived.

"You had walked in the Fade. I have explored the Fade more than anyone alive, but even I can only visit in dreams. But you…you might have been able to visit us here while awake."

She still didn't catch his meaning. "What do you mean?"

"Where did you think we were?" Cara asked her.

"This isn't real?" She looked between them and then around them, finally realizing that if they were physically in Haven, it would be buried under many feet of snow and debris.

"That's a matter of debate…probably best discussed after you 'wake up.'" Solas woke her, sending her out of the Fade.

"That was incredible. That she found us in the Fade without realizing." Cara chuckled. "She is extraordinary for a human."

"It is the Anchor, nothing more." He wanted it to be so, but his argument was flat and he knew it.

"No, she really is. Can't you see it? There is a brightness to her, which has nothing to do with the mark. She isn't the only one." Cara moved to sit on the stone wall next to the tavern.

"She is wiser than most humans, more compassionate, but she would be the first."

"But she isn't the only one, Solas, get to know them; you may find many more will surprise you. Not everyone in a position of power sees it as a way to make themselves stronger. There are those who genuinely care for the well-being of others."

"I have been awake just over a year; my experience with this world has not been pleasant. Why do you defend them? Given any reason, they will turn on us both."

"I imagine some of that was due to your approach. Who insisted I be cared for, be placed in your care? I'm not naive enough to think you manipulated those things."

He sighed. "No, I did not; it was the Herald's idea. Though I was curious, I did not want the distraction. Appeasing the Herald, to stay near the Anchor, was the main reason I agreed."

"I understand; the Mark was and is the priority."

"It was not the only reason, Carina. I wondered if something of the past might have begun to manifest in modern elves."

"Disappointed?"

"To be honest, a little. Our people have lost themselves due to choices I have made."

"You can't continue to blame yourself. You didn't start the war that was destroying our world."

"I destroyed our people. I would see it made right."

"By that logic, Mythal's death is my fault. I arranged the meeting where she was betrayed. I believed it was right, believed there was no threat, and sent Mythal and my betrothed to their deaths."

"You were not the only one attempting to broker peace. Mythal knew the danger and was prepared. It was not enough." He took her hand. "Her death is not your fault."

"This world is not what you hoped, I understand that, but it is better than the alternative. Our world was on the brink of annihilation! You gave this world over three thousand years it wouldn't have had."

"The threat of that still remains: The Blight, the Dwarves severed from the Fade completely, the misconceptions of magic, all of it is wrong!" He let go of her hand and turned away, looking out toward the Temple. "I will restore our people."

"It won't bring him back; it won't bring her back. Sometimes you have to let go of the past and move on."

"Do you know of his fate?"

"Only that he was captured, along with a few of her best warriors. He was likely made a slave, tortured and twisted, forced to serve, not the man I remember. Does it matter? He's gone, even if his fate wasn't death."

"I am sorry for what you have lost, for what our people have lost." His fists clenched and his jaw twitched. "We must retrieve my Orb."

"Why _did_ Corypheus have your Orb?" He didn't answer. "You allowed him to have it? But why? Look at the damage he has done!"

"He was to die in the explosion. I do not know how he survived, but I expected to retrieve my Orb. He was only meant to unlock it for me."

"And this world? Would you destroy this world and all in it for a chance to restore the elves to what they once were?"

"They would all be better off. They see only a muted image of what life truly is. Those in power are little different than the Evanuris."

"So you would start a new war to see them brought down? Did the last one not have enough bloodshed for you? Death and destruction are not the only answers!"

His stance became rigid. She'd pushed him too soon. "All the beauty of that world is gone. This world is dying; lives are over in the blink of an eye. Humans are brutes, ignorant of magic and the wonders of the Fade."

"Humans are odd. They think order and chaos are somehow opposites and try to control what won't be. But there is grace in their failings. I think you missed that."

"They're doomed!"

"Yes... but a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts, Solas…."

"You're unbelievably naïve." (1) Though I shouldn't find that surprising coming from a Spirit of Hope."

"And you are arrogant, blinded by your stubborn pride!" There was no point in continuing the argument. Both of them were angry and refused to listen to the other. Cara left the Fade in a puff of purple smoke.

"Bad dream?" Maxwell's voice startled her as she woke.

"Sorry, if I woke you." She would neither confirm nor deny the nightmare assumption. Since Redcliffe, there had been enough of them to warrant his question.

"You didn't, I've been awake for some time."

Just then the surgeon entered and pulled the curtain between them. She wanted to take one last look at the burn on her back.

"Solas' healing abilities are amazing, nearly scar-free. Any stiffness when moving?" The only thing difficult about the healing was that it took five days instead of one. Solas was a passable healer; by elvhen standards, he lacks experience, and the power to heal quickly. As soon as she was cleared, she intended to finish the process and remove even the faint scarring left behind.

"Not really, no more than I expect there to be." Solas had fully healed the muscles under the skin; the rest was superficial for the sake of keeping their identities secret.

She nodded and declared Cara well enough to leave, then checked on Maxwell, pushed the curtain back, then left. The potions and the healing Solas had done sped his recuperation, but it would still be another day or two. The longer he healed, the less likely he would re-injure himself during training workouts, and the surgeon knew he wouldn't rest once released.

"I bet you're glad to be leaving today," Maxwell said.

"I am, what about you? How do you feel?"

He stretched and grimaced. "She's right; another few days, I think. It will be rather boring around here unless I get a new tent mate."

"I'm sure Dorian will stop by for a chess rematch. Just watch out; he cheats."

"I do not cheat!" Dorian said as he entered our tent. "I simply use every advantage to win."

"You're up early," Cara said.

"I did promise to bring you a change of clothes, and distract Lord Trevelyan while you changed." He had brought her pack. Cara would have to see Harritt about new leathers, but at least she had a few cotton dresses. He held out one that was wrinkle-free. "I don't do this for just anyone, you know."

"You didn't have to do that; you could have sent them with Rylia." Just then Rylia entered, pulling the curtain that separated the two cots.

"He didn't," she said. "I took care of the wrinkles; he just insisted he carry it to look like he'd done the work." Rylia was the elf who walked in when Mia woke in Haven after sealing the rift.

"I am deeply offended by that small truth." He winked at Cara. "I hope this is the one you wanted." He held out the pale lavender one with the corset that went over the outside rather than underneath. "I thought a corset against your skin might be uncomfortable for a while."

"Thank you, Dorian. What would I do without your fashion sense?"

"Hopefully, you would dress better than our resident hobo."

Cara couldn't help but chuckle at his comment.

"I'm sorry, Master Solas. Mistress Carina already has two visitors; she'll be leaving as soon as she's changed. You can wait here, or perhaps I can take her a message?" the surgeon said from outside the tent. Cara felt her cheeks heat. She hadn't expected him this soon after their argument.

"Speak of the devil…" she whispered.

"No, I will seek her out later. Thank you."

Dorian waited until he thought the mage was out of earshot. "Trouble between you and Solas? He's rarely up and about this early."

"Nothing serious, just a difference of opinion. It's not the first we've had, and I'd be surprised if it was the last."

Dorian seemed to think this over a while, his forehead creasing in a frown.

"You'll cause wrinkles if you keep thinking so hard," she teased. "Now scoot so I can get dressed."

Maxwell chuckled from the other side of the screen. "Come on, mage, you owe me a rematch."

With Dorian and Maxwell occupied, Rylia helped her dress. Cara couldn't wait to be free of the healer's tent.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A big thanks to [Drosophila](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetal_drosophila)  and [SableR ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SableR)for their beta skills!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) Quoted conversation between Vision and Ultron in Marvel’s Age of Ultron, movie. It just fits what I would imagine Carina would say to Solas regarding his plans.


	20. Leaving for Denerim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas thinks he's left Cara safe at Skyhold, but Leliana has a mission for her she can't refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-23-16 Switched from First Person POV to Third, along with minor edits made to grammar and sentences for clarity.

The balcony overlooking the main yard of Skyhold was ideal for watching the comings and goings of the Keep. Workers scurried about, cleared rubble, and returned with usable material. Skyhold, already an impressive fortress, was becoming a breathtaking sight. The lower courtyard had been cleared, making a way to the stables. Merchants, stocked by weekly deliveries, had set up shop there and tents housed refugees, and soldiers.

Behind her, in the loft, the occasional grunt or complaint was heard as the furniture Cara requested was carried up. Mia had been more than happy to let her take over the space that overlooked the Hall. Cara thought she was almost jealous of her choice, but the tower room was more spacious and would provide Mia with the security her new position required.

Mia had been named Inquisitor. It was an honor for anyone, and Cara was pleased to know the position was filled by someone who would do everything to better lives, rather than horde power for personal gain. Unfortunately, she had many enemies simply due to her title and position. Mia was leaving for the Fallow Mire. Soldiers had been captured because someone wanted to challenge The Herald of Andraste. Solas, Cassandra, and The Iron Bull rode with her.

Cara would be lying if she said she was disappointed to be left behind. After the Storm Coast, she’d decided that others are better suited to fight in the rain than herself. Though, after Haven, no one was surprised she was left behind. Dorian said it was Solas' insistence that she stay in Skyhold to fully recover. He, of all people, knew she had fully recovered, but he'd become overprotective. Cara watched them leave; waited for him to turn back and look for her.

"He didn't turn to look. He wanted to, but he can't." Cole appeared beside her. "He thinks it helps, but it doesn't."

Cara surprised Solas by asking him to collect three wisps for her. More so, when she marked their relative locations on a map. Holding her smirk until she left the Atrium was difficult, but it's best that he speculates how she knew certain things, rather than her explain. She still had trouble wrapping her head around the idea that Thedas was a real world and not just a writer's imagination. How could he believe such a thing if she still struggled with it? Despite Mythal saying otherwise; part of her still believed that this was a crazy dream she might wake from.

"It's real. You are real."

"Thank you, Cole," Cara smiled at the strange boy in his floppy hat. "Has Mia decided to let you stay yet?"

"She is busy. I want to help." Cara felt him pushing at the edge of her mind and allowed him to see more. "You were once like me, but smaller. So happy. They loved you."

"Yes, and I loved them."

"They aren't gone if you remember." He titled his head up, just enough to show his blue eyes through his thin blonde hair. "Solas worries for you."

"I know."

"Afraid to corrupt you. Change you. He's forgotten how to hope." He looked out past the walls of Skyhold. "Yes, together we will help him. I want to help." Then he was gone.

Cole stood in the midst of the healing tents. He'd found someone else who needed help.

"Lady Carina, forgive my interruption, but I have a message from Lady Nightingale."

One of Leliana's scouts held a note out to her. Cara wasn't sure who had started calling her Lady Carina, but it had stuck with the staff and scouts. Even Josephine and Leliana used that title for her. Most of the Orlesian nobles found ways around it, but at least they didn't call her 'rabbit' or knife-ear' very often.

"Thank you…."

"Archer, ma'am."

"Are you to wait a reply?"

"No, only to tell you Lady Nightingale will be in the Aviary, should you have any questions." The elf bowed and left.

Leliana had wanted her to work for her since she heard Cara could sing, as well as fight. She'd been able to put her off while traveling with Mia, but now she had no excuses. She broke the seal.

_"Lady Carina,_

_I have a request to make of you; one The Inquisitor has already approved. We received word of a Venatori threat in Denerim and would like you to assist the Inquisition in dealing with this issue. I can give you more details once you agree to help. Please, come speak with me at your earliest convenience._

_Sister Leliana."_

Cara knew of the War Table mission from the game but hadn't given it any thought beyond assigning an adviser to handle it. She wasn't sure she would recognize a Venatori if she saw one, but she couldn't pass up an opportunity to help if she could. That Leliana had mentioned Mia's approval made her even more curious.

Due to the scaffolding, she needed to go through the Main Hall and then the library to reach the Aviary. Cara always got the most curious looks from the nobles as she walked past. They weren't sure what to make of her. Instead of armor, she wore dresses while at Skyhold. They were similar in style to those worn by Fereldan nobles, but she chose soft, gauzy materials so they flowed around her as she walked. Bonnie Sims had the material, Rylia, the lady's maid Mia had assigned her, helped her sew them. Cara had never been a slave, or a servant so she had no idea how to act like one. She wasn't an aggressive person, but she wasn't submissive either.

Cara passed through the library and Dorian called her over. "Ah! Just the person I was hoping to see." At his feet was a pile of books he'd unceremoniously tossed on the floor. "You would think the Inquisition would have a better selection of informative tomes. Rubbish, all of them." He swept his hand at the pile with a sneer.

"That's the Dorian I know and love, critiquing every book in the library."

"Of course, and why shouldn't I? Why, if this were Minrathous, these books would be found under 'fiction', not listed as reference material!"

"Did you need something? I was on my way to meet Lady Nightingale."

"The lovely Sister Leliana. She must have a titillating assignment for you. If it gets you out of Skyhold, perhaps you will allow me to accompany you."

"I will ask Leliana."

"Wonderful! You mustn't keep her waiting, I simply wanted to ask you to join me for the noon meal. I do enjoy your company, my dear."

"I would like that. My loft should be set up by then, why not meet there?"

"Splendid, we can sit and Lord over the Keep while the peasants dine below." His mustache twitched, and his eyes shone. Cara couldn't help but giggle.

She curtsied. "I would be honored. Until then, Lord Pavus."

"I will count the moments until we meet again, my dear." He winked.

"Naturally."

Cara found the stairs to the Aviary and entered the ravens' den. She’d never been fond of birds. They are one of the few creatures that don't seem to like her. She enjoys watching them fly, especially birds of prey as they hunt, but up close they intimidate her.

"Lady Nightingale, I received your message."

"Please, call me Leliana."

"Gladly, as long as you call me Carina or Cara."

Leliana’s eyes swept over her latest dress. "Your design is lovely. I overheard some of the nobles asking their servants to find who your seamstress is."

"We mustn't let them know I design my own. I have the sketches; we could invent someone to design them."

"That is an excellent idea, you could make a fortune, and no one would suspect. It galls them that an elf dresses better than they do without even trying." Her light laugh was refreshing. "Have you decided to help with this issue then?"

"I have. I assume this must come from one of the nobles, or even the Palace." Cara loved knowing as much as Leliana did, then pretend to guess the details.

"You are very astute, which is why I think you will be perfect for this."

"I'm not sure that I will be able to detect who the Venatori are, but I might be able to draw them out."

"That was my thought as well. The Palace is preparing for the annual celebration of the battle against the Archdemon, King Alistair has asked me to provide the entertainment. You are just what we need. An elf who doesn't conform to their beliefs, one who acts more like gentry than a servant. You will provide the distraction and bait as it were, but you needn't worry about engaging in the fight unless you wish. An old friend of mine will be handling that."

"I will be ready, nonetheless. It seems no matter how much I wish otherwise; I find myself in the thick of things. I will need some songs and sheet music. I'm afraid I don't remember any of the popular songs."

Leliana gave her a sly smile and handed her a stack of parchment. "You will find these useful. They are about the Hero, the Blight, and Ferelden. Most likely those you don't include will be requested by the audience, so be sure to learn them all. Merydan has agreed to spend time with you over the next few days to help if you need it."

"You were certain I would take this mission, weren't you? What if I had said no?"

"I would send this on to one of my agents closer to Denerim. I am glad you are going; you resemble the Hero. Even if you didn't sing I would ask you to go. Seeing someone that resembles Lyna would be enough to throw them." Lyna and Cara had the same hair color, but her eyes were darker, more blue than Cara’s, and she had the Dalish vallaslin.

"Would it be possible for Lord Pavus to join me? He expressed a desire to get out of Skyhold, and he might be helpful in drawing out the Venatori."

"I will need to clear that with King Alistair while we have reason to trust Lord Dorian, the King may not feel comfortable allowing someone from Tevinter to openly join the celebration."

"I understand, and I know Dorian would appreciate you asking. Thank you Leliana, I will seek out the minstrel for help with the songs."

 

* * *

 

The trip to Denerim would take at least a week. Their arrival was timed to enter the city just days before the week-long celebration would begin. Maxwell would be the official representation of the Inquisition. King Alistair and Queen Anora had extended Dorian an invitation, as well.

Hanin was disappointed that he wasn't going; the stables couldn't accommodate the stag, so Cara was riding Rascal. As long as they didn't race across the fields he was well behaved. During the final weeks in Haven she had worked with him daily; he wasn't the same horse she had first ridden. Nugs and rams no longer frightened him.

Remus was also staying behind, but Cullen and Blackwall assured her he would be well cared for, and taken hunting often. Since Haven he rarely let her out of his sight and whined considerably during their goodbye. He stood with Cullen as they rode out of Skyhold. Cara looked back and waved one last time before they turned out of sight.

"He'll be alright, Violet. Curly will keep him busy," Varric said.

Cullen planned for him to help train recruits. There has been a rash of dog attacks throughout Ferelden, and wolves were attacking scouts in Orlais. It will be good for everyone. Harritt had completed his armor, so there was little risk of him being injured during training.

 

* * *

 

They made it to Redcliffe before nightfall. They had intended to stay at taverns and Inns when available. They hadn't planned well enough and found a shortage of rooms in Redcliffe.

"I'm sure you can find another room for our companion here?" Maxwell asked the owner. "She is no servant, and requires a room of her own."

"I have no qualms renting to an elf, my Lord, that isn't the problem. I don't have a room to spare. I can place a cot in one room and you three gentlemen can room together, or she can share with one of you."

"I can stay with the scouts, there are a couple of women with the group, it's no problem."

"Nonsense, my dear, you will room with me," Dorian said.

"Are you certain, Lord Pavus?" Maxwell asked.

"Sparkler and Violet are just friends, Charming. They've been looking out for each other since they dealt with Magister Alexius," Varric told him.

"My thanks to you both," the owner began, "business has picked up since you ran the Venatori out of here. I'll throw in dinner for the two of you for the inconvenience, but I'm afraid I can't spare another room."

"Thank you, ser," Cara said.

He handed her a room key. "This one has a private bath, miss." He handed a key to each of the men. "There is a men's bath at the end of the hall, your room key will work on the door. We begin serving dinner in one hour. Will you be eating downstairs or in your rooms?"

"Downstairs is fine; we don't require special treatment," Cara said.

The owner relaxed at that. "I will reserve you a table."

 

* * *

 

The private bath was heavenly. Since arriving in Thedas Cara had either bathed in a stream or used public baths. Josephine assured her that her room would be ready when she returned and a bath would be included. Such things were reserved for the Inner Circle or visiting dignitaries.

Cara couldn't linger, though, she wanted to be dressed before Dorian returned to their room. She slipped the dress over her head just in time. A quiet knock on the door announced him just before he opened it.

"I didn't think about needing my lady's maid while traveling, can you tie the back of my dress?" Cara didn't want to wear her travel armor to dinner but had forgotten that all of her dresses required help.

Dorian blushed a bit. "I'm not very adept at women's clothes, but I will try."

"It's simple, it just needs tightened a bit and then tied in a bow. If Solas can handle it, I'm sure you can."

"Our resident Hobo knows about women's stays? I'm rather impressed. Did he help you out of your gown, or into it, my dear?"

"Oh stop, you know there's only been a few shared kisses. He's been rather distant the past two weeks."

"I'm sure he's just been preoccupied with recent events," he said.

"I'm not so sure, I think he's taken on the role of my protector, much like yourself, rather than the role of an interested suitor." After their argument in the Fade, he'd avoided her. He'd apologized for his part in the argument and the things he had said. He'd also apologized for the kiss. It was too similar to the discussion with a Lavellan Inquisitor, but not as hopeful. There was no hint at a possible relationship. Cara suppose that was her fault. Knowing the possible outcome, she wasn't confident that their relationship would fare any better, and she hadn't pushed the issue.

"There all done, I think." Dorian's voice drew her from her thoughts.

"Thank you." Cara tied the larger sash around her waist, covering the smaller bow and they joined everyone for dinner.

* * *

 

She stepped behind the screen and changed into a sleeping gown. "You really have no problem sharing a room?" she asked.

"Not if you don't. You do know you have nothing to worry about, my interest is…"

"I know." They hadn't actually had this talk yet.

His face lit up and his whole body relaxed."You know? I'm relieved; I was worried you might be upset once you found out."

"Not at all. Though, I hope this doesn't mean I have to stop flirting with you."

He brightened at that. "I should hope not! I do enjoy our little chats, and the gossip after." He looked at the bed and blushed. "I should warn you that I am a cuddler. I can't seem to help it; I naturally gravitate toward the nearest heat source."

"Don't fret about it, I don't mind cuddling with a friend. Half of Skyhold thinks we have been having an affair, then there is Solas. If the three of us spend any time together the whispers start up. Have you noticed?"

"I hope I haven't caused you more trouble. That incident in Haven was bad enough."

Cara shook her head and pulled the covers down, at least the bed was clean. Though, for a tavern in Redcliffe, the room was rather nice. "I think he gave us his best room." She blew out the candle on her side and slipped under the covers.

Dorian pulled the covers down on his side and the room went dark. The faint light from the fireplace cast shadows on the wall. She was nearly asleep when the bed shifted and strong arms pulled her closer. "Mia tells me you are a dreamer," he said. "That she had met you in the Fade once."

"I am. The Anchor seems to help her focus, and she can find people in the Fade. What about you?"

"Not without lyrium, though, I have heard if you are visited by a dreamer, you experience the Fade in a new way."

"Would you like me to find you after you fall asleep? Redcliffe isn't exactly the place for warm and fuzzy dreams. It has too bloody of a history. In the last decade, there have been many battles fought here."

"I was thinking of you, and that awful time you had here. Can't you dream of somewhere else?"

"I can try. Would you like to see Skyhold or Haven? Those would be the easiest to recreate since we both know them."

"Skyhold, Haven was so dreary and cold. Not that Skyhold is much warmer, but it is more charming than rustic."

"Alright." Cara laced her fingers around his and cast a spell over them. "It will help you focus." She told him. "Now sleep. Think of Skyhold; think of my loft."


	21. Hope not Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops at all.” – Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)  
> Cara shows Dorian the Fade, and Solas learns of her trip to Denerim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-23-16 Switched from First Person to Third Person POV, and made minor edits for grammar and sentence structure for clarity.

Cara walked through the Main Hall of Skyhold, surveying the illusion that had been created. The scaffolding was gone, the roof and walls repaired. The stones were rough and new. It was Skyhold from many years ago before the last occupant had abandoned the keep to time and ruin. It was harder to create this illusion than the current state, but she wanted it as it was at the peak of its existence.

Minus any illusion of occupants, past or present. This was meant to be a quiet place to meet, somewhere safe to talk and give Dorian a chance to experience the Fade through the eyes of another. Cara walked up the stairs to the loft and found him where she expected him to be. Lounging across the chaise lounge. His face was lit by candle light and his eyes shone.

“This is amazing! But how do you keep spirits from changing things?” he asked. “Without lyrium, I can’t keep the images for any length of time.”

“You stay focused on what you wish to see. Or focus on an event in history and allow the spirits to show you old memories. As long as you are centered, focused and avoid strong emotions you should pass through without issue.”

“The first time I was in the Fade; I was in a lovely castle. I shared a bowl of grapes with a Desire Demon. We had a lovely chat before he tried to possess me.” He stared at the table for a moment then sank back with a sigh. “I guess I cannot call them.”

Cara waved her hand over the table and a bowl of dark purple fruits appeared.

“Remarkable! You must teach me how you did that.” He took a handful.

“Anyone that dreams has the potential, few try to understand the nature of the Fade. Their ignorance causes them to miss many wonders, or they corrupt spirits they encounter.”

“So, we could explore the history of Skyhold, rather than sit here eating Fade fruit.”

“Not from here, we would need to be in Skyhold. Spirits are attracted to weaknesses in the Veil. They press against it to feel the emotions of the people in the waking world, absorb their memories and stay in those areas to preserve the essence of histories. Each area has spirits that hold memories of that place and events.”

“You say ‘waking world’, but you mean the ‘real world’. The Fade is nothing but an idea; it changes shape at the whim of mages and spirits. Long ago, my countrymen tried to map the Fade. It changed with each visit.”

“Did the grapes taste real? Were they firm in your hand? The juice has stained your fingertips. Are they less real because you are sleeping?” Cara stood and opened the door to the balcony, allowing a breeze to blow through. “Is the wind any less real against your skin? How is something defined as real? Magic works just as it does in the waking world. Some spells are easy to call, others more difficult. Here is where a mage can truly alter things, and where spirits can make them last through their memories.”

“I never thought of it that way, no wonder you find the Fade so fascinating.”

“This is a glimpse into the possibilities. The things that can be experienced are beyond words.”

“Solas is also a dreamer, correct? The mages whisper in the library. Some are in awe of him, others believe he is either possessed or one day will be.”

“No, of all explorers into the Fade, he is one that will never be at risk of possession. He understands spirits more than anyone I know. Since you called him, he will be along soon.”

“Really, just mentioning the name of a dreamer can get their attention? I hadn’t realized.”

A large shadow moved across the hall. Did Dorian sense the magic shift as she did?

“Hello, Solas,” Cara said as he stepped through the door. This wasn’t how she hoped to tell him of her trip.

“You are not at Skyhold, I searched there for you first.” His eyes narrowed on Dorian.

“No, Dorian and I are on our way to Denerim. We are at the tavern in Redcliffe.”

“You were to stay in Skyhold, not go off on a mission. Who approved this?” His voice was strained, shoulders tense, one hand fisted at his side. Cara hadn’t expected him to be happy she wasn’t at Skyhold, but she hadn’t anticipated this reaction.

“I say, that’s a bit heavy-handed of you, Solas. Cara is in no danger. Maxwell, Varric and I will ensure her safety.”

“And yet, you risk her safety by visiting her in the Fade. You have little understanding of spirits, or the nature of the Fade, and have minimal control over your own dreams.”

“Solas, you’re being unfair. Dorian may not understand as you do, but he is not so lacking. He understands enough to know that Redcliffe might be unpleasant for me. He wishes to learn; can you fault him for seeking knowledge?” Cara had hoped to soften his anger.

“At great cost to your strength and focus; already the images falter. You cannot hold the illusion forever, and when it fails you will be left defenseless.”

“I’m sorry, Cara. I had no idea this was so difficult. I shouldn’t have suggested it,” Dorian said.

“It’s alright, I am stronger than he thinks.” Cara let most of Skyhold fall away, leaving the staircase, the loft, and balcony. Around them, the Fade came alive with wisps and lesser spirits. Dorian sat up straight at the sudden change. “Again, you treat me like a child, Solas. I know the danger, and understand my limits.”

“Perhaps, I should go, let the two of you talk.”

Solas nodded at him, “Yes, you should ‘wake up’.”

“Was that necessary, Solas?” Cara crossed her arms over her stomach and flexed her fingers. The spell she used still tied her to Dorian, and she felt his hand tighten in hers.

“You risk too much showing him the Fade and what you can do. Even now, you defy the rules as he knows them.” Solas shook his head, his mouth curved up on one side. “I didn’t expect such rebellion from you.”

“Then you have forgotten what Hope is.”

“Have I? Or has the other world changed you and it is you that has forgotten?”

“Hope is not weak, it is strength; it holds to a belief in the face of uncertainty and opposition. It finds the sliver of light in the darkness and fights to give it a hold, to make it brighter. It is what soldiers cling to when the battle is all but lost. It is what people cry out for when all around them is death and anguish.”

Cara willed the spirits to show her the battle against the undead. They watched as Lyna spoke to Murdock; her words filled him with hope despite the odds.

“Hope is believing in yourself and others, even when everything seems lost. Without hope, they would have perished and The Blight would have spread across Ferelden. One seemingly unimportant village was the key to it all. Lyna understood that, even when her companions doubted her.”

His eyes were wide, his heartbeat just a bit faster and louder than before, as they watched the battle unfold around them.

“Hope is the battle cry of the rebellious, as they fight to free themselves from oppression. Without it, there is no struggle, no reason to fight. Without Hope, there is no future. It is the anchor in a storm; a tether, that holds the soul secure in face of the turmoil that lashes at it.”

He took in a ragged breath and blinked to fight the moisture in his eyes.

“When we first found you, I fought a Despair Demon; it spoke of you. At the time, I did not see the connection. After you and I argued, I remembered, and its words haunt me.”

““Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops at all.” – Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) "It is a song not easily silenced.”

Cara cupped his cheek, her thumb smoothing away the tear that fell. “I’m just as real as you. While I have memories of a recent life, I also remember my life before. I’m not a child, and I’m not weak.” Cara let the illusions fall away with a thought. Spirits and wisps surrounded them. Solas tensed. “I don’t fear them here, they are drawn to me and I draw my strength from them. Every hopeful memory and emotion they remember makes me stronger. Even those that have forsaken their positive virtues, remember.” The spirits spread out and drifted away.

“I did not expect you to find such control over the Fade. You had the power but lacked the understanding. I worried that you would be in danger.”

“I had a year to learn that control, but I was still hampered by my own imagination. When Mythal released my memories, I understood.” Cara tilted her head and gave him a half smile. “Few can rival my command over the Fade, now. This is where my true power is.”

His eyes danced with light, his lips curled up for a moment before his stern expression was back in place. “You cannot use this power in Denerim, what do you plan to do when faced with a fight?”

“I’m in no real danger. There will be trained bards and assassins, as well as, Maxwell, Dorian, and Varric nearby. You know I’m not defenseless, Solas. It benefits the mission for me to appear defenseless.”

“What is the nature of this mission, who has sent you?”

“Lady Nightingale, with Mia’s approval. I’m part of the entertainment at the week-long celebration of the end of the 5th Blight. We think that my demeanor will draw out the Venatori within the palace. I’ll be shadowed by an assassin, at all times, for protection. He’s quite good at his job.”

“I know you were in more danger in Arlathan, but please be cautious. I left you at Skyhold, within the walls of my home, for a reason. The wards there would have kept you safe from all harm.” His hands were on her upper arms, his forehead against hers.

“You can’t lock me away to protect me, Solas. That would do me more harm than good in the long run.”

“I acted rashly, something I have not done for many centuries. You have that effect on me, even now. You make me ...”

Cara slid her hand around the back of his neck, his breath caught in his throat and his words failed him. “Good.” The word spoken softly as she pulled him closer. “I’ve missed you. Please don’t shut me out.”

His arms circled her waist and held her against him as his mouth covered hers, but before the kiss deepened, she yelped and pushed away,

“Sorry. Dorian, pinched me. I forgot we were sharing a bed.” The spell she had cast connected them still. Cara severed the link between them.

His grip on her waist tightened, his eyes narrowed and his jaw twitched. “Why are you sharing a bed with Dorian?”

“You aren’t jealous are you?”

“Hardly.” His back stiffened, his chest puffed out and his brow furrowed at her laughter.

“ _Ir abelas_ , Solas. Have you forgotten that Dorian is not attracted to women? We are only friends, nothing more. We’re sharing a room because he and Maxwell wouldn’t let me sleep with the scouts.” Cara reached up and smoothed the wrinkles from his forehead. “I'm not interested in Dorian.”

He relaxed, hugging her against him. “You deserve better, Carina, but I am loath to let anyone else have you. This could lead to trouble.”

She slipped her arms around his back, sinking into his embrace, the rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear. “If I’m pressuring you...” She held her breath and closed her eyes tight.

“No, perhaps I am pressuring myself.” He turned from her, his chin down. “I still expect you to despise me for what I have done to our people. For what you have suffered.”

“We have discussed this.” She touched his chin. “You did what was expected of you. You stopped them, what happened after is a side effect, but you cannot take all the blame.”

He let out the breath he held with a shaky laugh. “You are too forgiving, _lethallan_." He gave her a short, gentle kiss. “Go, reassure Dorian you are alright.”

* * *

“You forgot I was here, didn’t you!” Dorian said when she woke.

Cara was facing him. “I’m sorry, I…thanks for reminding me.”

“Oh, that wasn’t a reminder, that was for trying to kiss me!”

She laughed, mortified that she had acted out the kiss. “Sorry, it was the spell. It connected us through here and the Fade. A precaution, if you ran into danger I could wake you. I forgot the strength of the connection.” She laughed at his expression. His eyes were wide, but his lips twitched. “I’m sorry, really….”

“Just don’t let it happen again. Next time I might just cast a fireball rather than pinch you!”

Cara still laughed, and soon his own laughter joined hers. Something hit the wall at the head of the bed and she clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. She turned away from Dorian, hoping that if she didn’t see him she would compose herself. He buried his head in her hair and his own body shook with silent laughter.

“You know they will wonder what we’ve been up to tonight.” He said between ragged breaths.

She groaned at the thought. “It doesn’t matter; Mother Giselle already thinks we’ve been sleeping together since you arrived in Haven. Even Solas thought there was something going on. It was why he was so angry with you.”

“I take it you and Solas, have once again, reached an understanding? Frankly, my dear, you deserve someone that won’t make you question how they feel.” His voice was low so they didn’t disturb Maxwell and Varric more.

“Earlier you defended him.”

“That was before he was such a bore about you leaving Skyhold.”

“Haven shook him; he doesn’t want me hurt like that again.”

Dorian pulled her against him and shivered. “Sorry, I’m cold. It’s more than that, you don’t avoid someone for weeks after an argument. Not without some kind of closure.”

“Solas worries he’s not worthy of me.”

“Oh, well, that is…. then I will give the man the benefit of doubt. But not forever, you have become a dear friend and I don’t want you hurt.”

“You’re so sweet, Dorian. I’m lucky to have such a friend.”

He laced his hand with hers and gave it a squeeze. “Is it safe to sleep again?” He yawned. “We’ve had a long ride today and almost a week of such days still. This may be the last bed we get before we reach Denerim.”

Cara knew he asked for her sake, he’d told her that he rarely remembers his own dreams. “Yes, nothing to fear. Rest, the Fade will stay quiet for me.” Solas would ensure that. She snuggled into Dorian’s warm embrace and was soon lulled to sleep by the soft beating of his heart.

* * *

Cara woke before Dorian and sighed. The wrong man shared her bed. The one she wished to spend her time with hadn’t sought her again last night. She dressed in her travel leathers and armor. Just as she finished braiding her hair there was a soft knock at the door.

“Breakfast.” A quiet voice called.

Cara opened and let the maid in with the tray. She set it down and stood mesmerized by the sight of the bare-chested man in the bed. She blushed when she saw Cara's smile.

“Oh! Forgive me, Mistress, but I’ve never seen so fair a mon.”

Cara handed her a silver coin. “No harm in looking, he is rather easy on the eyes.”

She curtsied, thanked her for her kindness and backed out the door. With a soft sigh, she pulled the door closed. Cara tried to stifle her laughter, so she didn’t wake Dorian, but his grumbling told her she wasn’t quiet enough.

“Something amusing, my dear?”

“Just the maid’s reaction to such a handsome man on display.”

“And why is that so amusing? I am rather exceptional. Full of wit and charm to match my good looks.”

“Well, today at any rate.” Sometimes she had to bait him.

“Oh! You wound me!” His mock surprise and smile was worth it. “Is there at least food to soften your cruel words? After my exceptional cuddling last night, the least you can do is feed me.”

“There is, but if you think I’m going to play the servant and feed you breakfast in bed you may want to step up your cuddling skills.”

“You are heartless, Cara.” He slipped out of bed. She was thankful he’d worn cotton pants to bed, she didn’t know that she would have been comfortable around a nude Dorian. Even so it was hard not to admire his chiseled abs and strong shoulders.

“Do find a shirt, Dorian. You may not find the female body distracting, but I happen to admire a well-toned man.”

His eyes sparkled. “I never dress before breakfast.” He would be a tease this morning, paybacks for the near kiss.

“Then shall I call Maxwell to join you?”

“Not if you want to get on the road today.”

Cara felt her cheeks and neck grow warm. “So, the two of you have gotten close?”

“Not that close, but I am grateful you introduced us. He’s almost as charming as I am.” He took pity on her and grabbed a shirt.

Maxwell and Varric knocked just as they finished eating.

“I’m surprised, Violet, not only did you keep the mage up all night, doing Maker knows what, you have him up and fed at a decent hour,” Varric said.

“What can I say, it's a talent.”

Varric knew there was nothing between Dorian and Cara, the show was for Maxwell’s sake. It had the desired effect; his face turned pink.

“I’ll pay for the rooms while you get ready,” Maxwell said.

“Violet and I will help with the horses. Hurry up, Sparkler, it’s a full day's ride to Lake Calenhad, and The Spoiled Princess,” Varric said. “But, if you make us late we’ll be sleeping in tents instead of warm beds.”

Dorian was ready in record time. Varric gave Cara a wink as Maxwell handed him a handful of coins. She was disappointed she wasn’t let in on the bet, but there would be other opportunities with Varric around.

 


	22. Secret Agenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara arrives in Denerim and is greeted by an old friend of Leliana's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, I'd thought this and the next would work together, but essentially decided to split them up. I didn't drop this one because it gave me the opportunity to write Zevran. It also gives insight into Cara's motivation for taking on these war table missions.
> 
> Edit: 5-23-16 Switched from First Person POV to Third person POV.

Denerim was in a flurry of preparations. People scurried about with decorations and food, some struggled with heavy tables, others simply directed. All of it centered in the square near the Chantry. It was just as Cara had imagined it to be.

Much of the damage done during the Battle of Denerim had been repaired. New houses and shops lined the street, and some older buildings had new paint to blend with the new. The boardwalks still looked new, bows and colorful banners were draped between the columns.

Children raced to and fro, ducking under outstretched arms that carried baskets or merchandise. Indulgent parents and shopkeepers smiled at their antics. It was comforting to see such joy and peace on the faces around them.

As they rode in some workers stopped to stare, most looked on with curiosity, but a few seemed concerned by their arrival. Rascal danced nervously, when a child raced in front of him, chasing after a ball. Cara held him steady. There was too much commotion for the high-strung beast. She pulled a sash from her bag and covered his eyes, forcing him to focus on her rather than the sights. He trembled and pitched his ears towards the sounds around him. Cara rubbed his neck and spoke quietly, to hear her he would have to tune out the sounds of the city. It was an exercise in trust, as long as Rascal knew she wasn’t afraid, he had no reason to be afraid.

They stopped outside the tavern. To their left was the alienage, the gate was open, and elves dashed here and there, carrying banners and decorations they had crafted. Receiving coin, from grateful merchants, for their trouble. Their plight was somewhat improved since Alistair had become King, but there was only so much he could do. Eleven years ago elves had stood with the Hero and defended the market as well as the alienage. Without their aid, the Hero might not have reached Fort Drakon, where the archdemon was defeated. Denerim, at least, hadn’t forgotten their contribution.

They were to meet their contact here. Dorian hadn’t slowed them down, instead, his desire to get to a civilized town, had them arriving in Denerim an hour early. He was not one who enjoyed traveling or roughing it. He was also looking forward to having a real drink. The brandy he’d packed was gone, and he didn’t like the ‘swill’ Varric offered him. He was about to enter the tavern when Cara saw the blonde elf approaching.

“Hold a moment, Dorian here is our contact,” she said.

He was slight and trim, his armor little changed from what he once wore. At his temples were the first hints of silver in his long, blonde hair. Cara was thankful for the cowl over her head, she could enjoy the view as muscular thighs moved sensually with each step. Assassin might be his profession, but the man walked sensually, each movement intentional.  He exuded sex with every part of his being. His eyes roamed over her and a large grin broke over his face as if he knew what she was thinking.

Varric shook his head. “I don’t know how you do it, Violet.”

“One of my many charms,” she said.

“Ah, you are here earlier than I thought, forgive me. I thought to arrive an hour before you just in case. I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

“No, we just arrived,” she said.

He moved to see under her hood and his eyes grew wide a moment. “Maker’s Breath, you look…” He cleared his throat and gave her a sweeping bow. “Welcome to Denerim, I am Zevran Arainai, and it is my pleasure to escort you all. I hope you enjoy our Celebration.” His Antivan accent just as strong now as it was a decade ago.

“Thank you, Zevran. My friends and I were discussing the prospects of the tavern and refreshments. We are early, and didn’t wish to impose on our host.”

He held his arm to her. “No imposition, my dear. The Arl is expecting you.”

Cara slipped her hand around his elbow and his other hand covered hers.

“Forgive my surprise, you look like a dear friend of mine. I did not believe Leliana; I thought, a minor resemblance, no more. But you could be sisters.”

“I had heard there was a resemblance. Is it that strong then?”

“It is, it will be good and bad for you.” He shook his head and chuckled. “I am looking forward to a particular person's reaction.”

“The King’s, I imagine he is still bitter over events that happened a decade ago?”

“So, you have been warned? But then, Leliana wouldn’t send you here without important details.”

Cara was thankful of the hood at that moment, as her ears and cheeks warmed. She had said more than she should have. Leliana hadn't warned her about Alistair, but she knew how events had played out.

“You needn’t worry; his anger will be but a flash, and then he will prostrate himself at your feet, begging your forgiveness.”

Cara didn’t hold back the short laugh. “Oh, I doubt that. He will avoid me, cast smoldering looks my way, as he imagines that I am Lyna and all the things he wishes to say to her.”

His hand over hers tightened. “You find humor more easily than she did.” He sighed.

“Were you two close?” Cara heard they had begun something but, once Tamlen was found, she ended it.

“For a short time we were very close, but she found her true love, and rescued him. I cannot be sad for us when she is now so happy.”

“I’m sorry, I hope I haven’t brought up unpleasant memories.”

They had reached the gate to Arl Eamon’s estate.

“They are never unpleasant when you have enjoyed your time together. And now, I find myself in service of another beautiful goddess. I am truly a lucky man.”

Someone behind them coughed. It was either Varric or Dorian, but Cara could imagine them both rolling their eyes at Zevran’s forwardness.

“Flatterer.”

“I say you are beautiful because it is true. I am a man who enjoys beauty. Pleasure is to be taken whenever possible. In the life of an assassin, death is the only certainty. One must live in the moment, or there is nothing to live for.”

“So few are able to do that. They believe someday things will be right for love, or a family and all too quickly time is gone, and that life never happens.”

“See, we are kindred spirits. I knew the moment I saw you, that we would become good friends.”

“Maybe not _that_ type of friend.”

“I would be surprised if there wasn’t someone special. Do let me know if the situation changes.” He took her hand from his elbow and brought it to his lips, brushing them lightly across her knuckles. He was so very smooth. Still forward, but more mature in his flirtations, a very charming man, who knew well his own appeal. “Come, the Arl awaits.”

They entered the gate and servants rushed forward to take their horses. They would stop here for the day, then Dorian and Maxwell would be leaving for the palace. For appearance sake, Cara’s invitation would come later.

They were ushered through the door and led to the Arl’s study at the back of the house. The Arl had aged much in the last ten years. He was much thinner and seemed sadder. When the door closed behind them Cara pushed back the hood. His eyes grew wide.

“Arl Eamon, Lady Carina, of the Inquisition.” Zevran introduced her.

“The resemblance… Connor had mentioned you looked like the Hero of Ferelden, but I hadn’t expected such a strong resemblance.”

“I believe that is one of the reasons I was chosen. Thank you, for your hospitality, Arl Eamon.”

He nodded and Cara introduced her companions. He dipped his head to each one, but his eyes narrowed a bit when they fell on Varric.

“King Alistair told me of your little… misadventure. I should be angry that you encouraged him, but I am grateful you brought him home safe.”

“That’s a trip I would be happy to forget ever happened.” He shook with the unpleasant memory. His face twisted in pain.

“He is much changed since that trip, more determined. Anora has met her match after all. I will let you wash up, and rest before lunch, we can talk later.”

Eamon rang for a servant to show them to their rooms. He had provided a place for Dorian and Maxwell to freshen up as well. They would have two hours to rest before lunch was served. Cara was looking forward to a hot bath. They’d spent the last two nights in tents, with only a quick dip in the stream to remove trail dirt and sweat.

She followed the maid down the hall, Zevran at her side. The girl kept glancing at Cara, her expression was one of curiosity and surprise. She opened the door for her. Zevran took her arm.

“Please, let me enter first.” He surveyed the room as only one trained could. When he felt it was safe he called them in.

The maid showed her where the linens were kept, and just as she left, her bags arrived.

“Do you need to check those as well?” Cara asked after the footman left.

“A precaution, you do understand. Leliana has charged me with your safety, it is a job I take most seriously.”

“Am I really in danger? I just arrived, and few know we were coming.”

“One can never be too careful. If the palace is unsure which servants are Venatori spies, how can we be certain they have not heard of your arrival?”

He made a good point, but she still didn’t like the idea of Zevran going through her personal things. He made no comments or faces until he found two sheaths of nug leather and throwing knives with matching handles. These were made to wear under dresses, one at the forearm, and one on the thigh.

“I did not know you were also a rogue. Leliana said mage and singer.” He held them up. “You actually know how to use these?”

“Here isn’t the place to demonstrate, I doubt the Arl would appreciate knife holes in the plaster.”

“No boasts to defend your skill?”

“I believe actions speak louder than words when it comes to fighting. Diplomacy, however, is where flowery speech and boasts come in handy.”

“The Denerim court won’t know what hit them. It will be a pleasure to work with you, my dear.” He moved to the adjoining bath and surveyed the room. “I will be just outside unless you require assistance washing your back, or any other delightful, but hard to reach places.”

Cara laughed, shaking her head. “You do realize, the constant barrage makes it hard to take you serious. Not that I don’t enjoy flirting, but this is a bit, over the top.”

“Ah, a woman of sophisticated taste. I will think of something that will have you swooning at my feet.”

“You are certainly welcome to try but, I warn you, the competition has set the bar pretty high.”

“Then he is a lucky man, to have such an admirer. The dark one, Lord Pavus.” He shook his head.  “No, though, he is dear to you. They all watch you with rapt attention, but you spared none but the mage more than a passing glance.”

Cara shook her head. “He is currently on mission with the Inquisitor. Dorian and I are just good friends.” How to explain that she felt protective of Dorian. Here he was the real outsider. He’d not only left his country and his family but had also joined an organization that worked in strict opposition to his countrymen's values.

“Then you must get so lonely at night. These Ferelden winters are harshest to those that sleep alone.”

She smiled at that, “Oh, I don’t spend my nights alone, distance is only an obstacle when you lack imagination.”

“I am intrigued, you must tell me how this works, but I will go, and let you prepare for lunch. If you require my services, just call for me.”

Shortly after he left the room a soft knock at the door preceded the elf from earlier. The Arlessa had assigned her to attend Cara while she stayed with them. The poor girl was nervous as if she was afraid of her, and Cara wondered just how difficult her life was, working for Isolde. She relaxed when she realized Cara was not going to be a demanding guest. Cara’s heart broke for her, and the many elves in similar positions. Once a proud and noble race, their legacy had all but been forgotten. Now her people were slaves and servants, living in fear and treated like animals.

Something needed to change, how, was what Solas and Cara disagreed on. Leliana believed she took this mission for the Inquisition, but Cara had her own agenda. She would begin the groundwork now. Build her own network of agents and secret alliances. Elves were not the only people worth caring about. Var Renan would rise again, a voice for everyone, not simply the elves.


	23. Denerim Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Zevran play a game of cat and mouse with the Venatori that have infiltrated the palace of Denerim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-23-16 Switched from First Person POV to Third person POV.

Cara arrived at the Palace, not only as an entertainer but a guest of Arl Eamon. Varric saw a dwarf he knew and moved off to say hello when the man waved him over. Zevran was already here, he'd left early this morning with a warning not to eat or drink anything handed to her by anyone but him or the King.

The nickname Varric gave her, was her 'stage' name, and Cara dressed the part. The silvery purple fabric she had created weeks ago made the perfect gown, and she felt like Cinderella. The fabric still moved and the color seemed to shift as she moved, but once the fabric became a gown that feeling of it being alive faded.

Eamon and Isolde stayed by her side until Cara was introduced to the King and Queen. She felt an entire Ballroom of eyes follow her every move, the anxiety of being on display made her heart race and her palms sweat. A few deep breaths helped her relax. This was simply the Game, the players may have changed, but the nuances were the same.

"You must meet my good friend, Violet." Moving toward her was Varric and another dwarf.

"Violet, I want you to meet a friend of mine; Gavin Harrowmont, this is Violet" he turned to his friend. "Violet is from Kirkwall. She stumbled into The Hanged Man one night and asked to sing for her supper. Of course, I immediately promoted her, and now she sings for kings and dignitaries."

"How did you end up in Kirkwall, of all places?" Gavin asked.

"We really don't like that to get out, but between us, Violet is an escaped slave from Tevinter." The farce was hard to swallow at first, but she couldn't argue its effectiveness.

Varric seemed to have as many connections as Leliana and soon the gossip was spoken from every mouth, whispered into every ear. Many congratulated her on the rags to riches tale, others looked on with pity. As the tale grew over the evening Cara marveled at just how effective that one sentence was. By the time she began to sing, the tale had evolved further. Not only was she an escaped slave, but was one of Denerim's own. One of the children from the Alienage, who had been sold into slavery to fund Loghain's bid to control Ferelden.

Queen Anora gave the rumor weight, by making a formal apology, on behalf of her father, even though she knew it was just a tale. Cara accepted it on behalf of the elves who had suffered such a fate. Her attention didn't stay on Cara long, or she might have given away that she was there for some other reason than to entertain them.

The nobles demanded her attention after Cara sang, and the rest of the evening was a whirlwind of new faces. Dorian and Maxwell had perfect timing, dragging her off to dance when overly drunk nobles became too insistent that she join them for a private conversation. It was not unlike the many gatherings given by nobles and the Enavuris. The key difference was then she had social standing, in Ferelden, Cara was little more than a servant and elves were often expected to fulfill any request.

Maxwell studied her while they moved around the dance floor. "I meant to compliment your dancing earlier, so few dance with such grace."

"Thank you, Lord Trevelyan, though I'm afraid I'm not familiar with all of them." They had to be cautious, anyone might overhear their conversation.

"I find that hard to believe, you've yet to stumble through any of the more complicated steps."

"I've been fortunate to have skilled partners, capable of leading, some of the steps can be confusing."

He leaned in a bit. "Are you holding up alright?"

"I am. Though, how I will last a week of this, I'm not sure."

Maxwell stopped mid-step, the hand on his shoulder belonged to King Alistair. "Mind if I interrupt?"

Maxwell bowed to him, "Not at all, Your Majesty."

Alistair gave her a large smile, bowed and took her hand. "I'm glad Zevran and Eamon warned me of the resemblance. From a distance, you look so much like the Hero."

Cara had heard this so many times since entering Denerim. Even if it was part of the plan, it was tiring to be compared to another. "Yes, I hear the resemblance is so strong her own mother wouldn't know the difference."

"I see how very different you are." His eyes roamed over her features, his brow furrowed a moment. "If you _were_ like her I could never go through with this plan."

Cara nearly missed a step, how could she forget the next part of the plan. She felt the heat fill her cheeks. Even though it was meant for show, there was a certain intimacy involved she wasn't certain she was comfortable with.

He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "Shall we get some air?"

Cara gave him a coy smile and nodded. The game began anew. It helped that she felt like she knew Alistair. Cara knew him to be a kind and honorable man, so she allowed him to lead her out to the garden.

"I'm not sure this is wise, Your Majesty."

"Please, call me Alistair, I feel like we are old friends. I've already heard much about you."

Cara cringed inwardly. "Good things I hope."

"Until I watched you charm everyone tonight I believed she had exaggerated, Leliana always was prone to bits of fantasy. Is there any charm left for your King?"

"Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I am not Ferelden. I have no King." Cara watched his face and waited for that flash of anger, or contempt; something to show she had insulted him, instead he tilted his head back and laughed. "You'll draw attention, Your Majesty."

"Alistair, and isn't that the idea?" He whispered against her ear. "So few look at me as anything but the man who controls their lives. That any moment I might be displeased enough to retaliate. It is refreshing to be treated like just a man." His hands shook as they brushed against her side, his heart raced. "Is this as awkward for you?"

Cara nodded and tried not to stand stiff as a board. It was just for show, she told heryself. He's not interested, just make it look good. "What of the Queen?"

"Anora no longer cares what I do, or who I spend my time with. Our marriage is political, in all ways."

"I'm sorry, I hope that life has not been unkind to you." He was King because of her. He felt betrayed because of her actions in the game.

"It has its moments; I've learned to enjoy them as they come. An old friend showed me that. What of you? I imagine that you make the most of those moments."

"It is a privilege to entertain. For a few songs, I meet the most interesting people and see the most wonderful places. Though, few I meet are as charming and handsome as Ferelden's King."

His warm laughter rang out again. "If you ever get tired of traveling, there is a place for you here."

"That is very kind of you, Your Majesty." Cara pretended to be flattered by his offer and attention. "Perhaps you can convince me to alter my plans."

He took her hand and pulled her deeper into the garden when the voices from the Ballroom grew close. "I find it still crowded, shall we seek a quieter spot?" He spoke for the benefit of the shadows that lurked just out of sight.

"I am at your mercy, oh King."

His grip tightened around her hand, "Alistair, just let me be Alistair, for tonight."

The garden was lovely, and were she there for any other reason than to draw out the King's enemies, she might have enjoyed it. The odd warmth that spread from the small circles his thumb made along the palm of her hand didn't help. How could she stay neutral if he was intent on making this seduction serious? At last, they came to a secluded bench, tucked into a dimly lit corner, covered on nearly every side by vining roses, she could feel the enchantment which kept them blooming year round. Cara pulled her hand from his and scraped her thumb along her palm, willing the sensation to stop.

He took her elbow and guided her to the bench, then handed her a glass. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Zevran has already tested these, it is safe to drink. The cheese too. If they know anything about me, I've a minor obsession with my hair and a love of fine cheese."

Cheese, she giggled at the thought. The man was cheese himself, adorable, and sexy. Especially the pose he chose, one foot on the bench beside her, leaned over bended knee. He tipped his glass to hers and then downed the content quickly. Pouring himself another. It was endearing that he was as unsure of this as she was.

Cara took a sip, champagne, or at least something similar, it was smooth and sweet and she drank more. It wasn't long before she felt the warmth of the alcohol spread. She'd been too nervous to eat, she still was. The piece of cheese she chose, stuck in her throat. She drank to wash it down, and he quickly filled her glass again. He picked up a piece of cheese, looked at it a moment then tossed it over his shoulder. He took her glass and set it back on the tray. It was empty again; Cara had drained it quickly to calm her nerves.

"This is still new to me. I haven't…" Cara tried to find a way to tell him this was her first mission, without saying anything about their plans.

He pulled her to her feet and his mouth covered hers, his kiss far gentler than anyone watching might think. His hands cupped her cheeks to hide how chaste the kiss was. "Relax, please, I will not force myself on you." He whispered against her mouth. Cara slipped her arms around his neck and let out a breathy sigh. His kiss was a gentle onslaught against her lips, kneading and caressing his closed mouth against hers. Despite her wish otherwise, it sent a pleasant tingle along her skin.

A faint noise to her right drew their attention. The form crumpled to the ground, just a second before a blade glinted in the moonlight. Zevran flashed a smile, full of bright white teeth, and then dragged the body out of view.

"One down." A shudder moved over her skin, had the man used magic they both could have been injured or worse. Alistair handed her another glass of champagne. Cara wished it was brandy instead and said so. She was more affected by his sweet kiss than she wanted to admit. Was she able to just enjoy the moment? Where did she draw the line? "We should return to the party. Give them something to wonder about."

"I think...Oh, right, _those_ people… Yes, I doubt there is only one."

Cara felt her cheeks warm. Of course, everyone else would think exactly what was expected. They had been obvious, and the conversation was meant to be overheard. The game would only be more dangerous from here out. If the others suspected a trap, they might try something more sinister rather than act rashly. Rashly, they could easily counter.

Dorian found her soon after they entered, and spun her across the dance floor. "The man with the lavender rose in his lapel, I'm certain I've seen him in Minrathous. He is a Laeton, a mage born into a non-magic family. They are often more dangerous in their fight for status and he was a friend of Danarius."

"Danarius? As in Fenris and Danarius?" At his nod, her blood ran with cold fury. "Dance his way then, let's see what he does."

Cara saw Zevran through the crowd and tipped her head coyly. His eyes followed them and when the nobleman stepped forward to interrupt their dance, she gave Zevran a short nod.

"Forgive me, but the young lady is in such demand, might I trouble her for a dance?" His accent was mild, but Cara could hear the hint of it. It was good, almost convincing. She put on her best smile as he moved them deeper into the room. "You sing with passion, and dance with such grace."

Cara dipped her head and smiled shyly. "Such a compliment, My Lord. One I don't deserve." Cara found they were near the garden entrance again. She tried to continue their turn around the room, but his grip tightened around her waist and hand as she was forced out the door. "My Lord, is something wrong?" Cara played the fool and smiled up at him through fluttered lashes.

His grip softened and he relaxed. "Not at all, I simply thought you might enjoy the fresh air. The Ballroom is so crowded; do you mind if we take a moment?"

"Not at all, My Lord." He released her and offered his arm. He didn't completely let his guard down. Cara was certain he was one of the Venatori they were looking for.

"I heard you were recently in Tevinter."

Cara could see he was new to the nuances of the Game, it betrayed his humble beginnings to ask such a leading question.

"For a short time, I was as an adolescent. I've been in Kirkwall until recently."

"The Free Marches, and which do you consider your home, Ferelden, Kirkwall or Tevinter?"

"Neither feel like home any longer. I suppose when I find a reason to stay in one place, then it will become home."

"Your talent will serve well. A shame it is lost on these Dog Lords." The last part came out in a hiss.

Cara pushed away, from him, but his grip was like iron around her wrist. She was thankful that the dress clung too well for her to wear the hidden sheaths. He'd have felt it the moment he grabbed her wrist.

"You need reminded of your place, slave." His faked accent was gone.

Cara didn't have to fake the fear in her eyes, she nearly panicked. Then remembered she wasn't helpless, and Zevran was nearby. "Y... yes, My Lord." Cara stammered. He relaxed his grip slightly, but she couldn't pull away.

"You will be very useful tonight." Cara felt him cast a spell and quickly shielded her mind. "The King is besotted with you. I hadn't realized he preferred elves; it explains why my plants have been unable to gain his favor. The Elder One will be pleased when you kill him tonight."

Cara nodded and tried to keep her expression neutral, but the shadow behind him caught her attention. His face twisted into a snarl when he realized his spell hadn't worked. Cara paralyzed him as his hand shot out to strike her. His gasp became a death gurgle. Zevran had appeared in the same moment and stabbed him through the jugular. Cara jumped away from the spurt of blood.

"Well done, my dear. We make the perfect team." Zevran flashed her a bright smile while she swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat. "Leliana said you were new to this; I had expected far less from you."

"I'm glad I've exceeded expectations, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up." Her skin felt clammy, and her breath caught in her chest. She could feel the lump in her throat. In an instant, Zevran had her sitting on a bench.

"Breathe, my dear. You have done well. At least we can be certain he was not simply a guest." His hand was on her back rubbing slow, gentle, circles. "It is good you are a mage, if he had been successful with his spell, I would have to kill you as well. Leliana would never forgive me."

"It would certainly put a damper on our relationship."

He chuckled then said, "good, you are feeling better already."

She felt a different hand on her back, and Alistair's voice was behind her. "I've got her now, Zev. Fine work. I hope there aren't many more. That was a bit closer than I'd like." He sat beside her, slipped an arm around her waist, and pulled her against him. "What you said earlier, you meant first mission didn't you?"

Cara nodded dumbly and leaned into him. She'd almost panicked. All those years of training and she had nearly forgotten it all. She felt a small glass pushed into her hand. The scent that reached her nose was fruity and strong. Brandy. She tossed back the drink. "Thank you."

They had drawn out two, but she knew there were two more. Cara knew one worked in the kitchen. Thanks to the chatty Venatori, they knew the others were women, sent in to get the King's attention. Zevran was certain tonight was when it would all happen. It was the height of the celebration and losing the King during this event would be a blow to Ferelden.

When she was composed she stood. "Let's try and finish this tonight. I can't take a week of this shit."

Just as they entered the Ballroom, Alistair grinned. "Are you ready for this?"

Zevran strolled by with a tray of glasses and she grabbed two. Alistair took one from her and drank it, while she sipped the other, trying to remember she was at a grand affair in Thedas, and not a bar in Montana. Maybe more alcohol wasn't the answer, she was already feeling tipsy.

"I'm surprised you're still standing, this stuff packs quite a punch." He took her glass and set them both on a tray as it passed by. Then his arms encircled her and they were dancing once more. There were knowing looks shared between the gentry.

"They seem to have gotten the idea," Cara said after the third dance in a row. The party was finally winding down, and the crowd had thinned. Those who stayed, waited for the gossip, to see what the King might do next.

Dorian tipped his glass at her and left the hall, Maxwell left soon after. Nothing had happened, of any interest for over an hour, there was no need for them to stay longer.

One of Alistair's guards came forward. "Your Majesty, Arl Eamon, and Master Tethras are preparing to leave, and the Arl asks if Violet is returning to the estate with him."

"This enchanting lady has accepted the Palace's invitation to stay the rest of the week, as our honored guest. Please extend an invitation to my Uncle, for lunch tomorrow."

The guard bowed and stepped away with a smirk.

Alistair waved a hand and a servant came near. "Please, escort Violet to the West Wing."

Cara bowed to Alistair. "Thank you, Your Majesty," and followed the maid through the palace.

* * *

The maid didn't enter the room with her. Cara stood just inside the doors as they closed behind her. The sitting area was distinctly male in decor. Furs and leather decorated the room. An elaborate tapestry of his coronation covered the wall above the fireplace. An open doorway to the right, showed a glimpse of the four poster bed, the master bedroom. The other door led to what she assumed was a study, the door was only ajar, but she thought she could make out a desk in the shadows. Cara whirled at the sound of the doors opening behind her to see Alistair enter.

He pushed the doors shut and leaned against them. "I worried the maid would have actually taken you to the West Wing. At least I don't have to worry about her loyalty."

Cara felt the heat in her cheeks, really she blushed far too much. "When she didn't follow me in, I realized this was your room."

"You aren't disappointed are you?"

"Would I offend you if I said yes?" It had been a long evening, she wanted to rest, to enjoy the buzz of alcohol through her veins and pleasant dullness that had settled over her mind. She supposed it was a selfish desire to sleep it off. Perhaps meet Solas in the Fade. "It's been a long night. I'm not used to large crowds."

"Zevran believes the other two will be drawn out by morning, until then, he suggested we stay together."

"What of Anora? Is she guarded as…. personally?"

"She is; her servants have been here since before the Blight. We suspect the identity of the final two, but we want them to act out of desperation just to be sure." He cleared his throat. "Her dear friend has been with her since before her marriage to my brother."

"Oh! You mean?" Cara coughed, it wasn't so surprising, but it did explain a lot.

He took her elbow and led her to a chair. "Sit, relax, please."

Cara tried to relax after, but the thought of his bedroom just feet away kept her on edge. He'd changed in the last ten years. The flush of youth was passed, and before her was a strong man. Hardened by war and betrayal, yet under was the man who enjoyed humor.

"Do you hate the Hero still, for what happened?" As soon as she said it she wished she could take it back, but she needed to know.

"Hate is a strong word, though, for a short time I did. Allowing Loghain to live, and making him a Grey Warden, was a slap in the face. It wasn't until recently that I realized how hard that decision was for her." He looked past her, remembering those events. His expression was pained, his body tense.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up old memories it's just…" Cara left the sentence unfinished. Let him assume what he would.

"You worry I see her when I look at you? No, after watching the way you move, listening to the way you deflect and redirect, turn their words against them…" He shook his head. "Lyna didn't know how to be diplomatic, she showed and said what she meant with every expression and word. There was no pretense."

"I can be direct if you prefer."

"I have noticed. What I prefer, is you be yourself." He shrugged out of his velvet coat and set his sword over the mantle. It had once been his father's. Cara could see and feel the runes on the blade from where she sat. He moved to a side table and poured two drinks. "I lost count of the number of drinks you had. Most women your size would have passed out by now. I'm impressed."

Cara thought about the glasses of champagne, was it four or five, and one shot of brandy. "It must be the excitement of the evening. However, it has been an hour since the last drink, just slightly tipsy now. It will be nice to have a drink without worrying what is around the corner."

"You haven't let your guard down already have you, my dear?" Zevran's voice preceded him through the door to the left.

"Lurking in shadows? Secret entrance, or were you there the whole time?" Cara asked.

He simply grinned at her. "The Palace is secure, relatively speaking."

"So if we don't draw the others out by morning I can expect a similar event to happen until we do?" Cara knew the longer it took to draw them out the more dangerous things would become.

"No, we will have to change tactics. I believe I know the servant in the kitchen, but there were so many who were nervous tonight, it's hard to be certain. Do you have any thoughts on others?" Zevran said.

"Not really. Leliana sent me here as bait, not because she expected me to know them on sight. The only person I know from Tevinter is Lord Pavus, and he is not a typical example."

"Yes, the charming, Lord Dorian. He is nearly as pretty as yourself." Zevran smiled to himself, lost in thought a moment then clapped his hands together. "The night is still young, and the two of you should take this to the other room. Or do you require some coaching? You haven't forgotten how have you?" Since his gaze was on Alistair, and the poor man's face turned red, Cara assumed it was the same ribbing he'd given him years ago. "No? Pity, it would have been a nice diversion." He took her hand and brushed his lips across her knuckles. "Should we have him hide in the shadows while we retire to the other room?"

Alistair took her hand from his, "You haven't changed a bit, have you, Zev. No finesse, a lady prefers a more mature, and subtle approach. She isn't a tavern wench."

Zevran winked at her, and Cara grinned under her hand. Another jab at Alistair, to spur him to action.

"We aren't actually doing that…." Alistair looked at her. "Are we?" His eyes grew wide. "It _is_ just for show, right?"

"In this profession, one must be willing to do whatever it takes, to complete the mission," Zevran said. "Be sure to make lots of noise. If I can't join you, at least, allow me to enjoy it with you."

* * *

Cara bit her knuckles numerous times to stifle the laughter from the obscene sounds they both made. It was nearly impossible to sound convincible. She felt like a child making fun of terrible sex scenes in movies. She half expected Zevran to enter the room and tell them exactly what they were doing wrong.

There were a number of kisses shared, and there were few places their hands hadn't explored, but it was still just pretend. Had anyone walked in; at least it would have looked convincible for a short time. Long enough for them to believe their guard was down. Eventually, they both grew tired and she rolled to her stomach and fell asleep.

 


	24. Crestwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finished with the Denerim mission Mia has asked Cara and her team to meet her in Crestwood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 5-23-16 Switched from First to Third Person POV, cleaned up sentences and grammar errors missed.

They left Denerim with the same lack of pomp as they arrived. The celebration had come to an end and with the Venatori routed from the castle, there was no need for them to stay longer. Dorian was not ready to leave Denerim and the luxuries being a guest of the King provided him. But they were not meant to stay much longer than a week and had stayed a few extra days.

"No one said you had to join us in Crestwood. You could have gone back to Skyhold with the scouts," Cara said.

"And travel with hounds! It's bad enough this country smells like wet dog. I refuse to travel with a pack of them!"

As a show of gratitude, Alistair and Anora had gifted the Inquisition with some breeding stock and a dozen war hound yearlings who hadn't imprinted on anyone yet.

"Don't let Remus hear you say that. He won't be as forgiving as the hounds."

Cara knew he wouldn't miss a chance to travel with Maxwell, the two were becoming inseparable. As happy as she was for them, she couldn't help the pang of jealousy. Not for either man, but what they had.

They had one brief meeting in the Fade. Solas revealed the identity of the kitchen worker who was planning to poison the King and his guests. Cara found it truly maddening, how easy it looked for him to keep his distance. There were moments she thought she was being courted, and others where she was certain she had imagined it all. And frankly, she was too old to play the love-struck girl chasing her crush.

"You alright, Violet?" Varric had been asking her this question any time he caught her brooding for the past two weeks.

"I'm fine," she told him. There was little he could do to help. If knowing Solas' secret wasn't enough to put him at ease about their relationship, then nothing Varric did would help.

"You shouldn't be brooding, you just helped rid the Castle of Venatori." Varric gave her a sly smile.

"Don't forget how sensational she looked while doing so," Dorian added.

"You would focus on that." Maxwell shook his head. "Varric's right, you have been quiet after such a success."

"I'm just looking forward to getting back to Skyhold. The whole affair was quite draining, to be honest." Cara wasn’t sure who started snickering as soon as she said 'affair'. The servants wasted no time spreading the rumor she was to become the King's mistress. "Oh, enough. Nothing happened." More snickering, this time from all three of them. "I thought I traveled with men, not boys?"

"Oh come now, Violet, no one here would fault you if you left the Inquisition. It's not like you have to stay," Varric said.

"Right, like you don't have your reasons for staying?" she asked him. "Mia saved my life, I won't abandon her when I can help her in any way."

"Technically, it was Solas who saved your life. Are you sure this crush isn't because you're a bit awestruck?" As much as Cara liked Varric, he could be very annoying.

"Well, thank you for treating me like a child." Solas had questioned what she felt, also. Cara nudged Rascal into a trot to end the conversation. If she wanted to brood over Solas, damn it, she should be able to. The horses could handle the quicker pace for a short time, but it would still be mid-afternoon the following day before they reached Crestwood.

Hawke had come to Skyhold, just before Mia left for the Fallow Mire, but he hadn't stayed long. He and Cara hadn't met, but there would be time for introductions in Crestwood. Varric had something planned, she was sure of it. Too often she found him looking at her with a knowing smile. When she asked he feigned innocence. There wasn't an innocent hair on the dwarf's chest, but she had no idea what he might be plotting.

 

* * *

 

The rain was the highlight of their arrival. Cara stood at the stone wall watching the swirling lights in the middle of the flooded lake. Voices of spirits echoed in her head, many were confused, angry, or lost. Others were excited to explore for a short time. Usually, spirits were whispers on the wind, or she had thought they were. As her power grew, their voices became louder, the emotions clearer at least. The words were lost to her still. One voice rang louder than the others. Command; she barked out orders at passing spirits and none answered. Here they felt free to ignore her.

The sound of horses drew Cara’s attention from the lake. The Inquisitor and her group had finally arrived. It took a great deal of willpower not to go to him, but she wouldn't push him. Instead, she returned her attention to the lake. The place was alive with magic, and the artifacts called to her just as the spirits did.

"Eh, elfy bits! You're here." Sera and Cara had a strange relationship. As much as she despised Solas for his opinion on the past, she looked up to Cara. A mother figure by accident but the first time Cara called her on her crap was the last time she gave her any serious lip. There was still plenty of good natured ribbing back and forth, but they avoided debates on elvhen culture. Cara taught her to throw knives, and they always enjoyed watching an enemy covered in a swarm of bees.

"We got here an hour ago."

"Don't you know better than to stand in the rain?" She nudged her shoulder and grinned when Cara nudged her back. Her hair was plastered to her head; the rain had tamed the bits which often stood up. "Holy Shite, what is that?"

Just then Mia and Harding stepped up and Mia saw the rift in the lake. "Oh." Mia chewed on her lower lip a moment. "Thanks for the report, let me know if you learn anything else."

Sera decided the rain was for losers and followed Harding back to the fire. There was a tarp up to keep the worst of the rain off those at the fire.

Once she was out of earshot Mia said, "Leliana sent word the Denerim mission was a success." Her face twisted into a big grin. "So just how was it? Kissing the King of Ferelden, I mean."

"He's a skilled kisser," Cara smiled back. "The nobles are discussing having the Queen set aside. She's had ten years to produce an heir and they want to see Therin blood stay on the throne."

"Leliana had mentioned something of the rumors." Mia frowned. "Josie has been talking about offers coming in already." She sighed, watching the lake and shook her head. "I thought I would be able to avoid a political match when I left home. I was going to serve the Chantry; the Conclave was to be the beginning of that life."

"You will have many offers, just wait until the Winter Place Ball. I imagine you will find someone suitable."

"If it were you, what would you do? Would you choose one from dozens of nobles and kings or the apostate?" She meant Cullen, of course.

Cara’s answer seemed unfair to her. How did she tell her? The man Mia thought a simple apostate was thought a god by Cara’s people. One who was both worshiped and feared, and possibly the most powerful being in Thedas, or would be in a few years. Or how he avoided her because of it. Cara couldn't, but she did know about duty, and titles and how confining the expectations of nobles were. As for Solas, Cara fell in love with the man the first time she played Dragon Age, even before she knew his secret. For her, it wasn't about his title, the powerful immortal mage, or his past life.

"You have always been Lady Amelia, that won't change. This, the Inquisition, it won't last forever, so make sure the partner you choose realizes you won't always hold a position of power. The title of Herald and Inquisitor are powerful now, but in time, they will be like any other Hero's title, or worse, a curse to bear."

She relaxed. "That is exactly what I needed to hear. How long after all this is over, do you think, they will throw me to the wolves, or call me out for the changes I set in motion? Underneath it all, I am the fifth child of a Bann. I provide no title or inheritance outside of my dowry." She gave Cara a hug. "I won't let Josie or Leliana pressure me into a match I don't want."

They stood in silence a moment before she spoke again, "it sure is pretty."

The rift in the lake was pretty, in an eerie sort of way. Though the demons and the undead were a problem. She looped her arm through Cara’s.

"We should head into Crestwood. I know we are to meet Hawke and the Warden, but this matter, with the undead, needs to be addressed first."

Cara agreed whole heartily, it wasn't just a matter of the living that were suffering. Spirits were tormented and corrupted as well, and only sealing the rift would end the madness.

 

* * *

 

Cara breathed a sigh of relief when they stepped out of the cave and into a small clearing. Even the rift they found was welcome after the wet and moldy tunnels filled with death and decay. With so many of them in the party, the battle was over quickly, and the rift sealed. Cara checked with everyone for injuries and then found a place to catch her breath, suddenly feeling very weak.

"Are you injured?" Concern was written on his face.

"I'm simply tired. There are so many spirits here, all speaking at once." Their voices still whispered in her mind. "Many have found peace and are returning to the Fade. This world frightens them." Cara gave a short laugh.

His wide eyes and slightly turned head was almost comical. "You can hear them?"

"You cannot?"

"Not in the same way you or Cole hear them, no."

"Oh, I was laughing at Command. She is directing those that will listen back to the Fade, most are willing to return without her 'guidance'. We should return to her as soon as possible and inform her of Rage's fate." Cara shifted her seat and hissed at a sharp pain through her side.

"You said you were unhurt." He knelt beside her, reaching for the sash tied at her waist. Instead of tan, it was deepening to a dark red.

"Odd, I didn't feel it until now." He worked quickly and had her coat and scarf removed, rolled them together to make a pillow. Too dizzy to protest she let him lay her down.

"Poison." He hissed, grabbed his pack and pulled pouches of herbs. "Fenedhis."

The wound was from one of the Terror demons, the poison prevents clotting and pain, so the victim doesn't realize they are injured. They bleed out not realizing the danger.

"I have fresh elfroot in my pack. The ward…" Her warning was unneeded, in a moment he had bypassed her ward and cut a piece of root, splaying it open to press against the wound. The root neutralized the poison and soon eased the sting from her side. She gasped when a feathered touch teased along her ribs. His lip curled in a slight smile. "I thought healers were to remain impartial?" His ear twitched at her comment.

"I am far from impartial where you are concerned."

"Are you?" His eyes snapped to hers and Cara saw the surprise in them. "This is the first you've spoken to me, other than to warn me in battle to watch my flank, since Denerim. I thought you were angry with me over the mission details." Cara held her breath a moment and closed her eyes. She would not tear up.

"It was not my intent to avoid you. The Fade in the Fallow Mire is as dangerous as it is here. So many spirits press against the weaknesses in the Veil. To enter the Fade would draw more." The way his eyes darkened sent her heart rate up. "As for keeping my distance since arriving. I find it exceedingly difficult to resist touching you."

Cara took his hand, threading her fingers between his, and for a moment, it was just them.

"Oy, get a room you two!" Sera's shout from across the clearing reminded them we weren't alone.

The tips of his ears darkened and he let go of her hand, but not before giving it a squeeze. Soon she felt the gentle caress of healing magic over her skin. His hands warm against her side, a slight smile tugged at his lips as he healed the wound. Cara wanted to pull him down for a kiss when his eyes locked with hers. After the wound was healed he helped her to her feet, holding her arms a moment before reaching for her coat.

The sash was ruined, the shirt probably was also and there was a cut in the leather coat. Cara had a spare coat at the Keep and an extra sash in her pack. He held the coat out while she slipped her arms through, resting his hands on her shoulders a moment. Someone coughed behind them, and he handed Cara her pack. She dug out the fresh sash and tied it around her waist stuffing the torn, stained one inside and reset her ward. The shirt would have to wait until they returned to the Keep.

"Ya know, Chuckles, no one here would complain if you kissed her. She's missed you just as much."

"I would! Ew, can't believe she likes him. You're daft is what you are," Sera said.

"Behave, Sera," Cara said. "Or I may kiss him just to gross you out. And it won't be just a kiss, it will be a real kiss." Solas chuckled beside her, his smile warm.

Sera made a face but didn't say another word.

"Well, before anyone has time for kissing, we need to go confront the mayor. I have a number of questions for him." Mia's voice was heavy with emotion. What they found in the caverns under the lake were deeply disturbing. "Then we need to find Hawke and the Warden."

The mayor had already skipped town, leaving behind a confession. Mia vowed he would face judgment.


	25. The Trouble with Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia and the group are still in Crestwood. After a short stop at the Keep they set out to meet with Hawke and his warden friend. They tangle with angry druffalo, Red Templars and vicious wyvern. Most of the events Cara expected, but she should know by now to expect the unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Tess for her patience and editing and helping make my thoughts more coherent.
> 
> Edit: 5-24-16 Switched from First person POV to Third person POV.

They returned to the Keep to restock before meeting with Hawke. Cara grabbed her spare coat and clean clothes, then slipped into one of the unoccupied rooms of the Keep to change. When she stepped out, Solas was standing guard.  
  
“Was there a line of peeping Tom’s I needed protection from?” The room was in a quiet area of the Keep, well away from prying eyes. It was endearing and comical how he would get overprotective of her after an injury.  
  
“I wanted to make sure your strength had returned.” The heat in his eyes said otherwise. Reaching for his hand she laced her fingers with his. He curled his arm up and pressed their hands to his chest, then his lips brushed over her knuckles. “Two weeks is but a blink of an eye, but it seemed an eternity.”  
  
Immortal elves were the poster children for patients. It was a world where a play lasted weeks, and a single date up to a month.  
  
“I’ve missed you, too.” Her words seemed woefully inadequate compared to his. “We shouldn’t linger; Mia might send someone looking for us.”  
  
“The Inquisitor asked us to meet at the main entrance at the top of the hour, if we choose to join her. We have a moment to ourselves.”  
  
She looked over her shoulder at the room she had just left. There wasn’t enough time for such things, or was there? A flush of heat spread from her chest to her ears at his chuckle.  
  
“Tempting, but I don’t intend to rush this.”  
  
His kiss showed how tempting the idea was. His lips claimed hers possessively, promising and demanding. His hand on her ass pressed her against him, stirring her desire. She would go up in flames if he continued, but would die if he stopped.  
  
“Eeeeewwww.” Sera made a gagging noise.  
  
“Go away, Sera, before I give you something to watch.” Cara was not going to be embarrassed by her childishness. Had she not come looking, they would have had privacy.  
  
She dashed off, her voice rang out as she made her way back toward the group.  
  
Solas pulled her close again, this time to kiss her temple and press his nose into her hair. Cara slipped her arms around him and held him close, listening to the staccato rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear. Since his confession earlier, he’d found every excuse for them to touch, even an innocent brush against her as they walked.           
  
“I suppose we must go meet Mia. I need to restock my potions first.” It was tempting to let her meet Hawke and Loghain without them. “I’m interested in meeting Loghain. I’ve read a great deal about him.”  
  
 

* * *

  
  
The area around Crestwood wasn’t as vast as others, so they left the horses at the Keep. Sera stayed behind, as did Dorian and Maxwell. This made a party of two rogues, two mages, and two warriors. Far more than was needed to make their way to the Cave.  
  
“Leliana sent word of your success in Denerim. Does this mean you will take on more missions for her in the future?” Cassandra asked Cara.  
  
“The success of the mission was more the work of Zevran and Alistair. They handled the fighting, I was simply the bait.” Solas’ hand tensed around hers. He’d not been pleased with the role she’d had to play.  
  
“She will expect you to be available for future missions. Leliana has a knack for finding the right people for the right job,” Mia said.  
  
“While I won’t exclude all future missions, I will only take those I’m confident I can handle. Knowing who was on my team was the only reason I accepted.”  
  
“I met Zevran once, with Hawke,” Varric began. “He’s quite interesting. So when is he coming to Skyhold?”  
  
“Did he mention he would?” Cara didn’t remember anything specific. Though Zevran was now one of her own agents.  
  
“The two of you made quite the pair of assassins. I imagine there will be future missions together.”  
  
If Varric was trying to get a rise out of Solas it wasn’t working. He was confident no other could take his place. There was only one elf in Thedas who might turn her head, but the chance of running into him was slim to none.  
  
They did run into a few of the highwaymen who had abandoned the Keep, and found Charter’s missing scout. In all the excitement she’d forgotten how easily it was to set off the druffalo, and they ended up angering two of them. Those damn things are harder to bring down than a great bear! Iron Bull was charged more times than she could count. How he had only a broken wrist and a few cuts she will never understand? Most of them had a few bruises, and limped into the last camp.  
  
With Bull now grounded, Solas had stayed behind to heal his wrist.  
  
“Hawke and his warden friend should be just up ahead,” Varric said.  
  
“Hawke, you didn’t stick around long enough to meet Cara.” Varric introduced him.  
  
Cara had expected Garrett Hawke, but it was the man who stepped out of the shadow who caused her to freeze.  
  
She would not fan girl. She would not. But damn. it was hard to not stand there mouth agape as he sauntered forward.  
  
“Cara, Fenris.”  
  
“A mage? Varric said you used daggers and a bow.”  
  
“Varric?” He’d written to Fenris about her?  
  
“What? I may have left out a minor detail. You don’t fight with just magic often. Besides, you’re the nicest person I know, I tend to forget you like to fry your enemies with lightning.”  
  
“I thought I was the nicest mage you knew?” Hawke said.  
  
“No, you’re just the craziest mage I know,” Varric replied.  
  
A minor detail? To Fenris, magic was no minor detail. Varric wasn’t going to fess up as to why Fenris was here. Cara shouldn’t have been surprised, she’d known the dwarf was up to something.  
  
While Hawke and Mia talked, Cara found herself under the intense gaze of a broody elf. She wanted to ask what else Varric had said about her, and why Fenris was even there. He was the last person she should have met in all of Thedas.  
  
Cassandra began arguing with Varric again, about hiding Hawke from her. They had wanted his help. The Divine had hoped his influence at the Conclave would have eased the negotiations, but Hawke had supported the Mage Rebellion.  
  
“Enough, you two,” Cara said. Both stopped short. Mia and Hawke had gone to the back of the cave. “You’ve already had this argument. He protected his friend. He’s apologized to Mia, it’s time to put it behind you both.”  
  
Cassandra sighed and raked a hand through her hair. “You’re right, of course. But I didn’t explain why Hawke was needed.”  
  
“Interrogating me wasn’t the best way to get on my good side,” Varric said.  
  
“Varric, aside from stabbing a knife through a book, Cassandra caused you no harm. Cassandra, would Hawke have been a better leader than Mia?”  
  
“Perhaps not, and perhaps he would have died in the explosion as well. I’m sorry Varric, the loss at Haven is still difficult coming so soon after the Divine’s death.”  
  
“Haven was difficult for us all.” Cara had moved between the two.  
  
“You were the reason we got out of there with so few casualties. Forgive me for thinking you were a Venatori spy. You have proven where your loyalty is, and the Inquisition is lucky to have you serve.”  
  
“I stay because it is the right thing to do. It is the same reason Varric stays. Corypheus must be stopped.”  
  
“Corypheus? He’s dead, I struck the killing blow myself. How is this possible?” Fenris had been content to just listen until Corypheus was mentioned.  
  
“Corypheus has figured out how to cheat death. We don’t know how, it’s why Mia and Hawke are meeting with Loghain,” Varric said  
  
“Fenedhis.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Cassandra and Varric moved off to discuss their truce again. Though she knew they would still find something to spat about. Cara smirked thinking about the sexual tension between them.  
  
“The Seeker rattles the dwarf like no one before.” Fenris seemed to sense the same thing.  
  
“He has the same effect on her, though she will never admit it.” Cara grew nervous under his scrutiny. She’d never enjoyed being the center of attention, and to be singled out by him for study triggered her social anxiety. Footsteps in the cave alerted them Mia had returned, and with her Hawke and Loghain.  
  
Loghain stopped short when he saw Cara. His expression went from wide-eyed to furrowed brow. “You…”  
  
“Loghain, this is Cara,” Mia offered.  
  
“That explains why I don’t sense the taint in you. For a moment I thought she had done it.”  
  
“It’s a reaction I get a lot, especially around the Hero’s old friends. It’s good to meet you, Loghain.”  
  
“Loghain and I will head toward the Western Approach.” Hawke turned to Fenris. “We are going fast and quiet, avoiding Venatori camps to find the wardens.”  
  
Fenris snorted. “They should be wiped off the face of Thedas, not left to do more harm.”  
  
“This is a stealth mission, if you wish to fight, stay with the Inquisition, we’ll meet up again later.”  
  
Cara expected Fenris to leave with Hawke, him staying longer wasn’t something she was prepared to deal with.  
  
Especially when his eyes rested on her. “I will stay, for now.”  
  
“Welcome aboard, Fenris.” Mia drew everyone’s attention. “Before we return to Crestwood I need to check on someone named Judith, her farm should be nearby.”  
  
 

* * *

  
  
“A wyvern is causing trouble?” Mia asked.  
  
Cara knew what the rest of the day would include. There were still a few hours until nightfall, they had time. But she wasn’t looking forward to fighting Red Templars.  
  
“I think it’s in the same place Charter mentioned the Red Templar sightings.” Luckily she had received the report earlier, and Cara didn’t have to give away how she knew something before anyone else again. Explaining Haven was difficult enough, but at least she had Redcliffe to use as an excuse.  
  
Mia asked Judith to get a message to Solas and Iron Bull since both would worry if they didn’t return soon. She was more than happy too in exchange for them taking care of her pest problem.  
  
Cara stopped at the astrarium. “You want to try this one?” she asked.  
  
Mia shook her head. “No way, I’m no good at these. You get the ones here figured out, there are two in the Storm Coast to solve.  
  
Cara stepped up and quickly went through the pattern, triggering the light leading to the last one. It was near the wyvern den, and Red Templars.  
  
Fenris stared at the contraption. “What does it do?”  
  
“When all three puzzles are complete, a secret vault is opened. Within is usually a weapons cache or something of great value.”  
  
“It’s like a treasure hunt without having to enter the Deep Roads,” Varric said.  
  
They left the farm and headed toward the ravine. Solas and Iron Bull caught up with them.  
  
“That was quick, I didn’t realize Judith had left yet,” Cara said.  
  
“Solas saw the light trail from the astrarium, we figured you’d head this way rather than return to camp, so here we are.”  
  
“You can’t fight with that wrist, Bull. You and Solas can return to the Keep,” Mia replied.  
  
Cara bit her lip at the look both men gave Mia.  
  
“I’ll return to the Keep, but if you think Solas is going to let Cara fight without him, you’re losing it, Boss.”  
  
Fenris stiffened near the Qunari.  
  
“Bull, this is Fenris. He’s a friend of Varric and is joining the Inquisition,” Mia offered.  
  
“Iron Bull is the leader of a mercenary band called the Bull's Chargers,” Varric said.  
  
Fenris said, “that isn’t very reassuring.”  
  
“Tevinter right? We have a common enemy in the Venatori, let’s focus on that.”  
  
“Fair enough.” Fenris didn’t look relieved, but he had accepted the Qunari as one of his fighting companions for now.  
  
Solas watched the elf with rapt curiosity. Cara imagined the markings on his skin raised a number of questions.  
  
Before they moved on, wolves entered the ravine behind them and attacked. Fenris leapt into action, his markings glowing as he flew through the air, flanking the pack and cutting them down. Cara whirled and struck out with her daggers, thankful Remus wasn’t there. The undead weren’t the only creatures affected by the rifts in the area.  
  
Fenris curled his lips into a smirk when their eyes met. Cara wiped her daggers on a downed wolf and slipped them back into their sheaths.  
  
“The dwarf didn’t exaggerate your skill. I’m surprised.”  
  
“Violet is full of surprises,” Varric said.  
  
“Bull, you okay?” Cara asked. He was holding his wrist. “You look a little grayer than usual.”  
  
Sweat beaded on his brow. Solas took his hand and sent healing magic over it. “This needs to be reset. I will return to the Keep with The Iron Bull.”  
  
“I’ll be fine, Solas. I’ll remember my barriers and everything.”  
  
“You think it funny now,” he said.  
  
“Shush. I’ll be fine. Besides, if it gets too dangerous, I’ll hide behind the scary elf.”  
  
Fenris snorted and everyone else laughed. Except for Solas. He pulled her close and kissed her. “Stay safe, vhenan.”  
  
Their group turned up the hill, while Solas and Bull returned to the Keep. Red lyrium grew from the landscape as they went up the hill. The Red Templars had camped in the midst of the elven ruins.  
  
“What does Corypheus want with elven artifacts?” Mia asked as they searched the dead looking for information.  
  
“He’s a Tevinter Magister. All magic and knowledge they have, they stole from the elves,” Cara said. “You’ve stolen the Mark, taken the mages and sealed the Breach. Not to mention his defeat in Haven. He needs something to give him an edge over you and the Inquisition.”  
  
“The mage is correct. Elven artifacts are worth a great deal in Tevinter. Most lead to more and more powerful magic,” Fenris said.  
  
The notes found confirmed they sought something.  
  
“The wyvern den is through that cave. Is everyone ready?” Mia readied her daggers and moved forward.  
  
Cassandra followed behind her, then Varric. Cara moved to follow Varric, but Fenris gripped her arm.  
  
“Stay behind me. Wyvern are far more dangerous than a small pack of wolves.”  
  
“I’m flattered you trust me to watch your back,” Cara teased.  
  
His lips twitched as he fought a grin.  
  
With two warriors and two rogues, Cara stayed back and cast barriers. Even still they were nearly overrun by the smaller wyvern.  
  
“How about a storm, Violet?”  
  
“You got it, Varric. Just stay out of the water everyone.”  
  
She raised her hand and called the electrical storm. A smaller one than when they fought the bears. She had learned to control it, build it only where she wanted it, and it wouldn’t tax her mana here where the Veil was thin. The younger wyverns retreated into the water where Varric shot them with arrows. They still spit poison and between an unblocked swipe of a claw and poison spat into the wound, Fenris was the first one down. Cara ran to stand over him and cast a barrier over them both, one hand still in the air calling lightning, forcing the wyvern to retreat.  
  
She held a hand out to him and he pulled himself to his feet. “Stay behind me, Fenris,” she smirked at him. “Wyvern are more dangerous than a small pack of wolves.”  
  
Cassandra and Mia danced around the largest wyvern, while Varric and Cara picked off the younger ones. Then they focused the fight on the leader, finally bringing her down.  
  
Cara turned to Fenris. “Alright, elf, off with your chest plate. Let me see how bad it is.”  
  
“It’s just a scratch, the poison is wearing off.”  
  
“No. It’s just making everything numb and makes you think you aren’t as injured as you thought. The poison will prevent your blood from clotting and you will bleed out.” Cara asked the others, “is anyone else injured?”  
  
Cassandra stepped forward. “I am, but I believe his injury is the greater need.”  
  
While Fenris removed his breastplate, Cara looked at Cassandra’s forearm. She handed her a piece of spliced elfroot. “Place this over the cut, then wash it. It will neutralize any poison in 5 minutes. Then drink this.” She handed her the potion and turned back to Fenris and her breath caught in her throat. His pecs and abs were well defined from years of fighting, all of his muscles accented by the lyrium marks. He was a fine looking man.  
  
She dug in her herb pack for more elfroot, but only found seeds.  
  
“Fenedhis!” She dropped the seeds on the ground and held her hand out over them.  


* * *

  
  
“It’s rather deep. I can stitch it, but it will take ten days to two weeks to fully heal, or I can heal it with magic.”  
  
Fenris arched an eyebrow. “You would give me a choice?”  
  
“I give everyone a choice, unless their life depends on healing magic or they can’t respond.”  
  
“She’s better than Anders, she’s been learning everything she can from the healers,” Varric told him.  
  
“How is it you still have mana left? Any other mage would need lyrium now, or resort to blood magic.” Fenris was clearly surprised. Cara knew he was well acquainted with mages and their limits.  
  
“The veil is thin here. It is an ancient elven site, once it was a place of celebration and life. Spirits are drawn to such places, and it’s far easier to tap into the Fade. I can cast spells for hours before tiring.” She hoped he bought her lie, but the skeptical look he gave her, made her think he didn't quite believe. Since meeting Mythal in the Fade her mana pool had grown, spells had more power and were cast easily. "So which is it, stitches or magic?"  
  
"Stitches, since it's not fatal," he said.  
  
"Alright, but you are out of commission for ten days, one week at least before they come out. If you tear them by fighting or exercise, I will resort to magic if I have to heal it a second time." Iron Bull preferred stitches, so Cara kept plenty of needles and thread to bind any wounds. "Second question, visible scar or minimal scarring?" Bull also liked his scars to look worse than the wound so he could brag.  
  
"I don't require scars to prove my skill."  
  
She nodded. "This will go faster if you lie down."  
  
"I prefer to sit."  
  
Cara sighed and pointed to a fallen log. She could kneel beside it and stitch his side without cramping her back too much. Thanks to Cole she had a surplus of spider webs, soft wisps used to prevent infection, and threads which could be used to stitch deep wounds. These came in handy when a wound required multiple layers of stitches and would dissolve away in a week.  
  
Fenris bent to watch her, his warm breath fluttered against her ear and cheek. He was too stiff, he'd stretched his arm up over his head pulling the skin taut, too tight to stitch properly. Their noses nearly touched when she looked up at him.  
  
Fighting the flush of heat up her neck at the intense look in his eyes, she said, "please, relax your shoulder a bit. If you can't hold it without support, place your arm on mine."  
  
He lowered his arm, dropping the shoulder, but didn’t touch her. Pinching the wound together she began to stitch the innermost part of the cut. The elfroot and poison had made the area numb - she doubted he felt anything until he flinched when her knuckles brushed along a rib.  
  
"Sorry, has the elfroot worn off? I can apply more."  
  
He cleared his throat, but his voice was still low when he spoke. "It is nothing."  
  
Cara returned to the stitches, closing the outer skin. After tying off the end of the last stitch she called a flare of fire to burn the end. Then pulled gauze from her pack. His arm rested gently on her shoulder while she wrapped the strip of linen around his torso, holding the bandage in place. He flinched each time her fingers brushed along his ribs.  
  
"Don't tell me the mighty Fenris is ticklish?"  
  
The tips of his ears turned dark, as did his cheeks. "Hardly. A warrior can't afford such a weakness."  
  
"It's not a weakness, it's a part of being normal. I have ticklish feet." Cara tucked the end of the strip into the layers. "All done. The bandage should be changed daily, or immediately if it begins to bleed again." She moved to stand, and forgot her hair had come loose, stepping on it, she lost her balance and tumbled toward him. His reflexes were as fast as her own. His hands were on her waist, hers were on his shoulders, stopped inches from falling against him. Cara pushed up, and pulled her hair out of the way. "Sorry. Maybe I should finally cut my hair."  
  
"You would regret cutting it if you did." His hands lingered on her waist.  
  
"You're right. I hadn't anticipated fighting when we left camp or I would have braided it." She stepped back out of his grip.  
  
He moved to the water's edge and washed some of the blood from his armor, and hands. He'd carried his armor with him, and she tried to focus on gathering her herbs and gear, rather than the muscles in his back and arms. Cara quickly twisted her hair back up and shouldered her pack and bow. Having him around would complicate matters. She wasn't the type to give into to physical temptation, and thankfully Fenris wasn't the casual sex type either.  
  
Before they left the grotto, she handed him a healing potion. "This will speed up the healing. Just because it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean it's fully healed."  
  
"You have my thanks."  
  
"Not pulling the stitches out will be thanks enough. It's a lot harder to stitch a jagged wound than a smooth cut." The less time she had to spend looking at his magnificent chest the better. She bit her lip to stifle a laugh as they met up with the others outside the cave. There is waiting and enjoying the anticipation, a slow burn heightens the senses and can lead to some amazing sex. Or it can leave a person ready to jump anyone they find attractive. If something didn't change between Solas and her soon, Cara feared the latter was inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me. I'd love to hear your thoughts so far.


	26. A Really Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return trip to Skyhold was a little more eventful than Cara had expected. Taking a moment to clear her head isn't at all helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to Tess for her editing and patients. This chapter had a number of changes before we were both happy with it.
> 
> Edit: 5-24-16 Switched from First Person POV to Third Person POV.

Cara was saddling Rascal when Mia approached for a favor. She agreed without hesitation. The sly smile told her she should have heard her out before accepting so easily. With the current trouble in Crestwood, there was a shortage of horses. Even in town, they were either plow horses, or rough broke, none anyone could handle.

Fenris lacked experience with horses. Since Cara was the lightest person and the most experienced rider, Mia had decided Fenris would ride double with her.

“Why can’t he go on foot until we get to Lake Calenhad? Iron Bull did until we reached Dennett’s farm. That is how he and Hawke got here.”

"If he wasn't injured, he could," she replied.

Cara groaned. "Fine. But if anyone cracks jokes I'll throw lightning at them."

"I will make sure everyone is sufficiently warned," Mia grinned. "It won't stop them, you know."

Fenris looked pale and Cara wasn't sure if he was uneasy about the horse or if it was the wound.

"Horses can sense your fear, they react to your emotions. Try to keep calm." Cara held Rascal's bridle in both hands, holding his head steady and turned enough to see Fenris beside him. "He likes his neck rubbed right under his mane."

Fenris shifted his weight, then reached out a hand. "Is this necessary?"

"It is, if you want to stay on."

Fenris' eyes widened a bit. "Are you certain this is wise?"

Cara sighed. "Unless we wait a week for you to heal and walk, this is the best we can do. Maybe when we reach Redcliffe, we can get a mount for you at Dennett’s."

Rascal danced around Fenris, ears back, and Cara patted his neck.

"You've faced darkspawn, blood mages, giant spiders, Red Templars and a dragon. A horse can't be more frightening than any of those things."

Fenris smirked at the horse. "No, but I can kill any of those things. I doubt you would be pleased if I used the same defense with your mount."

Cara couldn't help the smile. She would never tire of his wit.

"Rascal has two weaknesses. A good scratch under his mane and apples. The greedy boy will eat apples until he makes himself sick." Cara handed Fenris a sack half full of apples. "Go ahead -- give him one, and then scratch his neck again."

One crunchy apple later Fenris’s tension eased, and Rascal’s ears perked up.

Mia led everyone out of the Keep. They mounted up outside, with Rascal taking the rear. Cara quickly slipped into the saddle and held a hand out for Fenris. Rascal watched with eyes and ears alert, but he held still. Cara rubbed his favorite spot and cooed, and Fenris swung up gracefully. He adjusted himself behind the saddle.

"Sorry, elf, that won't work. You have no choice but to share a saddle."

"That is definitely not a wise idea."

"Well, it's the only way this works. I realize you're loath to touch a mage, but you will have to deal with it."

Mia turned to check on the delay. "Everything alright back here?"

"Just getting the details worked out," Cara said.

Fenris slid into the saddle behind her. She refused to think about his thighs pressed against her. His hand brushed against her thigh before he jerked back, then tried to find a place for it once again. She turned to look at him. He tried to put his weight on his arms, holding himself away from her.

"You'll never make it to camp if you don't relax."

"There is nowhere to put my hands. How are you not uncomfortable?"

"I'm not sitting on the edge of the saddle afraid to touch someone. We’re only sharing a horse, Fenris. I promise I won’t bite..." Cara might regret this later, but he needed to relax. "Well, not hard anyway."

He chuckled then coughed.

"You can rest your hands on my waist. It's acceptable when sharing a horse."

After a moment’s hesitation, Fenris leaned forward and pressed against her back. His breath fluttered across her ear, voice husky. "Is this acceptable?"

Words caught in her throat. "It's fine."

She lied. It wasn't fine. Cara was pressed between him and the saddle horn, the motion of the mount rocking his hips forward. The warmth of his body pressed against hers and his hands on her hips caused her stomach to flip.

"Are you more comfortable?" he hummed.

"The two of you are awfully quiet back there," Dorian called back.

"Not everyone needs to hear the sound of their own voice all the time, Dorian," Cara retorted.

“I see you’ve finally relaxed, Fenris. Cara is a skilled horsewoman,” Dorian said. “But then she is a woman of many talents.” His slight grin told her he was setting her up rather than paying a compliment.

"You know, they say riding a horse is a lot like sex," Iron Bull said, "it's all about matching rhythms."

Sera cackled.

"Really, Sera, it wasn't that funny."  

Funny would be her laughing her ass off her horse.

Unabashed, Sera measured the lyrium running through Fenris’s skin. "Those markings make you move through things, yeah?"

"What of it?" Fenris' tone was sharp, his markings slightly glowed and Cara could feel the energy of them along her skin.

"You guys could be doing it right now and no one would know."

Solas let out a tired sigh and Cassandra made a disgusted noise.

"Sera!" Mia tried to stop the giggle, which made her admonishment ineffective.

"You can ride with me Fenris, if you tire of the view," Dorian offered.

"The two of you can discuss the first thing that pops up," Iron Bull added with a hearty laugh.

"I swear, the next person gets a bolt of lightning shot at their ass," Cara warned.

Varric chuckled. "Alright, kids, that's enough, don't provoke the scary elf."

"Cara isn't scary," Sera said. “Well, she is, but she knows it’s just fun.”

"I didn't mean Cara," Varric answered.

Solas looked back at her and Cara shook her head, then let out the breath she held. "Sorry. I knew when Mia suggested this, something like this might happen."

Fenris chuckled. "You have no control over their behavior, and have nothing to apologize for. I’ve heard much worse from Hawke and our friends."

"Still, it's not just you they tease. They are using you as a way to tease Solas."

"Then you and Solas are together?"

"We are...it's complicated."

"You hesitated. The two of you did not share a tent last night."

"I didn't hesitate. It's not easy to explain. Why didn’t you leave with Hawke?"

"I would like to help the Inquisition. Varric has written often since he came to Haven. I've learned a great deal about the Herald. He mentioned you often, too. I wonder how much is true?"

"Knowing Varric, it’s mostly exaggerations. He did forget to mention I was a mage."

Fenris snorted. "You are no mere mage. I'm not sure what you are. I doubt even Danarius could have matched your power. Yet, you are not a blood mage."

"What you saw was a product of the thin Veil in the grotto, nothing more. Ask any of them,” Cara nodded ahead, “I have fallen weak after many battles from expending too much mana. I am an ordinary mage."

His hands gripped her hips. "You cast spells effortlessly, without the use of a staff. Even the most powerful Magister in Tevinter uses a staff to focus and strengthen their spells. Pretend if you like, I will figure you out eventually."

"So what did Varric write about me?"

"He said you have skill, but lack experience in battle. I wonder, do your hands still shake when you take a man's life? Or have you hardened yourself?"

"Taking a life will never be easy for me."

"I once thought that was a weakness, to mourn the loss of life."

"Once?"

"As a slave, I was ordered to kill without question. But this is about you, not me. Varric wrote of your selflessness, kindness, and determination. It takes courage to face a man in battle knowing you must kill or be killed."

"You sound as if you’re impressed, but I'm a liability on the field when fighting the living. They have families, loved ones. I take no comfort in their deaths other than to know they won't harm anyone else."

"Then the dwarf didn't exaggerate your character. Nor your beauty."

"Looks fade over time. A person should be judged by their actions, not their looks."

A low grumble of laughter resonated in his chest. "Humble too, all are qualities I admire."

“I’m flattered, but I think you have the wrong impression.”

“And what about the flattery and suggestive comments? The blushes as you look away?” 

"I apologize for flirting, I meant to ease the tension between us, nothing more." Cara turned to look back -- and the smug look on his face made her heart skip a beat.

"Your racing heart says you haven't made up your mind yet."

"You're imagining things." She turned forward.

His lips were warm against her ear as he whispered, "these markings heighten more than just my strength. I can hear your pulse race through your veins." He pressed himself against her ass, his arousal apparent. Cara bit her lower lip to hold the moan. His tongue, warm and wet, traced along the vein on her neck. "You can't hide your desire from me. I can smell it, taste it in your sweat."

"Don't," she whispered in return.

"The mage is a fool for waiting so long. I wonder who will gain the prize." His hand trailed over her thigh and between her legs. "Sera is right, clothes are no obstacle for me."

Cara expected awkward and uncomfortable Fenris, not a man bent on seduction. Or was this what he was like if Hawke didn't pursue him? Had his time with Isabela made him bolder?

“You don’t play fair, do you?”

"No."

"I love Solas."

"Do you, or is it a lack of choices?"

“What will it take to convince you, I’m not interested?”

“I will believe it when it is the truth.”

"Keep up you two," Varric called back.

 

* * *

 

They stopped in the Hinterlands. The camp was crowded with so many in the party. The area was clear of rifts and bandits for now, so Cara grabbed a bow and slipped out of the camp while the others put up extra tents.

She only wanted a few moments of quiet, a chance to forget how it felt being near Fenris, and to compose herself before facing Solas. Fenris was right -- she was interested, but she expected the interest to be one sided.

Cara cloaked herself and slipped quietly through the trees. She expected to return to the camp before anyone noticed her absence. It felt good to hunt again. With the abundance of rams, she didn’t need to go far before bringing one down.

“It is foolish to be out here alone.” Fenris’ deep voice startled her.

“If I wanted company, I would have asked.” Her heart rate sped up. “And you would be the last person I asked.”

Amusement seeped through his voice. “Afraid to be alone with me?”

“No, I only wanted to be alone. As for earlier, if things were different I would be flattered. Please, let the matter--”

The growl behind them turned her blood to ice. Quickly, she cast a barrier around them and pointed to a large boulder, away from the aggravated beast.

"There, it will give us the high ground." Cara put an ice wall between them and the ram, giving them a chance to get away. With luck, the bear would be content with the ram.

Fenris’ markings glowed as he took her hand, and in seconds, the were at the base of the rock.

The bear was massive, and the sharp scar over one eye meant it had fought humans before - and remembered. With a roar, the beast crashed through the ice wall just as Cara reached the top of the boulder. It snapped its jaws and tossed its head to find their scent.

Cara let out a dark chuckle. "Shit! Not my lucky day after all."

His sword drawn, Fenris assessed their position. "We have an advantage, but this fight will not be easy."

Cara fired arrows only after the bear charged. She hoped some of them would slow the bear, even though she knew they would most likely cause more anger.

She shot a look behind her. "Did you tell anyone you were coming after me?"

"No. I followed as soon as you left the camp. I was right behind you until you disappeared.” Fenris’s eyes could cut glass. “I told you this was foolish."

"Save your anger for the bear." Cara cast a fireball at the encroaching animal. The smell of burning fur and flesh filled the air. It roared and screamed as it moved away, pawing at its face.

"What other spells do you command? You can grow plants; can you control the roots of the trees?"

"I don't know. I can try it if you can shoot a bow."

"Unfortunately, I left that to the dwarf." He growled in frustration. "Can you cast your storm here? Or will it drain you?"

"I can’t fire arrows, keep a barrier up and bring a storm at the same time, no."

Cara cast another fireball, but the already burnt flesh was less sensitive to the flames. The bear circled, looking for a way up. It found the sloped end of the boulder and began to climb.

Fenris leapt at it and swung his sword. A massive paw struck out as Fenris landed, and hit across his side. The barrier held, but the warrior lost his balance. Cara sent a mind blast out to push the bear off the boulder and fade stepped to Fenris. He gathered himself up, pressing a hand against his side. She cast another ice wall to buy them some time.

"Damn it, this isn't working. The arrows only anger him." Did she risk confirming Fenris’ suspicions? If something didn't give them an advantage soon, she would have to.

A familiar roar on the other side of the clearing rang out. Iron Bull. "Cara, catch!"

She watched as the hilt of a sword flew end over end. The arch was too high, it would sail over their heads.

"Give me a boost?”

Fenris nodded and she stepped back. “This had better work.”

Cara took three running steps and pushed off of his clasped hands. The hilt hit her hand and she closed her fingers around it, landing in a crouch behind Fenris, facing the ice wall.

"How is that helpful? It's broken."

"It's a spirit blade."

A grin broke over his face as she called the magic, funneling it into the enchanted hilt, and a golden blade appeared. “Now we fight. And Fenris, try not to tear your stitches.”

The bear crashed through the ice wall and Cara leapt ahead. The first blow knocked it backward. Each sword strike strengthened the barrier around them. Bull joined and flanked the beast with broad swings. With the three of them attacking, the bear couldn't focus on a single target. Its claws glanced off the barrier, leaving them uninjured.

"Now!" Bull yelled. With the enhanced cloak and Fade step, Cara stepped into the bear’s position and froze it. The bear shattered when she left the Fade.

A wave of relief washed over her. They survived! She hadn't froze, she hadn't panicked. Cara grabbed Fenris in a hug and kissed him on his cheek. Startled by her own actions she pushed away quickly. "Sorry, that wasn't..."

But he grabbed her waist and pulled her against him, his hand fisted in her hair and his mouth crashed over hers, demanding, possessive; everything she knew his kiss would be. Only Iron Bull's laughter brought her to her senses.

"So where's my kiss?" Bull asked.

Still shaken, she kissed his scarred cheek and punched his shoulder. "Took you long enough."

He laughed and hugged her. "I heard the bear roar. Figured you might need a hand." His hands on her shoulders, he held her at arm’s length and looked her over. "You didn't panic this time, did you?”

She shook her head.

“That’s my girl!" Then he turned to Fenris. "You don't look so hot, elf."

Cara groaned. "Shit, the stitches."

"Unavoidable," Fenris said.

“We should get back to camp,” Iron Bull suggested.

Fenris wrapped an arm around her shoulders and leaned against her. Cara wrapped an arm around his waist and followed Bull. The ram hung over his broad shoulder, untouched by the bear.

In the camp, Bull explained to the others what happened, exaggerating bits and pieces of the story. Cara smiled -- his tale would diffuse their irritation of her slipping out alone.

"Where did you learn such a jump?" Fenris asked.

"I forget where. Not all of my memories have returned." As soon as the half-truth left her lips she regretted it. She knew more about her past than he would ever learn of his own.

She found the buckles on his armor while he removed his bracers. The bandage was bloodied, but not as bad as she feared. When the last piece came free, she gently washed the wound. Only a few stitches had pulled.

"Not as injured as you pretended."

"Your barrier was very effective. How else was I to get you alone?"

"Oh, no. We are not doing this. It was an ‘I'm glad you're not dead’, or ‘I'm glad I'm not dead’ kiss. Nothing more. It won’t happen again."

Fenris let out a quiet laugh. "Liar. I owe you my thanks once more."

"It was Iron Bull who saved us."

"You bought us time." With those words, Fenris leaned closer.

Cara could have pushed him away. Any pressure on the wound would distract him. Instead, she let him kiss her again. Hunting alone was foolish, but this was playing with fire.

"Violet, is Fenris alright?" Varric pushed through the tent flap. He coughed, hiding a chuckle. "Solas is headed this way, now that Bull is done distracting him with the details."

A frustrated sigh escaped her. "He’s well enough. Not a word, dwarf."

"My lips are sealed. Though, I may use it in my next book, at least once I see how the story ends." 

Solas came through the tent opening. "I came to offer assistance if needed."

"It's just a few pulled stitches. I'll have them mended in no time."

"Are you injured?" he asked.

"No, we made it to a boulder before it charged. I was running out of ideas when Bull showed up. I'll tell you the whole story when I'm finished." Cara peeked over her shoulder at him. "I'm alright, I promise."

 

* * *

 

Solas sat by the campfire, his back to the tent.

"Take a walk with me?" Cara asked.

They walked up the hill near Senna's shrine. Solas frowned. "You were fortunate the elf and Iron Bull noticed you missing."

"I know, but I needed to be alone with my thoughts."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know Fenris in DA2 is hesitant and not the one to initiate a relationship, but it's been 10 years since he arrived in Kirkwall and people grow and change in that length of time. Since Hawke romanced Anders, Fenris and Isabela hooked up, but I saw it as a casual thing. With the weight of Danarius off his shoulders I imagine he's been thinking more about the future. So when Varric starts writing letters about the Inquisition and a mysterious elf that fell out of a rift, he's more than a little intrigued.
> 
>  


	27. Friends and Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Until Fenris arrived, Cara was certain she knew how she felt about a certain blue eyed elf. Fenris has always been one of her favorite characters from Dragon Age 2, but she never expected to meet him. Is what she and Solas have strong enough to push aside her attraction to a broody elf from Kirkwall?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to all my readers, I'm making some changes to the rest of the story. I thought I knew how this would go, then Fernis derailed it, and I let him. Now I want to return to my original plan. I'm going back to Solas and Cara. Fenris will still be in the story and I hope you will bear with me on how this all plays out. I knew I should have had a completed draft before posting, but I was anxious to share it with friends. I just hadn't expected so many readers then. You guys have kept me writing and I've enjoyed taking this journey with you all. I hope you'll stick with me through the upcoming changes.
> 
> This chapter has some minor edits that change the plot and path of our two love birds. (Changes made on 10-30-2016)

Solas sat against a tree and pulled her down to sit between his knees. Cara leaned back against him and they watched the sunset in silence. She knew she should explain. She wouldn't lie, or pretend the kiss hadn't happened. Well, two kisses. The first one may have been a surprise, but she had allowed the second. Had all but dared him to kiss her again. She knew the evidence was still there to see.

Solas' gaze had lingered on her lips a moment and a slight frown had crossed his features, for only a second, but it was enough. Why hadn't he asked? What did he imagine had happened? His arm slipped around her chest, he pulled her tighter, and sighed against her cheek. She wanted to just melt into him, wanted to give into the desire he ignited. She sat forward and hugged her knees needing to compose herself for the discussion they must have.

"I'm sorry. I should have done more to deter his interest."

Solas caressed a hand over her shoulder. "You and I have made no promises to each other. You have done nothing to apologize for."

Cara rubbed her cheek over the hand on her shoulder. "Still, it felt as if I had." She turned to face him. "Why did you follow me in the beginning? I know the first week you were supposed to keep an eye on me, but after that?" Aside from aiding a few refugees, the decisions were Mia's. If she was honest with herself, they argued over things more often than they agreed. 

He sighed. "You were a mystery. You still are."

"So it was just curiosity then?"

"You were nothing like I expected. I worried you would reveal yourself, but you have become adept at redirecting attention."

"I appreciate your help, though I often seemed ungrateful at the time. I was afraid. The dreams made little sense at the time. Even if I had admitted I was Elvhen I feared you would find me suspicious."

"I may have been a bit overbearing. Refusing to admit the truth put you at risk."

"I can't argue with that."

He chuckled. "Which?"

"Both." Cara joined him in laughter, then shook her head. "I'm still not sure who I am sometimes. It isn't easy having lived in two worlds."

"Many in your place wouldn't handle the experience well."

"The differences between the two worlds are hard to explain. There are advancements in science that outpace anything Thedas has currently. There are things called computers, which hold vast amounts of knowledge, and can be connected to other computers with even more knowledge. Information, history, and books are available with the press of a few buttons. I had a device the size of a book that held hundreds of novels, my own personal, portable library."

"It sounds fascinating," he said. "It does explain your frustration with many things."

"Ok, so imagine a play where you decide what the hero does. Like a game of chess, but your decisions affect the lives of those involved. You may win in the end, but whose left? How are their lives and their world changed? This series of games was centered around Thedas. There were three. The first one was about the Hero of Ferelden, the second was Hawke's story..."

"So Varric's book of the Champion, it was written as you interacted with these..." He shook his head. "It is all very strange. I have nothing to compare it to."

"I know, which is why I didn't tell you before. I'm sure I've failed to explain it well. I felt a connection to each one of the characters involved, they felt real to me. Thedas wasn't real, but it felt familiar. I came to care for the people in these stories as if they were real."

"Your memories may have faded, but some part of you still held to this world."

"I had these strange feelings of familiarity when I read history as a child, it felt like being there. I was called imaginative, a daydreamer. My parents worried about me."

"When did the dreams of Thedas start?" he asked.

It was one of the things she'd been unable to hide from the start.

"Shortly after I started playing Hawke's story, almost two years ago. At first, they were dreams of the characters, I felt it was due to spending too much time focused on the game. It was similar to digging into history. I would have dreams of being there."

"Most dreams preclude the manifestation of magical abilities."

"I see that now, but then I dismissed them as just dreams. Many people dream in that world, some remember, most don't. Some of my dreams were vivid and I would remember every detail when I woke, others were hazy, jumbled mixes of strange events which didn't seem to have anything in common."

Cara waited a moment to give him a chance to ask any questions.

"I sold my business five years ago to fully devote my time to the ranch and horses. I found Remus soon after my daughter moved to a school where she would learn a specialty, like become a healer, an ambassador, or a teacher. She went into theater, wanted to be an actress." Cara chuckled and wiped at a tear. "She was good, too. So full of life and everyone loved her."

Cara walked away, her arms crossed around her stomach. The ache of her loss was a tight knot in her chest.

His arms circled around her and pulled her against him. She rested her cheek against his chest, her arms slipped around his waist. "You do not need to continue, we can discuss this when you are ready."

"Thank you, but it needs told. She died in an accident, eight months before I was found in Redcliffe." He held her close and kissed her temple. "During the day, I had my horses, evenings I spent in the games. She had bought them for me, and it was like she was still there. Eventually, the pain eased, but the dreams grew more frequent and more clear."

"Not once did you think they were memories?"

"Why would I? It was all too fantastic to believe. To have lived in another world? I was sure I was going crazy. That the grief over my daughter's death had pushed me over the edge."

"And when you woke in Thedas, everything you thought a fantasy was real."

"I still refused to believe the memories were my own. I was in a hospital somewhere in a comma and I would wake from my dream. There was a slim chance it was real and so I pretend to have forgotten rather than to try to be someone I wasn't."

"The first time I found you in the Fade," his mouth quirked into a grin, "half naked, tending a near drowned wolf pup, I knew you were much more than you pretended."

"I hoped you missed most of the details."

"To meet another dreamer with unique memories was too tempting. I confess to watching more than a few of your wanderings through the Fade."

Cara pushed his shoulder. "You did spy on me! I knew you would, how could you not? I was afraid to sleep; afraid my dreams would reveal me."

"There were times I made my presence known, expecting you to confront me when you woke."

"Confront you? I was afraid the Dread Wolf saw me as a threat, to admit I knew you and he were one and the same was suicide!"

"A complication, an unexpected distraction, but not a threat."

There it was. Had they both been simply looking for a distraction? "And is that how you see me still?"

"No, but you have been right to doubt." With a sigh, he dropped his hands from her waist. "The timing is -- unfortunate. Had things been different then..."

"But they weren't, and I'm not the same. You once accused me of forgetting my purpose, of being too heavily influenced by the other world."

"You are still a child of Elvhenan. While I knew you only by reputation, I still see Vhenrenan's influence in your actions." He hesitated and shook his head. "Then you do something completely unexpected. Something..."

"...completely human?"

He nodded.

"The memories of the past are just that -- memories. They don't shape who I am as much as the last forty years have. I don't see this world as you see it."

His hand brushed against her and she slipped her fingers between his. "You have become important to me, more important than I could have imagined." He pulled her to him and his lips caressed over her, and she melted against him. "If Elvhenan were still the same, circumstances would have kept us apart."

"Had I not left I would be bound to another."

"And if he survived? Would you not feel obligated to join him?"

She frowned and shook her head. "That life is only a pleasant dream. While we had come to care for each other, the match was political. I didn't feel the same for him as I feel for you." She placed her cheek against his chest, the comforting sound of his heartbeat against her ear. "Funny how things work out sometimes."

"Indeed." He kissed her temple then lifted her chin to cover her lips with his.

* * *

Mia pulled Cara aside and handed her a letter. She read through it quickly and frowned. It was addressed to Mother Giselle. Dorian's family wanted to meet with him and this was the week his father would be in Redcliffe. Cara would love to support Dorian during his personal quest, but it felt wrong to take Mia's place. When she questioned her, Mia explained Dorian had requested her presence.

Mia was needed in Skyhold. Josephine was insisting she'd return and deal with the prisoners awaiting judgment.

"Alexius is one of them," Mia began. "You suffered at his hands. What would you see as a fitting punishment? Death? Tranquility?"

When Cara left Redcliffe she wanted to see him dead. The year spent in a cell was a raw wound then, but she'd had time to separate the two men in the last few months.

"Mercy."

* * *

Fenris had only half listened to their conversation from the edge of camp. She and the other elf, Solas, had returned hand in hand. She had made her choice clear and he would respect it. After all, the two had know each other for nearly six months. He was the intruder here. 

Her request for mercy drew his full attention. Varric had written about Redcliffe. The Magister Alexius had created time magic. It was then he had first considered joining the Inquisition.

"You can't be serious? After what you suffered?" Mia asked.

Cara shook her head. "I did want his death, but he was a good man once."

Fenris watched Cara, her expression grim and pensive. He'd had the chance to show Hadriana mercy, instead, he had killed her. Until he faced Danarius again he had questioned if he had done the right thing.

Alexius had been one of Danarius' rivals. Fenris knew the man by reputation. Alexius may have been a good man at one time but he was a mage, and all mages were tempted. That the Magister had finally given in to that temptation was no surprise to him.

"He chose to aid the Venatori and Corypheus. Had we not stopped him, all chances of saving this world would have been lost."

"Yes, but you did stop him. He thought he could save his son. In the end, he was fighting for his life, knowing Corypheus was coming for him. I killed him myself and expected his death to bring me closure, but it didn't." He saw the slight shudder as she recalled events, and the sadness in her eyes.

Mia fell silent. A slight furrowing to her brow. She focused on sharpening her blades. Fenris wasn't the only one surprised by her request for mercy.

"You're more forgiving than I would be in your place. I will discuss my options with Josephine and Leliana. Perhaps they have a fitting punishment in mind."

"All I ask is you consider it. I will respect your decision."

Mia nodded. "Then you will go to Redcliffe with Dorian?"

Fenris had been surprised to find Alexius' apprentice among the companions of the Inquisitor. Even more surprised that he was welcomed as a trusted friend. He didn't trust the mage, he didn't trust any mage fully, especially one from Tevinter. The others simply didn't understand the danger, so it would be up to him to protect them all.

"Yes, of course."

"It could be a trap. Who would you like to take with you? We have nearly everyone here."

"Varric, Dorian and Maxwell travel well together."

She shook her head. "My brother is needed in Skyhold. There are some matters of estate he needs to see to."

Fenris moved toward the fire, he knew he moved silently, but Cara still looked in his direction. She was more observant than she appeared. "If you require a warrior, I would join you."

"I don't expect a trap, but the roads aren't safe for small groups. I need someone who can fight and you are still injured." She shook her head dismissing him and turned back to Mia.

"Then heal the wound," he said. For a moment he contemplated taking it back, instead, he stood confidently. He nearly smiled at the slight widening of her eyes, and the slight color in her cheeks.

Cara frowned at him. "Why now?"

"I've reconsidered, given the recent bear attack." He sat beside her.

"Then it's settled. I will see you in Skyhold in a few days." Mia put her gear away and bid them goodnight. A sly smile played on her lips.

* * *

Cara went to her tent to retrieve her kit. While the inner stitches would still dissolve in a few more days, the outer threads would need to be removed.

Solas looked up from his book. His smile made her heart skip a beat.

"Fenris has requested I heal the wound, and I have first watch."

"If healing him makes you uncomfortable I will offer my aid."

"I'm fine. From what I know of Fenris, he is an honorable man. He will respect my decision. I'm not worried." Cara knelt beside him and leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth. "Sleep, I will join you in a few hours."

"I can sit watch with you." He moved to put his tunic back on.

"Fenris is keeping watch. He volunteered and Mia has already gone to bed."

His brow furrowed.

"I'm sorry. I know it's going to be awkward for a few days, but I've made my choice. What I feel for you is deeper than anything I've felt before."

"I'm not a jealous man, but I won't share you."

"Good, because I won't share you either." She kissed him again. His arms slipped around her and pulled her into his lap, kissing her deeply. "Sit with us if you wish, perhaps he will retire once I heal his wound."

He lifted her to her knees. "Go, I will wait."

She grinned and stood to leave. His hand swatting her backside as she stepped away, started her giggling as she left the tent. The others might never see the playful side of him but it was one of the things she loved about him.

Fenris had removed his shirt and was unwrapping the bandage. There were dark bruises and swelling above the wound. The bear had landed at least one blow to his side. The stitched wound was still very raw, but it had bled only a little since she mended it.

"You didn't say your ribs were hurt."

"At the time, it seemed a minor thing to mention."

"It will feel strange if I have to mend a bone. Hopefully, it is just bruised."

He chuckled. "Healing magic feels strange under any circumstances."

"True, but mending bones is... well, they tend to itch, for lack of a better word."

"I should have done this from the start. I've grown used to staying near Kirkwall, not traveling while mending. I apologize for the added burden."

Cara looked up at him. "I understand why, you needn't apologize."

His voice was quiet. "Few would understand how important being given a choice is."

"Sometimes there is only one choice."

"No, there are always two, no matter how undesirable, one of them is often death."

"Only once have I considered death an option." She shook her head to banish the thoughts of Redcliffe from her mind.

"And when was that?"

Cara let out a sigh. It had been difficult to put all of those memories aside. "I prefer not to speak of it."

He nodded.

"This might sting at first."

* * *

Cara fought to keep her eyes open. The rocking motion of the Hart's leisurely pace and the warmth of Solas at her back lulled her to sleep.

The sensation of falling woke her. Solas held the reins in one hand, the other supported her curled against his chest.

"I didn't mean to wake you." His voice held a hint of humor.

Blinking to adjust to the light she found him watching her. She smiled up at him. "How long did I sleep?" The sun was higher in the sky, but it was still morning.

"Nearly an hour, we are almost to Redcliffe."

She blushed as his hand playfully pinched her hip. "How are you so cheerfully awake?" They had stayed up late curled up together, talking over the past.

"Sleep is not the only way to refresh the body and mind, you're simply out of practice drawing from the Fade," he whispered against her ear.

There were many things she had forgotten or no longer did without thinking. She leaned back in his arms just as the gates of Redcliffe came into view.

Dorian had been quiet the entire trip and she could sense his nervousness. They rode through the gate and met one of Leliana's scouts, who offered to care for their mounts while they walked into town.

Varric and Fenris took the lead, and she trailed last with Solas. The town seemed quieter without the mages, but more people milled about. Someone recognized her and Varric and thanked them for the Inquisition's help as they walked past.

An elderly elf waved and rushed forward. "I hoped you would return. The Inquisition sent word you had found my wife's shrine, but I hoped to thank you in person."

A small smile tucked on her lips. "I cleaned Senna's shrine and placed the flowers. May her ashes be gathered and carried safely by Falon'din." His name was like acid on her tongue as she repeated the inscription from the shrine.

"For all the years she carried me. You do an old man too much kindness. May you find someone who understands you, like my Senna understood me. Here, da'len, take this. My Senna would want you to have it."

"Ma nuvenin, hahren. Stay safe."

They resumed their pace and circled to the central clearing.

"He will never forget your kindness," Solas said.

"It was a simple task. Except for the bears." Cara's nose scrunched up at the memory.

Solas chuckled and squeezed her hand.

Dorian stopped at the tavern door. He reached for the handle then dropped his hand back to his side, fist clenched.

"It's alright if you leave, no one here will fault you. But if this were me and my Grace, I would hope there was something she would feel was worth reaching out to."

Dorian shook his head. "You could never be the parent mine has been."

"The elves and I will wait here," Varric suggested.

Fenris' turned to the dwarf, his glare menacing. Varric simply shrugged.

"If there's trouble, Violet can handle things until you and Chuckles crash through the door to her rescue," Varric grinned. "It's more dramatic, and makes for a better story that way."

Fenris sighed and rolled his eyes. "You are a strange man, Varric."

"Are you ready Dorian?" Cara asked.

Dorian's mustache twisted with the shaky grin on his lips. "With you by my side, I would storm the Halls of the Magisterium."

"Keep talking like that and Maxwell will challenge me to a duel," she said as she followed Dorina through the door.

* * *

They headed back to Dennett's. Fenris was fit enough to ride on his own and had handled Rascal well on their ride to Redcliffe. Dorian insisted they continue to the camp rather than take a room at an inn. But Cara didn't blame him. He'd spoken with his father, however, wounds like that took time to heal.

"I owe you an apology." Fenris' voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"An apology?"

He raked his hand through his hair. "I acted impulsively before. It was selfish of me."

"I accept it, although it really isn't necessary. I should have done more to discourage you, but I was thrown off guard." Cara shook her head. "It was unfair of me to flirt. I meant only to put you at ease."

"When I first met Varric I was more hesitant to become involved with people on any level. Until Danarius was dead at my feet, I expected the fantasy of freedom to end."

"I can't imagine what it was like. Wondering what may wait in the shadows."

"I knew nothing of life beyond being a slave. I suppose it is Isabela's influence. 'If you want something, fight for it,' she said. 'Life is too short to sit back and watch it pass by.' I had fought and gained my freedom, why shouldn't I face life with the same determination?"

"It's sound advice. Though, sometimes things are beyond our reach."

"I hadn't intended to make my interest known. You were with another. I don't make a habit of coming between people."

A silent 'Oh' formed on her lips. No wonder her flirting had brought such a change.

His hand flexed nervously at his side. "I was intrigued by Varric's letters, but I doubted he'd been completely honest."

"He tends to spin a tale that meets the listener's expectations," Cara replied with a hint of amusement.

Fenris chuckled. "That he does. I expected you to be less than he described. Instead, he was modest in his letters."

"I'm flattered, really, but I'm with Solas, and care for him. What we have is more than I could have imagined."

"I hope we can put this matter behind us?"

"Of course." Cara felt the weight of the incident lift from her shoulders as he walked away. The last thing she had meant to do was lead him on. Fenris deserved better.


	28. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Solas find shelter from a sudden storm while on an outing with Remus. The wily pup has intentionally led them far from Skyhold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some minor edits that change the plot and path of our two love birds. (Changes made on 10-30-2016)

Black feathered ravens darted to and fro, delivering messages. They called to each other as if to announce their arrival or departure. Cara felt the weight of being watched and found Fenris standing outside the tavern.

"I don't understand." Dorian joined her. While Mia and Maxwell charmed allies over lunch, Dorian and Cara ate lunch in the loft together. "You turned down the hot warrior for the bald scholar."

How could she explain? No one save Solas knew who she was. How would the rest react to such news? She doubted even Dorian would accept her, and he was her closest friend.

"Fenris is attractive and I admit I was tempted, but I do love Solas." Dorian shouldn't care, anyway. There had been several negative comments about mages directed at him from Fenris. "I'm surprised, he hasn't exactly been kind to you."

"Yes, well. We have a history of sorts. Alexius and Danarius were rivals and I have encountered the warrior's humiliation first hand. Displayed as a trophy, a testament to his master's privilege. You see, I was a mere apprentice, but now I wish I had the courage to say something back then."

"I know some of what he's been through, and I know he's not unreasonable, but I will always be a mage. I can't change that." She glanced back to the yard. Fenris no longer stood outside.

"You do realize his comments stem from years of abuse?" Dorian asked.

"I know. I wish there were a way to help him move past the hate he has toward magic." She looped an arm around Dorian's and walked back inside. "Is your room finished?"

"It is, though not nearly as nice as Mia's. There weren't even silk sheets for the bed! I specifically requested silk sheets." Dorian took residence right next to Maxwell's room, and although he looked sour whenever forced to cross the courtyard back to the Keep's library, the privacy the pair gained seemed worth it.

She led Dorian to her chamber overlooking the lush garden. The small window let in only a little light, but candles and the fireplace provided a soft glow, giving the room warmth despite the granite walls. The large bed seemed out of place in contrast to the smaller furnishings. The silk drapes in gold, with purple and green accents, hung over the canopy bed, matched the comforter, and the same fabric hung against the new wooden wall that provided privacy for the added bath. The other furnishings in the room included a wardrobe, a vanity, a small round table with two chairs, and a large bookcase. On either side of the bed were end tables, and at the end of it, a trunk with a cushioned lid.

Josephine had outdone herself, she fulfilled all her requests, and added a few touches of her own. The private bath had been a pleasant surprise.

"My room is larger than yours," Dorian scoffed.

"You need a larger room to hold that ego of yours."

A fisted hand landed over his heart. "Oh, you wound me! I should demand Mia give me your loft as punishment."

"We both know you won't leave your precious library nook."

"You have me there, such a wonderful place to glean all the latest gossip. Why, I almost forgot to tell you the latest news." His mustache twitched in amusement.

"Oh, something juicy, I hope?"

"Guess who has a thing for strapping young templars?" Dorian's voice dipped into a conspirative whisper.

Cara gave a small laugh. "That isn’t news, you know. Or did something happen between our dashing Commander and fearless Leader?"

"I do love when I know more than you. They shared a kiss on the battlements this morning. Such scandalous behavior." Tiny lines crinkled near his eyes with his widening smile. "They've been dancing around this attraction since she arrived in Haven, according to Varric. We were beginning to think they would be forever alone."

Cara moved to the balcony overlooking the garden. The air was crisp but not unpleasant, and she took a deep breath. The stretch in her lungs burnt with pleasant pain.

Dorian let out his own, deep breath. "Will Solas be joining us?"

"No, he has decided to work while it's quietest in the library. Besides, I think he's quite put out with the falling books earlier today." She shook her head at the image.

"He did ask for anything on early Tevinter, though the selection was poor. When the messenger didn't return for them, I decided to deliver them myself."

"I don't think he was expecting air mail."

Dorian gave a look of mock surprise. "You didn't think I would deliver them by hand? Me, do the work of a servant? Perish the thought!"

They returned to the loft just as Rylia delivered the lunch trays. There were four dishes instead of two. Cara raised an eyebrow and glanced at Dorian.

His palms shot up in the air. "Don't look at me."

Rylia's voice chimed in. "Forgive me, my lady. I was told in the kitchen you asked for four trays. I'll just take these back then."

"No, it's alright. I must have forgotten I had lunch plans. You may leave them."

Rylia relaxed and let out a soft sigh. There was still some work left on getting her to relax.

"Thank you, my lady. Ring when you want them picked up." She scurried off, and Cara hoped she was going to eat her own lunch.

"A glass of wine while we wait?" Cara asked.

Dorian nodded and draped himself along the chaise lounge. She handed him a glass and joined him. A resolute knock resounded through the chamber, and she nearly choked on her drink when she saw who entered.

Varric in lead, and behind him, the white-haired elf she had been avoiding.

He'd removed his armor and wore a loose fitting, black silk shirt. A V-neck left his chest bare, and tight black breeches drew attention to his muscular thighs. Dorian pinched her discreetly.

A smug smirk played on Fenris' lips.

A silent swear left her lips. How did a girl resist such temptation? Then she recalled warm full lips against hers. This thing with Fenris had taken her by surprise, but was only a fleeting attraction. Solas made her world spin with his kiss and had accepted her just as she was.

Varric pulled out a deck of cards. "Did you forget it's Friday?"

"I had, sorry."

"Oh, is that today?" Dorian's voice was laced with amusement.

"Alright, Sparkler. It's your turn to tell a story," Varric said.

"I doubt Fenris wishes to hear a story about me. I believe it's Cara's turn."

"I don't have any." She pulled a card from the deck. _Which suit was better, serpents or daggers?_ Cara tossed a card onto the discard pile.

Dorian leaned back. "Oh come now, you've told a few. Why not share a tale about your visit to the palace?"

"You were both there, I'm sure your version is more entertaining than my own."

"Are there no stories from before you joined the Inquisition?" Fenris asked.

"No one's been able to get her to tell a story yet, kid," Varric said. "I gave up trying."

"Nothing worth sharing. I am quite ordinary." She nearly squirmed under Fenris' gaze.

His eyes narrowed a bit and a slight frown creased his brow.

"Alright, then I will tell one," Varric began. "Violet had warned them about the attack on Haven."

She kept her eyes on the cards and remained silent, scoffing here and there when Varric exaggerated the details. Like her gallant rescue of Adan. She hadn't thrown herself over the man to shield him, he just happened to be in front of her at the time of the blast. If anything, he broke her fall.

"How was it you knew who was in trouble and where?" Varric asked.

"Hmm? Oh, elf hearing. We elves are all ears after all. Solas heard them too, remember?"

Fenris chuckled.

"Mia was the real hero. Facing Corypheus on her own, while I was unconscious and a burden to be carried out of Haven."

Fenris shook his head. "I can't believe he is still alive. How is this possible?"

Varric shuddered. "We don't know. But if he can't be killed we need to find a way to trap him again. Had we known ..."

"Varric, you can't blame yourself or Hawke. Corypheus planned this for a very long time," she reminded him.

"Another mage seeking ultimate power," Fenris scoffed. "I'm not at all surprised."

Cara drew the Angel of Death card and tossed it on the table, ending the game. Varric won the round with three Knights, and a pair of Daggers.

In the sudden lull, she took her glass of wine to the balcony. Fenris wasn't wrong, but it still stung. She would always be a mage. There were so many things he wouldn't be able to accept. The three men said their goodbyes. Dorian pulled the cord announcing they had finished with their luncheon. Cara finished her wine and went to her room.

She splashed cool water on her face and fixed her hair into a braid. Then changed out of the soft gown and into leather breeches and a tunic. She hoped to get the eastern corner cleared for the herb beds Adan needed.

* * *

Remus raced ahead of the two elves, tossing a look over his shoulder to make sure they both still followed. As he trotted through the mountain passes south of Skyhold he wondered what had changed within him. As a pup, he'd learned to judge his mistress by her body language, growls, and whines. Eventually learning to pick out a few spoken commands, but mainly he responded to her tone. From the moment, they found themselves in this strange place he understood far more than he ever had before.

Since their return to Skyhold, Solas and Cara were rarely together. It confused him. He liked Solas, and he knew Cara liked him. He also knew Solas liked Cara. But a new elf had shown up. Remus would see his pack stayed the way he wanted it. Cara had deferred her role of alpha to Solas, so why didn't he challenge the upstart and banish him? Remus had no doubt he was strong enough.

He would lead them somewhere where the two could be alone. That was how her kind did things when they liked each other. They would glance around and sneak off, hands clutched tightly, faces flushed, hearts racing, and the smell of arousal in their sweat. When they returned, they shared each others scent, expressions soft and peaceful, with warm smiles, and soft sighs. This was what his elves needed.

* * *

They stumbled after the wolf in the snow. Where Remus glided effortlessly over the snow banks, they occasionally sunk into soft powder. Carina called to her friend, but he would only glance back a moment before racing ahead.

Carina stumbled into a snowbank with a grunt. "I swear --- I'm going to shake him when I catch him." Her voice was laced with more humor than anger.

He reached out a hand and pulled her to her feet. Her cheeks were pink from the cold. Her smile warm and inviting. Her laughter rang out, at the snow clinging to her.

"Oh! It just went down my shirt!"

His eyes couldn't help but follow the path of her fingers as she brushed the snow from the opening. Her skin turned pink from the cold.

A yip and howl called their attention back to the rascal who continued to draw them further from Skyhold.

The sun was already beginning its descent. Their chances of reaching Skyhold before dark were small, even if they turned back now.

Carina looked at the sky and frowned. "It's getting late. Damn it, Remus!" She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I know you had other plans."

"I did, but I could hardly leave you out here alone." Alone. It had been some time since the two of them had been alone together. Someone was always nearby. She shivered from the cold, and he smiled. He took her hand and she sighed as the heat enveloped them both.

A soft chuckle escaped her lips. "I still forget that spell. It should be so easy to remember. Thank you."

They moved on following the footprints Remus had left behind, this time hand in hand. Her long slender fingers fit perfectly between his own.

A gust of wind behind them stirred the loose powder, sending it swirling around them as they walked. Solas glanced over his shoulder and frowned at the darkening clouds.

"We need to find shelter, quickly." He hastened his steps pulling her along. There was an abandoned cabin in the area. They had found it during their trek toward Skyhold.

"It's coming fast; we may not reach shelter in time. Can you shift yet?"

Solas shook his head. "I do not have the strength yet." He nearly growled in frustration. All his power had been absorbed by the orb. Even a year and a half later he lacked the power most mages had.

"It's alright. You gain strength every day."

"It is maddening to be so ..."

"Normal?" she asked.

He chuckled. Normal was not the word he would have chosen.

"It isn't the first blizzard I've been stuck in. Montana weather is unpredictable."

They lacked supplies. Carina had her bow and pack, but Solas had only his staff. They had no tent or bedrolls, not even a mount. Traveling back, through more snow, would take them longer.

The sky darkened over them as the snow began to fall. The wind swirled it around, blocking out everything but what lie directly ahead. Carina mimicked a wolf's howl, and through the wind, he faintly heard Remus respond.

"He's too far ahead, I'm not sure what direction he went." Carina's voice rose a bit.

"He is better suited for this weather than we are."

They traveled slowly through the snow, staying to what he believed the path. After an hour, he worried they had veered off course. Then he caught a glimpse of a dark shape through the swirling snow and breathed easier as he turned them toward the black outline. They had almost walked past it. Any change in course one way or the other, and they would have been lost in the storm. A howl sounded closer, and Remus appeared before them.

They found the broken fence, and followed it to the cabin. Moved along the outer wall to the door. Solas frowned. "It's locked."

"No problem." Carina pulled out a kit and chose her tools. "Sera has been teaching me," she said with an impish grin.

Solas snorted and shook his head. Sera. Did he admire or pity her?

Carina pushed open the door and stepped inside. The rustle in the dark room told them they weren't the only ones seeking shelter. Rodents most likely had found the cabin a home long ago.

"We're in luck. There is plenty of wood by the fireplace. If the chimney is clear we can at least have a fire," she said as she put her tools away.

The cabin, to his surprise, was in good shape. A thin layer of dust covered the sparse furnishings, and cobwebs hung in the corners, but it was intact. Carina knelt in front of the fireplace and leaned forward, looking up the chimney.

"Good, it's clear. Safe to build a fire."

He knelt beside her, taking the log from her. She gave him a slight smirk, but let him build the fire. It had taken her months to relinquish menial tasks to others without becoming offended. Her independence was as admirable to him as it was frustrating.

Outside the wind howled and the snow swirled against the boarded windows. But the cabin was solidly built, and kept the breeze at bay.

Carina opened a wardrobe. "Interesting, it's enchanted, keeping rodents out of the blankets. I wonder what other treasures are still here?" She unfolded one and began removing her armor.

He felt the tips of his ears warm when he realized her intent, and abruptly turned his eyes back to the fire. It did nothing to remove the vision of her he held in his mind. She draped a blanket around his shoulders and sat beside him.

"You should get out of your wet clothes." The color in her cheeks had nothing to do with the chill in the room.

"It is best I not." The words felt harsher than he intended. "It would not be wise," he said more softly. The temptation to touch her had grown. Knowing the two of them were alone added to that temptation, but he would not push her. She was still vulnerable. And perhaps, a small part of him wondered if her attraction to Fenris would continue.

"I know your clothing is as wet as mine. They can't feel comfortable. I promise not to peek," she teased, "I'll be on my best behavior."

With a snort, he began to chuckle. "Very well."

He removed his wet clothing and wrapped the blanket around his waist. Carina kept her gaze toward the fireplace. Just as he sat beside her, she slipped a bare arm out and drew her pack closer. "I brought some food if you're hungry?"

He wasn't, but perhaps the distraction was needed. "It is nearing that time."

As she dug through her pack, the blanket slipped from her shoulders. He reached for it just as she did and she held her breath as his gaze followed the pulsing vein along her throat. A flush of pink rose from her chest and his eyes followed it down as he pulled the fabric back around her. This was not a simple attraction for either of them.

He reached for her chin and tipped her face toward him. "You have nothing to fear. I am a patient man."

"I know. It's gotten harder for you too? It's not just me?" She licked her bottom. Her eyes darted to the floor. "It's been a long time since I let someone get this close."

He'd known there was more to her hesitation. She was afraid. Afraid to be close to anyone.

"You never mentioned Grace's father."

"No, I haven't --- he doesn't deserve to be remembered." She turned away, her expression hard. She pulled her knees up and hugged them under the blanket.

"How long have you been alone?"

She made a disgusted noise. "Fifteen years, though I suppose it's been longer than that for you. I learned long ago not to trust my heart. It was best to be alone." She rested her cheek on her knees and stared into the fire. "Maybe this is only a dream. A moment in the Fade and will slip away with the dawn."

He stared at her, processing what she tried not to say. The self-doubt seemed to contradict what he knew of her. He'd thought she avoided him out of love for someone left behind, and he'd tried to give her a chance to heal. Now he longed to see her free of these memories.

He slid closer, drawing her against him. "Not all men are the same."

She sighed. "Maybe not, but it's a lesson hard learned. He wasn't the first asshole. But I vowed he would be the last to treat ..." Her voice cracked.

He pulled her around to face him, drew her into his lap and held her. The first sob was followed by a shudder as she tried and failed to fight back the tears. In between sobs she told him of her short marriage. The verbal abuse, feeling unworthy, believing she was everything he had told her. Even long after he had left, he had found ways to belittle her, and interfere with her happiness. She had learned to cope by shutting herself off from everyone but her daughter.

He understood now. She had built a wall around her heart, but craved companionship. She flirted only with those who wouldn't take her seriously and avoided anyone that tried to draw too close. They weren't so different in that regard. He'd held her at bay for similar reasons. He'd found few he could truly trust. The leader of a rebellion lead a lonely existence.

She pushed away and wiped at her eyes. Found a cloth and blew her nose. She refused to look at him. She moved to check on her clothing. "Still too damp." She frowned at the wind howling outside. "The storm is getting worse."

"Even if it let up, it is too late to return to Skyhold."

She moved away from the fire, away from him. She brushed the dust from a chair and moved it closer to the fire. She grabbed her pack and sat. Remus stretched out at her feet.

Carina handed him some dried fruit and took a strip of dried meat for Remus. Instead of food, she pulled the bottle she always carried with her. He frowned. An intoxicated Carina was not a good idea. Not with them trapped in a cabin, in the middle of a blizzard.

She raised an eyebrow at his frown. "You weren't about to tell me I shouldn't drink when I'm upset were you?"

"No, I had other reasons."

She nodded and put the bottle back in her pack. "Let's forget my moment of weakness."

"Carina, no one should be treated in such a manner. It is not a weakness to feel the way you do. Once betrayed by one you love and trust, it is difficult to allow another in."

"I suppose you know that firsthand as well. I wasn't the only one who hesitated." She stood and paced the small cabin. "I know it was not all my fault. Nothing I did made any difference, not even when I did things exactly as he wanted. Still, it's not easy putting that kind of self-doubt aside."

He moved to intercept her and she trembled under his hands.

"I thought after all this time I could move on, learn to trust again. I'm the one standing in my own way now. I want to move on, but it's myself I no longer trust. I thought being older and wiser was enough. We have danced around this attraction, indulged in a few stolen kisses, and flirted with the idea of doing more. Part of me isn't ready for that to change."

"I hesitated out of fear. I expected you to see me differently."

"We are both Elvhen. Why would I have treated you differently?"

"There are few who know Solas and Fen'harel are the same. It is an identity hidden in anonymity. Had you not known, I would simply be Solas, for as long as possible. Another wanderer whose home and age was lost to them."

"You would have continued the deception?"

Her tone held an edge and struck a chord. But he would have. To only be Solas, rather than the betrayer. "I would have. You would have looked at me differently. How could you not? I understand why you feared telling me your secret." He placed his hand along her cheek. "I would hide the truth as long as possible."

She sighed. "One of the alternate story lines had a Dalish elf as the Inquisitor. The two of you grew close. In the end, you walked away rather than tell her the truth."

Him, care for a Dalish? He scoffed, "it wouldn't have been real."

"You're wrong. You were deeply in love, but it wasn't enough for you to stay. You called her 'Vhenan'." He brushed a tear from her cheek. "I was sure we would end the same. So, I didn't encourage anything." She chuckled. "And sent mixed signals instead. I debated if the risk of the heartbreak was worth it."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. His chin rested on the top of her head. They had both sent mixed signals. Even now he struggled. Could their relationship survive despite his chosen path?

"Some days I almost forget the world I left behind, other times I wonder what might have changed had never left. I don't regret that life, not really. It's as much a part of me as Thedas is."

He held his breath and closed his eyes. She was of two worlds. Her experiences had given her insight and a depth to her wisdom that he lacked.

"The path I have walked is a lonely one."

"You aren't alone, not anymore. We will find a way together." She looked up at him. "You can try to push me away, but I know how much you care. I will not be sent away easily."


	29. Pieces of the Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Solas are still trapped together. Knowing everyone is concerned about their friends, Varric gets the gang together for a game of Wicked Grace. Ever curious, Fenris continues to piece together the mystery surrounding Cara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter has been updated to reflect plot changed surrounding the romance pairing.

Cara and Solas had been gone for hours when the storm broke over the mountain pass. The Inquisitor ordered everyone to stay within the fortress. If the storm ended by midday next, she would send out scouts and soldiers to clear the path and search for them. Solas and Cara were more than capable of surviving such a storm, she'd told them.

Fenris sat with Varric in front of the fireplace of the main Hall. If any news came they would know it before most.

Varric pushed a glass of wine in front of him. "Relax, kid. Between Solas and Remus, Violet is as safe as we are."

"There is nothing for miles but trees and valleys."

"There are a few abandoned cabins, and a few caves, depending on what path they took." Varric swirled his glass. "Violet is a natural in the outdoors." He shook his head. "Heck, she's a natural just about any place."

"Tell me, Varric, what is Cara's story?" Fenris asked.

"I've told you what I know."

"You expect me to believe everything you wrote me was the truth?"

"I know, I know. I tend to spin a story, but honestly, her tale so far is story enough."

"Is she hiding from someone? The pieces don't add up."

"Leliana and I thought the same thing. She's talented, pretty, and educated. But no one has heard of her before. " Varric leaned back and stared into the fire. "I've found nothing. Leliana hasn't found anything either."

"Everyone leaves a trail. Someone always knows something."

"Nothing has come up through any of my contacts. Before she showed up in Redcliffe no one saw her or her wolf." Varric shook his head. "As crazy as it sounds, it's like she literally fell out of the sky."

Fenris frowned. "People don't just appear out of nothing."

"Exactly, and everyone has a past. Even Sera, I can trace back to Denerim and the Alienage, but Violet --- it's a dead-end. Leliana thought she might be a bard. So, when the Palace sent a request she suggested Cara. I thought certainly someone would recognize her, and word would find its way back. But it's all been the same. No one remembers seeing her before."

"I find it hard to believe someone like her could stay unseen. I don't think she is a threat, but she's afraid of something," Fenris said.

"Chuckles and Dorian are the ones who know her best. It's possible one of them knows something."

"Are you certain she isn't from Tevinter?" The moment he said it he knew it wasn't true. She didn't act like a former slave. If anything, she held an air of nobility. And yet, she was completely at ease with commoners.

"That was brought up. After Redcliffe, there were a lot of questions about how she was the only one to remember the year of events."

"What did happen in Redcliffe?" There was a story there, but Varric hadn't shared any of it through his letters. 'He'd said remind me to tell you about it.'

Varric rubbed his chin. "I wasn't there so I only have what I've heard second hand. Cara refuses to talk about it. Dorian and Rosie have told me their version of events." Varric propped his feet up and poured them both more wine.

"The spell ended and everyone was right where they had been. But Cara had fainted. She was white as a sheet and clutched at her chest. Rosie and Dorian witnessed her death as Dorian cast his spell. She'd been stabbed through the heart. She told them she remembered what happened and fled the castle. It took them half the day to catch up to her."

"Blood magic," Fenris snarled. "But whose?"

"If it was blood magic, Solas is certain it was accidental. Neither Cara, nor Dorian, have ever used it. Cara had nightmares for weeks after." Varric shuddered. "She'd wake half of Haven screaming. The last time I saw anyone that bad off was when Leandra was murdered."

"Isn't the Tevinter a necromancer?"

Varric snorted. "Have you seen what he calls into battle? No. He may raise the dead, but he didn't bring her back."

"Cullen and the Seeker both feared possession, but Cara's been hurt enough times since then. She's nothing like Anders and Justice."

"You left out her being a mage. Why?"

"At the time she rarely used spells. The occasional bolt of lightning, or froze someone. After Redcliffe, she had new spells. When she's scared or upset is when she casts the big storm spell of hers."

"She seemed calm in Crestwood."

"She looks calm while fighting. But after, when she's alone is when she falls apart. It's why she sneaks off to go hunting."

"Had I not followed she would have been killed."

"Usually, she has Remus. But only one bear?" Varric shook his head. "I'm not so sure. We fought seven bears in the Hinterlands before Redcliffe. It was the first time she cast her storm. It would be effective against one bear. Though, she did pass out and slept for over half a day afterward."

Fenris pinched his lips together. He had asked her about the storm. She'd said the spell was too much for her. Right before they heard the Qunari he had felt a shift in her magic as if she was summoning it into one large spell. She had clamped it down in an instant. No mage he knew had that much control. Magic ebbed away slowly or was channeled into another spell to release it. Had she resolved herself to call it, feeling there was no other choice?

"Remember the witch, Flemeth?" Fenris asked.

"The one who helped Hawke get out of Ferelden?" Varric asked. "Seeing someone turn into a dragon isn't something easily forgotten."

"Cara has a similar feel to her magic."

Varric looked around then leaned in. "Let's keep that on the quiet. The last thing she needs is the Seeker getting wind of it. But, it would explain a few things. She went from knowing a few spells to controlling elements like no other mage I've seen. She's also a dreamer, like Solas."

"Sominari? Even in Tevinter that power is rare. Few mages live long enough to control it before becoming possessed. Are you certain?"

"According to Rosie," Varric grinned. "She found them kissing in the Atrium. After taking her on a little walk through Haven, she woke in her own bed here in Skyhold. She never had a clue she was in the Fade."

Fenris' frown deepened. Not even their trip into the Fade to aid the half-elf blood had been a perfect deception.

"Merill used to tell stories of elves and ancient magic. Dreamers who slept for centuries without aging. Shit, you don't think ---" Varric laughed and shook his head. "Naw, not Violet."

Fenris stayed silent while he thought over this idea. The pieces were beginning to fall into place. He was almost certain his friend was closer to the truth than he realized.

The door to the Hall opened and a gust of wind blew snow near them. The scout who entered shook the snow from her clothes before stepping further inside.

"Any news?" Varric asked.

"Sorry, Master Tethras, no news. They didn't make it to either base camp. Hopefully, they found shelter."

"I'm sure they did. Cara is pretty crafty."

"She is and so is her wolf. He'll protect her with his life," the scout said. "Please, excuse me, Lady Nightingale is expecting me."

The scout gave a short nod and went through the door to the stairs leading to the library.

Varric stood and moved to the door near the fireplace. "I think a game of Wicked Grace in the tavern is what everyone needs tonight. I'll get everyone together, meet us there in an hour."

* * *

Fenris found them all crowded around three tables pushed together.

"Good, you decided to join us! You know most everyone here, except for Blackwall and Cole."

"I've heard about you. Impressive skills," Blackwall said.

Fenris took the seat next to Varric.

"I suppose you need me to spot you?"

Fenris gave him a smug smile and placed a pouch of coin on the table. "I found a few jobs along the way."

"Speaking of jobs. The Inquisition has several positions you might be interested in," Mia said.

"Recruit later, Rosie."

"Cullen offered a training position and my own squad of soldiers, but I doubt anyone would willingly follow an elf."

"Have you met Cara? Most of us here would gladly follow her orders. When our lovely Inquisitor isn't around of course," Dorian said.

"I'm surprised an Altus from Tevinter would lower themselves to take orders from an elf."

"I follow a friend. Cara was the first person in Haven who didn't treat me like I had the plague. It caused her a great deal of trouble and yet, she never stopped being kind to me."

"You do understand how things looked, Dorian," Cassandra said. "We worried Cara had been a spy, planted by Alexius. I was certain of it after Redcliffe."

"Of course, she was willingly tortured and violated, not to mention corrupted by Red Lyrium. Then, to confuse everyone, she sacrificed herself to give The Herald and I a chance to reverse Alexius' spell. I can see why you thought she was working for the Venatori."

"I was wrong. Wherever she came from, she has been the Inquisitor's strongest supporter."

Fenris watched as Dorian contained his anger. The mage truly cared about her.

"I apologize, Lord Pavus. Such a friendship was unheard of in Tevinter."

"Truly alright. Had someone told me four years ago I would leave Alexius' house and find myself enjoying the company of Southerners, I think I would have set his ass on fire."

Fenris studied Cole. The boy sat across from him. His floppy hat cast his face in shadows. He looked up and pale blue eyes, too large for his face, peeked through his overlong pale blond bangs.

"She's afraid she doesn't fit."

"Kid, what have we said about that?" Varric asked.

"She fights to find a home, but fighting makes her sad."

"A spirit! But you were not summoned or bound. How is this possible?" Fenris asked. He looked at the faces around the table. How could they calmly play cards with a spirit? How could the spirit play cards?

"Solas says Cole has been here since before the Breach," Mia said. "He was at the White Spire during the rebellion."

"Cara remembers. She doesn't forget. Most people forget me. Varric calls me, Kid. Makes me more real. I want to help, but if I change, Cassandra, Cullen of Mia promise to stop me."

"Cole is a spirit of Compassion," Dorian said. "It's fascinating to see how he grows over time."

"Hope would be sad if I died, but promises to remember me. She helps me be more like her."

"I thought Cara was helping you?" Varric asked.

"She does. The spirits like her. They share secrets with her."

Fenris was certain Cole meant Cara was afraid. But some small thought in the back of his mind told him there was more to glean from the boy’s cryptic words.

"Does Cara talk to Hope?" Fenris asked.

"Cara talks to Command; Command talks to Hope."

"Command? The spirit we met in Crestwood?" Mia asked.

"Yes."

"Can you hear either of them? Or are they too far away?" Dorian asked.

Cole stared off a moment. "She is too bright to hear, fuzzy, far away. But safe."

"Thank you, Cole," Mia said. "We will find them as soon as we can get the pass cleared."

Fenris, unable to concentrate on the game, folded his hand and moved to the window with his drink. Relief filled him knowing she was safe, even if jealousy tugged at him.

The talk at the table drifted back to Cara. There were tales of her arrival and the strange wolf who watched over her protectively. Arguments over who fought better, Mia or Cara. Sera bragged she could still out shoot her, and was ribbed by everyone who remembered her comment about Cara being better the first time she saw her shoot. All of them cared about her. Which again brought the question, why was she afraid of her past? If they accepted a spirit such as Cole, what great secret of hers could be worse?

* * *

Cara sat at the small table in the cabin, writing in a journal she had picked up in Redcliffe months ago. "Is Cassandra's disgusted noise more like an ugh, a scoff or a grunt?"

Solas looked up from the tome he was reading. "It depends on who she directs it at. Why?"

"I'm writing a book. Varric wants a story, but he never said it had to be mine."

"Will the Seeker be pleased to be in your book?"

"Cassandra? Absolutely. She's a sucker for smutty literature."

Solas closed his book and moved to the table. "More surprises. Who else is in this book?"

Cara slipped a blotting paper over the book to hide her writing from him. "You mean to ask if you are in the book."

"Am I?"

"I suppose you must wait and read it with everyone else."

Solas scoffed.

"That's the sound I'm looking for but how do I describe it?"

* * *

Fenris stayed in the tavern long after the others had left for the night. Mia and Cassandra had carried Sera to her room while Maxwell and Iron Bull had helped Dorian to his. Most of the patrons had left for the night, only a few straggler and a couple too busy kissing to notice anything else, were left.

"We're about to close up. You want anything else?"

Fenris looked up into hopeful eyes. The girls stood to draw attention to her trim waist and well-rounded breasts.

"I do not require anything, thank you."

"What about after? It's a cold night. Be a shame for a handsome man to freeze alone in his bed."

Had she been unattractive, he might have thought her offer was out of desperation. She was comely enough and had no shortage of attention seekers through the evening.

Fenris coughed. "I'm flattered, but I fear this is the last of my coin."

The barmaid sighed. "If you change your mind you know where to find me." She gave him one last glance before moving to another table.

* * *

 Cara felt Solas staring at her back. "It kills you not to know, doesn't it?"

"No, I simply prefer to be left out of your tale."

Cara gave him a smug smile. "I think you will be pleased."

"Are you in the book?"

"Possibly." She tossed him an impish smile over her shoulder and turned back to her writing.

Solas Fade stepped and snatched the book from her.

She jumped up with a yell, but he held it just out of her reach.

"You can't read it! It's not finished yet!" Her cheeks deepened to a dark pink and even the tips of her ears darkened with her blush.

He flipped back a few pages and cleared his throat. "She saw him across the crowded dance floor. The simple mask and sedate tunic marked him as a lesser noble, yet he moved with the arrogance of Royalty.

Behind her mask and fan, she thought her admiring glances were hidden until his gaze turned her way. A shiver raced down her spine and caused a pleasant fluttering in her stomach. Her heart skipped a beat as the corners of his lush lips tugged upward with a smug smile." He stopped and arched a brow at her.

"An Orlesian romance?" he asked.

"Not at all, the setting is Arlathan, but few would know it. Now you've had your fun, give it back."

Solas closed the book and handed it back to her. "The scene is familiar." He chuckled when her blush deepened.

"It would be, considering it's based on the first time we met."

"An interesting choice."

"Why not? There is little difference between the royal courts of today and Arlathan."

"Is there some other reason you chose us as the backdrop for you novel? Perhaps a desire left unfulfilled?"

"Are you suggesting I have an ages old desire to sleep with you?"

"I doubt there would have been any sleeping involved."

"Why Solas! How positively wicked of you."

He shrugged giving her a smug smile. "The wildness of youth."

Cara bit her lip and looked up at him through thick eyelashes. "Care to help with some research?"

Solas sucked in a breath as she slipped her hands around his waist and pressed her hips against him.

"A tempting offer."

"I can see how tempting considering you have already risen to the occasion."

"Now who's being wicked?"

"Oh, I know I'm wicked. The question is --- are you ready to be wicked together?"

"Carina ---- " His breath sucked in with a hiss as her hand burned a trail down his chest.

She waited a moment. When he made no move, she stepped away with a sigh. "I won't push. What we have is worth waiting for. Goodnight, Solas."

He faced the fire, listening to her prepare for bed behind the curtain. The cabin had grown warm and he tossed his shirt with their armor. Beside her pack the journal lay open. He picked up the book and sat in the chair by the fire. It wasn't lack of desire that stopped him, he told himself she needed more time to adjust to all she had faced this past year. He would not add to her burdens.

_'He'd fallen asleep the book in his lap. A noise roused him from his sleep. His tired eyes refused to focus, fought to stay closed and return him to his dreams._

_A soft feminine voice called to him. She was a vision bathed in golden firelight. Her long hair fell over each shoulder concealing full round breasts beneath the thin fabric clinging to her. The translucent gown teased at his imagination, failing to fully hide the dark triangle resting above her shapely thighs._

_He began to stand, thinking of meeting her halfway, but his limbs, still heavy with sleep, held him in place. She seemed to float toward him, a soft smile on her face. Eyes the color of twilight in the dimly lit room; held him captive._

_"You fell asleep reading again."_

_Her soft voice washed over him, tugging at a primal need deep within. With a growl, he reached for her and pulled her across his lap._

_Her sweet laughter rang out through the room before his kiss swallowed all sounds. She moaned softly through her nose as his hands caressed up her thighs pushing the fabric aside. Quiet moans and sighs escaped her lips as his hands explored her soft, exposed flesh. Her hands kneaded his neck and shoulders, as she tried to turn toward him, seeking to press herself against him. Her firm thigh brushed against him, causing his already thickening member to ache as flames of desire awakened between them._

_His hand caressed lower, brushing along the juncture between her thighs and she opened to him, arching into his touch. The musky scent of her filled his senses.'_

The thud of the book hitting the floor roused him from his sleep. Behind the curtain the soft sounds of her breathing reached him, barely audible over the pounding beat of his own heart. The only other sound in the cabin was the crackle of fire over the logs.

Oh, how she tempted him. She had teased and flirted from the beginning. Slowly breaking through his resolve to stay alone. He moved to the bed and watched her sleep. He brushed a lock of hair from her face, and caressed along the edge of her ear.

Her eyes fluttered open, she stretched slightly, her smile was warm and inviting. She lifted the edge of the covers. He shucked his breeches and slid into bed beside her. She sighed contentedly when he gathered her in his arms and pulled her closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated on whether or not to change the part involving Fenris' POV. But I have plans for our broody elf outside of any romantic attachments to Cara.


	30. A Glimpse of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Solas are trying to return to Skyhold, while soldiers are clearing the pass to the base-camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While there are similarities between this and the original chapter, there are significant parts cut or altered to fit the new plot direction. (changes completed on 10/30/2016)

She stood at the top of a grand staircase. The ballroom was filled with masked elves. The women wore flowing, shimmery gowns in translucent fabrics that barely covered what lay beneath. Men wore tight breeches of brightly colored leather accented by golden pieces of armor.

The glittery hall was adorned with golden mosaics and gilded statues representing each of the Evunaris. Crystal columns twisted and stretched upward, the tops branching out like tree limbs, and supported the glass ceiling. The cloudless night sky above glittered with twinkling stars, like diamonds against a sea of deep purple. The enchanted stones around the room and spaced along the floor glowed softly, infused with lyrium and magic. The floor was dark blue giving the effect of dancing on a sea of stars.

In her hand was a mask in the shape of a white wolf, on a long handle. She caressed her fingers over the soft rabbit fur. Rows of tiny amethysts edged the top of the eyes the rest was unadorned. Her own reflection in the mirrors along the upper terrace took her breath away. Her gown was of a soft iridescent fabric. The magical fabric moved with her like water and clung just as tightly with each step. It scooped low in the front, resting just at the swell of her breasts and hung low on her shoulders. It was tighter around her upper arm, the only thing that really held the gown up, then flared at the elbow and draped past her hands. The back scooped low as well, resting just at the flare of her hips, tight at the waist. The fabric draped around her legs with high slits that would expose her flesh as she walked or danced. The color was such a pale lavender it was almost white. A necklace of amethysts and diamonds rested against her chest, and diamonds and amethysts winked in the partial updo of braids and curls.

She turned back to the dance floor and lifted her mask into place. Instantly the hall filled with soft music, and elves danced around the floor below. Then she saw him moving toward her from the middle of the dance floor.

His own mask already in place. It covered the top half of his face and forehead. The face of the Dread Wolf. Her heart skipped a beat at the red eyes above his blue ones, but she wasn't afraid of him. The style of clothing he wore was simple but the fabric was that befitting a God. Around his shoulders draped a black fur cloak. Rubies and sapphires twinkled at the clasp at his throat. He walked slowly to the base of the stairs and leaned against the railing. His full lips turned up at the corners in an appreciative smile.

She slowly descended the steps her eyes locked with his and she watched the passion flare in his eyes at the way her gown moved over her frame. When she reached him, she held out her hand and he straightened, taking it in his he bowed over it and kissed the inside of her wrist. She felt her heartbeat flutter in her chest and her breath caught in her throat.

"You look more beautiful than even I imagined," he said.

She curtsied low to him. "You take my breath away," she said.

"You flatter me." She could see his ears turn pink. Did he not know how handsome he was?

"Flattery implies I've exaggerated. I assure you I speak the truth," she said and he rewarded her with a smile.

She realized the other elves had disappeared, and the music had stopped. She looked around confused.

"Ir abelas," he said. "I find I'm loath to clutter this memory with ghosts of the past." In an instant, the music started up again.

"Dance with me." He stepped back and bowed to her, extending his hand.

"I would love to."

He pulled her into his arms and moved her around the dance floor. He held her close, allowing only enough room for her gown to move freely between them. His hand rested on her lower back, his palm along her hip his thumb caressing her side while his fingers rested along the edge of her gown along the swell of her ass. Her left hand held her mask in place and he held her right hand gently. They practically glided around the dance floor. She hadn't expected him to dance so well, but she shouldn't have been surprised. They danced three dances in silence enjoying the music and the movements of each other.

"I'd almost forgotten how beautiful all this was," she said.

"You dance more beautifully than you fight."

She blushed at the passion in his tone. His voice was already one that tugged at all her secret places, but the tone he used now was a caress of silk across her skin causing it to tingle. Liquid heat began in her core and moved out to her limbs. She felt her heart beat race. They were just dancing! How was it she felt like he was making love to her with his voice and his eyes? She unconsciously bit her lower lip and then felt his mouth on hers. A growl emanated from deep in his throat as he crushed her to him. She parted her lips and his tongue pushed past them and found hers. When he broke the kiss, she was breathless.

"Ir abelas," he said. "This was supposed to be a night of dancing."

"Neither of us are innocent, Solas. This is the natural course when two people are in love." 

He took her hand, spun her and pulled her back into his arms and danced with her around the room. The heat from his hand on her lower back was just the starting point. The warmth spread out from his light touch. It was what she still saw in his eyes that made her heart race, and her breath catch in her throat. Her step faltered as she imagined his hands elsewhere.

He caught her easily and stopped dancing. His expression was one of curiosity.

"Please, I think I need some air."  It sounded stupid, this was the Fade. She had plenty of air in the cottage. He nodded and led her through a set of crystal and gold French doors that led into a lush but dimly lit garden.

The cool night air felt so real against her skin. He led her through a rose covered arch into a small secluded section. One of many set within for lovers. They sat on the cool marble bench.

"This is how things should have been, the night we first met."

"You know it wouldn't have been allowed," she said.

"It is why things had to change."

"Because you couldn't make your interest known?"

He chuckled. "No, because countless others faced the same obstacles. Forced to live within the confines of their position from birth."

She felt her cheeks warm. "Right, silly of me to think the kiss was more than an impulse."

"I rarely acted so impulsively, the kiss was more than I could admit," he whispered as he pulled her closer.

* * *

Their pace frustrated Cara. By midday, they had traveled less than four miles. Drifts in the pass made travel difficult even for Remus. Inquisition banners marked the road and were the only assurance they had found the pass back to Skyhold.

"You should rest," Solas said.

"We can't afford to rest, if we don't find them in the next hour, we must return to the cabin, or spend the night in a snowbank. It's not something I want to do again."

"Again?" he asked.

"Spring storms in the mountains often brought this much snow. If you couldn't find shelter you made one. If the snow is deep enough, you hollow out a hole to crawl into, if not you make a pile deep enough to hollow out. As much fun as this trip has been, I don't want to spend the night with the three of us curled up trying not to freeze to death."

"Wearing yourself out will not prevent that."

She sighed. "No, I suppose not. There ahead, a spot in the sun." Cara pointed to a boulder above the snow line. The sun shown on top, at least it would be warmer than sitting on the snow.

Solas helped her climb up, and sat beside her. Remus curled at their feet with a sigh. He still gave them shy glances, ashamed his actions had caused them trouble.

Cara pulled some dried meat from her pack and offered it to Remus. She offered Solas an apple and took the last one for herself. "This is the last of it."

She shivered and Solas curled against her back, shielding her from the wind. She tossed the remains of the apple core, and a squirrel cautiously moved across the snow to investigate.

Remus lifted his head, alert and ready.

Cara placed a hand on his back. "Let it be. Your hunting has done enough trouble."

With a sigh, he stretched out, the dried meat between his paws, as he pulled strips of it off to eat.

Cara found it difficult to sit still, they should be trying to return to Skyhold. The closer they got there on their end the, the sooner they would get to Skyhold. Remus' ears twitched and he looked up, his nose turned into the wind. He stood and trembled with excitement. A moment later they felt the gentle caress of magic.

"I believe our rescue is here." She pulled the brandy from her pack and leaned against Solas.

"Now you chose to relax. We can continue on and meet them, now that you've rested."

"It would be inconsiderate of me to ruin their fun by rescuing myself." She took a drink from the bottle and the warmth of the brandy spread out chasing the chill from her bones. She handed the bottle to Solas. He kissed her throat before taking a drink.

Another thirty minutes passed before the first of the company reached the top of the rise. They watched as the soldier, possibly a mage, turned excitedly to those behind them. Others soon joined them. A cheer went out through the group.

One of Cullen's runners didn't wait for the rest. Instead, he crawled over the snowdrifts. Taking short puffs of air to catch his breath, he stopped at the snow line of the boulder. "Miss Cara, Messer Solas, you have no idea how glad we are to have found you."

"Why Jim, you sound concerned. Surely, such a fine day as this deserves a long walk?" Cara teased.

Solas' chuckle ended with a snort.

"The Commander gave strict orders none were to return until we found you."

Jim had irritated Cullen the other day by interrupting a special moment between him and Mia. This detail was punishment for the oblivious man.

"All is well, and by nightfall, you will once again be in the Commander's good graces."

"Maker, I hope so! Most of them will continue on toward the Basecamp, but we can return immediately to Skyhold."

The rest of the group finally reached the boulder and cleared the snow near it, creating a grade easily walked down. A scout rode forward leading Rascal and held out the reigns to Solas. He explained that the Hart had refused to be led, or ridden, so Dennett had only sent the paint.

"It looks like we are riding together back to Skyhold." Cara kissed Solas' cheek and slipped into the saddle. He slid in behind her and hauled her tightly against his chest.

"There is a cabin four miles to the east," Cara informed the scout. "If you can't reach the Basecamp tonight, it will provide adequate shelter for you."

"Thank you, I'm glad your safe."

"Safe travels, Charter," Cara said.

Cara tried to take the reins from Solas, but he simply curled his hands around hers. "Your hands are frozen," he whispered against her cheek.

A flush of warmth radiated from him and washed over her. She sighed at the sensation and snuggled against him.

"Not anymore," she said.

He didn't miss the tremor in response to his voice. The light scent of lavender, vanilla and the hint of brandy on her breath teased him as they rode toward Skyhold. As did the beating of her heart, which matched his own. He found himself intoxicated by her presence. She overwhelmed his senses

* * *

Remus dashed after a rabbit, drawing every ones’ attention. When it began to outsmart him, he turned to her with a yelp. With a sigh, she froze it. She expected him to wander off and eat, she knew he was hungry. Instead, he simply broke the ice free and carried it back to the Keep.

She wanted to sink against Solas and sleep. She'd woken in the middle of the night, forcing herself from the Fade. Spirits had been drawn to them as they danced and teased each other. Millennia ago such things were common. Spirits found companionship as often as elves did, during a time when the dreaming and waking worlds were one. Now, even spirits were cautious of their darker kin.

The occasional caress of his hand against her thigh or the flutter of his breath against her ear kept her alert. She was certain they were deliberate. As if he needed to make her more aware of him. She was fully focused on the man. His firm thighs pressed against hers, his arms encircled her, and his hand covered hers, as they both held the reins. When Skyhold came into view she breathed a silent sigh of regret. He would slip back into his mask, play the part for everyone else until they could be alone together once more.

* * *

Remus dashed off to the kennel as soon as they entered the gate. The rabbit he'd caught was a gift. Cara watched him disappear into the building with a slight smile. Remus was nearly four years old, most wolves his age would leave to find their own pack. She had entertained the idea of adopting another hybrid before they found themselves in Thedas. Her brother had tried to talk her into getting Remus fixed, but Cara wanted the wolf to have the option to return to the wild if he chose. A romantic notion but her friend had shown no desire to leave no matter how many chances she gave him.

"I believe our young friend has found a potential mate," Solas' voice was laced with amusement.

"You might be right. He doesn't bring gifts to just anyone. Oh, dear, I hope Mia isn't disappointed at having Mabari/wolf pups."

"If they are half as intelligent, she will be fortunate to have them," Solas said.

Cara slipped from the saddle with his help. "Thank you." She went to take the reins, but one of the stable hands came for Rascal.

Solas slipped off gracefully and let the boy lead the horse away. He slung the strap of her pack over his shoulder along with her bow and waved a hand toward the keep.

"I can take it from here," she said.

"Indulge me; I'm loath to have the moment end so soon," he said.

She nodded and walked toward the keep. Solas fell in beside her and as they went through the door she felt his hand rest against her lower back. Varric looked up as they walked toward him a cautious look on his face.

"Welcome back, Violet. Enjoy your walk?"

"I found it refreshing and informative."

"The weather was unpleasant, but the company made up for it," Solas said. He nodded at Varric and applied pressure against her back.

She had little choice but to continue toward the stairs. He opened the door to the outer balcony overlooking the garden. At her door, she disarmed the ward and then unlocked it. Solas followed her in, crowding her from the doorway as he set her pack inside.

"Thank you, again."

He closed the door behind him. "Would join me for dinner?"

She bit her lower lip. "I'm expected in the Main Hall tonight."

"The nobles have been quick to accept you into their ranks."

She gave him a wide smile. "It's surprising how quickly a pretty face and voice make even an elf welcome. Since Denerim, word spread I had joined the Inquisition. It's all at Leliana's insistence, I'm sure."

"Yes, many have discussed your success in Denerim." He leaned against the closed door then straightened and his hand gently lifted her chin. "Join me in the Archive after?"

Cara found it hard to concentrate on the question he'd asked. His lips were too close, and she remembered the soft fullness of them against her own. He smiled and traced his thumb along her bottom lip. She resisted the urge to follow the movement with her tongue.

"I --- yes, of course. As soon as I can break away."

"I have something to show you." His eyes were fixated on her mouth.

The heat of his fingertips against her jaw and the feather-light touch of his thumb on her lower lip pushed any thought of response aside. He had teased her senses on the ride back to Skyhold. She took a half breath when he leaned closer. His hand slowly caressed along her jaw until his fingers curled into her hair. His thumb rested on her chin. But, it wasn't until her tongue darted out in response to the lack of touch, did he lean in and kiss her. She sighed against his mouth and grasped his tunic to steady herself as her knees grew weak. His kiss was gentle, yet possessive. He coaxed open her mouth with slight pressure to her chin and brushed his tongue passed her lips to claim hers.

A scratch at the door pulled them back to the present. "That scamp," she said. "He needs to decide if he wants us alone or not."

"I should go, there is much research to do." He kissed her once more. "Ar lath ma, vhenan."

The door shut behind him and Cara turned to Remus. "Your timing stinks, ya know that?"

Remus sneezed, showing his amusement.

"Fine, I will remember that when you want to visit the kennels. I'll make sure you don't go alone."

Remus whined and flattened himself to the floor, placing his paws over his head.


	31. A Friend in Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited New version is complete! I apologize for the long wait. I started a new job in December and only recently found the desire to write again.
> 
> Most of this chapter is new. There is a different version of the original end of this chapter. 
> 
> Just when things seem to be going her way, a tragic event threatens her relationship with Solas. Even her budding friendship with Fenris is threatened when he suspects the two elves are hiding something.

The evening's entertainment drug on. Cara tried to focus on the Baroness, but she'd lost track of the events long ago, and now was hopelessly lost to the conversation. She caught Josie's attention from across the room. She'd intercepted a message dropped by one of the attending noble's manservant. When he dropped it near her she had simply collected it discreetly. But as the evening drew on she noticed the agitation of the Lord he attended.

"Please excuse, Violet, Baroness. I request her services," Josephine said coming to her rescue.

"I'm sorry, my mind is elsewhere tonight." Cara had been fine until Solas had wandered through the Hall and took the stairs to the lower level.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"It is, I'm meeting Solas after."

"The two of you have become close." Josie smiled. "I'm not at all surprised, he seemed taken with you from the beginning."

Cara felt her cheeks warm. “Perhaps, it's silly to begin a relationship in the midst of such turmoil."

"Love doesn't wait for convenience," she said, a regretful smile on her face.

"No, it often has the worst timing ever." Cara straightened as a noble woman drew close. "You needed me for something, my Lady?"

Josie removed a bangle from her wrist. "I fear I nearly caught this on my gown, please drop it off in my office."

"At once, my Lady." Cara curtsied and left the room.

She crossed to Josie's desk and placed the bangle in the center of it, the note she had intercepted earlier she placed where one of Leliana's spies would find it. The information found would leave the Lord little choice but to ally with the Inquisition. With her services no longer required, Cara was free to meet with Solas.

She slipped quickly down the stairs, her slippers made no noise on the granite stair. The hall below was used by Mia to meet with her companions once a week. Other times formal dinners held to woo allies and nobles contemplating an alliance with the Inquisition. With the events taking place in the main hall, the room was empty. Only the flickering candles cast shadows on the walls.

Servants spoke quietly in the neighboring kitchen, but the lower hall was silent. Feeling certain she hadn't been followed or observed, she crossed to the archive library.

The room was free of cobwebs and spiders, but few dared to venture into the dark room. Looking over her shoulder one last time, she pushed open the door. Solas looked up from his book and straightened in the chair.

He gave her a warm smile and set the book on the desk. "I didn't expect you for another hour."

"Josie took pity on me and let me escape early," she said. "The evening has been rather dull. Though, without Sera causing a ruckus, most of the dinners have been rather dull."

Solas chuckled and took her hand. Cara needed no encouragement to move closer to him and slipped her fingers between his, sliding the other hand around his waist.

"I thought you gave me the grand Fade tour of Skyhold months ago?"

He chuckled and embraced her a moment. "Somethings must be seen differently to understand." He looked at the door behind her. "Were you followed?"

"I don't think so. The stairs were empty, so was the Hall, and I didn't see or hear anyone before I entered the room."

With a nod, he turned to the desk and held his hand out. Magical energy flowed easily from his fingertips, and the desk slid away from them, revealing steps winding downward into the dark.

"Clever, I'm surprised the previous occupant didn't figure that out."

"Why suspect a hidden room at the bottom floor?"

Cara grinned at him. "I've seen Skyhold, there are many unexplained areas. Steps lead from the lower courtyard to the kitchen, yet there is nothing below them? Stairs lead downward from the main hall, seen from Mia's quarters, but not accessible? No one notices, or questions these things?" She shook her head. "Someone should have noticed, I can't be the only one."

"It is easy enough to deter exploration when the experts suggest the area is unstable or has been filled in to support the Keep." He motioned to the stairs. He reached for a candlestick from the desk. "Shall we?"

Cara nodded eagerly and Solas began the descent, pulling her behind him. 

 

* * *

 

The candles flickered in the drafty room. The height of them showed he had read for more than an hour. Fenris closed the book and stretched as he stood to place it back on the shelf. He'd not read as much as he'd hoped, but he had a new list of words for Varric to explain to him.

Few seemed brave enough to enter, despite the plethora of rare books the ceiling high shelves held. Many of the tomes were ages old, protected by simple enchantment spells they appeared to have been recently bound. He recognized some of the titles as coveted books, or those banned in Orlais and Tevinter. Titles his now dead master would have paid a fortune to possess.

He found the quiet of the lower library perfect for reading. Unlike the upper library, where many chose to spend their time, he hadn't found it an optimal place for reading. There were too many distractions and interruptions. Instead, he chose the upper library for gossip, and to eavesdrop on reports or assignments given through Lady Nightingale above.

He left it as he found it and went to the wine cellar. The Inquisition had acquired a stash of rare and vintage bottles from all over Thedas, but he sought the cache of Aggregio Varric mentioned. He still found irony in drinking wine once forbidden to him. A perverse satisfaction of the memory of the death of Danarius curled his lips into a feral grin. He may not be free in Tevinter, but here he was equal to all companions of the Inner Circle. He would enjoy all the benefits such a position provided.

He stepped into the wine cellar and his lyrium markings began to glow in reaction to nearby magical energy. The faint trace of magic would have gone unnoticed by most. The stones of Skyhold held magic from ages past, absorbed much of it, and created a protective spell over the entire keep. He'd learned to ignore the magic that permeated the stones, but this was recent and unexpected.

He stepped into the hall staying out of sight in case of a threat to the keep and heard the library door open. He'd heard no one on the stairs and no servants had left the kitchen behind him. He gaped as he saw the bald head of Solas come into view, tugging Carina behind him. A bemused smile on her kiss-swollen lips. He held back a chuckle at catching them after a lovers' tryst, and then he realized they had left the very room he had recently vacated. Carina stifled a giggle as she and Solas took the stairs to the Main Hall above.

He silently returned to the library but found nothing out of place. The room was as he had left it. Had they entered and changed their minds? The faint scent of cherry blossoms and vanilla seemed to begin in the center of the room and trail outward becoming stronger near the door. They had come from somewhere within the room.

He searched through the shelves, seeking a hidden switch. Finding none he moved to the desk. If there was a switch to activate a secret entrance, it was perfectly hidden. His lip curled in disgust. "Magic." The faint energy must have come from one of the mages sealing the passage.

The door above clicked shut and he crept to the bottom of the stairs, finding the stairwell empty he used the lyrium to surge up the stairs in seconds. He watched as they entered the stairwell across the hall heading to the upper floor and followed once the door above closed behind them. He waited, listening for voices, expecting them to settle into the loft, but heard another door close. They had exited to the balcony overlooking the garden. Both elves had rooms there and all doors were shut when he stepped out.

His lips curled again in a snarl. No mage could be trusted. The two were hiding something. The Inquisitor was young and ignorant of the evils of men. She was far too trusting. It was up to him to find the truth and ensure the organization working to save the world wasn't undermined by personal agendas.

 

* * *

 

Cara jolted up in bed. The howl from the Fade still echoed in her ears. "Wisdom." She shivered, how could she have forgotten the fate of Solas' dearest and oldest friend?

Pulling on a robe, she moved to the fireplace and put another log on.

Remus lifted his head and whined.

"Just a bad dream." She rubbed her arms with her hands, pushing away the feeling of dread. She knew the outcome of events to come. She nearly went to him but knew he would come to her if he wanted her help. Instead, she began to pack for the upcoming trip. Whether he wanted her there or not, she intended to join Mia and assist in any way possible.

She finished gathering her gear and went to her loft. She intended to watch the sun come up, and gather strength for the coming day. Stepping through the door she found Fenris leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. She stifled a gasp and noticed he was asleep. His body supported in the corner, his chin tucked against his chest. She found it peculiar, but then Fenris hadn't exactly fit the expectations she had of him.

Remus woofed, and the elf startled awake. His hands formed fists and his markings glowed faintly.

"A rather uncomfortable place to sleep, is your room not to your liking?"

The tips of his ears and cheeks darkened. Had Leliana asked him to keep watch over the garden at night? She wouldn't tell anyone he'd fallen asleep at his post. Mia had proclaimed the area off limits from sunset to sunup but a few brave souls still snuck in for a lover’s tryst on occasion.

"My room is fine, mage."

She arched a brow at his apparent disgust but shrugged her shoulders. She hadn't expected such hostility for choosing to continue a relationship she had been in long before she had met him.

"Alright then. I will leave you to your -- er -- nap."

A snort was his only response, but she felt the heat of his gaze itch between her shoulder blades. She could feel the animosity role off him. What had changed since the last time they had spoken? He'd been disappointed but said he understood. She had even been hopeful the two of them would become friends eventually.

Instead of stopping at her loft, she chose to walk with Remus toward the stable and kennel. She suddenly didn't wish to be anywhere near the hostile elf unless there were more people around.

 Voices reached her as she passed the Atrium. She was surprised to find Solas speaking with Mia.

"Cara, I'm glad you're here," Mia said.

"You're both up early, what's wrong?"

"I didn't wish to wake you," Solas began, "a friend of mine has been taken by mages."

"His friend is a spirit." Mia shook her head. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around Cole being a spirit."

"Not all spirits are dangerous. Some wish only to help, asking for nothing in return," Cara said.

"Do you think you can find them, Solas?" Mia asked.

"I believe with Cole's help, I can."

"Then get with Cullen and mark the location, we will prepare to leave. We can be ready in a few hours." Mia headed for the door then turned back to Solas. "We will help your friend if we can."

"Thank you, Inquisitor."

Remus followed Mia out the door. Cara began to follow. He hadn't asked her for help, hadn't even told her he was awake. She felt a stab of jealousy. She'd thought he trusted her. Hadn't he just shown her the secrets of Skyhold? A warm hand gripped her elbow.

"Ir abelas, I didn't want to disturb you."

"You could have, no, you should have. I heard you in the Fade, felt your pain. I expected you to come to me." Her eyes stung with tears as she fought the ache his rejection caused. "You have to decide if you face everything alone or not. I won't push you to include me." She stepped away, needing to get control of her emotions. "Remus is waiting for me, and you need to see Cullen so we can leave to save her."

She entered the hall to find Mia talking with Varric and Fenris.

"Morning, Violet."

"Morning, Varric. I didn't expect you up so early."

"Mornings are when I get my writing done, fewer distractions. At least, usually."

"Fenris has volunteered to join us. I intend to ask Dorian and Maxwell once they wake up."

Cara felt a shiver of fear at the fierce expression on his face. If he was angry with her and Solas, why offer to help them?

"I'm surprised, given the mission."

"I intend to protect the Inquisitor. No matter what may threaten her."

Cara suppressed a shudder. When had he started thinking of her as a threat to Mia? She smiled and said, "Mia may look innocent and helpless but she's far from it."

Varric chuckled. "I made that mistake myself, then I watched her face down Corypheus and a dragon. Not to mention walk out of an avalanche that took down an army of Templars and a small village."

"We'll be glad to have you along, Fenris. Just remember that on this mission we are deferring to Solas on who may actively help his friend," Mia said. "Cara, he will need a mount, would you mind lending him one of yours?"

Cara contemplated which of the mounts she had acquired that Fenris would find suitable. The thought of a particular beast in the stable brought a wide smile to her face.

"Cupcake doesn't get enough exercise. I bet he would love to leave Skyhold."

Varric spit out a mouthful of cider with a laugh and began a fit of coughing. Mia pounded on his back choking back her own laughter.

"You aren't serious, are you?" Varric asked once he could breathe again.

"You won't find a more spirited horse in the stable," Cara answered.

"Ha! Spirited, that's a good word for him, though a few others come to mind," Varric said.

"I will leave it to you then." Mia left them and headed toward the War Room.

"This I have to see." Varric grabbed his coat and headed toward the door.

 

* * *

 

The stalls at the back were dimly lit. The two creatures who occupied them preferred to hide in the shadows.

Cara grabbed a handful of sugar cubes from the sack and held out her hand. An eerie whinny sounded. She pushed Fenris out of the way just before a sword thrust through the open upper door.

"Behave. He's a friend." Though she had trouble believing it herself.

Cupcake snorted in response and eyed the elf warily while he nibbled up the treats she offered.

Fenris hissed. "That beast is possessed. It's an abomination."

"Possessed yes, an abomination -- I suppose that depends on whether he believes you are friend or foe."

"The Mages Collective sent this as a gift to Mia, but she gave him to Cara since it takes magic to keep the thing from rotting way. He's quite a terror when it comes to combat," Varric said.

"I would sooner see the thing sent to the Void than ride it."

"I know," Cara said, a grin breaking over her face at Varric's laughter.

"She had you going, you should have seen the look on your face." Varric slapped Fenris on the back. Varric hiked a thumb behind him. "That one should make him happy."

"I thought the same thing."

Fenris eyed her a moment before a corner of his mouth twitched up. He looked back at the possessed horse. "Spirited." He chuckled and shook his head. "The sword is a nice touch, though. Does it know how to use it?"

"He uses it like a deer would use its antlers." She pulled an apple from her pocket. "Come say hello." She held it firmly, not letting the long tongue steal it from her, forcing the creature to step into the light. "Mia thought Lord Dorian would like this one, but he says he's allergic to anything with scales. Hello, handsome, did you miss me?"

The creature pushed his head into her outstretched hand his eyes rotating to see the man behind her.

"A dracolisk!" Fenris said coming closer, his hand outstretched. "I haven't seen one since I left Tevinter, and never this close."

The Hunter Shade eyed him a moment and then sniffed his hand. He let out a garbled purr, and it let Fenris touch him.

"He likes you. He doesn't usually accept people so easily. So, is Cupcake going to join us?" she asked with a smirk.

He snorted. "I think I will let braver souls ride him. The Hunter Shade will suit me. Has anyone ridden him?"

"I have. He's spirited but manageable. Better behaved than Rascal. I think you'll be fine with him. He usually tries to take a hand from those he doesn't respect. He's a bit temperamental."

"Temperamental. Hawke would say we were well suited." Fenris grinned and rubbed the Hunter Shades nose. "Does it have a name?"

"Consider him a gift. Name him whatever you like."

Fenris was quiet a moment. "What is elven for revenge?" he asked.

"Nan. Or Shem'nan. It means swift revenge."

He nodded. "That will be his name, Shem'nan." He smiled at her a moment before turning serious again. "Thank you."

She shrugged. "I have more than I can ride. It's not fair to Shem'nan to sit in the stables all the time. I'm just glad he has an owner who will appreciate him."

Varric arched a brow at the cold way Fenris treated her. She shook her head slightly and Varric pinched his lips together. She had hoped Fenris had confided in his friend the reason he suddenly seemed to dislike her, but he was just as confused as she was. She excused herself and went in search of Remus. She wanted him to join them. If Solas left her behind, she wanted a friend by her side.


	32. All New Faded For Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas' friend is in trouble. Mia and the gang race to the Exalted Plains to rescue them.
> 
> Warning: Canon Divergence. 
> 
> New Version posted 5/8/2017

They arrived in the Exalted Plains in just under two days. Mia chose to make haste, stopping only to rest their mounts, but Cara feared they wouldn't arrive in time. She questioned her purpose in Thedas. So far, no matter what she did, nothing changed. She didn't know spirits as well as Solas, if he couldn't save Wisdom before, what could she do? To comfort Solas, tell him Wisdom would be alright was only a false hope.

Mia met with Scout Harding upon entering the camp on the outskirts. Cara knew the report without needing to hear it again. Soldiers who had deserted the armies of Grand Duke Gaspard and Empress Celene threatened the stability in the area. They called themselves Freemen and were causing trouble throughout the Dales. Using the chaos to force those who lived in the area out, so they could claim the land for themselves.

Cara found a quiet spot at the edge of camp and opened her journal. Something about the place felt familiar to her. The area was still rich in elvhen history. Remnants of the past survived in the archways and stone statues. Though, not even Cara could see the true beauty that once was, in the desecration left behind.

Once, the area belonged to the elves. Freed from slavery through their alliance with Andraste they made the long and difficult journey to the second homeland of the great Elvhen. They isolated themselves from humans, until tension between the two brought war. The second home of Elvhenan fell to the blade just like the first.

Humans, once again, forced elves to submit and live as servants. Many retreated into the Emerald Graves where they took their final stand. The few dozen noble houses who survived scattered and became the Dalish clans.

She tried to picture it as it once was, but the toll of war lay heavy upon the land. Fire ravaged homes replaced the once lush valley and forest. The rich soil, void of nutrients, turned to dust. Only scattered plant life clung tenaciously; trying to reclaim the emptiness. In another few decades it might recover, if given the chance to rest.

Remus lifted his head, a soft growl of warning sounded low in his throat. Cara found Fenris walking toward her. She placed a hand on Remus' back to calm him.

"He doesn't like me much."

"Have you given him a reason to trust you?" She waited for him to say something, but he simply studied her. Frustrated with his silent scrutiny she asked, "did you need something?"

"What do you know of this place?" He gestured to the elven arches past the statues of the Chantry.

She cocked her head to the side, her turn to watch him, trying to discern if his interest was genuine, or held a deeper purpose.

"Only what history tells us. After the war with Teventer, elves were granted the Dales. This area stretching to the Emprise Du Lion, including the Emerald Graves were a reward for their aid in the fight. They lived in seclusion, distrustful of humans and their motives. Having escaped oppression, they were loath to accept censure of any kind of their beliefs or traditions. They turned from Andraste's teachings and the Maker."

"When the second Blight ravaged the land, they ignored the plight of the world outside, refusing to aid those they once called brothers. Tension grew between both sides until the massacre of Red Crossing. No one is sure who struck the first blow, but it was the final catalyst, bringing the Exalted March which ended the budding Elvhen Empire."

"I'm surprised you didn't favor elves with your tale."

"Why? Must I choose elves because of my pointed ears?"

He arched a brow. "Even city elves blame humans for the March. They wished only to take the Dales for themselves. It was, after all the Orlesian Chantry, and the Emperor claimed Halmshiral as his own."

Cara shook her head. "So much of history is lost to the ages. Tales are told from a single side, a biased version where details are embellished, altered, or ignored, depending on their own feelings. I imagine the tales told of you in Teventer vary depending on who tells it. To slaves you're a hero, to Magisters a complication who must be silenced, or made an example of."

He bristled at her observation. "What would you know of such things?"

"I study history and with it people. Few are willing to accept all the facts. They exclude those that make their side appear in the wrong. We may never know the truth behind the March, but I doubt it's as one sided as each claim. The truth lies closer to the middle."

A scout drew near, ending their conversation. "The Inquisitor is ready to head out."

"Thank you." Cara stood as the woman saluted and walked away.

"Where does an elf learn to become an historian?" Fenris asked.

"Where does an elf learn anything?" She gave him a cocky smile. "Wherever they can."

The corner of his mouth lifted.

"Is that a smile? Careful or I might start thinking we're friends."

He gave her a wide-eyed look. The tips of his ears darkened slightly.

* * *

Soldiers in nondescript armor attacked them just after they left camp. The final words of one man were for them to stay off the ramparts.

Mia combed through their pockets searching for information. A note on one confirmed they were the Freemen Harding warned them about.

"Stay off the ramparts?" she asked.

"I was never good at doing what other people wanted," Dorian said.

"The ramparts sound like fun." Cara grinned at Mia. "It's been a week since we've fought undead, demons, or Venatori."

"You're making me homesick," Dorian said.

Fenris snorted.

"Since they insisted we not, we must," Mia added.

The first fortification they came to seemed all but abandoned; until they found a soldier surrounded by undead and demons. The team quickly dispatched the threat and Mia left Maxwell, Iron Bull, Cassandra, and Varric, to guard the garrison. Solas and Cara cautioned them not to enter the abandoned fort until they returned. The spell drawing spirits to the dead clung in the air. A welcoming beacon to demons. Promising to return soon, Mia led them west.

They hadn't traveled far before they found two Dalish hunters with a single aravel. Before they could speak with them, undead warriors rose from the soft dirt.

"Fenedhis!" Fenris leapt from Shem'nan toward the nearest one, severing its head with one swing of his sword. The battle was over before Cara's barriers dispersed.

"The dead should stay dead, wouldn't you say, friend," the Dalish scout said.

"Seems to be a lot of trouble in these parts," Mia said.

"That's putting it mildly. The war has stopped but now the dead are walking. Funny though, I've been watching these undead and they seem - focused on the shem armies. As if, well - Why wouldn't someone want to kill humans, uh? Still, poor fools," the hunter said.

"Is your clan nearby?" Cara asked.

"To the west across the river. The armies have caused ruts in the road to slow supplies, making travel through the Dirth difficult. We are seeking safe passage. My name is Olafin, if you would let our Keeper know we are still searching, I would be grateful."

"Ma nuvenan, lethallin. I will pass on your message," Cara said.

"Dareth shiral," Olafin said.

Mia continued toward the river, the anchor drew her to another rift. Once closed Cara felt a shift in the air. A feeling of peace settled over the area. On the distance the stone wolf guardian overlooked the fall, and the river below. She knew not all wolf statues were depictions of Fen'Harel. They represented safety, a reminder someone watched over them. Still, this one brought a sense of peace to her as she studied it.

She found Solas watching her. Instead of concern for Wisdom, she saw desire. Her cheeks warmed and her gaze fell to his lips, recalling the kiss they shared in Skyhold.

"Let's find the Dalish," Mia said interrupting her thoughts, "and then find the mages binding spirits."

Recalling Wisdom's danger sobered her mood. Solas would find an excuse to retreat once more. She wasn't heartless. Cara knew what it felt like to lose someone close, but Solas wrapped himself in a cloak of guilt, Wisdom's death would be another layer upon so many. She felt powerless to help him. Or was she? She looked at her companions. Only one with them would protest her scheme as madness, and she felt confident she could trick him.

They pressed on. Following the river and found the Dalish nestled into a recession in the hill; trees and boulders on three sides offered privacy and protection. The river at the front provided fresh water for elves and halla. Their Keeper stepped out to meet them. A cautious look on his face as he held his staff tightly, ready for any threat. He eyed the group, his gaze resting on Cara, he spoke in elven.

"Anderan atishan. Garas quenathra, lethallan?" he said.

"Vir garas las halani, Hahren," Cara answered.

"Your elven is nearly perfect, da'len."

"Only nearly? I shall have to practice more." If only the man knew how different his own elven sounded to her. "Olafin sent us with word. He still seeks safe passage through the Dirth."

"With all the trouble in the area I thought perhaps the Inquisition could be of assistance," Mia said.

He studied them a moment. "Perhaps, there is something you can do for us," Keeper Hawen said.

Keeper Hawen told them of the demons and unrest threatening a sacred place they called Val Bellanaris. The Veil was thin, in and around sacred burial grounds. The increased fighting and rifts in the area made things worse. Mia agreed to help them.

"Tread lightly and mind the dead," Keeper Hawen said as they left camp.

"Why is it always demons?" Mia asked.

"It must be Tuesday," Cara said.

Fenris chuckled. "It feels like Tuesday."

Mia's expression grew serious. "We will help Solas' friend first, then the elvhen site, and after, deal with the undead."

"Thank you, Inquisitor." Solas gave Mia a nod.

They crossed the river toward where the trail for Wisdom began. At the ruin Cara stopped and dismounted, untying her pack from the saddle.

"Why are you stopping?" Mia asked.

"We are not far from where my friend was summoned," Solas said. Cara noted the catch in his voice.

"Everything here is blurry, it wants to forget but the rocks are solid," Cole said.

"I have a plan to save Wisdom." Cara bit the inside of her cheek. She didn't dare try with Cassandra around, but with the Seeker miles away the ghost of an idea grew since the rift at the river. She wondered since the first time she played the game if they could have done more? Now given the opportunity, she would try anything.

"That's why we must hurry." Mia furrowed her brow in confusion. "What am I missing?"

"Wisdom is a spirit. Nearly three days ago they were drawn from the Fade against their will. I didn't get the impression we were dealing with experts, and I fear Wisdom is in more danger than you realize." Cara leveled her gaze on Solas. She had to tell him as much as she could without explaining to the others how she knew.

"How do you know this, mage?" Fenris asked.

"Carina is a seer. She has shared more than one vision with the Inquisitor," Solas answered. "As a seer, she understands spirits in a way most mages never will."

"You trust these mages too much, Inquisitor." Fenris crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.

"Solas saved my life, more than once. Cara has risked her own more than a few times to see other people safe. I trust them because they have shown themselves trustworthy. You, on the other hand, have yet to endear yourself to me. Attacking my companions isn't the wisest course of action." Mia stood, feet shoulder width apart, hands loose at her side, but Cara knew she was anything but relaxed. In a fluid motion, she could have daggers drawn and pressed against a throat before the other person could blink in reaction.

"Hawke is a mage, you trust him with your life," Cara said.

"He has shown himself trustworthy." A flash of surprise flickered in his eyes and he dropped his arms. "Why does it matter?"

"Mia saved my life. Something she didn't have to do. She also took me in and gave me a chance to prove myself. She could have easily placed me in a cell or turned me out in the cold. It is not something I take lightly. I am not your enemy, any more than I can be hers."

"Why wait until now?" Mia asked.

"I've been thinking of it since we left Skyhold. While we fought the rift at the river the details fell into place."

"You plan to enter the Fade," Dorian said. "Can you do that so quickly?"

"Not physically. If we are in time Wisdom will still need help from the other side if she is to survive. Fenris can stand guard."

"He cannot be trusted." Solas shook his head. "I will not risk you as well."

Cara moved to him, placing a hand on his chest. He covered it with his own. "I will be fine. His honor prevents him from striking without provocation."

"You are still on trial here," Mia leveled her gaze at Fenris. "You chose to stay, to aid us in our cause. If you cannot see past your own hatred then you are of no use to me."

"I will stay with the mage," Fenris said.

"The Inquisitor may have an alliance with Hawke, I do not. If she comes to harm your life is forfeit." Solas glared at Fenris.

"She will come to no harm." Fenris bowed his head. A slight smile turned up the corner of his lips. For a moment, Cara almost thought Solas had impressed him.

"Go, we haven't much time." Cara pushed Solas toward his mount.

As they rode away Cara settled by the fire and pulled out a pouch of herbs. She didn't have time to waste meditating herself into a trance. Fenris settled beside her.

"You should stand with Remus and Hanin, out of the smoke."

"I've seen the spell before. I'm going with you."

She shook her head. "It's too risky. I need someone here to protect me."

"Remus and Hanin would fight to the death to see you safe. You don't have time to argue."

"You aren't a mage, I will need to protect you in the Fade." She clenched her jaw and stared him down, but he stayed beside her. He was right about one thing; she was short on time. "Ugh! You are a stubborn ass. Fine, just - don't touch anything or speak to anyone." She took a handful of herbs from the pouch. "The Fade is limited only by your own imagination. Give me your hand."

He hesitated.

"Then get out of range of the smoke. It links us. If anything goes wrong, the spell will wake us both."

He held out his hand and she grasped it as she tossed the herbs into the fire. She mumbled the elvhen spell and took a deep breath of the acrid smoke.

* * *

The world around them shifted. The smoke before them no longer grey, but green as it rose and enveloped them. The scent of fresh wildflowers filled the air.

Cara stood, tugging him up. "Come, we need to find them. We can see and hear them but they won't see us."

Her voice seemed to echo in his head as well as the Fade. She pulled him along the grisly path. Cara explained what they saw. The memories of the discoveries Solas and Mia made unfolded around them. With each step, they covered twenty paces and reached the group just moments after they found Wisdom.

_"My Friend!" His usual stoic expression fell a moment at the fate of his friend. He growled with frustration._

"Fenedhis." Fenris spat. "The mages were fools to summon a Pride Demon."

_"I'm sorry, Solas. The mages have turned your friend into a demon," Mia's hands clenched and she pressed her lips together. A thin sheen of moisture glistened on her forehead as she eyed the demon._

_"Yes, a spirit becomes a demon when denied its purpose," Solas said._

_"So they made it do something so opposed to its nature - fighting?" Mia asked._

_"Let us ask them."_

_A mage crept slowly toward them from the circle. His need to see if their group could help outweighed his fear of the bandits who had harassed them. He asked for lyrium and help fighting the demon they had summoned. He continued to make excuses for their behavior. His mention of being an expert from the Kirkwall circle impressed no one._

_"Cara explained the summoning circle. If we break it, we should be able to free your friend," Mia said._

Fenris frowned at Cara and shook his head. "The demon will turn on them when the first stone falls."

"Once they break the binding Wisdom is released from its conflict. No more demon."

Fenris clenched his jaw, he studied the circle of stones through narrowed eyes.

"The spirit is a slave to their bidding. But in their ignorance, they have created a monster. If we can free it, the spirit should return to its true form," Cara said.

_"I know more of spirits than anyone," the mage began._

_"Shut up!" Solas cut him off, his tone curt and cold. "Inquisitor, please."_

_"We will help your friend, Solas," Mia gave a curt nod. Her shoulders were tense. Mia rolled them a few times after removing her daggers from their sheaths._

_"Thank you," Solas said. "Focus your attacks on the stones. I will draw its attention as much as I can."_

Fenris wished to help. His hands itched to hold his sword and stand with those who fought. Mia struck at the pillar of stones closest to her. Wisdom lashed out with a whip of lightning. Solas moved between them to shield Mia, the flicker of pain in his face as it struck him. The act of selflessness the mage showed surprised him.

"I've traveled far to aid you. What favor do you seek?" A voice rang out behind them.

"Command, you came!" Cara sounded relieved to see the creature.

"Demon," Fenris growled out.

"Command is a friend. You met them in Crestwood when we told them of Rage's demise."

He eyed Command. One wrong move and he would strike them down.

"Ah, the angry one." Command's voice held a note of humor. "His rage puts a demon's wrath to shame. An unlikely ally, he wishes you ill."

"I know his thoughts." Cara shrugged at his indignant gasp. "Here you can hide nothing." She smiled. "In time, you may feel differently."

He felt his skin crawl realizing she could read him so easily. What manner of mage was she? Did a seer possess the ability to read thoughts of anyone they wished?

Command chuckled. "You bait him intentionally."

Cara sighed. "Only a little. We haven't much time. Once they break the last pillar Wisdom will return."

"They are weak. They will likely not survive." Command's voice held a note of sadness.

"If she does, I ask that you see to her safety. She will be vulnerable for a time."

"I am no babysitter," Command snapped.

"You needn't watch her. Aren't there spirits you can task with the job?"

"I thought you planned to create a haven for the spirit?" Fenris asked.

"As a last resort only. Such a spell would require me to stay in the Fade until she could defend herself. Command can control the fade. With a word spirits must do their bidding." Cara turned to Command. "She will need the aid of Strength to recover."

"Strength, come forward!" Command spoke into the void and a spirit appeared. "Purpose, Determination, I command you to obey me!"

Cara still held Fenris' hand. He hissed at the sudden caress of magic and his lyrium tattoos glowed.

"Relax, it's a barrier to protect you, nothing more." She released his hand. "Look, the fight is over."

_"Lethallin, ir abelas," Solas said._

_"Tel'abelas. Enasal. Ir tel'him. Ma melava halani. Ma ghilana mir din'an. Mala suledin nadas."_

_"Ma nuvenan." Solas' voice was quiet and filled with remorse._

_Solas opened a connection to the Fade, and with a slight wave of his hands._

At the first hint of a tear Cara was ready. She cast her spell enveloping the spirit as it came through.

"Ma ghilana mir din'an," Wisdom whispered.

"No, your time has not yet come." Cara cast the rune around Wisdom. At each point of the triangle a spirit stood. A white thread of energy created a link between the three spirits and Cara. She stepped into the center and placed her hands on Wisdom.

"Ir enasal, ma tel'ghilana, tel'din'an." Drawing from the three spirits she channeled the spell into Wisdom. The spirit wept. A soft glow surrounded them. "May you be a guide to those in need for many years, falon."

She returned to his side. Her expression weary, her mana severely depleted.

The three spirits supported the forth and slipped into the shadows.

"You should have taken more from the spirits," Command told her.

"Wisdom will recover, but she will still need protection. If depleted, they would also be at risk."

He hadn't expected her to show consideration to spirits. Nor did he expect the kindness and patience she continued to show him.

"What manner of spell was that?" he asked. Anders knew a similar spell. Could any mage learn it, or did it require possession?

"A resurrection spell." She cocked her head a moment. "It can't return someone from the dead, but with enough power channeled it can bring someone from the brink of death."

"How is it you can read my thoughts?"

"A part of the link. If you concentrate you can hear mine as well. _The words which echo in your mind are my thoughts._ " She hadn't spoken out loud the last part.

"I can make him forget if you wish," Command said.

He felt a chill crawl up his spine.

Cara shook her head. "No, I trust him."

"You place your trust foolishly. Farewell, falon." Command disappeared into the shadows.

_"You think I'm wrong to trust you?"_ Her words echoed in his mind.

Fenris snarled.

"Fine," She waved a hand, and a barrier settle over him. This one different from others she cast. The whispers in the Fade stopped. "Your thoughts are your own again."

"Why not use them against me?"

"Trust isn't earned through coercion."

Fenris looked around them, they were back at the ruin. He wondered if they ever left it, or if he merely imagined the journey. His trip into the Fade with Hawke had been far different. He'd been tempted and betrayed his friend. Cara pushed and made him question what he knew, but she also protected him.

"I will reserve judgement for now. I saw only strange magic. None of which involved possession or blood magic."

"Thank you. The others will return soon. We should 'wake up'."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wished there was more the Inquisitor could have done to save Wisdom. Maybe if they could have opened a rift and escorted them physically into the Fade it would have a chance, though a very slim one. I also wondered why Solas didn't just use a resurrection spell from the spirit tree on them. If a spirit can't really die then why didn't they have enough 'life' left in them for him to give them a boost? Which is where my idea came from.


	33. Dirthavaren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay! The new chapter version is finally here! I hope you all are as happy to see it as I am to have it finally ready to post! Lots of changes considering the events of the last chapter this one was written over completely. Updated 7-17-2017 (For those of you who missed it, I did some major plot changes with the story starting with chapter 27 in October 2016, I hope most of you have been able to read thee new versions and are caught up, but in case some aren't this is a PSA to go back to 27 and breeze through them before continuing)
> 
> After saving Wisdom Cara realizes what Fenris's recent anger toward her is about.

Solas bid Wisdom farewell as they slipped into the Fade. His friend was very weak, their chance of survival was slim even with Carina’s help from within the Fade. Carina would do all she could, but could she restore Wisdom’s strength enough for them to remain whole, or would they become something new?

“I hope we were in time, Solas. I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.”

“You did all you could, for that I am grateful. Now all that remains are the mages.”

“Please, we didn’t know.”

“I doubt Cullen would welcome them after what they’ve done, despite our alliance with the mages.” Mia turned to the mage. “You do remember the punishment for summoning demons, do you not?”

The mage held up his hands, his face frozen in fear.

“Leave them to fend for themselves. If I find my friend well, they need fear nothing of me.” If not, he would hunt them in their dreams.

The mage swallowed loudly, regaining some of his composure. “There are bandits and demons everywhere, what will we do?”

“Not my concern. I came to aid a friend, you are lucky to leave here alive.” The Inquisitor crossed her arms over her chest. “If I take you to Skyhold it will be to face judgement. The sentence for summoning demons is death or tranquility. I say you’re getting off easy.”

“Th-thank you.” The mage stuttered, stepping back with the others. They gathered what was left of their belongings and fled.

“Thank you, Inquisitor.” Solas gave her a grateful smile. “Let us return with haste, I am anxious to learn what transpired.”

“Remind me never to try something like that.” Dorian waved a hand at the collapsed circle of stones.

“Cara would be angry. It would upset her if you did.” Cole stared at the rocks. “I’m glad we helped. She was sad at the end, but happy we helped her.”

Solas stepped easily into the saddle and turned his Hart back to the ruins. They needed no encouragement to return. His steed loved Cara as much as her own Hart.

* * *

Fenris woke to thundering hooves drawing closer. Carina sat before the fire, still entranced in the spell she cast. He watched her a moment. He expected her to wake with him. He knew little about dreamers. The boy Feynriel was his only close encounter before now. To wake him, Hawke needed to find him in the Fade, convince him he was only dreaming. The spell Cara cast taxed her strength, but he believed she was well when he left the Fade.

He stood and nodded to the others as they dismounted. The lines of concern on Solas’ brow created a lump in the pit of his stomach. Was there reason to be concerned for her after all?

“I wasn’t certain I should try to wake her. She sent me from the Fade moments ago, I expected her to wake with me.”

“You entered the Fade?” Solas’ expression twisted into a snarl. “I knew you were stubborn, but not foolish.”

“Your friend is safe.” Fenris pointed at Cara. “She was safe and well when she sent me from the Fade.” The worry etched in Solas’ face kept the contempt out of his own voice.

Solas crossed the ruin to her side. The caress of magic filled the space around them. Fenris clenched his fists at the press of magic against his skin.

Her eyes fluttered under her lids before slowly opening them. She blinked as her eyes grew accustomed to the brightness. The tension in his shoulders eased with her reassuring smile.

Solas’ posture relaxed, his expression softened, and he caressed a hand over her cheek.

“Wisdom is weak, but they will likely survive. Command agreed to watch over her care.”

“Command? The spirit from Crestwood?” the Inquisitor asked.

“Yes.”

She chuckled. “I can’t imagine that grumpy creature would have a soft spot.”

“Oh, she isn’t helping directly. She is rather good at delegating tasks to those more suited.”

Solas took her hands and brought them to his lips, then pulled her to her feet.

The lump in the pit of Fenris’ stomach wouldn’t ease. Envy gnawed at him at the way her eyes shone with emotion as she gazed at Solas. He turned away, unable to watch their display of affection. What was it about the woman that drew him in?

“Thank you, Vhenan.”

“I’m just glad I could help. I know how dear she is to you.”

“What you did was reckless.” At his angered tone Fenris turned to see Solas grip her shoulders, holding her out from him. For a moment, he thought the man would shake her as a parent does a disobedient child. He stepped forward on instinct.

She thrust up her chin. “I did what needed to be done. I won’t apologize. If I had to I would do it again.” Her eyes glinted with stubborn anger.

“I don’t see how Cara was in more danger than we were,” the Inquisitor said.

“The Fade is ruled by intentions. Allowing Fenris to accompany her put them both in great danger.”

Cara bristled at his statement. “I didn’t allow it by choice.”

“She did not. I insisted she accept my company.” Fenris moved closer. The desire to protect her from Solas’ anger surprised him. “If you wish to be angry, I am to blame.”

“I didn’t have time to argue with him. I couldn’t exactly use force to keep him out when he promised to see to my safety.”

“A task he couldn’t perform from within the Fade.” His frown settled on Fenris.

Cara placed a hand on his chest. “Everything is fine.”

“You risked yourself, and Wisdom, taking him with you.” His voice cracked with the emotion he felt. “You were to watch over her, not endanger her by entering the Fade.”

“Solas --” He voice was weak and strained. All color drained from her face as she swayed on her feet.

“Fenedhis.” Fenris moved to catch her but Solas’ arms tightened around her as she fainted.

* * *

Raised voices roused her. Outside the tent Solas argued with Fenris.

“She is this weak because of you.” Rarely did she hear Solas raise his voice to anyone.

“I apologize, she only said entering was dangerous.”

“Would you have listened had she explained? Or has envy clouded your mind?”

The air next to her stirred. “They both worry. It’s why they fight,” Cole said.

She sighed and shook her head. “I know, but Solas needs to let it go.”

The tent flap opened and Solas stepped through. Cole slipped away stirring the breeze.

His eyes widened. “I didn’t expect you to be awake.”

“I feel stronger. How long did I sleep?”

He sent a wave of magic over her. “Not long enough, your mana stores are still too low. You shouldn’t have put yourself in danger.”

“Wisdom was much weaker than I anticipated. Fenris suspects something. Expending my mana was a calculated decision.”

Solas’ jaw tightened. “Are you certain he suspects you?”

She pursed her lips. “Since we fought the wyverns he’s asked leading questions. The morning they took Wisdom I found him asleep on the balcony. I thought his anger due to being caught asleep at his post.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, recalling the anger in his thoughts while in the Fade. “He insisted on joining me in the Fade to test me. I could have drawn more from the spirits to save Wisdom, but he needed to see me like this.” She tucked her tongue into her cheek. Guilt rolled in her stomach. She’d caused them all to worry in an attempt deceived Fenris. She hated the idea of hiding the truth from him.

Solas relaxed and drew her into his arms as he settled on the bedroll with her. “Next time warn me.”

“Ma nuvenan.”

He brushed back the hair from her cheek. “You should rest, you’re still weak.”

She curled against his chest. “Shouldn’t we help Mia? What of the others waiting at the garrison?”

“Dorian is with her, we left them at the garrison and continued back to camp on the outskirts.”

“Dorian isn’t a healer, what if something happens?”

“Then Cole will know and I will join them. Right now, you are all that matters.”

Her heart leapt in her chest, rarely did Solas put personal matters ahead of duty. “You can’t stay angry at him. His distrust comes from years of abuse at the hands of mages.”

Solas sighed. “Perhaps not, but his anger is misdirected. He is unpredictable and dangerous. Many of our kin acted in kind, striking at all in authority once freed.”

“He needs to know he can trust us.” She bit her jaw. “Though, the longer I am forced to deceive him the less likely I feel that will happen. Berating him for an honest mistake won’t win him to our side.”

“I disagree. He intended to find something to justify his anger.”

Cara nodded. “I know. I heard his thoughts. Give me time, I believe I can earn his trust.”

“He is half in love with you, he may resent that you will never be his.”

Cara bit her lip. The last thing she wanted was to lead Fenris on. “Then you must befriend him.”

Solas tightened his arms around her. “I will try to be kinder.”

“Thank you.” She raised up and kissed his cheek then the corner of his mouth.

He turned to catch her lips. His return kiss was short. “Rest, emma lath.”

* * *

Cara sat in front of the fire, a cup of tea in her hands. Solas and Cole joined the others. Two of their companions needed healing before returning to camp. Fenris paced the edge of camp. She felt bad for deceiving him, but she couldn’t risk him exposing her secret. She hoped in time she could trust him enough to reveal the truth.

Mia and their friends returned to camp. Solas, Varric and Remus were not among them.

“Is everyone alright?” she asked.

“Varric and Solas are hunting dinner. Until trade routes can be restored food stuffs are going to be hard to come by.” Mia plopped down beside her, unceremoniously dumping her gear on the way down. “What about you? You look like you’re feeling better. You had us all worried.”

Guilt at her intentional deception twisted her stomach into knots. “I’m sorry, I had no idea if my plan would work, or how much it would tax my strength.”

Mia placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m glad it worked. Seeing Solas distraught over his friend was heartbreaking.” Mia stretched with a groan.

“Rough day?” Cara handed her a fresh cup of tea.

“Thanks, just long. There are more garrisons to clear. I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s like this everywhere. Though, there are fewer Red Templars than I expected.”

“That’s always a plus.” Cara grinned over her own cup of tea. “I’m sure we will find something equally challenging while we are here.”

Mia groaned then snickered. “There always is.” She let out a loud breath. Are we making progress at all?” She swept a hand out past the camp. “I know this is aside from the Mage conflict, but everywhere we go someone is using the conflict for their own gain.”

“Sadly, this is how things work. Either, someone creates chaos to hide their intentions, or they use it to further their own cause.” That she and Solas intended to do just that increased the guilt she felt. As much as she admired Mia, her choices were for the good of her own people. They were still heavily biased toward humans and her own religious beliefs. When the dust settled, mages would return to circles, templars would return to the Chantry, and elves would still be little better than cattle.

"I wanted to ask earlier, about the spirit we helped. What would have happened?" Mia asked. "If a spirit dies, I mean?"

"It is not the same as with people. Their energy returns to the Fade," she said.

"So, the demons we kill, stop -- they aren't really dead? They could return some day?"

She shook her head. "No, though something of the spirit remains it is shaped by experiences and memories. It would likely not recall anything from its time before. Solas knows more about this, I still have gaps in my memory."

“Do you still not remember where you are from?”

Cara bit the inside of her cheek. Fenris shifted slightly as he eavesdropped on their conversation. She contemplated which lie to tell. She couldn’t tell her the truth, but should she continue to pretend to have forgotten, or spin a tale of a life lived here? She settled for something in between.

“I was in my early teens when I lost my parents. I was raised by my uncle. I remember we traveled a lot and there were soldiers with us most of the time. When I grew older we settled in the country somewhere.”

“Where is your uncle now?”

Cara frowned. “I don’t know. I’ve searched the Fade seeking traces that might lead me to him, but I’ve found nothing.”

“I’m sorry. I still can’t remember what happened when the Breach was created.”

“Sometimes our minds hide traumatic events from us because the memories are too painful.”

“You believe something happened that you don’t want to remember?”

Cara pursed her lips. “No, he was well last I remember seeing him, at least I believe that was the last time I saw him. It’s something else that keeps me from finding him.”

She chose not to lie, not really. The only omission to her tale were the dates the events happened. No one would believe her if she told them. That Solas believed her was only because he had watched some of her own memories in the Fade.

* * *

Fenris remained quiet and sullen even after she accepted his apology. She explained that even without his presence in the Fade she would have been weak after such a feat. Solas also told him the matter was behind them.

Still, he darted shamefaced looks her way as they rode toward Var Bellanaris.

Mia waited until the three elves could join them before clearing the burial ground from demons. Cara doubted either of the men cared other than to rid the world of demons.

“I wonder what has stirred the burial grounds?” Mia asked.

“From time to time the dead grow restless. Death attracts spirits, but I imagine it’s due to the recent war and the spells you found at the garrison,” Solas answered.

At first, Cara wondered if Briala was behind the undead. The way they attacked only the forces of Celene and Gaspard gave her that impression. However, it was the Freemen who attacked, trying to keep them from entering the strongholds throughout the Dirth. She bit the inside of her cheek. It didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Whoever was responsible needed to be stopped.

They drew close enough to see the grand carvings over the entrance. Majestic harts held watch over the dead. Just inside, Rage patrolled the burial ground, other spirits wandered within. With nearly all their companions, the battle was over before their barriers were depleted.

“Well that was fun.” Mia wiped her daggers in the grass before returning them to their sheaths. “Shall we look around or just tell Keeper Hawen the demons are taken care of?”

Cara knew they would find the temple locked. While she wondered what might lie within, she couldn’t bring herself to destroy the graves in search of the key when she played the game. She certainly couldn’t see doing so when those graves were real. She waited, wondering what Mia would do. Would the thought of treasure be too great a temptation? Treasure found on their journeys helped pay for their food and armor during their travels, but Cara preferred her heritage be preserved, not stripped for profit.

Mia wandered through the trees, studying the graves. She asked Cara to translate those written in elvhen. “I think we will leave the shrine alone. I don’t want to destroy the beauty of this place for a bit of treasure.”

Solas arched a brow at Mia, his eyes wide with surprise. Cara didn’t doubt he expected Mia to ransack the shrine. “Thank you, Inquisitor. Such places should remain sacred.”

Mia nodded. “Let’s tell Hawen the demons are taken care of.” Mia moved to the entrance and mounted her horse. “From what I’ve seen, the Dalish require more help than simply clearing sacred burial grounds.”

Remus took the lead. His silverite armor reflected in the sun. He occasionally shook it to hear it jingle. Cara smiled at his antics. When she took him to see Harritt and Dagna she expected him to fight them, instead he seemed proud to have his own set of armor. Dagna enchanted it with some of her best enchantments. The armor would deflect most spells, including offering him protection from the elements.

Without warning Remus raced to their left, away from the Dalish camp they angled for. Cara spurred Hanin to follow. The others protested behind her. The collective howl of wolves sent a chill down her spine. Why did Remus race toward them? Did he long to be part of a pack now? Would he abandon his friend back at Skyhold?

Her answer rushed toward her. The Golden Halla raced ahead of the pack of wolves trying to overtake her. Remus ducked his head as he raced toward them. The halla gracefully leapt over him and he barreled into the lead wolf. The two tumbled into the dirt sending a cloud of dust swirling upward. The other wolves turned their attention from the halla to Remus. He jumped from the dirt, twisting away from the gnashing teeth attempting to injure him.

The halla passed Cara and she cast a barrier around the frightened deer. Cara wanted the halla safe if the wolves got past her. She cast an electric shock through the wolves surrounding Remus. The shock would only stun them, she hoped to avoid killing them if possible. Two of them tucked their tails and ran; three turned their attention to Cara.

She pushed off the saddle and landed gracefully on the ground. The hart snorted and raced away. The wolves only hunted to feed the pack. Though, the Golden Halla was a creature she couldn’t let them have. The only safe place for her was with the Dalish.

Solas’ curse carried on the wind, the sound drifted away rather than closer. Thankful there were less companions to engage the wolves she held her ground as they drew closer.

Mia called to her, but she simply held up a hand.

“Stop. She doesn’t want them killed.” Cole’s voice rang out for the others.

“Fenedhis. Spirits and now wolves; her compassion will be her undoing.”

She cocked a smug smile at the familiar curse from Fenris.

She cast her barrier and waited until the wolves drew close. Then cast a mind blast to push them back. The shock of magic caused them to scatter, confused and shaken. Two turned to retreat, the last stumbled around trying to remember what it had been doing.

Remus stood over the leader, his paw pressing the wolf into the desert sand. His snarl of victory drew the attention of the disoriented wolf and it raced to help its pack member. When it drew close enough to strike, Remus whirled and slashed at its shoulder, leaving a long gash down its leg. The wolf yelped and jumped away, waiting for a chance to strike. The leader slowly rose, a whine in its throat; it surrendered to a dominant wolf. Remus lunged, snapping his jaws inches from the wolf’s throat. Both wolves raced away, tails between their legs.

“Do you know how foolish that was?” Fenris’ voice growled out. She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to his angry chastisements. Why did he feel the need to protect her? Why did that make him angrier? Why did knowing he cared make her heart speed up?

A dust cloud swirled around them as Solas rode up with Hanin. At the hart’s side stood the Golden Halla. Mia merely smiled at her and returned her bow to its place on her saddle.

She gave Solas an apologetic smile. “I didn’t expect everyone to hang back when Remus raced off, though I’m glad they did.” She didn’t mean to worry him more than she had the day before. She hadn’t really thought what she might face when Remus raced off, rarely did the wolf act impulsively. Seeing to his safety was second nature to her, which is why she trained him to wait for a command before engaging in a chase.

“They will only hunt again, you’ve saved no one.” Fenris practically growled his displeasure.

Cara chose her words carefully. How did she make him understand? “Why do hunt slavers?”

“They prey on the weak; like wolves they bully and take what they wish.”

“Do you hunt them to protect the innocent, or simply for your own revenge?”

“What does it matter when they are dead?”

She pinched her lips together and shook her head. Maybe he would never see the difference, but she had to try. He was more like a wolf than he realized.

“The wolves hunted for food. Had it been any other creature than the Golden Halla I would have called Remus off. A wolf hunts to feed its pack, it fights to defend its kin. If you kill only because you deem something evil, how are you better than they are?”

Fenris growled low in his throat but said nothing.

“Do you think the Dalish can help the halla?” Mia pointed at the frightened deer.

The patch of red on the deer’s hind quarter was the reason for her concern. One of the wolves was able to get close enough to lay open her flank with a tooth. A smaller cut near her hoof gave the impression the wolf paid for its attack. The halla might have gotten away from a smaller pack on her own.

“I should try to stop the bleeding first, if she’ll let me.” Cara moved slowly toward it, calling softly. The halla prepared to run until Hanin nudged her neck with gentle reassurance. She stamped her hoof but stood her ground. His unspoken gesture told her she needn’t fear those around her. “Let me help, falon.”

Cara allowed her aura to reach the deer first. Halla, like the hart, seemed to have a special sense when it came to elves. Elves truly in tune with halla found a telepathic link between them and could ‘hear’ their thoughts. She hoped the deer could read her intentions. Tiny twitches and ripples of muscles under her sleek, white, fur showed how nervous she was. Her ears followed every sound, leg muscles tensed; she was ready to run at the first sign of danger.

“That’s it, easy little one.” Reaching her side Cara held out her hand. The halla stamped her foot. Cara found the cut clean, free of hair and dirt. She contemplated cleaning it, but a wrong move and the halla would race away. Stopping the blood flow and sealing the wound was more important. There were always potions and elfroot to deal with any infection she might encounter. With a wave of her hand she sent magic into the wound and knit the torn flesh.

The halla blew out a breath and pressed her nose into Cara’s side.

“Ir abelas, I know it stings.”  
Hanin stretched his neck over the back of the deer, as if to provide support. Trembling, she leaned against him with a sigh. Solas’ hart stamped a foot, Cara couldn't help but chuckle softly at their display of jealousy. Once rivals for her attention, the two harts became friends during the trek from Haven to Skyhold. Mir’Dugan was jealous of the attention Hanin gave the halla.

“That will stop the bleeding and start the healing process, but she will need to rest as much as possible. The Dalish have a halla keeper. I’m sure he would be glad to see to her needs.”

Cara took a sack from Hanin’s saddle. She tossed an apple to each companion for their mounts. She learned early to always take extra. She held one out for the halla. The deer took a small, uncertain bite. No doubt, an apple was a treat, perhaps something never tasted. The halla tossed her head and took the rest, gobbling it up quickly. When it was gone she pushed her head into Car’s side, greedily begging for another.

Warm laughter of her companions mixed with her own. Cara rubbed between the graceful antlers. “Another time, little one. Too many will make you sick and I’m sure the Dalish will want to spoil you.”

“Are you certain the Dalish will tend the halla?” Solas asked.

Cara snorted at his sarcasm. “Why wouldn't they? They treat the halla like family. They won’t abuse an ages old tradition and risk losing halla to pull their aravels.” She smiled sweetly at his sneer. She knew his opinion of the Dalish. She understood his irritation over their lack of knowledge. He simply underestimated their stubbornness. If he approached them as he did everyone else, it’s no wonder they scorned and shunned him. “The distance is too far to take her back to Skyhold, and she’s in danger if we let her run free until fully healed. “

* * *

Keeper Hawen was grateful to them for clearing the ruins, he mentioned four locations throughout the Dirth where they could find runes. The first one was at the bathhouse nearby. Mia mentioned feeling the pull of a rift in that direction and intended to take care of it before she continued to the next garrison hounded by the undead.

Cara spoke with the elves and found the list of supplies they needed. The elfroot, and leather she had on hand. The rest would need to come from the Inquisition’s stockpiles.

For bringing the Golden Halla and clearing Var Bellanaris Hawen invited them to join the clan for the evening meal. He extended to offer to all the Inquisitor's companions. They were welcome to camp with them as well.

Cara found his invitation a refreshing change from the stories told of the wary Dalish clans. Hawen himself showed his distrust when they first arrived. There was still much to do to gain the clan’s favor, but they were already halfway there with the supplies given and promised.

“I’m afraid I am expected back at camp.” Mia turned to Cara. “Perhaps you would like to stay with the Dalish for a few days?”

Solas caught her eye and gave her a stern frown. Cara smiled brightly. “If you can spare us, Solas and I would love to stay with the Dalish for a couple of days.”

Red began to creep into his face and ears. Cara tipped her head and batted her eyes dramatically. He coughed to hide the chuckle her antics teased from his lips. “I’m sure the Inquisitor has need of one healer in her party. If you care to stay, I will return to the field and provide support.”

Mia gave Cara a conspiratorial smile. “Nonsense, you deserve to take a day or two off, Solas. Enjoy a few days rest with Cara. I will return in three days’ time with the supplies needed to repair their aravels.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been having a lot of trouble writing this fic for so long. I think part of it is, I had this idea of how I wanted it to end, but I strayed from it. When Fenris started becoming her LI I still wanted Solas there as well. This month (July 2017) I've been writing for Camp NaNoWrimo and I can't write fast enough to keep up with the words. All because I let the characters have their way, once more. My OTP is becoming an OT3 and I'm okay with it. Now, I may change my mind, but I may not. It isn't the first time I've written something of this fic where the three of them end up together, I just chalked it up to hormones, set it aside and went a different route. I guess this is fair warning this fic is heading in that direction once more, and I and more than half inclined to let it.


	34. The Dalish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Solas spend an evening with the Dalish. While she knows a single encounter won't change his mind, she hopes to plant the seeds of change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All plot changes and new chapter versions are now complete. Chapter 33 was posted on 7-17-2017 for those that may have missed the update since no notifications went out.

Remus sat beside Cara as they watched Mia and their companions head toward the ruined bath near the river. She didn't worry for them, with nearly every companion they would find the battle inconvenient, not challenging.

Remus patiently waited for her to remove is armor. Most of the Dalish watched from a distance, eyeing him warily after she removed his helm.

Hawen's brow furrowed. "A wolf?"

"I found him as a pup four years ago." She ruffed the space between Remus' ears, he licked her cheek.

"Will the children be safe around your, friend?"

Cara smiled. "He loves children."

"For breakfast." A boy around the age of ten leaned down to one barely five. The younger child's eyes grew wide with concern.

"Only disobedient ones," Cara teased.

Laughter broke out among the elves. The smaller child nudged the boy in the side. The older boy's face filled with color.

"He will behave. Won't you?"

Remus huffed an answer. Cara removed the rest of his armor. She ran her hand over him, searching for injuries, but the blood splatter on his armor and fur weren't his.

Solas took his armor. "I will take care of this for you."

She smiled up at him. "Ma serannas."

Remus stretched and shook. Then moved to the river and rolled in the shallows. He shook his fur free of most of the water and found a patch of grass in the sun. He lay down, his head on his paws, intending to nap.

Talk resumed throughout the clan. The snatches of conversation she heard were the excitement over the halla, and generosity of the Inquisition.

Solas spoke with Hawen, who pointed to a large space between the other tents and aravels. He carried some of their gear where Hawen indicated and began to set up their tent.

"Want some help?" she asked him as she set down more of their things.

"If you like. Your improvements to the design reduce the need for another set of hands, but I won't pass on the offer." He unrolled the canvas, and fished out the pole sections.

"Oh, I'm sure someone would have figured it out, eventually. Makes no sense to discard tent poles and scrounge new ones each time." She knelt and started putting sections of poles together. With the two of them working on it, it was up in no time.

"Ghilia, come back!" A woman, round with child, hurried past them. Her steps were labored as she tried to catch up to her curious toddler.

Cara scanned the area, a tiny tot, recently learning to walk, toddled toward Remus. He enjoyed playing with the children in Skyhold, but every parent knows caution is the best advice. She went to help the mother intercept.

"Ghilia, no!"

The child flopped onto Remus' back. He grunted with the impact and turned his head licking the child on the cheek and ear. She squealed, and hugged him, digging her tiny hands into his fur. He rolled, causing her to slide, and she ended up on his stomach.

Her mother let out the breath she held. "Ghilia, be gentle."

Cara stopped beside her. "He adores the little ones. He is more tolerant of them."

"She is a handful, always finding something new to explore." Her hand settled under the swell of her stomach. "I can barely keep up."

"When will you next come?"

"Soon, before the next moon."

"That is soon." The next moon was in two weeks. "I can watch her, while you rest, if you'd like."

"Are you sure? She will lead you a merry chase."

"Remus and I will keep her safe."

"Ma serannas, my name is Atisha. Our aravel is over there." Cara noted where she pointed.

"I'm Carina, most call me Cara."

Atisha gave her a grateful smile.

Cara found a grassy spot beside a large boulder to sit and watch over the child. The laughter of Ghilia drew other children. The bravery of the youngest removed their fear of the giant wolf. They abandoned their fussing over the golden halla and went to play with Remus. He lay, tongue out, clearly enjoying the attention.

The golden halla settled on the grass beside her. Cara stroked her neck gently. The deer let out a sigh, placed her head across Cara's lap, and soon fell asleep.

Mothers found places nearby to watch children play with Remus. Some wove baskets, while others repaired torn sails or sewed clothing.

"You have made another friend it seems." Solas grinned down at her. "Will she follow when we leave, I wonder?"

Cara shook her head. "She is just grateful. She is content to stay with the Dalish and the other halla. She just wants a break from the excited children."

Solas chuckled at them playing with Remus, he was up on his feet, and a few brave souls climbed on his back. He humored them by walking a few feet, letting them ride a short time before they slipped off.

Mothers' scolded the older ones attempting to ride, reminding them they were too heavy for him.

Solas sat beside her, leaning against the boulder. He sighed and closed his eyes.

Ghilia grew bored of the games the others played with Remus and toddled toward Cara and the Halla. She tilted her head at Solas and crawled into his lap.

Solas opened his eyes with a start. Cara giggled as the little girl cupped his face.

"Shhhh, sowwy."

He smiled tenderly. "Tel'abelas, da'len." She placed her head against his chest and gripped the jawbone necklace. He adjusted her in his lap and she curled against him. She held his pendant tightly as she fell asleep.

He gazed at her, a look of wonder and longing in his eyes. Cara took his hand and he gave her a nervous smile, the tips of his ears turned pink.

"Should we return her to her mother?"

"I offered to watch her while she rested. She will need it in the days ahead." Cara brushed the tufts of brown curls back from Ghilia's forehead. "If only we could hold onto such innocence forever."

Solas squeezed her hand. "Regrettably, we cannot, but you have reminded me to look for it. No matter how bleak the world may be, hope lingers still."

Cara leaned her head against his shoulder. He shifted, sliding his arm around her, pulling her close. They watched the children play with Remus until he grew tired of their enthusiasm.

Remus flopped beside Solas. The children wandered off in groups, some older ones led the younger children back to their parents, while others played at the edge of camp.

Ghilia woke from her nap. She stood in his lap and held his face. She studied him with a curious expression. She touched his bald head and giggled. Cara lifted her from his lap and set her on the ground. She took her hand and they walked toward her mother's aravel.

Atisha met Cara as she led Ghilia back home.

"She slept for a short while, I hope she will sleep tonight."

Atisha nodded. "She will, she plays hard after dinner as well. My thanks for the moments of peace."

"Glad to have helped. She was no trouble."

"Story?"

Cara gently ruffled her hair. "Maybe later. Your mamae needs your help."

The girl gazed questioningly at her mother.

Atisha thought a moment. "Yes, I could use your help." She gave Cara a grateful smile and took her daughter's hands. "You will need to wash your hands. You can't make bread with grubby fingers."

Ghilia giggled and walked with her mother to the river.

* * *

Hawen approached with an older woman beside him. Cara and Solas would be sharing her fire, and dinner for the evening. Cara offered to help prepare the evening meal. Hawen reminded her she was a guest.

"If she wishes to learn the old ways, I will let her help me."

"Thank you, haren." Cara smiled as Solas rolled his eyes.

"My name is Shariel, please make yourself at home." She motioned to the space around her fire.

There were a few fires burning around the camp, each family group began the evening meal preparations. The older woman was the only one by her fire.

"Where are your kin?" Cara asked looking around.

"Tahon will return soon, he's gone hunting. Our Taven is in the Emerald Graves, chasing glory. He is our only son and not yet wed." She sighed and her shoulders drooped.

"Someday he will settle."

"He was a gift to us late in life. I'm afraid I've spoiled him too much, given him freedom to do as he wished. When Hawen chose him as his first I thought he might accept the role more readily." She chuckled. "If anything, he became bolder and more determined."

A hunter brought two rabbits, cleaned and ready to roast.

"I hope rabbit is too your liking." He handed them to Shariel then leaned down and kissed her cheek.

The warmth in their expressions brought a smile to Cara's face.

"Thank you for sharing your fire with us tonight. My name is Carina, and this is Solas." She introduced them to Shariel's husband.

"This is Tahon." Shariel smiled up at her husband.

"Aneth ara, I'll return after I clean up." He gave Shariel a wink then wandered off toward the river.

Solas nodded, but his expression stayed stoic as usual.

"Your man is the quiet type," Shariel leaned close and whispered.

Cara smiled in his direction. "His previous dealings with the Dalish weren't pleasant."

"Then we will have to change that."

Solas' jaw twitched, but she ignored him, turning back to the food preparations.

"What can I help you with, Shariel?" Cara asked.

"Can you help with the bread?" She motioned to the basket of supplies.

"I'd be happy to." Cara took out the bowl and bread board. She gathered the ingredients set nearby and began her task. She hummed to herself.

"Ive not heard that tune in ages. Where did you learn it?" Shariel asked.

"My mother used to hum it when I was very young."

"It's like one my grandmother used to sing, but there is something different; not quite as sad in your version. Do you remember the words?"

Cara shook her head. "She said there were no words for it. I have heard similar played by elves in the cities, it has a few variations."

"Perhaps that is what is different." Shariel smiled. "Even among our own clans, songs are different. The way words are spoken and stories are remembered, change depending on who tells them."

Tahon returned with two bottles. "There are five left, lath."

Shariel nodded and turned to Cara. "Would you like to gather berries and herbs tomorrow? There is a patch near the ruined bathhouse. There are no bears here to eat them before the frost takes them."

"Sounds like fun."

Tahon handed a wooden tumbler to Solas. "I hope you two don't mind sharing."

"Not at all, thank you," Cara said.

Solas hesitantly took it. He waved it under his nose, his eyes widened with surprise. He took a sip, then another. "An interesting recipe, it is very good."

"It's not as good as last year's, but my mother's people have passed it down since before the fall of Halamshiral." Shariel flushed a pretty pink.

Solas held the cup for Cara, tipping it for her to taste it while she kneaded the bread.

"Ah, Dalish wine. Tart, sweet, and full of punch." She grinned at Solas. "Careful, it will sneak up on you."

Tahon laughed. "It will do that indeed."

Shariel watched her a moment. "I see you are familiar with the old ways. More your mother has taught you?"

"I have few memories of my mother. She died when I was very young."

"Tell me, what is it like, working with the Inquisition? Do you trust this – Herald?" Tahon asked.

"I believe the Inquisitor is genuine in her desire to help. She is willing to listen to the council of elves, dwarves, and mages."

He shook his head. "One of our hunters wishes to join, he's young and impressionable. Hawen has denied him, but Loranil is persistent."

"He would come to no harm. Likely, he would aid in forging alliances with other clans. Share advice with scouts and the advisers on how best to approach them, things like that."

"Is that what you do?"

She smiled and shook her head. "I work with the Inquisitor directly. Occasionally, I work for their spymaster." Cara finished shaping the loaf and placed it in the iron pan where it would raise and then buried in the hot coals to bake.  
  
"And why did you decide to join?"  
  
"They saved my life. She and Solas," she motioned at him. "His knowledge of magic is what kept me and the Inquisitor alive, and led to the Breach being closed."  
  
Solas frowned at her, but she smiled sweetly at him.  
  
Shariel smiled at them.  
  
A shadow crossed behind them. Hawen came around to sit with them.  
  
"Keeper, please join us," Tahon said. "Carina has been telling us about the Inquisition."  
  
"Can we elves trust an organization formed on the teachings of the Chantry?" Hawen shook his head, waved a hand around him. "All this was once ours; given and then taken by those who serve the Chantry. We gain nothing by allying with them."  
  
"You gain nothing by doing nothing," Solas said.  
  
Cara bit the inside of her cheek. He hadn't said anything she herself hadn't thought.  
  
"I don't believe this Inquisition can be trusted not to betray us, humans will always betray elves."  
  
"I understand the anger. I understand the hardship, I know the life for the Dalish is little better than the life of a city elf." Cara's brow furrowed as she thought. "How many more centuries do elves wander, waiting for humans to destroy themselves?"  
  
"A life forced on us by human oppression. We cannot forget, nor forgive."  
  
"What of Olafin? Loranil? I know of clans who trade freely with humans. They know when to stay their blade and their tongue, and when it is necessary to strike. No, you will never forget, and some will never forgive, but it is time to look beyond this moment, beyond that moment, and forge a new future for elves, both of the cities and the clans."  
  
"Is that why you stay with the Inquisition?" Tahon asked, a slow grin lifted the corners of his mouth. He rubbed his chin. "You seek to find a way for this 'future'?"  
  
Cara gave him a sly grin. "I have planted the idea in a few ears."  
  
Solas' eyes widened. "Is it wise to speak of such things?"  
  
She shrugged. "You would learn of them eventually, none are within Skyhold. I have plenty of unwitting accomplices there without placing one of my own in danger."  
  
"Just how will this come about? Our clans are scattered for a reason. Open war against the humans is suicide." Hawen shook his head. "It has taken centuries to recover even a fraction of the lives lost from the last one."  
  
"There are other ways to create change. You're right, open war now is suicide. A rebellion isn't started with a roar, but with a whisper," Cara said.  
  
"You think a handful of elves along your travels matter?" Solas asked.  
  
Cara laughed, causing his eyes to widen. "I left Denerim with only two, the number has grown since then." She tapped her nose. "The key is knowing who to pick as the voice whispering to the others. He is most persuasive."  
  
"And just what do you gain from them?" Hawen asked.  
  
"Now, I don't need anything from them. They watch and listen, as they always have. Now is not the time to act, but recruit."  
  
Someone in camp tapped out a rhythm. Another added the gay tune of a reed flute, and another a lute. While the evening meal cooked, the elves would celebrate their new friends and the gifts given by the Inquisition.  
  
A dark-haired hunter wearing Dirthamen's Vallaslin walked toward them. He stopped in front of Cara. He gave her a short bow. "I'm called Galias, would you dance with me?"  
  
She looked at Solas. He shrugged and nodded.  
  
"I will, thank you." She let him take her hand and pull her up. He didn't release her hand as he led her to the open area around the campfire where the other elves danced. She watched them, noting the steps they took as she tried to learn the unfamiliar dance.  
  
Galias was closer to thirty years than twenty, but still young. His confident manner suggested he knew how handsome he was. He gave her a wide smile as she let him lead her through the steps. It didn't take long before she found the rhythm. Livelier than most waltz's it still held similarities in the three count steps.  
  
The next song melded into the first, the approach of another hunter to claim a dance indicated the subtle change. She glanced at Solas. His brow furrowed now, while Hawen smiled in her direction.  
  
Shariel and Tahon joined in, leaving Solas and Hawen speaking together. From the dark look on his face, Solas was unhappy with the current conversation. Cara turned her attention to her dance partner. He was fair where Galias was dark, and though older than Loranil he was younger than Galias. The tempo of the dance along with the steps, was upbeat enough to make chatter difficult. Though, the expressions on the young elf's face told her much. A few times he opened his mouth to speak, but stopped with a rise of color to his cheeks.  
  
She gave him a polite smile and bowed as the music came to a stop. The notes of a sweet and slow song started and she intended to sit it out, realizing some of the hunters were under the impression she was available. She darted a look over her shoulder and walked into an obstacle. She raised her arms to push herself away and apologize. Familiar blue eyes, darker than usual, caught hers. Solas' arm encircled her and turned her back to the dancing.  
  
Solas held her closer than he should. His hand slipped to her lower back, resting on the swell of her nether cheeks. A smile turned up his lush lips. The smell of wine on his breath.  
  
"How much did you drink?" she asked.  
  
He shrugged. "I am uncertain, Tahon kept the cup full."  
  
They followed the other couples around the main fire, he stared into her eyes, while gentle caresses of hands and thighs teased her. She was sad to hear the last note of the slower song, reluctant to leave his arms.  
  
The next tune was livelier than the previous ones. She stepped out of his grasp to return to the Shariel's fire. Beside her Shariel's eyes sparkled with joy, and her husband's expression matched hers, as he led her into the throng of elves.  
  
"Leaving so soon?" Solas asked.  
  
She looked at the other couples. "I'm not sure I know the steps?" The dance and tune she was familiar with was different than what played now, though maybe not so different. She watched a moment longer before taking his hand once more.  
  
She laughed as she fumbled through the first steps, but Solas knew the dance well, and she relaxed and let him lead her. Her body soon recalled what her mind forgot, and she became lost to the music and the moves danced to so many centuries ago.  
  
Rhythmic clapping grew louder. Most of the clan stopped dancing to watch the two of them. Even as the music and clapping sped up, neither of them faltered. She held his gaze, losing sight of him when spun away, only to be drawn back in by a well-timed tug on her arm. The final note of the song found her in his arms. Her thigh lifted and pressed against his, held by his hand under her knee, as he dipped her. Her back arched over his other hand, hers on his shoulders.  
  
Before she could right herself Solas leaned in and kissed her. He raised her slowly, let her leg slide down the length of his, as his hand caressed upward to her waist. Her cheeks warmed at the cheers and clapping.  
  
The music didn't start again, couples and children returned to their fires and food was passed around. Solas and Cara followed Shariel and Tahon back to their fire. Shariel handed her a trencher filled with food for her and Solas to share.

Cara returned to where Solas sat. He took the offered plate she held to him and pulled her into his lap. She gave a nervous laugh at his show of open affection and possessiveness.  
  
Tahon opened the second bottle of wine and filled their cups. Shariel sat beside him with their shared trencher of food. He yelped, when she smacked his hand, as he tried to snatch both pieces of rabbit.  
  
Solas lifted a bite of food and held it in front of Cara's lips. She closed her mouth around the tips of his fingers and sucked. His eyes darkened with desire. He continued to feed her. Each time she tried to reach for food he pinched her hip. She held the cup of wine, and was stingy with the sips she let him have, saving most of the remaining bottle for herself since he had drunk most of the first with Tahon.  
  
When the meal ended she stood on shaky legs. The wine and his teasing through the meal sent her senses reeling.  
  
"You should take a walk to Enavuris River," Tahon said.  
  
"Let me at least help with cleaning up," Cara reached for the empty trenchers.  
  
Shariel waved her away. "Nonsense, I've no more to do than normal, go enjoy the time with your man."  
  
Solas took her hand and began walking toward the ruined bath. She whistled at Remus. He patiently waited through dinner and now it was time for him to hunt his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've enjoyed this fic, please comment. Lately I feel like I'm wasting my time and simply tossing words into the void.


	35. All of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Solas find the ruined bath near the Dalish camp the perfect spot for an intimate moment. NSFW, I mean like so NSFW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited (well I imagine anyway) smut has finally arrived. I hope you find it as interesting as I have. A huge thanks goes out to Dawnstonedagger for her excellent beta skills. Her words never fail to move or inspire me, and I'm ever grateful of her discerning eye over my work. Thank you, for your support, your critical but loving attention to my writing, and most of all for your friendship.

Cara slipped from his grasp after they entered the ruined bath. She wandered down the crumbled stairs, gingerly stepping over the bricks strewn about. Her fingers trailed along the walls. "I wish I could have seen it in all its glory."

Much of it looked elvhen. Though, sometime in the last 1000 years, humans had altered it. There were few intact mosaics. The arches were filled in with different stone than the original structure. Elves were freer about nudity. They felt no shame disrobing in front of others to bathe. She wondered why the rooms were sectioned off. Were they private rooms where bathers changed into attire they deemed suitable? Cara smiled to herself. It seemed reasonable to assume. Not unlike humans from her world. She shook her head, no, this was her world now. It always had been. She was home, the other world was foreign, yet, it felt.. She wasn't sure how she felt about it now. Would this world be the same if she had never left?

"Ir abelas," Solas said.

"Hmmm?" Cara reluctantly returned to the present.

"Do you miss your world?"

Cara pinched her lips together. "At times, but it's not my world, just a place I visited for a while. Odd, when I came here I thought it absurd. I was certain this was just a dream. Now..." She stared at the rune Mia had activated earlier. "I feel as if I am two people now. I am still Renan, but I'm also Carina. While I am nostalgic for things of the past, I see the value of this world. It is far from perfect, but I see it differently than you do."

Solas reached for her. "This world is broken, it struggles for breath. It continues through sheer stubbornness of will; it can not see that it is on its deathbed."

Cara pulled from his grasp. "No. It isn't death, Solas. It is but a wintering tree. The sleeping tree which waits to be reborn in the spring. It clings to that fragment of life, waiting until it is time to grow and fight again. All things have a season, you know. What grows now, is not the same as what came before. It might have lost something during the winter months—maybe destroyed by a sudden freeze, or an awful storm, but something yet grows. The new can be just as wondrous as the old, sometimes it's something stronger, more beautiful."

"You are more optimistic than I am." A sweet smile softened his expression.

"I know what was lost, I also know it had to end, just as you did. You cut the tree down, but new life has grown from the trunk. It isn't the same, but in time it has developed its own character, its own glory. And unless we nurture and protect it, it will grow just as corrupt as the tree that had to die."

"You don't believe the past can be restored? What if the tree can be made whole? What if the corruption can be purged, and the original can be restored?" His voice held a tinge of desperation.

Cara gestured to the air around them. "You tried that already. The Veil was made to contain the corruption, but it had grown too deep. That tree has withered and died. What grew in its place is different, but not without value."

Solas sighed and shook his head. "So much has been lost because of the Veil. With it, this world will never be what it should be."

"Is that for you or I to decide? You reject the mantle of godhood, but you would shape the world in the image you deem worthy? How are you better than the others?"

His hands worked at his side, the only show of irritation.

"Ir abelas, I will say no more tonight," said Cara. She recalled the last time they argued. He'd avoided her for weeks. She'd begun to think he would avoid her forever.

"You must understand, vhenan, restoring Elvhenan is my dream, but I would not see Thedas destroyed lightly. I fear the corruption runs deeper than either of us can see. Removing the Veil may be the only option to stopping the Blight, regardless of any of our desires."

"I don't know enough about the Blight to argue either way. For now, I concede that you know more than I do."

Solas kissed her cheek. His eyes shone with an unnamed emotion. "You have given me much to think about. Regardless, all plans are on hold until the orb can be retrieved."

"What if it can't?"

He shook his head. "Corypheus has the orb. His arrogance ensures he will have it with him at all times. We defeat him, we retrieve the orb."

Cara bit the inside of her cheek. "And if the worst happens?"

"Then we will find another way. I will not abandon our people, they have suffered far too long."

"I agree they suffer needlessly, but I will not see the innocent slaughtered."

"It has never been my wish to cause more suffering." He took her hand and walked to the back of the ruin.

Time had rendered the once marbled floor to little more than rubble. The smooth surface, littered with river rock, crunched under their feet.

"A shame the people here don't understand the joy of a nice bath." Cara sighed.

"War has many costs, not all of them to life and limb. This can be restored." He nodded, then shook his head with a smile. "Though..."

"It won't be the same as the original?"

He nodded sheepishly. "There is much wisdom in your words, vhenan." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "Thank you for saving my friend."

Her eyes misted with tears. "I couldn't let them die, not if I could save them." She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You carry the weight of too many deaths on your shoulders. I would ease that burden if I could."

"Their deaths are mine to bear. The Veil cost the People everything. Those who survived were powerless to stand against the injustices forced upon them."

"The alternative was much, much worse. They would have died regardless. At the hands of one of their own, or at the hands of a self-proclaimed god. Every last one of them, used against an opposing Evanuris. They would never have stopped, not until only one of them remained."

"It doesn't make the cost any less of a burden."

She hugged him close. "No, and what you plan will add to the weight of that burden."

He nuzzled his nose into her hair, taking a deep breath. "I would not see you carry that burden, ma lath."

She reached for his face, cupped his jaw tenderly. "I already do, my love. Your pain is my pain. Your joy, my joy. I wish to see the People raised from the gutter, given justice, just as much as you do." She leaned up to kiss the wrinkled brow. "Ar lath ma, Fen'Harel."

* * *

 

With a name, she set him free. She knew him, his flaws, his demons, his desires. She loved him despite who he was, in spite of all he'd done or hadn't done. With a low growl in his throat, his arms circled her and crushed her to him. His mouth sought hers. A high-pitched noise from her was swallowed by his kiss. Solas’ grip loosened, until she dug her fingers into his shirt and pulled him closer.

He’d pursued her, had been drawn to her the moment they found her. And yet, she had been the one to capture his heart.

Mana pooled around them, drawn to the call of magic. He covered her with a spell he'd nearly forgotten; the caress of a thousand kisses on her skin pulled a moan from Carina’s throat. Solas swallowed the sound. Drank deeply of the passion in her return kiss. Her delicate fingers raked along the base of his skull, deepening their kiss. He wished to freeze time to drink of her sweetness for an eternity and never be sated.

He broke their kiss then, the wanting overwhelmed him. He desired Carina more than he ever thought possible. His eyes scanned the ruin. "Not the most romantic setting," he said, shaking his head. The only redeeming feature was its seclusion. She deserved more comfort than a war-torn ruin.

"I disagree, look at the stars. Look how the light of veilfire dances along the walls. The way the mosaics glow under the moon, the tinkling sound of the nearby river. It's perfect." She gave him a teasing smirk. "Should we wait until we return to Skyhold?"

He chuckled and shook his head. “You deserve silk sheets, and mountains of pillows, champagne, and the finest delicacies.”

Her sweet laughter rang through the ruin. “I care more about who I’m sharing my time with, than the trappings surrounding us.” She moved to the open crates, and Solas followed the sway of her hips. The upturned swell of her shapely behind, as she bent to inspect a crate’s contents, only fanned his desire.

She turned with a triumphant smile. “A bottle of white wine, and a bolt of Orleasian silk. Sadly, there isn’t a mountain of pillows, but the ground is soft and the thick grass will make a comfortable bed.” She crooked her finger at him.

Solas needed no more encouragement, already hers to command. In two swift strides, he caught her up, hand on the swell of her cheek and pulled her closer. The scent of smoke, herbs and tart Dalish wine clung to Carina, mixed with the usual scent of cherry blossom that always surrounded her. He drew in a deep breath, let the heady fragrance of her fill him, before covering her lips with his own.

She leaned into him. Her hand slipped to the base of his skull, kneading and pulling him closer, her lips parted, deepening the kiss. Her lips were warm against his; soft yet demanding, possessive. One hand slipped from his neck, her fingers twisting into the fabric of his tunic. Solas’ hands slid around her waist, pulling closer.

They both felt the heat of his arousal pressed between them, when he gripped her ass, and raised her up to slide over him. He shuddered at the feel of her trembling over him. His pulse pounded in his ears, every nerve aware of her touch. His lips left hers and Carina took a ragged breath. It hitched in her chest as his teeth and tongue teased their way across her jaw to her ear.

His hands slid up her side, to find the knot of her sash. Deft fingers worked the sash loose and made quick work of the cords on her breeches, and the ties on her shirt. She met his gaze, her pupils wide and dark. Carina’s kiss-swollen lips parted slightly, her tongue darting out to tease or soothe, he cared not. Solas tugged her shirt over her head and her skin laid bare, he kissed the hollow of her throat. Her pulse beat rapidly under his tongue.  

Eager to do the same for him, she let her top fall to the ground, and tugged at the hem of his shirt. He sighed with delight as Carina slid her hands up his chest, after removing his tunic. Clothes on the ground beside them, he knelt before her and kissed her navel, his fingers skimming the edge of her breeches.  

At that, she raked her nails along the back of his head. A ragged breath left his lips and he trembled. Sensing the urgency of her desire Solas tugged the waist of her pants down. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself as he lifted her foot out of each leg.

He took her waist and held her away from him as his eyes roved over her bared flesh; he watched the cool air raise goosebumps on her skin. Full breasts, curved hips, and a soft stomach where faint stretch marks shimmered, along with a nearly faded scar, Solas took all of her in. She bit her lower lip, and a flush of color bloomed across her skin.

Feeling his eyes too keenly, Carina crossed her arms to cover herself. He took her wrists and kissed the back of each hand. He stood to meet her gaze.

"You are beautiful, ma lath." Solas tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "In all my wanderings I've not found another who challenges me as you do, nor has the compassion and wisdom you possess." His hand caressed down her arm, his thumb teasing the roundness of her breast. Carina was perfect to him. "I half expect to wake from a pleasant dream."

"If this is a dream, I never wish to wake," she said.

Taking a half a step closer she leaned up to kiss the edge of his mouth, nipped at his jaw, then his collarbone. He closed his eyes with a sigh. She ran her hands over his bare chest. Solas’ hands found her breasts and teased her flesh the way she teased his. His lips covered the tip of her ear, his tongue curled around it, and explored the delicate and sensitive folds.

Carina’s hips bucked forward at the sensation and he chuckled into her ear. “So impatient, ma lath.”

Undeterred, she tugged at the ties on his breeches. Solas caught her wrists, and lowered her to the ground. Playful, and insistent, his mouth claimed a breast and teased the end to a taut point. Carina laughed as she strained against his firm grip on her wrists. He chuckled and took the taut point between his teeth, tugging it before soothing it with his tongue once more. With each tug, her breath sped, and a moan left her throat. Her hips arched upward.

"Solas, please." Her voice was rough with desire.

He released her wrists, his hand moving lower until his fingers kneaded her ass, his mouth claiming the other breast. She clung to him, one arm around his shoulders, and the other cradling the back of his head. Forced to let him go as he moved, Carina held her breath. She hissed as his tongue circled her navel, and again as he teased her thigh kissing lower.  

"So beautiful." He kissed her inner thigh, looking up to catch her gaze.

Carina’s eyes widened as he moved lower. Her body tensed under him. He moved slowly, sensing her fear, and delicately ran a nail down her inner thigh, until her hips twisted. The scent of sex hung in the air—musk and flowers. Solas took a deep breath and kissed her other thigh. The moan that escaped her throat only added to his own desire. He wanted to hear her voice her pleasure, and his hands trembled as he slipped his fingers under the string of her smalls. How long had it been since he wanted someone the way he wanted her?

Solas let out a shaky breath. Never, he’d never desired anyone in this way.

Sex was a distraction, a release of stress, a pleasant diversion. This was so much more. His chest tightened, gripping his heart in a vice. Was he up to the task? The world was much changed. Magic and the Fade were once intrinsic to the pleasure lovers found together. Sexual intimacy was as much a spiritual connection as a physical one, though, he’d avoided such spiritual connections before.

Carina was different, he wanted to share everything with her. She knew him, in ways he dared never hope another would. She stayed at his side, despite their different opinions on how to save this world. The connection he felt already surpassed the fleeting pleasure of an orgasm.

Her fingers traced the edge of his ear. “Solas?” Her brow furrowed.

He held her gaze as he kissed the inside of her thigh, his tongue teasing along the edge of the damp fabric. He tugged the fabric down, and when it caught on the swell of her hips she lifted her ass making it easier. From there, he pulled the fabric slowly, sliding it gently down her thighs and over her knees.

“Shall I continue?” He brushed the tip of his nose over her sex. He would see to her pleasure, his own desire was now for the woman bare before him.

She groaned, pulling her lower lip between her teeth and covered her eyes with her hand. “Please,” she whispered.

Concerned at her apparent reticence, he stopped. “Look at me, Carina. If you are uncertain about this we shall wait. I would never use sex against you.”

She shook her head. “I … I know, it’s just… No one’s ever…” Her cheeks bloomed with color. “I’ve given oral sex, but never been on the receiving end. No one has ever offered.”

His surprise lasted only a moment, replaced by irritation that anyone could be so selfish. He would endeavor to make the moment memorable for her, in the most pleasurable ways.

“Their shortcoming, not yours.” His fingers traced along the damp folds, slipping between them easily. His own sex pulsed in reaction to the way hers clenched around his fingers. His tongue laved at her folds, pressing and teasing the sensitive pearl his fingers stroking within her.

Her soft gasps brought a smile to his lips. Carina’s fingers curled into his shoulders, before sliding to the back of his head nails raking along his skin. She gripped and pushed at him, breath quickened, short and shallow; her toes gripped the silk beneath her catching on the fabric, as her hips arched to press harder into the movements of his tongue.

With one hand splayed over her stomach, Solas pressed her back against the ground holding her steady. Then he felt her connect to the Fade. Her focus broke and frost covered the ground where her hands clutched for purchase.

“I’m going to… Oh!”

He pressed his face harder into the cleft of her legs, letting her move against him as she climaxed. When she finally slowed and stilled, he pulled away.

Carina’s lower lip appeared swollen from more than just their kisses. She sucked it between her teeth as her eyes met his and then released it, leaving her mouth open as she panted. A long, hungry moan left her throat. Unable to resist, he dipped down again into her, and caressed her with another flick of his tongue. She shuddered beneath him, breath held. Another flick of his tongue. She cursed, and then her voice cracked as she cried out once more in pleasure.

He gentled his tongue, lapping languidly until her breath returned to slow shallow puffs. He nuzzled into her and nosed over to kiss her thigh. “Mmmm, perfect.” He licked her spend from his lips. The heady scent of her clung to him, filled his senses with each breath.

Her hands lay limp at her sides, the frost dissipating as quickly as it had covered the ground. He gazed up from between her thighs, her eyes reflected the veilfire nearby.  A soft sigh accompanied the fall of her chest as her breathing returned to normal. Her eyelids fluttered, and he reveled in the satisfied smile which curved her mouth. Her leg trembled under his calloused hand as he slid it off his shoulder.

“Hnng. That was…” Her voice trailed off into a sigh.

“Only the beginning, I assure you.”

Soft laughter bubbled up, as Carina pressed her palm to her mouth. The other found his arm and tugged. Solas followed, sliding his hands along her sides, raising one to tease her breast; he planted a kiss beside the taut peak.

He reached for the silk to wipe his chin, but her hand covered his. She shook her head and gave him a soft smile. “Kiss me, never mind the mess.” Carina pulled his arm again, and obedient to her wishes, he slid over her.

Solas kissed her gently, letting her taste herself on his lips and chin. Her soft tongue traced the shape of his mouth, teasing, savoring what she found. She hummed low in her throat, and pulled him closer, deepening their kiss, arching her back to press herself against him. One foot hooked over the back of his leg, Carina held him between her thighs. Nails raked gently over his side. She tugged free the ties on his breeches, and slid them over his hips, freeing him. Her soft hands teased his already throbbing sex, and her touch sent a jolt of liquid heat through him. Solas bucked into her hand.

Using her thumb, Carina smeared the wetness from him, coating him with his own moisture. He grit his teeth as the pressure built, her velvety touches almost more than he could bear. Solas nipped at her lower lip, then her jaw. Kissed the throbbing pulse in her neck, sucking it into his mouth as he rubbed over her sex with his own. A deep moan echoed through the ruin, whether his or hers, he was unsure. Carina gripped the base of his shaft, and with a buck of her hips, the tip of his cock pressed into her ready core.

Liquid heat covered him, the pressure for release exquisite torture. He clenched his jaw and held his breath. “Carina, wait!” Her sex tightened around him as she arched her hips to take more of him. “I will not last, vhenan.” Solas leaned back, gripping her waist, pressing her down against their silken bed.

Her fingers brushed along the base of him as she touched herself. Her legs wrapped around him, pulling him deeper. His hips shot forward in response.

“Please, don’t stop,” she said, her voice a breathy plea. “I’m so close.”

How could he deny the sultry request? He moved into her, buried to the hilt, and the first wave of her climax immediately clenched around him. Solas withdrew, and snapped his hips forward, groaning as his balls slapped against her ass. His fingers curled into her waist, hard enough to bruise. She keened with his next panting thrust, her nails scraping along the tense skin of his arms, the sting of her scratches heightening his own pleasure.

Each snap of his hips brought a cry of pleasure from her, sounds he wished to hear echo far beyond the ruin. Twice more he thrust, then stars burst behind his eyes and he could not hold back a feral grunt.

His rhythm faltered into short staggered thrusts as he spilled himself within her, clinging to her. The pleasure of her squeezing the last of his orgasm made him shudder. And Solas could not help but chant her name to the skies.

Her body relaxed, limp and sated beneath him, and Solas buried his face in her hair; he pressed slow, deliberate kisses on her neck and shoulder.

Carina hummed against his shoulder blade, placing her own kisses there. Her hands caressed over his arms, while faint traces of magic soothed the sting of her nails. He rolled to the side, pulling her with him. Sliding free of her with a hiss.

“I will need more practice.” He nuzzled against her cheek, kissed her swollen lips.

Laughter bubbled up from her throat. “I’ll have to take your word for it, because from my end I couldn’t tell.”

“Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you?” Solas couldn’t help noticing the faint bruises that bloomed on her hips; perfectly shaped to where his fingers gripped her. He caressed over them. His own sex, pleasantly ached from their coupling and hung limp and sensitive against his thigh.

“Not at all.” She touched his chin, and turned him for a kiss.

He pulled her closer, wrapped the edge of the silk around her; she nestled deeper into his embrace. Solas waited, expecting to hear a voice of admonition. Instead of guilt, though, he felt peace. He sighed into her hair, and kissed her closed eyes. They fluttered open, while a satisfied smile curled her lips.

“Ar lath ma, mir Fen.”

“Ar lath ma, vhenan.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just go stand over there and try not to spontaneously com-bust from embarrassment. 
> 
> Edited to add: This is a PSA that this fic is probably going to have some major inconsistencies in the later chapters when compared with the early chapters, especially with Carina's character. She has evolved so much over the last two years that I'm finding it very difficult to write her within the limitations this fic has created. It is the main reason updates have been so sparse, but rather than abandon the entire work and start over I'm determined to finish, even if there is some confusion along the way. I suppose it is one of the issues with posting as you write rather than having a completed draft where all plot holes and changes can be ironed out before posting. I have a few subplots that are going nowhere, while others that weren't intended became much more intrinsic to the story. Also, soon after I finish this fic I will start posting the updated version where all the inconsistencies are ironed out and the story flows more smoothly. So if some of the things mentioned in the next few chapters sound off, it isn't because I don't remember who my characters were/are, it's because the final story has made some of my earlier decisions obsolete and I'm trying to steer it in the right direction.


	36. The Tevinter Fugitive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara and Solas return to find one of their companions missing. Cara feels responsible and is determined to see them returned safe.

Fenris sat at the fire. The Inquisitor and her companions retired to their tents an hour before. Attempting to sleep was futile; thoughts filled his mind. The last few days gave him much to think about. Tonight he contemplated the stack of papers in his lap.  
  
Most were letters Varric sent him. Letters answering his questions regarding the Inquisition and specifically, Carina. He pulled them out to burn them, but couldn't find it in himself to cast even one of them into the flames. Instead he read them again, searching the pages for the things Varric wrote of Cara. Looking for the woman he had grown to love long before he set eyes on her.  
  
Even still, when she was out of his reach, he felt the same. No, he felt more. Cara was more. She was real. She was strong, and kind. She was vulnerable, and fierce. She saw things through fresh eyes, as if the world around her was wondrous and new, and yet she held a deep wisdom, one born of experience and trial. And she was a mage. The thought didn't make his skin crawl any longer.  
  
He dug through the pages, seeking the half started attempts of correspondence he wrote. Not those he wrote to Varric, but those he wrote to someone he'd yet to meet. Someone very much alive and real from the words written about her. Varric encouraged him to write to her. Many letters mentioned how she enjoyed hearing tales of him. Though she was careful to never ask outright, she encouraged additional details of Fenris more so than the others.

He bit his cheek reading the vain attempts at voicing how he felt, they were inadequate then, even more so now, and far too late. Would things have been different if he had sent that first note months ago?  
  
"You're brooding again, Elf."  
  
Fenris startled at Varric sitting beside him. He sighed as the dwarf took the letters.  
  
"I'm sorry, I feel like I should have paid more attention. When we left for Denerim nearly three months ago she and Solas hadn't spoken much in nearly 6 weeks. Something happened after Haven, and he just quit talking to her. She seemed resigned to it being over."  
  
"No need to apologize. I should have sent one of these. Or come sooner. I suppose I will leave when Hawke returns."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, what happened the other morning? You were looking daggers at them both for days."  
  
"No more than my own distrust of mages. The more I believe she is not what she appears, the more confused I grow when she is exactly what she shows herself to be." Fenris shook his head. She was still mysterious. Maybe that was all there was. Once he learned her secret, for he wouldn't reveal what he knew until he could prove anything, once he did he might be satisfied, and this infatuation would end. Or he would only find himself more enamored of her.  
  
No, if he stayed he would regret it. He tucked the papers into his pack. He would return to Skyhold, resign his position formally. He would still aid them in their fight against Corypheus, but he would do so at Hawke's side.  
  
"I shouldn't have stayed. The Inquisitor has more companions than she needs. In the morning I will return to Skyhold, inform Cullen of my decision, then leave to join Hawke in the west." It seemed foolish to travel the distance, but honor demanded he handle his resignation in person.  
  
Varric squeezed his shoulder. "Wait until morning. You may feel different."  
  
Fenris nodded. "I will sleep on it."  
  
Varric left him to his brooding. Only the watch was awake. He should try to sleep. Fenris packed his meager belongings and retired to the tent he shared with Varric.  
  
The dwarf was already asleep. Fenris lay awake listening to the sounds of the camp. Soft snores and the steady breathing of Varric should have been hypnotic. But the pounding of his own heart thumped loudly in his ears. The walls of the tent seemed to close in around him.  
  
With a silent curse on his lips he rose. He welcomed the cool night air, the feel of the dirt under his feet. The vast sky above him. The moon was high, but the half moon gave off little light. Thousands of twinkling stars glittered above.  
  
He took a few calming breaths to push the panic away. Even now he feared to sleep. In dream, he relived memories which left him shaken and confused with the dawn. The details lost to him as he awakened. Only the vice like grip of fear in his chest spoke of the unpleasantness.  
  
That same vice gripped his heart now. He would find no sleep this night. With pinched lips he dug out the journal he kept and tore a page from it. On the top half he scribbled a note to the Inquisitor, on the bottom to Varric.  
  
He gathered his things, tied his bedroll to Shem'nan and tightened his saddle. The dracolisk nudged him for a treat, and he offered him an apple.  
  
"Ser Fenris?" The scout on watch stood behind him.

"Give this to the Inquisitor when she wakes." He handed the scout the folded page. "I was going to wait until morning, but cannot sleep. I return to Skyhold."  
  
A questioning glint flashed in the scout's eyes before he nodded and crossed an arm over his chest in salute. "Maker be with you, ser."  
  
"And with you."  

* * *

Cara woke to find Solas watching her sleep. His hand splayed possessively around her waist. The other cupped his jaw as he leaned on his elbow.  
  
"Good morning." She stretched lazily, smiling at the stiffness from their night together. The moon was high into the night sky before they returned to camp. Only the night watch was awake. She wanted to sink deeper into the blankets, but she'd made plans to pick berries with Shariel after they broke their fast.  
  
"I can't imagine a better way to start my day." His hand caressed up to cup her breast, brushed a thumb over it before leaning in to kiss her neck.  
  
"Mmmm, me neither." She kissed his collarbone, and tugged on his arm. She wanted him over her, to revel in the weight of him, his body pressed along hers. There wasn't a place on her he hadn't touched or kissed. Just thinking of the spells he'd teased her with made her stomach flip with anticipation.  
  
He nipped her collarbone and shook his head. "The Dalish stir even now."  
  
Voices rose through camp as the Dalish came awake.  
  
With a sigh she sat up. "I suppose it would be rude to sleep in. I've plans with Shariel this morning."  
  
He kissed between her shoulders. "It would be terribly rude, indeed."  
  
She trembled under the caress of his hands, and lips. "Yet you tempt me to do just that." She groaned at the ache of need his touch created. "Are you sure there isn't time?"  
  
He chuckled. "As regrettable as the answer is, I'm afraid not." He gave her hip a playful pinch and rolled to his knees with his pile of clothes.  
  
Cara watched him dress, her smirk increased when he tried to tie his breeches. He couldn't deny he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

* * *

Cara returned with Shariel at midday. Their baskets heavy with berries and herbs. Tucked in her pack were a few bottles of the stashed wine from the season before. Shariel stashed them wherever she happened to stop to make her wine. The Dalish had limited space, and to carry all of it with them was impractical.  
  
Solas was tying her things to Hanin's back. She bit back her anger at his apparent rudeness until she saw the Inquisition scout. She quickened her pace, handing her basket to the outstretched hands of another elf just inside camp.  
  
"What's wrong? Is Mia alright?"  
  
Solas shook his head. "The Inquisitor is fine, but she requests we join her immediately."  
  
Cara looked to the scout. The young man barely in his 20's fidgeted on his feet. "What happened?"  
  
"I'm not allowed to say, my Lady. Her Worship wishes to tell you in person."  
  
Cara bit the inside of her cheek and gave him a nod. She couldn't be angry with him for following orders.  
  
She turned to Shariel. "I'm sorry, I guess I won't be helping you make wine after all."  
  
The older woman hugged her. "Someday, when all this is over, find us. We'll make wine together."  
  
Cara kissed her cheek. "Thank you, for your hospitality, and your kindness."  
  
The woman flushed. "It's been my pleasure."  
  
Tahon came forward, a bottle of wine in his hand. "For the road." He held it out to Solas.  
  
"Oh, we couldn't," Cara began. Shariel had already gifted her three bottles.  
  
"Take it," Shariel said. "It's rare he gives it away to anyone." She gave Cara a wink.  
  
"Thank you," Solas said, holding his hand out to grip Tahon's arm. "You have given me much to think about."  
  
Tahon grinned. "Take care of her," he thumbed at Cara. "Not many like her in this world."  
  
Solas smiled tenderly at her. "No, she is truly a rare and wondrous person. Unique in all of Thedas."  
  
Cara felt her cheeks warm.  
  
Ghilia ran forward with something gripped in her hands. She held it up to Cara. She knelt down to take the carving gently from her grasp. A halla carved and stained yellow.  
  
"Thank you, da'len." She kissed the child's cheek. "With this, I will always find my way."  
  
Ghillia giggled and ran to Shariel, and took the woman's hand.  
  
"Dareth shiral," Shariel said. "Mythal's blessing be on you, always."  
  
"And to you, lethallan," Cara said.

* * *

They found Mia waiting at camp. All but one of her companions sat around the campfire. She slid off Hanin and handed the reins to an outstretched hand. Shem'nan called with a garbled cry. A shiver went down her spine. There was something eerie to the sound.  
  
"Good, you got here quickly. There is no time to waste," Varric said.  
  
"What's going on? Why the secrecy and why the rush?"  
  
Mia stood and handed her a note.  
  
_"Inquisitor,_  
  
_I am returning to Skyhold to formally resign my position. I feel I can be of better use in the Western Approach with Hawke._  
  
_Fenris"_  
  
"That's it, that's all he wrote?" Cara looked from Mia to Varric. Their expressions mirror the others.  
  
"Not quite, he left Varric a note."  
  
Varric shook his head. "It's my fault, I should have tried to talk him into staying."  
  
"Why did he leave?" Cara asked.  
  
Varric looked at the ground. "It's complicated."  
  
"He left because of me, didn't he?" she asked.  
  
"You can't feel responsible, I'm the one who wrote him, told him to come here. I'm the one who built this fantasy. I'm the one to blame, not you," Varric said.  
  
"Ok, but there is something I'm not seeing. Why call us back for this? Why didn't he take Shem'nan?"  
  
"He did," Mia began, waving a hand toward Shem’nan, "a scout found him. His reins tangled in the brush."  
  
Cara felt her chest tighten. Fenris wouldn't abandon his mount, certainly not saddled.  
  
She found her legs weak, and collapsed to a stump near the fire.  
  
"He's in trouble." The sting of tears welled in her eyes. "We have to find him."  
  
Mia nodded. "Pick who you want to go with you. I can't leave the Dirth until the undead are taken care of."  
  
"I would like to go," Varric said.  
  
"Of course, yes, absolutely." She looked at each one of them. Dorian watched her, a sad expression on his face. "Do we have any clues as to what happened?"  
  
"I believe I can shed some light on the subject," Dorian said. "Whoever overtook him used magic. There is a residual energy of a spell clinging to his mount. I recognize the ward. One often used to subdue runaway slaves."  
  
"Vints," spat Iron Bull. "This was no accident then, they must have been tracking him for some time. Waiting until they found him alone."  
  
"Dorian, do you think this has anything to do with Danarius?"  
  
"I'm almost certain of it. I hadn't given it any thought before, a single name can be anyone. But you found a note in Crestwood, one of the Venatori called themself Prycis. It is possible he is Danarius' son."  
  
"Well, shit," Varric said. "All these years and that bastard is still haunting his steps."  
  
"But this is Orlais, keeping slaves is illegal, surely he can't think to claim him?" Cara asked.  
  
"He is a Tevinter fugitive, if Prycis has proof Fenris belongs to him, not even Empress Celene could deny him without risking open war."  
  
"Fuck." Cara surged up and paced the camp. Her mind raced, she drew on her memories of Hawke's campaign. Recalled the codex entries on slavery. "So how do we free him? I mean legally. Even if we bust him out, someone could try this again."  
  
"I can draw up a document. If you can force Prycis to sign it no one could claim him. Once processed in Minrathous, Fenris would be a free man."  
  
Cara nodded. "How long will it take?"  
  
Dorian twisted the end of his moustache. "I believe I need only half an hour." He dipped at the waist and returned to his tent.  
  
"And what if it isn't this Prycis who has him?" Varric asked.  
  
"Then we don't need the document and we rescue our friend. Connected to Danarius or not, I don't believe this was a random act. Fenris is too well known throughout Tevinter. Hell, even Orlesians know who he is." Cara cheeks burned when Solas came into view. She took a deep breath and stopped in front of him. "I'm sorry."  
  
He brushed a tendril of hair back from her cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for, vhenan."  
  
She knew the flush of color covered her neck and cheeks. "I must try to save him, he's in trouble because of me."  
  
The shuffle of feet retreating reached her as their companions gave them space. He cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing along her cheekbone. She leaned into his touch, a tremor of pleasure tickled along her skin. "You cannot blame yourself. You did not create the feelings he has for you."  
  
"No, and I'm unsure of the way I feel about him. I care for you both." She lowered her gaze. She couldn't bear to see the pain she knew her statement would cause him.  
  
Solas kissed her cheek. "I know, and it changes nothing between us. I know what we have is real. It remains to be seen if there is more than just interest between you and Fenris."  
  
Her head snapped up, studying his face. She expected to find a furrowed brow, some show of disappointment. Instead, his expression softened, and she didn't think she imagined the amused twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"We wouldn't be the first elves to enter such a relationship," he said.  
  
Cara's thoughts seemed to vanish with her voice. She swallowed to wet her dry throat. She'd not considered there was an alternative. "I don't think Fenris would agree to such a thing. He would have to be told--everything." She pursed her lips. "I won't hide the truth from him, and I don't see him calmly going with the flow."  
  
Solas nodded. "It is too early for me to form an opinion. So far, he is hot headed and reckless."  
  
"Were you so different in your youth?"  
  
Solas chuckled. "No, oft times I goaded others into anger for sport. Tested the limits of their patience as well as my own."  
  
"He is young, but wise beyond his years. I know you don't know him well, but he isn't as unreasonable as he seems. He has reasons to be cautious." Cara took his hand. "Will you help?"  
  
Solas gave her hand a squeeze. "Unless you wish to also show Varric the truth, you will need my help."  
  
Cara looked at the ground, she hadn't thought beyond saving Fenris. She might have done something far beyond the norm of modern magic in order to see him free. "It will still be close. Three of us won't have much of an advantage if there are more than a handful of them." She wouldn’t ask for Dorian, Mia would need his barriers and spells against the undead.

“So, this may be a dumb question.” Varric called from across the camp, “but how do we find him? The scouts said the trail vanished.”

Cara pinched her lips together. “I suppose I can ask some friends of mine. Though, at this point I’m going to start owing them favors.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dorian has created a document granting Fenris his freedom. It isn't exactly canon, a slave can be made free two different ways, through a will and their owner's death, or by their owner stating before a judge that the slave is free. I'm going out on a limb here with this, but considering how costly it has been to recapture Fenris so far, I think that Dorian can work some charm and convince a judge that giving him his freedom is the only thing they can do at this point.


	37. Pieces of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taken captive, Fenris finds himself trapped in the past. His captors use his traumas to torment and punish him. 

The cold iron collar dug into his flesh. The sound of leather brushing the floor sent a wash of cold fear over him. He fought it, as hot fury coursed through his veins. He fought the urge to turn and take the chain, to pull it from Danarius' grasp. The snap of the whip and the crack against flesh rang in his ears before the biting sting broke across his back.

He bit back the hiss threatening to escape his lips. Any sound would only spur his tormentor to strike again. He would not flinch, he would not fail. He would stand firm. He would rise victorious. He would see his family free, even if he would never be. He repeated this mantra in his head with each snap and sting of the whip, ignoring the warm blood seeping from the lashes on his back.

"I'm impressed, Leto. Very little impresses me." Danarius stepped into his view, a sardonic smile on his face.

He repressed a shudder as his master caressed his cheek, then gently wiped the sweat from his brow. At Danarius' nod, he felt the gentle wash of magic over his back, sealing and mending the lashes created only moments ago.

Danarius leaned in closer. Wine-soaked breath bathed his face, nearly choking him from the stench. "There is one more test to pass. A personal bodyguard of mine must be willing to answer any request made of him, without hesitation." Danarius snapped his finger. "Clean him up and take him to my quarters."

Leto bowed his head, his shoulders fell. With heavy steps he allowed himself to be led away. Even in this, he knew he would submit. Tears stung his eyes. He was a slave. He would always be a slave. But, if his submission meant his mother and sister never bowed to a master again, he would suffer this humiliation in silence.

"Who are you?" A gravelly voice behind Leto snarled as his chain was pulled taut, nearly pulling him off balance.

Leto stared, wide-eyed at the image before him. His heart leaped in his chest. The fear and despair he felt before left him. Her white blond hair flowed around her, as did the translucent gown. A crown of silver and amethyst held her long waves back from her face. Purple mist surrounded her, casting an ethereal glow on her form. Her violet eyes were dark as the night sky. He knew the storm raging just below the surface. Power rolled off her; power artfully hidden, until now.

"Release him." Her voice echoed off the walls, causing the stones to tremble.

Laughter rang out behind him. His chain clinked and tightened, tugging him back. He clawed at the iron biting into his throat, but his fingers fell away, bloodied and useless.

"He belongs to us. If not tonight, then tomorrow, or the next. You only interrupt us, you cannot protect him."

Her gaze fell on him, a mix of admiration and sadness. "You must overcome them. You must break the chains that bind your thoughts, just as you broke free in the physical world."

"He is powerless here." The voices taunted him.

"Not powerless." Cara's eyes narrowed. "I believe in you, Fenris."

Leto was no longer his name, now he was Fenris. Leto was powerless, Fenris was not. He stood taller. He was no slave. He was a warrior. One of great ability, even before the marks were burned into his flesh. This wasn't real, this was but another nightmare.

With a growl that shook the walls, he turned on his captors. The chain was ripped from their grasp. A scream of pain as their fingers ripped from their hand. He grabbed the chain and pulled it from his neck. He blinked at the sword he now held in his hand.

"I am no slave." He snarled as he slashed toward the three.

No longer images of Danarius' apprentices, demons stood in their place.

His lips curled back, exposing his teeth. He would destroy them. In a blur, he moved through the motions ingrained in him after more than a decade of fighting. The last one fell, dissolving into a puddle of ooze. He expected the walls to dissolve with them. He turned to her expectantly.

"You must face him again. Only then will this be over." Her voice echoed in his mind. "The only power he has is that which you give him." She turned to look over her shoulder.

Danarius walked forward. With each step, his enemy grew taller, and the fear within him grew in comparison.

"Do not give into the fear." Cara's voice sounded in his mind again.

Fenris took a deep breath and drew on the anger and hate he had for the man who enslaved him. Channeling it, he pushed the fear aside, and Danarius shrunk with each step.

With a final breath, he let it out with a war cry and launched himself forward. With all his might, he slashed and whirled. With each strike, the man before him staggered back.

"Please, Leto. I have always cared for you. Return to me and all will be forgiven." Danarius fell to his knees, pleading before him.

"Lies!" Fenris stuck out with fierce determination, and gripped his heart. With a growl, he ripped it from his chest. Instantly, the walls around them dissolved into mist.

His chest heaved with each breath. Angry tears rolled down his cheeks. A soft hand touched his shoulder, then caressed his cheeks wiping away the tears.

"It is over now. They can no longer torment you with the past. Ar lasa mala revas. You are free." Tears stained her own cheeks and he raised his hand to brush them away.

His hand cupped her jaw, and his thumb caressed the contours of her cheekbone. The storm behind her eyes changed to desire, and he leaned in to kiss her lips. She returned the kiss as she had before. For a moment he let himself be lost to the sensation of her surrender.

He pulled away. Cara drew herself back, her eyes downcast, her fist at her throat. "Are you also a spirit? Desire perhaps? Another trick of the Fade?"

"No. ir abelas. The kiss was ill-considered." Color bloomed in her cheeks. "I - I don't mean to confuse you. I - am sorry." She turned to leave.

He caught her elbow. "And what of Solas?"

Her eyes shone with new tears. "I love him too." She bit her lower lip. "We found Shem'nan. He's safe and uninjured. Agitated, but that's to be expected. Do you know what happened?"

"I'm not sure where I am, the last thing I remember was the press of magic around me. I was leading Shem'nan. I think I walked through a ward." He looked around the Fade. "How is this possible? Why is this dream so vivid?"

"Most dreams are, even for those who don't recall them once they awake. You likely won't remember details." She tilted her head. She hugged her arms around her waist and turned away. "I'm sorry, now is not the time, I entered the fade to seek information on who took you."

He reached for her again, but she stepped away.

"No, it isn't right. I won't take advantage of you here. Not when you won't remember."

"I kissed you, I hardly think that is being taken advantage of."

She shook her head. "When you wake you won't remember. Part of you will, but your conscious mind will only think it a pleasant dream."

"I heard your thoughts. I know what you feel. You said the spell you cast allowed that connection, but that was only part of it."

She looked away, the muscles in her cheeks tensed. "It must be a trick of the Fade."

He drew himself up straighter. "Humor me. If I will forget all when I awaken, then tell me. Who are you? Where, no when was your home?"

A sad smile twisted her mouth. "Have you not put it together yet?"

"You know things no one should know. You cast spells few mages twice your age can cast. You carry yourself with an air of nobility. You have no fear of humans, and meet them in a verbal battle, leaving them sputtering and confused. You speak to spirits as if they were your sister or brother." He waved an arm around them. "You manipulate the Fade effortlessly. Something few dreamers can do without lyrium."

Cara shrugged. "Why tell you if you won't remember?"

He reached for her again. "Then you have nothing to lose."

She let out a defeated breath. "I once walked the world before dwarves and humans. Spirits and magic were a part of everything. A time when elves lived in palaces and crystal towers. As beautiful as it all was, it was just as corrupt and evil as Tevinter."

His mouth fell open and he dropped his hand.

With a small wave of her fingers, the Fade shifted. A grand marble hall filled with columns the size of trees held up a crystal ceiling. Gilded mosaics covered the walls, luxurious fabrics draped open arches. Elves in flowing fabrics and bright metal walked the halls.

"The Evunaris ruled over Thedas, each carved out their own territory. Some began to call themselves gods, claimed divine right over others, while others called themselves gods through their own deeds and power. They warred amongst themselves. They began to enslave their own people to increase their power base, drawing strength from those they bound."

The Fade changed from a bloody battle to a peaceful valley. Elves entered in droves, met at the gate of a great city. The feeling of peace settled over the Fade, they had found freedom. Three elves stood and welcomed those entering. A tall bald elf wore the mask of a black wolf, the woman's white-blond hair flowed to her feet, a silver circlet with amethyst stones adorned her head. The other man was cloaked, but Fenris recognized the stance of a bodyguard when he saw it.

"It was a short-lived peace. The Evunaris couldn't let this slight go unpunished, and began to torture their slaves for information. Though they could refuse, none ignored the call to fight. And so the slaves warred against their gods."

"There were fewer of us fighting for freedom than those bent on power. When Mythal was lost, so was all hope."

A group of elves gathered before a shimmering mirror, not unlike the one Merrill hid in her home.

"We fled in small colonies, hoping to save something of our world."

He watched as Cara turned a tear-stained face away from her home and passed through the mirror, and the Fade went dark.

"That is all I remember until a few years ago. I began to dream of the past, and somehow, when the Breach was created, the connection between worlds that was once lost to us, was opened again."

The scene around them changed once more. The town of Redcliffe came into focus. The Inquisitor and Solas knelt beside a battered and bloodied body.

"It wasn't until the assault on Haven that I understood who I was and that I had always belonged here."

Fenris' knees grew weak. "It is impossible." He stared at her with wonder and a small amount of fear. "Tevinter destroyed the elves, enslaved them, it can't be as you said."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, there was never going to be an easy way to break it to you. But your reaction gives me hope that you would be receptive to the truth." With a wave of her hand the image change to Skyhold.

Fenris sunk into the chair behind him.

He took in his surroundings. If he didn't know he was dreaming, there was little to give away the illusion. The chair felt real beneath him, the air crisp with the faint hints of herb and flowers from the garden. Even the thrum of voices below them in the great hall was familiar. Cara sat nearby, her arms drawn in, posture stiff. She perched on the edge of the chaise, ready to flee. Fenris closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. She had been right to fear anyone learning her truth. He himself was unsure what to think. He only knew she was not his enemy. Not at the moment, at any rate. Could she be trusted beyond the now? Part of him screamed no. She was a mage, and possibly more powerful than any he encountered.

She tilted her head at him and he realized she could read his thoughts if she wished.

"I am uncertain how to feel about your confession. I only know that today we are allies."

Her expression fell, and she gave a slight nod. "It is a lot to learn in such a short time." She stood and walked to the balcony, arms crossed over her stomach. "So much has changed since I arrived. There are days I scarce believe it myself and I've had months to unravel the mystery." She turned and gave him another slight smile. "I knew you would be my downfall."

He stood and moved to her. Whoever she was, he was drawn to her. "Whatever secret you share will be safe with me. I do know enough to know you aren't the Inquisitor's enemy. Beyond that?" He shrugged. Fenris had reserved judgment on Hawke and the mages he relied upon could wait to know if she could be trusted.

"It is more than I anticipated but less than I hoped for." She shook her head and let out a shaky breath. Her fist covered her heart. Her lips parted, her eyes widened, and her pulse beat rapidly.

He wanted to pull her into his arms once more. Wished to caress her silken strand between his fingers, and to feel the supple fullness of her lips under his. He reached out his hand and dropped it just as quickly. She was not his.

"Do you know who holds you captive?" she asked.

His lips twitched in a smile. She held his heart captive. The thought should repulse him, yet he wanted her still. Did she know his thoughts? The flush of color rising in her cheeks indicated she did. "I recall nothing beyond the press of magic around me. Only the nightmare." He suppressed a shudder at the vividness of the dream.

"We don't have much time. Night is falling and we are nearly ready to make our move."

"What do you mean?"

"We have come to save you. We are just west of your camp."

"We?" he asked.

"Varric, Solas, and Remus have joined me. Unless you wish us to leave you to break out on your own." She gave him a smug smile.

Fenris chuckled. "I would welcome the assistance."

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "For luck."

He resisted the urge to grab her hips and pull her flush against him. He wanted to claim her mouth and swallowed the soft moans she would make. Would she kiss him in return, open to the press of his tongue along the corner of her mouth? He knew the soft warmth of her mouth, felt the fullness of her lips against his. Her eyes darkened, her pulse sped, her lips parted. He felt it all, yet hadn't moved to touch her. His breath caught in his throat.

"It's the Fade, some thoughts are as real as the physical act." She let out a long breath. "It is time for you to, wake up."


	38. Son of Danarius

The Venatori camp was nestled in a bend of the river. A sheer cliff at their backs, and along one side offered protection, but could be used against them. With their escape cut off the cliffs behind would ensure no one got away. Cara almost wished Varric hadn't joined them. She could have called for her kin to aid them. Instead, it was just the three of them and she needed to pretend she was just a normal mage.

Solas gave her a pointed look, her cheeks flushed under his scrutiny. "Be cautious, vhenan." His tone and stern expression left her no doubt that he sensed what she was thinking.

"We need a distraction." Varric rubbed his chin. "I can angle around and aim an explosive bolt at that outcropping, causing a rock slide, block off all but one point of escape. Maybe even take a few with it. One of you will need to cast a barrier around Fenris."

The caged wagon containing Fenris sat near the cliff wall, the overhang dangerously close.

"I need Prycis alive. Solas, can you cast a crushing prison around him? I'm afraid in my anger I might actually kill him." Cara let her rage simmer just below the surface. Usually she would have dispelled the pent up energy, too much of it was unpredictable. Tonight she wanted every bit of it directed at the slavers and the Red Templars. "I will take on the Behemoth, Varric will back me up."

"If you can get Elf his sword, he'll fight his way out."

"I know, but they've taken his armor."

"It won't stop him," Varric said.

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Cara checked her knives. She carried two sets of throwing knives, her daggers, and her bow and arrows. She adjusted the hilt of her spirit blade, and tested the rune. Solas no longer insisted she carry a staff. The others accepted that her weapons were equipped with focusing stones.

She felt the weight of his gaze and found a soft smile on his lips. "What?"

He shook his head. "I enjoy watching you prepare for battle."

"We can't all be humble apostates who hide in the shadows, ready at the drop of a hat." She kissed his cheek, and he chased her mouth with his. Catching her about the waist.

"I will do all I can to save him," he whispered in her ear. "I know what he means to you."

She cupped his cheek. "You are just as dear to me. I hope you know that?" She spoke elvhen.

Solas answered in kind. "Shhhh, be at peace. We will discuss it later."

"Are we ready to do this?" Varric asked.

At their nods he slipped into the darkness. Cara squeezed Solas' hand before she cloaked herself in shadow and followed. She trusted the others to assess and react to any changes to the plan. They were both seasoned soldiers. Remus would follow their lead.

"Stay with Solas," Cara commanded Remus. He gave her a soft woof.

Cara Fade Stepped through the guard at the edge of camp, paralyzing him. She travelled to the front of the cage, and let herself materialize. She still held a partial cloak over her form, and took the appearance of something more spirit than elf.

"You have taken something of mine." Her voice, amplified and deepened by the connection to the Fade, echoed off the stone.

Mages and archers scrambled for their weapons. The behemoth at the edge of camp, threw its chest out and roared.

"Stay your weapons, a single foe? She cannot hope to win against 30." A much younger version of Danarius stepped forward. "Fenris is mine. He became mine the moment he murdered his master."

"You're not in Tevinter, Prycis. You are an invader, and I am within my rights to strike you where you stand."

The echo of a wolf's howl broke the quiet. Templars and mages scanned the dark, seeking the threat. A second one answered, followed by a third, and fourth. In the distance more wolves answered the call.

"I'm not alone," she kept her voice low, resisted the urge to look toward the positions she expected Varric and Solas to take.

An eerie laugh rang out against the cliff. Cara smiled at the fear in the eyes of their foes.

"You think your little parlor trick scares anyone?" Prysis sneered at her.

An archer in her peripheral vision moved his hand slowly toward an arrow. Cara pretended not to see him. Effortlessly she reinforced the barrier around her and Fenris.

"You cannot hope to win on your own." Fenris voice cracked.

Cara allowed the spell to waver.

"Your parlor tricks have drained your mana. You cannot fight us. Join us. I will make you an apprentice. You can oversee his training. Once I erase both of your memories, of course."

"You promised that to me, Master."

"Ah, Varania. I did, didn't I? You can over see them both. Perhaps if your brother has a pet, he will be more agreeable."

"Traitorous bitch." Fenris spat.

"Now, now, is that anyway to talk to your dear sister? She's missed you. I promised her I would reunite the two of you together."

"She is no sister of mine."

"You will feel differently soon enough. She longs to have her family with her." Prycis turned to her "Shall we let them have a child? You would like that wouldn't you? The doting Aunt, a happy family." Prycis clapped his hands together.

"Surrender in the name of the Inquisition." Cara's voice rang out one last time. "Surrender or die."

Prycis' laughter rang out. "Take her alive. I will enjoy taming the arrogant bitch."

Fenris snarled, his hands gripping the cage. "No! I will kill you myself, you will be at your father's side before dawn."

"I don't think so. When I'm finished with you both, you will beg me to take her as you watch."

The sound of snarling wolves surrounded the camp. Shadows of angry beasts circled them. The largest of them paced, its mouth open, showing unnaturally long fangs. At once the shadow leapt at Prycis. He and Varania shrieked as it surrounded them.

The rocks above exploded. The resounding boom echoed off the cliff, deafening the screams of those caught in the falling stone. Cara strengthened the barrier around her and Fenris. A large boulder struck the wagon, breaking loose one corner. Fenris rammed his shoulder against the gap, widening it and climbed free.

"Where is your sword?"

He pointed at a wagon on the other side.

"Go, the barrier will hold until you get there." She tossed him her largest dagger. It was a knife compared to his preferred weapon, but he gave her a feral grin and dashed off. Two mages fell as he twisted between them.

A chunk of red lyrium crashed beside her, shaking the ground under her feet. Cara turned and faced the Behemoth. With it were two rogues, and a warrior. Cara drew a set of her knives, and flung them at the rogues. They dropped like stones. The warrior stumbled a few steps and landed face first in the dirt. Varric's arrows protruded from the back of his neck.

Cara drew her spirit blade, and Fade Stepped toward the Behemoth. She passed through it, casting a fire spell within it. She let go of the spell, and the creature stumbled at the damage of her strike from within. She didn't hesitate, striking out with her magical blade, stealing power from the creature to strengthen her own barrier. Each hit, broke through the barrier around it. Varric showered it with fire bolts. She knew the others were busy with mages and Templars. It was up to her and Varric to take down the largest creature.

Fenis slid to the wagon, narrowly ducking an arrow that sailed by his head. His hand found the hilt of his sword. A silverite streak launched over his head, and the Templar rogue's scream died as Remus tore their throat out.

"You have my thanks." Fenris nodded at the wolf and followed him back into the center of camp.

Solas cast fire at Tempars, and rained stones of fire onto Venatori Mages. Fenris felt him rejuvenate his barrier, and rushed toward the center of camp. His sword cut mages down as they tried to defend against the spells Solas cast. Remus circled behind and tore at their legs.

There were 20 foes still standing. Could the three of them hope to defeat that many? Cara and Varric battled the Behemoth, and those who went to its aid. Fenris wished to join them, defend her from the giant claw that threatened to crush her as she drew close.

"She and Varric can handle the creature, we must work together." Solas spun his staff, sending lightning through the rogues that advanced. "Take out the archers. I will draw the warriors' attention." He stepped into the firelight, and cast a stone fist toward a warrior.

Fenris clenched his jaw tight and found the two archers tucked behind a toppled table and a stack of crates. He called to Remus and pointed at the one closest to the wolf. Remus slipped into the shadow. Fenris called on the lyrium, and leapt toward the stack of crates. They shattered as his sword came down through them. The archer yelped in surprise. A look of terror crossed his face as Fenris swung his sword once more.

He scanned the camp for more archers, but the only one still standing was Varric. He cast Cara a concerned look before returning to Solas. The mage put himself at risk by stepping into the light. A dozen foes moved toward him. Just as the first rogue leapt at his back; Solas Fade stepped away from danger. He reappeared at the edge of camp, far from where Carina and Varric still battled a now stumbling Behemoth.

Remus joined Fenris, and the two of them rushed the group at the center of camp. Solas cast lightning, and created a spell that pulled them into a tighter circle. Fenris used the diversion to strike at those on the outer edge, and Remus launched over them toward the center.

"Fenehdis!" Fenris slashed furiously. The wolf placed himself in danger. Two more foes fell to Fenris sword, three to Solas' spells, and Remus drug another down between jagged teeth.

When the last one fell, Remus sat on his haunches, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, and his head tilted comically. His silverite armor was dented in two places, and splattered with blood. Fenris didn't know how much of it was the wolf's.

The Behemoth lay burning and only Prycis and Varania still lived.

The five of them gathered in front of the two trapped mages. Solas released them with a snap of his fingers.

"You have saved no one. Fenris will always be a slave."

"After tonight, no one may lay claim to him ever again."

"Even if I die, he will still be a slave. My cousin will inherit."

Fenris felt his blood run cold. Nothing would stop them from coming for him.

Cara pulled a scroll from her coat. "Do be a good chap and sign this."

"And if I don't? You'll what; kill me?"

Cara's mouth turned into a feral snarl. "No, I will take you to the Inquisitor. Perhaps she will sever your head from your body, or perhaps she will make you tranquil? Shall we use your own skull to seek out those coveted shards you hunt?"

"Wait! I'll sign." Prycis trembled as he took the paper and the quill Cara held out.

"Do get a hold of yourself. I want no doubt of the authenticity of your signature."

Prycis took an audible breath and held it a moment while he tried to stop his hand from shaking. The quill scratched over the parchment, the only sound heard in the silence.

"There, though how a bill of sale frees him is beyond me? Now release me. I've done as you demanded."

"Oh, did you think you would leave here alive?"

Cara ended the spell the magic faded. Cara tucked the parchment in her pocket and waved at Prycis. "He is yours to do as you wish. Consider it another gift."

"He is as evil as his father and more dangerous. I promised to send you to your father's side. I never break my word." Fenris' markings glowed blue and he thrust his hand through the man's chest. With a flicker of the lyrium, blood spurted up his arm and then Prycis collapsed at their feet.

Fenris stood over the body shaking. His breath came in ragged pants as he regained his composure.

"Leto?" Varania's voice pleaded. "Please, I had no choice."

"You are already dead to me."

She stood and screamed. "You have no idea the hell I've lived these last five years. All because of you!"

Varania called a spell, blood swirled around her as she drew strength from the fading life force of her mentor.

Cara cast a barrier but before she could do more, Fenris raised his sword and severed his sister's her head from her body.

"Blood magic," he spat. The next moment he slumped to his knees. His body shook with silent sobs.

"I'm so sorry, Fenris," Cara said. She wanted to reach out to him but was afraid he would see her no differently.

"She is free now." He found a blanket and wrapped his sister, then carried her toward the fire and placed her over the blaze. "She was always afraid. Even as a child she was weak. Our mother fussed over her; they are reunited once more."

He walked toward the wagon they stashed his armor in. Cara started to follow. Solas caught her wrist and shook his head.

Varric sighed and followed his friend.

Cara turned into Solas' embrace and placed her head against his chest. "Thank you."

Solas kissed her temple. "Are you injured?"

"Nothing a hot bath won't take care of. A few scrapes and bruises. You?"

"I am fine."

"What about you, Remus? Anything hurt?" Cara knelt and checked him for injuries. "I don't think he's cut, will sport a few bruises himself, if the dents in his armor are any indication of how hard he was hit. Remus licked her cheek. She loosened his armor, and he sighed with relief.

Silently Varric and Fenris walked through the dead. Varric found more clues as to where the Red Templars were hiding. They all gathered any elven artifacts, runes, and weapons. They burned the bodies and the red Lyrium.

"Our camp is less than an hour away," Varric offered. "Unless you want to sleep here?"

Cara shuddered. She didn't want to stay too close to the battle, even if all bodies had been burned.

"Your camp is preferable. The more distance between me and this night the better I will feel." Fenris adjusted the sheath of his sword. He glanced one last time toward the bonfire, now little more than a pile of ash and bone. With a heavy sigh he followed Varric out of camp.


End file.
